Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

We should switch hospitals! I am sure you'd get what you wanted at my hosp. (If I go into labour spontaneously before 16th June, and a pool is free, my wish will be granted. Just don't know how likely that will be. Have no previous experience to go on.) No one has bothered to try and predict size of my baby. They are fixated on induction on 16th June. (I have said 'no way', not on a Saturday.)

Off to bed. Fertile thoughts to all. FF xx

ps FF isn't it weird that your midwife won't let you have a water birth on the grounds that you are 'too old' and mine won't even acknowledge that I might need extra help after 40 weeks because of my age and the size of the baby? Why is there such a discrepancy? At Stoke Mandeville they'd probably let you and your family sit 'jacuzzi-style' in the birthing pool with a couple of joints to keep you all going!

Mrscupcake glad you are feeling ok despite the ERPC. I followed the 'protocol' tips which AngelBump posted on the first message on this: www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.600 . She mentions egg quality related to several supps. Did everything she did except take L-Lysine as seemed bad for conception from my own research, and couldn't totally fathom the business about green tea. [dim] And Marilyn Glenville's 'Getting Pregnant Faster' was a good read. (fairly obvious stuff, but still worth reading.) Also, don't underestimate male infertility/sub-fertility as a factor. DH was shocked to find he was partially responsible for our lack of success. It wasn't just down to me having a blocked tube.

Lol I like the suggestions MrsCC and BlackKitty have for you. Hope you get what you want. These consultants have an awful lot to answer for.

Hi to everyone else.

Thanks for the support, everyone. Curry and red wine (saved some for you, FF) consumed and now feeling a little better. Blackcats I thought the same - apparently Trusts can choose to opt out. I was told firmly 'no, we do NOT have an elective policy. I burst into tears and dp explained calmly and clearly that we have ONE SHOT at a baby and did not want any risks or complications, hence my anxiety. A large baby, getting stuck and possibly oxygen deprived, is, in my view, a massive risk. So is letting a post 40 pregnancy go over 40 weeks, apparently (ok, that was wikipedia, but even so...). My consultant is just an arrogant *$£k with a 'one-size-fits-all' policy. I can't find anyone who says a bad word about Stoke Mandeville, so perhaps I'm being an arsy cow who's too afraid to give birth . That said, I was fine when I arrived at the clinic and left sobbing, so not sure it's all my fault. Will just have to get my head around this and pray that I don't go overdue.

also i thought new NICE guidelines now were that you could choose and didn't need a clinical reason or maybe that hasn't actually come in yet.

lolfactor are you in the uk? i'm very surprised at them refusing. When i expressed my desire for an elective c-section at my booking appointment (before i had MC) i was told the local policy was to attend an information session at the hospital re birth choices and to have another think, then after that if i still wanted one i could and wouldn't need to give any reason.

Hello ladies,

Just thought I'd come back in, had my erpc today and am home and pain free which is nice. Thoughts are already turning to ttc again (after the obligatory 2 week wait), has anyone on here tried immediately after mc or mmc without waiting for a period? Also think I read on here somewhere that there are herbal supplements recommended for improving egg quality?

lol you could always tell the midwife you are absolutely terrified of vaginal birth and just couldn't mentally cope with it? I think in cases like that you are allowed to 'demand' ECS, got to be worth a try?

mia that is fab news, you must be so relieved.

twirly, it doesn't matter how many children we have or don't have, the longing for another is so difficult to overcome, if other people cannot or will not understand that then they must be blessed with very lucky lives and not much between their ears! I saw in the news the other day that infertility is classed as an illness because of the psychological impact it has on couples.

Am I too late for the spa? If not I'd like an indian head massage and pedicure please, followed by a glass of cold champagne!

x

Lol that's frigging mean of them. Fingers crossed that they're over-estimating baby's weight. You were quite keen on C-sec, no? Can you do a bit of whinging and get them to change their minds? Can I join you for some curry and and a good old whinge. My whole pregnancy has been marred by likelihood of not being able to have water birth because I'm 'old'. I got very emotional about it yesterday.

Jollster great place! Right ladies, tomorrow we're all off to Climping in the helicopter. We're sending a jet for you Gum but you'd probably prefer somewhere nearer. Thailand? We'll Skype you mid-massage! Hippy thanks for the loan - and so pleased you've fallen in love with life. Miasmum that's great news. Not surprised you're in floods and the sheer relief.

Let's enjoy tomorrow, everyone! Cocktails/mocktails all round!

Purple here is the SMEP link www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm

You may well have heard it all, but just in case...there have been some success stories. I wish you all the best. It sounds like you have a really positive attitude, which can only help.

Saw the consultant today and had a 37 week scan as I'm an 'older mum' (46) and I had a 3rd degree tear with my first baby who was large. I've been told that this baby is off the centile chart (already 8lbs minimum and I have 3 weeks to go). They have refused to offer a C-section unless there are complications during labour, and they will induce me at 41 weeks. They say I've had 2 babies since the 3rd degree tear, so should be fine. I tried to explain that they were SMALLER but they weren't interested. So - my birth plan (if baby large, ask for C-section; if overdue by 1 week, c-section, otherwise try for normal birth) is out of the window. I'm having a good cry, a glass of red and a curry. As soon as I've hit rock bottom, I stand a chance of pulling myself together. Terrified? Me?

Italian thanks for your post. I admire your ability to deal with all these treatments and wish you well with adoption plans. There is absolutely no reason not to explore adoption alongside TTC as it looks like you are doing. I have been a bit shaken but a few comments here and there about adoption as a 'last resort' in the context of TTC. I know this is a kind of truth for many people but it's so different from my feelings about it and my experience. Yet another challenging process, but at least a different one!

So pleased for you MiaAlexandrasmummy - you're on such an emotional rollercoaster; take care xx

That's wonderful Hippy - I hope to reach that place very soon (the fertility one, not the geographical one - don't worry, I won't be popping up on your doorstep!) as I think it would be healthier all round.

Helicopter all fired up m'lady.

Wonderful news Miasmum :)

I will have the shoulder, neck and back rub plus toes and finger nails whilst drinking pimms please.

I love my life here and I think I might just be ready to let go of this need for another baby :)

Much love to all who are still coping with their losses. XXXXXXX

I meant .....after years of fertility treatment.

Hugs to Hippy, Tina, Gum, Diege, and *all.

Misalexandersmummy great news. That is fabulous.

Hi new ladies, Clicking, Purple and co.

Purple we are just exploring adoption after years or fertility treatment. I am not sure from what you are asking if there are ways to improve your chances. Feel a bit of a fraud giving advice, as my success rates have been so bad! well one baby after two IUIs was brilliant but no baby after 6.5 years of treatment less so! Anyway, would recommend Zita West's book on pregnancy, not sure which one. I would also recommend the sperm meets egg plan if someone can come on here and say what it is (lol ????).

Feeling OK, still hoping for a 'miracle' baby but also feeling quite positive about adoption.

Greatings and hugs to all.

i've never had any spa treatments but something that will slim down my thighs would be good. and a facial would be useful as i have adult acne having come off the pill that kept in under control for years. A platter of lovely tropical fresh fruit would be great.

MiaAlexandrasmummy that's great news!! wow time has gone so quickly- probably not for you though. FX nucal will be fine.

Congrats MiaAlexandrasmummy that is wonderful news about the 12 week scan. Fingers and toes crossed for the nuchal test and continued good news.

jollster I'm in too. For the lot - massage, facial, tapas side orders, and yoga... do you think we could persuade diege to come along and do a special cafe opening? I fancy a thai beef salad and a lemon tart, and a nice cold glass of champagne.

And some nice news to share, now I have overcome the 12-week scan hurdle today. (Too worried before). Baby is good and wriggly, with all its measurements as they should be. Still worried about the nuchal test, of course, but both DH and I are so relieved. I think we both imagined the worst. And yes, we both cried again...

Wow - that looks nice jollster. I could do with a bit of a deep facial and I just wish someone would take hold of my crazy food ideas at the moment - a real mix of uber healthy then cakes and spring rolls. Tut tut. And I've never tried the hot stones or fish-eating-toes treatments - any good?

lol lovely idea...
I love it here please and will go for the Quenched and Drenched facial, the I'll be back, and Footprints in the Sand. Tvm. I'd also like some fresh fruit salad, and a cranberry, ginger, lime and mint mocktail... :)

Lovely idea. Thanks for sorting Lol. Not too bothered where we go so long as it has an outside pool. I'll have an Ayuvedic body and head massage, mani and pedi. See you on the patio for bucks fizz and strawbs.

That's me stuck lol - hate spas/facials/massages, and would probably faint if I had to go in a helicopter! Can I opt for a pile of good books and a free session with Zita West?

Right - the mood is low, here in the snug. We all need a trip to a virtual spa so we can chill out, recap and recuperate. Now, I'm not suggesting one of those healthy regime ones. I think something a little more self-indulgent is required. Please reveal your favourite spa locations (plus fav treatments) and I'll book.

I'd like an cellulite massage treatment, an anti-ageing eye lift facial and a pedicure. Oh, and some bucks fizz with my strawberries.

Hippy please may we borrow the helicopter?

Thanks tina - I think we're probably all pretty harsh on ourselves. I do know I'm lucky to have my kids, and I do know it's ridiculous to think I can do this again at my age, but I would never in a million years apply those same standards to someone else. In fact, I don't think I would even think that way about them. I feel so much for anyone else who is on this path, no matter how many children they have - but, when it comes to me, I absolutely believe that it is appalling that I whinge about this when there are people who have lost their children. My miscarriages don't even begin to compare to that - yet, if they were someone else's losses, I would be a damn sight nicer about it all!

clicking thanks again, your story is most welcome and the very best of luck to you. It's fun and horrid, interesting and sad, confusing and crazy-making and everything else. Depends on the minute hour day. X

I thought it was you Purple - sorry to repeat story on you. I'm sorry re' adoption but I guess you could have fun trying instead. From everything you've shared I would say tests are irrelevant. Wishing you tonnes of good luck and I do hope it's a fun time for you rather than a hard one. Xxx