Hoping to concieve a particular sex?

aaaah, this thread again!! every couple of months it crops up and the OP always takes a pasting!

I have seen so many of these and I am in the camp who thinks prize has the right to post this question of course.

I am also TTC (any gender) with no luck at the moment and a part of me i don't like did read the OP and think FFS be grateful you lucky cow! BUT, Of course the OP is grateful and is perfectly within her rights to ask this question.

I have a gorgeous DS and had researched TTC a girl before starting TTC but it seemed like trying for a girl made conceiving any gender difficult and it forced me to examine why I wanted a girl and how I would feel if i conceived a boy. I got to the point where i decided i just wanted a healthy baby of either sex so we have just been TTC the usual way without trying for a gender. Now that it is not happening i feel so arrogant for even considering that I was oh so fertile that I could choose the gender of my baby.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I understand having a preference and don't think any the less of those who do try for a gender (when of course they will love either gender in the end). BUT - sometimes it's just not possible and trying for a particular gender can just add more stress into the already stressful business of TTC.

Having said that - if you read shettles and hazel chesterman phillips which I did you will probably come to the conclusion that trying for a boy is potentially easier so good luck to you OP if that's what you choose.

And don't long distance lorry drivers have more daughters? and professional cyclists? Because their bits get a bit hotter than ideal sitting on them all day, and the fragile but faster y sperm die off leaving the tougher x ones. This could be a total myth though!

One of my sisters had a pattern a lot like my mother - similar pregnancies (very sick), two girls, a few miscarriages. But then her third child was a boy! So that sort of did for the theory in her case. I've had one v. early miscarriage and we're trying again so no clear evidence from me as yet !

Agree kalidasa.

Relating to the question - I tried natural conception for a DD after a DS and got one; the 'slow but long-lived' theory of female sperm worked for me. I had sex three days before ovulation to try and get a girl and it 'worked'. DS1 was honeymoon conception - I knew I was ovulating the day after my wedding and therefore the 'fast but short-lived' theory about male sperm won on that occasion.

In case not clear the idea is that boy sperm get there quicker but die earlier, so if you can introduce sperm a few days before the egg is ready there's more chance only girl sperm will be there to greet it.

Also you are more likely to conceive girls if stressed, someone told me.

That's an interesting theory kalidasa, I know someone who has said the same thing, 4 healthy DSs and a few MCs in between them and she is convinced that her body rejects female foetuses for some unknown reason. There is still so much we don't know about the human body.

Seems a perfectly reasonable question to me, obviously fairly light-hearted and the title was very clear. Infertility is ghastly but it's still the minority experience and I don't think it's wrong to ask questions about other aspects of conception on this board.

OP - yes, have a look at the Toni Weschler book or else google 'Shettles method'. You'll need to be patient though - I think to have the best odds of success you'd need to chart your cycles v. carefully (a la Weschler) for a good few months before going for it. If you have fairly regular cycles that might make it easier.

Btw, I'm one of five girls (no boys) and my mother's only brother had five boys (no girls)! Something funny going on there. My mother also miscarried quite a few and thinks perhaps for some reason she always lost the boys (but she doesn't know that they were boys, that's just her theory). I'm not sure if there's any scientific backing for the idea that some women (or rather some couples) may produce one sex only for some reason other than chance.

Imho this is a conception board and therefore absolutely the right place to ask the question that makes me want to throw myself off a bridge

To those talking about bitterness etc, all I'd say is that infertility is truly shit, and a bit of compassion and understanding towards those who are having difficult times goes a long way.

I don't think op was insensitive at all, asked a genuine question.

Isn't there an infertility board? Couldn't the people who don't want to see anything about people who can conceive just go on there?

I am really sorry to read the entirety of this thread. Is there no way in which anyone can ask a lighthearted question without being branded incencitive? The question quite clearly said that she didn't mind either way and the fun of trying would be enjoyable, and the supportive information provided about methods i.e shuttle method was provided, but there was no need for anyone to behave like a vulture and pick it all apart. I understand that some people have trouble TTC, I am one, but I would never begrudge anyone asking anything like that. As I said in my earlier post that I would have loved to have had a DS due to a medical condition, but it doesn't affect my love for my DD. The OP's also said she loves her DD's but a DS would be the icing on the cake, it doesn't mean that she would love the new baby any less if it wasn't a DS. Not everyone on conception is having difficulties, and to penalise those who aren't atthe risk of offending someone who is really sums up this country today. If the first post offends then exit the thread, if you have something constructive to post the go ahead, but if you can post in a nice way then don't bother because you turn into the incencitive one!!!

It all leads me to ask whether this is actually a supportive forum or not?

Ooookkkkkk....

Not sure where the attack references came in - I don't think I mentioned it.. Anyway, OP if you felt I was attacking then I'm genuinely sorry - it was blunt but it certainly wasn't meant to be an attack.

My point remains that very many people on this board are struggling TTC or trying again after m/c or whatever so this kind of stuff is pretty insensitive, regardless of the board name. Of course I'm not suggesting you must never raise such a question or generally spend your whole life falling over to avoid upsetting people who are struggling (though if everyone could just hold off getting pg till I finally manage it that would be great :) )...just maybe a Bit more thought.

If I was blunt I do think one or two of the above responses was bloody spiteful and just unnecessary. I've got no problem with being upfront about what you think - see my first post! - but it doesn't need to get so mean, IMO.

Anyway, OP, I hope you didn't feel attacked and good luck whatever happens..

i purposefully avoided this thread as i felt i may feel offended by it...i have been TTC for 4.5 years and have had 7MCs during that time so i have had my share of bad luck...i decided to have a nosey after looking on the other thread and on reading the OPs erm...OP...i have to say that whilst the title seems a tad insensitively worded, the tone of the first post is light hearted and quite sensitively written. i was not in the least bit offended...i can see why some may have waded in on the offensive but really, there was no need in this case (IMO) this is the conception topic after all so a thread specifically about CONCEPTION?

Don't leave mn. We're not all grumps. I thought it was a reasonable question posted in the appropriate topic. I just dropped in because Im in the same position. Well nearly. 2 boys and desperate for a girl. And I know if I have another boy I'll probably want to try again for a girl. And since this is mn, I need to make it clear that I love my ds's and the fact they were boys didn't alter my love for them at all.

I think the OP has asked a perfectly valid question.

People need to leave their own baggage at the door sometimes.

I never said there was. In fact, if I can just refer you to my first post, you will see that I say just the opposite.

With the op posting a conception thread in the conception topic?

With what, lilac?

northey what's the problem?

Ah, damnbamboo's post got in the way of my reply to chunkychicken. Bugger. Now it looks like I just write like that.

You don't think it's an attack being called "crass and insensitive"!?!

Don't read the post if you think it might offend you. The post title is very clear on what it is about.

OP is not responsible for the fertility issues of other women, and cannot be responsible for their over-reaction if they decide to read a post clearly labelled and which they know will upset them. It's like sticking your finger in a socket when you know it will hurt, and then blaming the socket.

Grow up.

The OP doesn't like that some people are expressing their dislike of her post. But tough, that's life. Free country, free speech. She needn't read the thread either, of course.

Well it's a little abrupt maybe OP, but not really an attack.