Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the shiny new baby-friendly MOSH PIT.

Can I do some metalling of my own? I am really sorry if some of this seems a bit silly compared to what others are going through.

I had an erpc on 28 feb, and am now ttc on my wtf cycle.

I had a positive opk on Wednesday and dtd that night. However, I was on top. Has that made it unlikely I will conceive? We dtd on Sunday and Monday also but am thinking that will have been too 'early' to count.

I am charting and my temp shot up this morning so am sure I have ovulated. Didn't see dp yesterday or today (will see him tomorrow but presume that is way too late for my egg). So sorry to sound so childish but I am desperately worried I have no chance as I was on top!

I have already worked out the first day I can poas will be the same date I would have had the 12 week scan for the baby I mc'd stupid to read in to things but can't decide if that is a good or dreadful omen.

Any reassurance gratefully received x

pebs I do hope you are ok. I have read all your posts and have been thinking about you all day. That really is bad luck. I hope the googling has helped answer some questions (whatever did we do without it). Look after yourself and I hope the next few days pass quickly for you so you can get some clarity

oh for fuck's sake! Just wrote a long heartfelt post and DD crashed onto the laptop and switched off the internet.

brief summary - pebs thinking of you, I had medical management for my MMC (10 wks along), it didn't hurt. Also had a natural mc years ago, which hurt like hell. I needed to process the MMC cos it was such an awful shock, so medical management was right for me then.

midget didn't know link between ERPC and EP! where did you hear this?

missc glad you're well

tits get yerself checked out!!

hi to everyone else, iq not long now!

Urgh, I have stabbing pain in my chest. I had a pulmonary embolism with DS1 so I really need to watch out, it's not bad, but still a worry. :(

Pebs, in one sense what f*ing bad luck, 1 in 30000, but on the other hand, I completely agree that there is comfort to be drawn from this rather than worry. I have been thinking about you a lot today. I hope you find the best way for you through this hard week, and that your body and mind recovers quickly.

McC, so glad your scan went well today, and that some good people have their beedy eyes on you.

I have spent the afternoon with my frenemy, dr google, I have found out a lot about my situation.

As both twins are in the same sac they are called monoanmiotic twins. The nurse told me this yesterday but I didn't hear what she said properly. These twins are extremely rare and only have 50% chance of survival. These pregnancies are very high risk. The chance of a pregnancy being monoamniotic is 1 in 30000.

I am feeling a bit better by this news as it could just be a bad luck thing rather than being related to my previous miscarriages. It definatley gives me hope for next time as this is not likely to happen again.

Doesn't really help me with getting through the next week but is hope for the future.

I am sorry this is so hard Pebs I am fiercely hoping it all turns out right, somehow, in the end. Keep strong, you're doing amazingly. I wish there was an easy way for answers.

I've done 'expectant management' is that another name for doing nothing? Because that's what I did. Went home and waited, took a couple of weeks and when it came there were rivers upon rivers of gore. And pain - much longer and worse than labour, for me. Did call the hospital halfway through and was told there wasn't any point in coming in, all they would do was give me a bed, I should take some paracetamol. When I kind of gasped out how painful it was they said of course it's painful, it's a miscarriage . I was literally crawling round the house on hands and knees. Really horrible.

Did the induction of labour thing next time round. Wasn't so painful, was a lot quicker. Could have had drugs but didn't. Wish I had

Anyway, sorry for the doom and gloom. Everything looks OK with this one at the moment. I had the pleasure of peeing in a cup followed by a close encounter with the plastic dildo of doom and a cervix scraping delight. Cervix is normal and closed. I'm being referred from dungaree consultant to the specialist consultant who runs a pre-term birth clinic one day a week. Apparently he scans all his patients himself and is an expert on pre-term babies/late mcs and their causes. And is very nice. So I'll have him from 16 weeks onward, which sounds good.

pebs I am so so sorry and thinking of you lots. I hope you manage to get through the weekend ok and have the support of your DH. Whatever happens, you will get you baby.

Big hugs from here too, peb. In your position I'd probably go for the private scan as well just because the not-knowing sounds horrible.

I too got the "best of both worlds" (sarcastic face) experience with my m/c, in that I miscarried naturally but then needed the op anyway because I hadn't passed everything and ended up bleeding in a most spectacular fashion all over the hospital waiting room. Turns out that's a great way to get seen really quickly....

Also

I rang baby bond to find out about a private scan they said they could get me in on Monday evening but they advised me to wait until Thursday as they sometimes send people away for a week if the results are inconclusive. I will see what happens over the weekend

I had medically managed for my late mc and didn't need any pain relief. Maybe I would be ok to have medically managed fir this one. I really don't like the ga and freak out so much when they give it to me.

pebs, I am so sorry. I had medical management with my late mc, which might be a bit of a different experience, in terms of what treatment they offer but I would say that if you chose this, ask what pain relief you would be given. I was put on a morphine drip, which helped a lot, but without it, it would have been very painful. The other thing I would consider is the mental aspect of it. If you have medical management you are very much 'there' through it, which for some people might help process what has happened, and for others is very hard.

My second mc happened naturally at home, but although I was 8 weeks, I wasn't measuring this, so probably not typical.

Pebs If you can afford it I would try and get a private scan. If it is over, a scan can often show if things are moving or breaking up which can be a sign that things may happen naturally. God I hate talking like that - makes me want to throw up in the waste paper basket. I really hope it is just their lack of experience on the machine. Did they give an indication of the strength of the HB at 6 weeks?

I have tried every way of completing a MC and the last 3 I have always gone ERPC. I find emotionally this is the best for me. I find it inhumane to feel pregnant, when I am not and my body doesn't seem to want to let go,so for me this was always best (and going expectant management turned into a 3 month ordeal for me one time - infections the works) However, when I had my EP incident I saw that ERPC can increase our chances of having an EP so this made me question my decision. I also thought - I wish someone had told me this was a risk and perhaps I would have had less invasive treatment. To be honest - I am not sure that I would though, it was the right call for me. At the end of the I put my mental health first and I just have to get it over and done with so I can begin to heal. My hospital treat women who have MC so well that they make me cry through their kindness. They give you your own recovery room so you can wail when you wake up and the consultant has a lovely bedside manner.

Big hugs, waiting is so hard. It is hellish limbo land - stay away from google, it will drive you crazy x

peb When I had my mc my Mum said to me, if you go in expecting it to be all finished, then if it is it will still be sad but you'll be expecting it, if it's not then it makes it all the more happy and exciting. (That probably doesn't help in the slightest)

Well, the hospital have just called me, DP needs a blood test to see if he carries the cf gene to see if there are chances of the baby having it, and they will tie it in with a viability scan. I am now mettaling like mad.

I think I have to face facts that it is all over as there was a heartbeat at 6 weeks and not one at 8 weeks. It is unlikely a heartbeat will start up again isn't it?

I suppose there is a tiny off chance that one of the heartbeats could not be seen but after two nurses scanned me it seems unlikely they would have missed it.

The epu have just got new scan machines so maybe the nurses aren't very good at them yet. Last time I went the consultant was trying to teach the registrar how to use the machine.

Maybe I should try a private scan. Dh thinks I should just wait until Thursday at the Epu.

I rang epu today and they told me to carry in taking aspirin. I also asked them to provisionally book me in for erpc on Friday as I don't want to wait until the week after.

I had to have medically managed after 20 weeks and ended up in surgery anyway for retained placenta.

I had medical management. If I had to do it again, I think I'd go the same route as an very wary of general anaesthetic. But, management was v v v painful so if you don't share my fear - erpc probably better.

pebs are you sure its definitely over?
I am sorry if if seemed like I just fired off loads of questions yesterday, I read lmy post back and it seems bossy and not at all supportive and that was not my intention at all so I apologise. I hope you are doing ok and things resolve for you soon.

iq keeping all crossed for you that you go into labour soon

poppy 16 weeks already, wow!

manda I am sure what you are feeling is normal and a self-protection mode that your body is doing to protect you. You will love that baby when its in your arms and feel connected to itm I know it!

tis I went alone to the 6 week scan, it was much better for me that way as I wanted to process bad news on my own as well. DH not that happy about it but I insisted, it made it less stressful for me to be honest. He has put he foot down for the 8/9 week one though!

i cannot stop eating, I feel hungover and have to eat every 3 hours to stop myself feeling sick, I will be the size of the house soon

Meant to say I didn't get my period for twelve weeks following last mc. It only came back after accu

I am not feeling too bad today. Trying to think positively for the future. I still feel like I will get a baby one day.

After my last pg I waited six months before trying again luckily I got pg on second cycle. I will not be waiting that long again! It was dh idea to wait but this time we are going to try again after WTF cycle. My period for 12 weeks after second mc I went for acupuncture the day before it returned so might book in for more sessions to get things back to normal quickly.

I am going to ring epu later to see if they can get me booked in for erpc on Friday in case I need it. Don't really want to wait until the next week.

Would you have erpc or medically managed? I hate the ga but don't fancy the pain of medically managed and might need erpc anyway.

Morning all,
Well the pain carried on until I went off the bed at 11 pm, not sure when I fell asleep but woke at 5am (dammit) and the pain in my back/right side is niggly again but not too bad. I also now have shooting pains in my fanjo.......or lady garden as my DSis likes to call it!!!

midget glad you are feeling much better about things and I'm hoping that the positive crazy woman that has taken over your body can stay for a while to get you through to your next hurdle. Oh and 'gush gate' brilliant

tas best of luck for returning to work - could you buy yourself something nice or get a treatment over the weekend as a talisman for going back. I bought myself a new bracelet - nothing expensive but it helped to have something to 'hold on to' when I was sat at my desk feeling 'adrift'!!

marbles glad DH is taking good care of you and that your chilling when and where you can.

Jaffa I've no idea how close I am but to be honest I just keep saying to myself that it's all part of 'the journey' of labour and delivery so I'm staying as chilled as possible.

missc good luck today. As for OBEM I watched a couple but have not watched them all because I find them a bit distressing (forceps, rushed labour, crash c section) so tend to fast forward to the pushing stage and just watch the 'birth' part to keep reminding myself that it's all worth it and see how happy everyone is when they finish delivering.

poppy no I totally understand what you mean - the tightenings and contractions don't feel the same - which is why I was a bit meh last night as I knew it wasn't anything serious.have so had BH since 16 weeks - at the time I just didn't know what they were after all this time I feel like an expert!!! The only good thing is that the LO is in the 'perfect' birthing position so when she decides she's had enough I'm starting from a good place.

tits I totally understand what you mean - I didn't want anyone there at my early scan (was 6 weeks it was a dating scan and I'd been bleeding the days before it) but DH was away and my DSis came with me. I couldn't bare to look at the screen so she did that for me and also helped me back to the car on shaky legs when we were told all looked well - both are good memories for me now. It sounds like your trying to protect your DH from upset/disappointment but don't forget that your a team. Men often cope very differently than us with MC but it is hard for them and maybe he just wants to be part of some good news or be there to drive you home if anything unexpected comes up. It is his job to care and look after you (as it's yours to do the same for him), try not to forget that part of things!!!

Good morning ladies :)

SO we have decided to go for the viability scan in 2 weeks time, some places off it from 6 weeks but I want every chance of seeing a hb so I can wait until 7 all being well. However, I would really like to go by myself, I am the sort of person that likes time to process news good and bad by myself before seeking comfort from others, I asked DP if I could go alone and he said absolutely not a chance. I know he want's to support me and doesn't want to miss any opportunities to see our bean but if it is bad news, I don't want him to be there to see it with his own eyes, I am aware it's selfish but it's something I feel particularly strongly about. I think I would rather not have it done if it means going as a couple. That sounds awful I know. :(

Nothing much else to report, Dad came over last night, I didn't tell him I have a headache today and I have spent the past couple of days quite tearful.

just wanted to check in and say that IQ you are really in my thoughts at the moment. I think I have mentioned before that with DS my due date was 15th March. He ended up being born at 42+2 (but that's because they got my dates a bit wrong I think). I remember having "tightenings" regularly for the 2 weeks before he was born. Sometimes they were so uncomfortable I would be up leaning over the side of the bed in the middle of the night....anyway they would start up like clockwork at about 7pm and carry on all night then by the next morning they would go away. So frustrating! I too was 1-2cm dilated and "good to go" for about a week before I was finally induced, and all the midwives were convinced that they would be seeing me the evening after I had seen them.

Anyway what I am trying to say is that I have so much empathy for the incredible frustration of the last few days/weeks. I think my long long latent stage was due to the fact that DS was a wriggler and my body was trying to get him into a good position. All I can say, and I am sure you will think that I am being VERY unhelpful, is that there is a difference between the tightenings and the contractions when they start and you will know that something has changed.

And don't worry about a thing. Your body knows what it is doing, ignore OBEM - they only show what makes good telly and an active. straightforward birth is a bit dull to watch Just remember that whatever happens you have a choice so if you feel, for example, like you want the reassurance of beeping machines then ask for it - or if you want to be left alone in a dark corner with some beanbags and silence, make sure you (or your DH) tells them that's what you want. The key is that you feel confident. Your birth, your choice

Sorry for such an essay - I am just reliving what was going on 2 years ago

Really looking forward to your good news whenever your little girl decides she wants to make an appearance!

As for me, well I'll be 16 weeks on Sunday - where has that time gone?? I have started feeling the little nudges and flutterings already which is nice, and bizarrely the odd braxton hicks (as I said I had so many of these I am in no doubt of what they are!). MW says nothing to worry about but freaked me out a bit!

Manda I can really relate to what you are saying re "bonding" etc, I feel really disconnected from this pregnancy in a way, and I feel a little bit sorry for the poor baby already. I have just booked on to a pregnancy yoga class in an effort to do something for me and this baby in the hope that I can start to feel a bit more connected. Watch this space....

sorry I have been awol.

Take care ladies, lots of love xx

good luck IQ, sounds like the home straight. Not that I know anything about natural labour. I had to be induced because of 'inhospitable womb'. Or some such gubbins. Anyway even to someone like me it sounds promising.