TTC after a miscarriage - Wishing everyone shed loads of love, luck and babydust xxxx

Thanks kk ineed some vindication!

it should really be his parents that tell him but seems as it's not looking likely try your parents. if he's used to getting his own way than this is even harder for you but it's your family and i think you need to stay strong with this one. you're in the right.

oh there are, but its convincing him and to be fair thats the least of our problems. Im just so confused, i feel sick. Dh is very use to getting his way or people agreeing with him and ive noticed all his friends, family just give in to him. We have a firey but very loving relationship and i hate it whenhe is in a sulk and find him very difficult at times. I just wish his dad would say to him, you cant live with inlaws have a backbone!!

where's the other girls when you need them? i'm trying to give the best advice i can but i'm sure somebody else might have better advice for you. i really hope your dh gets the job and you'll both find it's all been a lot of worry and stress for nothing.

it must be so hard for you. but going back to your parents isn't the answer especially if it makes you unhappy. it might sound daft but maybe write a letter telling him how much you would hate to live back with your parents, he might take it in more then. is there any areas in which you think you could afford to live in without racial hatred?

Sorry to go on kk, but im actually scared as i have a difficult relationship with my mum and couldnt stand living with her. We have improved a relationship a lot in the last three years and i dont want to go back to b4. Also his final solution was "Well if its such a burden for you to take another job and support us, you live with ds and your parents and i will live with mine" He is worried about living in rough area, which i can understand as my symbols of religion are on display and he is white. We attract looks and comments and sometimes sarcasm etc

oh in that case i think just talk to your parents and see what they have to say.

my dp leaves the house at 8 and gets back at 7 and he only works as an assistant manager in a retail shop. also he finally gets a day off tomorrow but he's worked 8 days on the run and we had an arguement this morning over us both being so tired

This is the prob most his friends have troubled relationships or a re single and would abandon theyre resposibilites and go back to mummy given half a chance

He moans and moans about wanting to be at higher levelmangement but only wants to do 9-5 monday to friday or at a push as his says 8-6 with occassional ie in a blue moon weekend. I just think he lives in a dream world

yeah i feel like that sometimes (yet dp is 2 years older than me!) what are his friends like? would they reccomened him moving in with your parents or would they tell him a house is a house it doesn't matter what it's like as long as you turn it into your home?

He isnt some monster or anything and i adore him, but i do feel im the only grown up at times.

i'm guessing he's in a job that doesn't come up very often. this sounds very very stressful on the both of you

Oh yes, if they were available.

yeah if you think it might help do it. would he consider moving to a different place if he could find his type of job easier there?

cross posts, kk the job interview monday is offering more money!!!!

KK you are saying exactly what i have said to him obviously in a way thats more palatable to him as i dont want to stress him out more than necessary. do you think i should tell my parents what hes saying and maybe get them to have a word he does respect them. His are useless, hes already told them we may be moving in with inlaws and they dont say anything to him

but it's an awful lot of pressure on you then. wouldn't he take up a job that doesn't pay as well if the worst happened just until he found the type of job he's looking for? (guessing not though from what you've already said about him)

Im trying not too worry, but its really difficult. Dh is very difficult at the best of times, abbrasive is the best way to describe him. Ive actually gone as far to say that if he is made redundant and doesnt take the other job if offered i will still try and support us and he is still in a strop at me and sulking.

well no it isn't. sorry but he needs to realise that you're a family now and you both pull your weight as a family and support one another. in the real world most people don't go running back to mummy and daddy for help (sorry if that sounds a bit harsh i don't even know the fella but i'm just saying what i think needs to be said)

Exactly! Im so worried, i just feel that sometimes he behaves like a child, he genuinely thinks its ok for adult children to go running to parents all the time and it isnt even necessary.

yeah you should do. hopefully they'll understand, i'm sure they will.

btw, my house isn't fantastic but it's my own place where i can close the door and it's just my family. i'd much rather have this than live with any one else even if it is family.

Thanks kk, i have even thought about telling my parents his plans and asking them to say no we havent got space, which they havent.

no, personally i don't think so you are in the right saying he should get this job. i know it'll be hard on him being away but it'll also be hard on you but if it has to be it has to be unfortunately. it would be totally unfair to move back into your parents house, even if they don't mind it's best to try to avoid it. unfortunately try not to talk about it until the outcome on friday as it's causing too much stress on you both right now. it must be so hard but try not to worry. i hope your dh gets the job, i really do.