The all new rat smacketers thread, this way for a 2012 BFP we are BROOKING NO ARGUMENT

Oh smegs I missed that! Definitely an ovulation bleed if it's stopped :)

Glad DH has issued a grovelling apology things have calmed down and sorted themselves out now, maybe
DH is far more emotionally literate than me, but I think that comes from being a mental health nurse

Generic glad you are feeling much better.

Smegs so pleased the bleed was brief. That egg must be a whopper

Pop liking your idea of going with the 'I'm not pregnant' thing. I am going to join you in this new attitude

£25 for a CBFM

Pomme what is your D-day? Bet you can't wait

Thanks for all the kind words people. DH is so lovely really. He can just be really crap at expressing himself properly. But then I think that is a man thing

Far where are you my lovely?

Please don't think that everyone else's DHs are happy to TTC because every couple has issues going on behind closed doors that you don't know about.
I agree with this so much.

I'm popping to boots at lunchtime to pick up a prescription... In the unlikely event there are any £25 CBFMs there, I'll be sure to pick a few up for ebay fellow brookers :o

Brooking for a BFN Generic (wow that feels weird)

Really sad for little I hope she is ok. If you're out there, little , it would be great to have you back if and when you and DH feel ready.

Much better now, thanks. Hope you are OK too and pleeeease don't feel negative. It was just a nice, juicy egg.

X-post! Hi Generic, hope you're feeling better now?

Oh, it was just meant to be a bump rub? Sorry

far I hope things are looking less dire this morning. Must say that I visualise your DH as Kevin the teenager now - 'It's SO UNFAIR'. Yes he may be experiencing erectile problems related to stress, but to lash out at you for no good reason was very unkind. It's not your fault. I hope you remember that, whatever he says or blame he tries to shift onto you

CBFM for £25?! Sold!!!

Bleed has stopped for now. Really hope that means it was an ovulation bleed, but I can't help feeling negative. Wet fish slap please .

Morning all and thanks for the new fred!

Welcome back Shiny I wondered where you were!

Sorry to hear Maybe and Farfalla had rubbish days yesterday. Far it sounds as though he has felt a lot of pressure for ages now and it has reached a head. It's hard for you/us to be sympathetic to him because you have been through so much with mcs and investigations, whereas all he has to do is shag you. But I think men feel responsible for us in a way. As an example, my DH only wants to try one more time (and would happily not try again at all even though I know he would love another child) because he finds the stress of worrying about me and the possibility of mc too much. I feel like shouting that it's me who has to physically go through it all and if I am willing to try again and again and again if that's what it takes, then he should comply, but I suppose he has feelings too and I have to respect that. I hope you can talk all this through and get all your (his and yours) feelings out into the open. Please don't think that everyone else's DHs are happy to TTC because every couple has issues going on behind closed doors that you don't know about. Plus, like Bean said, long-term TTC is the pits because it turns into a bit of a chore and no longer just sex-for-fun-hopefully-at-the-right-time-of-the-month.

Maybe glad you feel a bit better today and have a plan for a nice couple-y weekend. Date night is an excellent idea.

Bean so sorry re AF but small consolation that you got your ov date right after all? Hope your dr agrees to the investigations - in fact I am brooking no argument that s/he will.

Smegs how are you? I agree the spotting may be ov - I used to have the same.

Hi to everyone else. Not much change here, hoping I may get a BFN tomorrow and expect ov soon and get pregnant soon. I am still brooking for a 2012 baby and that's that.

far - it does sound engineered but at least he's got it off his chest now and you can work out next steps together?

aubers stopped posted on the ante-natal thread but hopefully she's doing well and must be approaching d-day soon!

I got a leaflet from Boots Parenting Club the other day about their new fertility monitor that costs... £505 !! Money back if not pg in a year. Wonder what it does for that money?! £25 for a clear blue one is amazing!

Oh far :( :( :(
I think shiny has some great ideas as to what could be behind the situation. It sounds like the pressure's getting too much for him and he's taking it hard that he can't deliver, and (unfairly) blaming you for putting him in that position.
If it's really gotten to the point where you're questioning your marriage, maybe it would help to see a third party to discuss your problems, something like Relate?

I'm totally with you on helpful posters, shiny - hard to crush someones glimmer of hope, though! :o
I reckon if we could come up with a way of taking the not-knowing out of ttc, we'd make millions. For this month, I'm going to try really hard to go with ?I'm probably not pg? and see if I can stay any more sane doubtful

Sorry AF has turned up, Bean - you should totally push for a magic hsg! Good luck at the GP! :)

:o rat smacketeers, biscuits

Sweetie I have that book. Some of it was really interesting, but I felt a disproportionate amount of it was dedicated to acupuncture (which I'm not considering, yet) and other chinese herbally theories? Be sure to give us a heads up on anything you think stands out, though, as you read it :)

Oh no, maybe :( Shift work sucks big time why oh why did I marry a nurse? I hope you had a glass of vino and a bath and some recouperating ?me? time.

Hi pommel !

I read on the FF message board that Clear Blue are redesigning their packaging for the CBFM, so keep an eye out for cut price old ones over the next month or so (I think the machine itself is the same). One girl found one for £25 in her local boots

Not reek but Toni, bloody autocorrect.

Yes have read that book. Not as useful as here. Reek Weschler is great too. Thy you prob know most of what she says already.

X

Far we're listening and we care. You have reached a crisis and that's just shit for both of you. I wish we could say something to help. Couples counselling might not be for you but it might be a way to beat this horrible experience together. Sending you a massive brook. Xxx

Morning all! Thanks Sweetie it has helped no end. We are going to have a proper chat tomorrow as I am bunking off work and over the weekend to talk through things. He has assured me he wants a baby more than anything, he is just worried about the practical stuff But I am keeping my fingers crossed that we will carry on TTC but try and be more positive about things. We have also both agreed that we need to make more time for 'us'. Silly though that sounds, by the time we have gotten in from work, cooked dinner, walked dog, exercised etc, we are both exhausted and fall into bed. So we are going to set aside 'proper' time and go on a proper date at least once a month

Far how are you feeling this morning? I hope things seem better now you have both slept on it. Your DH really needs to sit down with you and explain properly what he is thinking. I know what you mean about being fed up being the only one that every makes the decisions and finds the solutions. I sometimes find it hard with my DH to talk about these things without arguing, but I know you will sort things out

Sweetie I haven't read this book, but I know lots of people rave about it. I seem to have a feeling Bean may have read it too, but I could be making this up

Also, how are you Munx? And Little if you are here, hope you are ok and being looked after x

Morning all, been busy in RL last few days - back now though. Loving the new thread, have whizzed through catching up.

Far my heart goes out to you, I also send you {{hugs}} and {{more hugs}} my dear.

Maybe sorry to hear you are going through it too, hope the cuddle with DH this morning was lovely and cheered everyone up.

Waves to everyone else.

I have been leant a copy of Zita West's Guide to Getting Updiffed Pregnant - anyone else read it? Am working from home today going to the dentists so might have a flick through between during telephone meetings.

Chins up ladies and onwards to those shiny BFP and graduation to the vomitorium clutching at our glittery buckets for all we are worth.

far so sorry your evening got worse, I do hope things are a bit better this morning. I don't really have any useful advice - its a bit too early in the morning, but I'm sending (((hugs)))

But what does that mean -"take the pressure off"? Can he explain? Is it having a total break for six months? Shagging when he feels like it? How old are you - is it feasible to wait?

Sorry - millions of questions which you probably don't feel lime answering. However, from a total outsider's perspective, he needs to give you more specific answers so that you - as a couple - can decide what to do x

Far - firstly,please don't leave. I don't know what to say re DH. No sensible suggestions. However, no decisions now. Can you sit down and discuss thus with a third party? Even a counsellor or a gp if yours is decent?

Also, is DH if the meaningless but grand gesture sort? Is he posturing? Finally is he having problems getting it up? If so, he probably feels pretty shitty and us doing the typical male thing of literally shutting down the situation. This is, of course, no help to you. But rather than take such drastic measures, could the gp prescribe some Viagra? Even as a placebo if ge just takes a teeny bit? I'm not sure if the is feasible. But might be worth looking in to.

I agree with you though that you need to sit down with him and discuss things very frankly - including how he interacts with you re this. It is really emotive but you're meant to be a team working together to a shared goal. If he really, really doesn't want that he needs to do the decent thing and tell you.

FWIW, I suspect performance worries maybe at the root of thus and if you can sit down with the gp where everyone has to Bevin their best behaviour and honest it is sortable b

Just marking my place ladies, will return tomorrow to chat. Have skim read todays posts on the old thread and am so sorry that a few of you are having a hard time , big hugs. xx

Oh Far I am so sorry. I hope things seem more positive in the morning, I am sure they will, sleep can work wonders.

Pomme so lovely to see you. How is Aubers? I haven't seen her for ages. Can't believe it's been 30 weeks, it's crazy!! How are you?

Musical such wise words, you are very right. DH and I had a heart to heart over the phone, and we both got a bit emotional. I am going to go into work late tomorrow so we can have a cuddle in bed.

Biscuits I only got in half an hour ago, so no pampering or vino for me. But it is nice to be home!

far I'm so sorry. It sounds like he engineered that argument. Really unkind and underhand.

I hope he decides to talk to you like an adult soon, instead of like a moody teenager. ((((hugs))))

Just popping in to mark my place...

Far and Maybe, sorry you're having such rubbish days. I think it's only natural for DH's to have up and down days about TTC, just like us - but remember they don't have lovely MN-ers to share them with, so they just end up taking them out on us :(

Brooking no argument that everyone here has a much better day tomorrow, in every way.