The all new rat smacketers thread, this way for a 2012 BFP we are BROOKING NO ARGUMENT

I've just had my 10dpo irrational-weep, I think that AF has packed her bags and is on the train to PopcornVille :(

Wow, whimsy I actually didn't realise you were ttc no4! I don't have a problem with large families in theory (and I don't count 4DCs as large at all) as long as the parents can manage them.

I'm from a big family, as is DH - one of 5 and 7 respectively. My concern with such big families is the inability to give all the kids all the attention they need, and the tendancy to treat the elder children like mini-adults, expecting them to care for their younger siblings as such (e.g. DH, who is the eldest, was once absolutely devastated when his youngest sibling called him Dad accidentally; it caused a lot of internal conflict over how he felt about his role and place within the family dynamic).

That's without considering the wider social and economic impacts ? but I have to be honest (and selfish?) and say I'd care a great deal less about the size of the family if the family's working and not surviving on benefits. Coincidentally, I heard on the news this morning that we have the highest rates of teenage pregnancy in Europe, and given that education's pretty good nowadays, I honestly do wonder if that's in any way connected to the benefits lifestyle that some girls and women aspire to.

Hello everyone

bean and stasi I just wanted to have my twopennies worth re 15 kids and counting. I didn't see it this week, but last week one of the families clearly had real emotional issues around wanting to have lots of children.

I think it's really hard to try to deny the biological imperative some people feel to breed. It certainly gets me, and with all respect, I think all of us on here, whether we've already had a baby/ babies or not.

I do feel that family size is a personal choice, albeit (like so many other things) a personal choice with external considerations. That extends to things like the cars we drive (or not) the jobs we do, the diets we choose and the like. Whilst I agree that 15 kids is a lot (and potentially indefensible), I would hate to live in a society that dictated how many children was the 'right amount'. Societies that do make prescriptions around family size tend to impact on women's reproductive and other rights in many ways, whether that's like the one child policy in China or exhortations on women to have multiple pregnancies in the old eastern bloc countries.

Birth rates in this country are also going down across the board, so despite the odd (and I do mean that in both ways) families with double figures of off spring, the average is far closer to one.

I hope I haven't over stepped the mark. I certainly don't want to offend, and I know that there might be a degree of 'she would say that wouldn't she'. I am painfully aware that I am in a very privileged position to have 3 children, but I also feel very strongly that I would like a fourth. That, I promise, will be it though.

Just a quick post before work. Looks like af is considering making an appearance so I guess its a no this month. I will def have an answer one way or other by Monday I think. Unless (which is being really really hopeful) af is appearing normal which has confused some women into thinking they weren't pg when they were.

Hello everyone, hope Thursday is treating you well.

xpost!

bean he is going away to visit family; alas, being NHS he doesn't have much choice in when his holiday falls tbh, and as my ovulation time can range by over a week there wasn't much I could do :( He'll only be away 2 nights though, so we might be able to work around it, it depends when I pop.

Your DH will adapt; he will have to find something else to fill his time with? Maybe you could take up a joint passtime to fill the evenings? (I'm thinking something like scrabble once DS is in bed but that's a bit tame )

Yes I work from home maybe which is just as well or I think I'd have had a nervous breakdown by now otherwise!

Hope you and Otis both feel better soon :)

Beedle I hope that parsnip received a ceremony when it was roasted.

Pop - why not give DH the job of fanjo-temping - favourite place maintenance? Why's he going away when he shouldn't? full. stop.

Poor Maybe - feet up lady. Crochet is the cure.

The interview wasn't for a job really (though it will be full on); I've offered to chair a trust to keep our local park and children's petting zoo alive because the council tried to close it. I live in a fairly deprived area of London and this is a highlight we shouldn't have taken away from us. I'm not really experienced enough but I have energy and ideas so we'll see. I've suddenly of course got really busy with work - just completed something and taken on a new book to edit. Q exciting but buses are coming at once.

And DS is struggling and clingy at the moment. Not sure if it's because he's missing his bottle of milk at night (we're trying to stop it as I'm worried about teeth but he's quite distraught...) or if he senses some tension at home re' TTC - the idea of which makes me feel v guilty. [emoticon?] Poor DP really is quite lost without his glasses of wine at night. Feels rotten but I can't backtrack now after getting this far and still hope that it might tip the balance for us...

Olives - feeling sprightlier?

Fx Cakes

*Stasi& - there is a poster asking about AMH after chemo - have you seen her fred? She had a good antral follicle count 3 months after chemo but her amh is weirdly low...

Morning all (just), how is everyone today?

Pop at rummaging around in DH's favourite place!! I take mine when DH goes to the toilet in the morning! Hope you are having a better day today. I forget, is it you that works from home?

Cakes I am keeping everything crossed for you.

Hope you are feeling rested now Olives

When do you find out if you got the job Bean? Hope you are feeling ok today x

Stasi how's that UTI? Hope it has all cleared up for the swi tonight

Beedle thanks for the ideas for the allotment, and [grin[ at the lonely parsnip! I'm sure those sperm are going to get to the egg, plenty of time.

Your DH is so cute Sweetie I love it when they come out with things like that out of the blue!

I am still sick. I feel like I have been beaten up. So to console myself I am teaching myself to crochet, and have made one sock. Now to make the other.... I also have a poorly teething puppy on my hands. I feel so sorry for him, it's like all his teeth have decided to come at once!! He is the only one out of his litter to have started teething, and he is really going for it

beedle DH would not take kindly to me rummaging around and shoving a fanjometer in his favourite place, followed by a loud beeeeeep every morning! So I do it in the bathroom which isn't really advised, but I figure if I do the exact same amount of walking every morning it will cancel itself out :o

Glad it went reasonably well bean - I'm sure all the candidates look back and think "why didn't I mention xyz?" I know I usually do :)

Hope everyone's ok today. I had a rubbish day at work yesterday, but I'm sure today will be better.

FF has moved my ovulation day back to where it should be, hurrah! Coz if AF is late, then DH will be away when I pop next month which is just. not. on.

Your right sweetie its possible its not but just have to wait and see. I don't yet feel like af is imminent so who knows.

Will POAS if af not arrived by sunday. That would be exceeding my longest ever previous cycles.

I am sooo tired so I'm not even going to attempt a name checking post because despite reading through all of today's posts I have promptly forgotten most of it again Will return after work tomorrow to catch up but for now I am off to bed. Laters lovelies xx

Hello brookers

Stasi - no criticism intended re' your bf thoughts. I'm we can all agree wholeheartedly that no religion should blindly tell people whether they can use contraception or not... for health reasons as much as anything. Anyway - hope you get an early night tonight and are mended soon for SWI.

Good luck Beedle - hope the spermies are feeling chipper and up for a bit of hanging around in your tubes for good day more at least.

@ Pop's temp acrobatics.

Sweetie - your man is so up for it. Where there's a willy there's going to be a way. Brooking no argument.

Interview was fine though they didn't like my questions... "Can the council guarantee that they will maintain free parking in the area?"; "How about improved signage?" "Have you bent Sainsbury's over a barrel talked to Sainsbury's before you give them planning permission to build a new store just down the road?" I stumbled on the inevitable equal opps question though should have pointed out that they could at least have a woman to chair their Trust. Reaching minority groups to involve them in volunteering is always a challenge. Not sure what else I could say on that one though could have given an example of a great project I know about but of course wasn't in my mind when on the spot.

Anyway - tbh - they didn't get many people coming forward so it's all rather token. I'm inspired to get on though. DP's right - it's almost time to put TTC away (and just don't use contraception). Only after DP has suffered a few months of v little booze that is... Poor man, he is so grumpy. Withdrawal symptom if you ask me. Anyway - now he knows what it's like being me!

N'night all. xxxxxx

Evening all

maybe exciting about your allotment, we have a couple of vegetable patches in the garden. In case you're interested, last year we grew potatoes, carrots, peas, leeks, runner beans, butternut squash, radishes plus tomatoes, lettuce and cucumbers in pots. Not forgetting the 1 parsnip - it was very impressive but a bit lonely

sweetie any plans on where you are going for your holiday?

stasi I'll just say ouch, and hope you get better soon

generic yeah to the nearly negative pee-stick (we don't say that very often round here)

olives boo hiss to AF

pop what's wrong with laying in bed to take your temperature? through my own not-so-scientific research, I've found that laying still in bed and surfing my temp will remain constant but snoozing causes my temp to rise. But anyway that was a nice high temp you got this morning.

As for me, I had a bit of EWCM and a positive OPK today so i think the egg is about to be released, what a pity I'm 500km away from DP. But we did rat-smacking yesterday so I'm hoping the egg is out quickly enough to be caught by those sperm, or its delayed enough for me to get some more SWI on Friday am.

Bean I agree with you on pretty much everything, I've never breastfed, so don't know anything about it! I do know it can be very hard and very painful - but only from watching a tv program, which doesn't help me understand it. I guess I just think it's 'wrong' for someone to be pregnant constantly, if there's only 9 or 10 months between your children, they're not going to get the attention they need. The mother is also putting her health at risk with so many pregnancies, and risking those babies growing up without a mother.

As far as I understand it (and I don't really know) breastfeeding can stop your periods for quite a long time, whereas giving birth doesn't interrupt your cycle? I feel I can't judge the Catholic couple on that program, they're sticking to their beliefs and their 15 children are a consequence of that. You couldn't tell them to give up sex after their 2nd or 3rd child, but I wonder if she'd have breastfed them, just for a while, it might have spaced them all out by average 6 months extra, and she wouldn't have have had so many.

Sorry I didn't really think my comment through, for the most part I just think the Catholic church should re-think their ban on contraception!

bean how did you get on at the interview???

DH make me cry in ASDA over Christmas by saying "Do you think we will be going down that aisle soon?" and pointing down the baby produce aisle. Only people TTC would understand the reaction of a normally sane person to such a random comment.

Stasi - interesting view re' breastfeeding and family sizes (though my friend who has just had no' 5 breastfeeds all hers and still has one every 18 months or so...) Not sure you'd get full support from some poor mums who did everything to bf but were beaten. It's killer painful: harder than giving birth by a long-shot imho (I managed 10 months but my periods started at about 8 so theoretically I could have been pregnant at 9 months after birth..? I even dreamt about the pain last week...!) But still - I agree that it's one of the attendant responsibilities that should be considered in depth when conceiving any child. Quite frankly I'm with your DH that the planet is under too much strain for Westerners to have more than 2 children per family. Even 3 is an extra burden to an already suffering globe...

GLOOM and doom bean, sorry. I think I need the summer to come tbh. As do we all - much easier to get up the duff with nice warm wombies.

xxx

Awww sweetie that's lovely! :)

Ah Sweetie bless your DH. I think that means he would give up the booze factor too. I feel quite choked for you both. That BFP has be on its way.

Hello all other Brookers and thanks for your thoughts. Mine are with you too. xxxx

Pop that is so bizarre that your temps change depending on your position. I re took my temps this morning after 2 snoozes and waiting for shouting at DH to go in the shower. It went from 97.21 to 97.23, so not that much of a difference.

Stasi I would wait another day, it can not hurt the potency and gives you another day to get over the UTI. So glad you are feeling a bit better.

Cakes I had similar a couple of cycles ago, it went on for a few days until AF arrived . It is so easy to read so much into every symptom. Sorry to be negative - Fx yours is implantation.

Generic so pleased you are up to getting back on the brooking bike, so to speak. Hope it is only a short journey for you

DH has just emailed to say he wants us to book a holiday for March as he is hoping we will not be able to go in September as we usually do. It brought a tear to my eye that he is so hopeful. He doesn't say much but things like this make me realise how much he also wants a DC.

Ooh Pop not long til your confirmation then!

I'd save it til tomorrow stasi - not only will it be more potent as it were, but it'll probably be better with regards to your UTI?

I'm 9DPO today, Generic.

I had a weird temp experience this morning - I temp fanjolly, and it would seem my temp varies depending on whether I'm standing or sitting I stood/sat 3 different ways and got 37.20, 37.09 and 37.12 all within the same minute or two

Coss posts Stasi - I reckon maybe wait until tomorrow to give yourself chance to fully recover. And no he can't catch it.

Pop how many dpo are you? No symptoms = a symptom. Fact. Glad you escaped the lurgy.

Cakes yes POAS!!

Maybe take it easy love and get planning that allotment - sounds very nice. We were going to have a vegetable patch in the garden, but now it is a patio!

Stasi UTIs are not fun at all - I've had several and my sympathies are with you. Take it easy.

Bean I am shocked at your GP practice's ineptitude and the stress it has caused you both. I'm glad you will get some answers with the other GP but I do hope you are going to complain about the way this has been handled. Glad your DP has cut out the booze - this has to be a good thing for all sorts of reasons and not just TTC but sorry you are having such a hard time. I agree that the end of the summer still gives you a very good shot at a BFP and I am brooking no argument that it will happen for you very soon.

Olives so sorry re AF and hope this cycle gives more luck.

Smegs how are you?

Farfalla sounds like your weekend away was a godsend and it's good that you two are talking again. I think the relaxed approach may well be the best way to go for now.

Beedle enjoy the snow!

Sweetie - v impressed by your babysitting skills! You are obviously a natural!

Bartlet welcome back and I'm glad to hear you are feeling a better and starting to think about TTC again. So sorry again to hear about your little girl.

Little glad you are on the mend too and thinking about joining us again. Take care of yourself.

Hope Munx is OK and maybe just lurking for now.

Just did another test and it was pathetically faint and in fact may have come up after the 5 min, so I may be bold and declare myself ready to smack the rat in earnest!

Morning everyone. Thanks for the well wishing, I'm feeling much better today, been about 10 years since my last UTI, so I turned into a bit of a wimp. On another note though - I also got quite a bit of EWCM this morning, so might start SWI tonight. Not sure though - I'm CD14, usually ov CD16, and neg opk yesterday. So, given we're saving this batch to make it a good one, do you advise SWI tonight or tomorrow, or both? (I had to talk DH into even considering SWI tonight, I think he's is a bit worried he could catch the UTI, he can't right?)

I am very envious of those with chickens. Really hope I can bring DH round to getting some.

Maybe very jealous of your allotment. I'm on the waiting list for one, but it's about 3-5 year wait. I'd definitely get chickens, also love the plans for things to grow. I can recommend courgettes too, and there are some nice outdoor cucumbers you can grow. I even got a couple up here in Scotland. I hope you feel better soon though, take care of yourself and wrap up warm.

Little lovely to hear from you, but so sorry to hear about the mc. Much love and hugs sent your way.

Olives sorry for cd1, treat yourself to something nice as a consolation prize. The NK testing sounds like a positive step for you. It's horrible not knowing and just wondering, I hope you get some answers from it. I watched that 15 kids and counting the other day, made me angry tbh. If those women breastfed their kids rather than bottle feeding they'd not have nearly so many. If the Catholic church bans contraception, they should mandate breastfeeding! Well, strongly advise it anyway.

Far glad you've been having some good chats with DH. Is there any chance of him changing jobs? Being miserable in work is horrible, I know, I'm there too.

Popcorn you may have caught your DH's lurgy, but just be doing a better job of fighting it off. Hence higher temps but no symptoms. The positive life changes are an excellent achievement for the month, and one you can be proud of as it's within your control. A BFP is like a lottery win, it's as much luck as effort. I hope you hit the jackpot though!

Cakes fingers crossed! I always get my hopes up when things change in a cycle. I'm brooking super hard for you.

Ooo cakes when are you going to POAS? :o

I have no symptoms this month. At all. Got to be the first month ever so it must be a symptom, right?? :o