Angels and Rainbows - The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. But it can provide colour and hope.

Hi sorry I've not been back for a bit, RL getting very complicated with a house to sell and one I'm renting, my mortgage company and the power company just can't get the hang of it and keep sending letters to the wrong place or doing stupid things - then council tax wanted 250 quid by the 7th of Febuary. Still coping though and not gone mad yet.

Welcome Winnie so sorry about your little boy, my son Sproglet was stillborn at 42 weeks, I'm currently 6 weeks - so very early days.

Too I've been worrying about what to say to that question since before we started ttc. Saying it's my first would feel like erazing Sproglet out of history, saying no leads to such an awkward moment - I want to go back to NCT classes as well - we both swear it's what got us through the birth was what we learnt at those classes and being so prepared. Where do I ask to go though? The class for first time parents, where I'd have to be totally silent about Sproglet, - or the reminder course, where everyone will have happy stories about their other birth(s) and wonderful memories of their children.

As for my electric chair needs - pregnancy exacerbates an underlying condition that means I can take about 10-15 steps a day, by the end of pregnancy I doubt I'll be taking any and it'll be many months before I'm back up and running again. The NHS doesn't want to undermine my 'walking' ability (bearing in mind I need an elbow crutch, a wrist friendly crutch, sometimes wrist splints and a person helping to achieve that much). The independant living center would much rather I was totally dependant on other people for any kind of movement.

I know of no charity that would provide me with funding as I'm over 25 and I won't be abel to get a loan once the house is reposessed. I'm hoping my mum will be abel to take one out for me once the chair I have dies and I'll use part of my DLA to pay it... only DLA will only exist until 2013 and who knows if I'll get PIP easily or if it will be a fight.

It's just the trials of a stupid disabled woman trying to start a family, we'll cope, something always turns up and we've got pretty resiliant over the years. I'm going to practice crawling for now, get some knee protection and I'll at least be abel to parent from the floor. I do have the most amazing 19 hours social care from SS, can't be grateful enough that i live where I do. I plan on lots of trips to the swimming pool - I move like a fish and should be abel to play in water properly ;)

Sorry that post was sooo loong

sorry for not being on here a lot the last few days... been reading from on my phone, but don't like replying onto it Been having a horrible cough for the last week and doctor just advises taking paracetamol, could take 2 weeks to a month to clear up... not fun :(
Slept on sofa last night so DH could sleep well...
But we managed every day so far will have to tackle him tonight though

wtw your DD and mine are so alike... but you know that we said it before she keeps asking for a baby all the time as well!

cheese don't know whether you'll read this, but thinking of you lots! x

Lol blue

Fan - yes, you are weird.

Is it wierd to say that sometimes I really revel and enjoy the pain of AF cramps? (Lots of my friends think I am uber wierd for feeling this!)

well i have my ball but have to wrestle it away from ds! lol

shakey I second whatever get on the exercise ball, put your arms and upper chest on the ball and kneel, so that your bump is suspended inbetween, roll backwards and forwards, and hopefully you will give the baby enough room to move round. I spent many nights on the ball like that and it was the only position that felt comfortable. Good luck.

Right I think I'm up to speed.

wtw beautiful title, thank you. I posted that quote some time ago, it's so perfect and apt. Lovely to see it at the start of the thread to read often. Little Katie, love her, what a poignant thing to say. In a funny sort of way I know what she means. Bobbie was my first, so I too went through the "I can't see her and so maybe I'm not really a mum" thing. Very hard.

Dachs I am speechless at your boss, what an utter cow. Can you raise a grievance somehow. It is absolutely up to you when you start your ML there is nothing she can do about it. And take up the sick pay thing with HR, sure they will be appalled. Stay off as long as you can, she will cause you so much unnecessary stress if you return. (hugs)

August I so felt for you reading your post last Thurs. Know exactly what you mean about expecting each scan to be bad news. Each time it was ok I was relieved and then terrified as I felt sure that it was be bad news eventually and the later that happened the more horrific it would be and I got scared-er and scared-er. I remember being in floods of tears on the evening after my 12 week scan - fear of the 2nd trimester. I remember being angry as well at how the loss of Bobbie had totally destroyed any joy of this pregnancy and robbed me of normal reactions. One day at a time. There is always plenty of time for mentalling tomorrow!!

ciwi I too do the confused idiot look over the number of children/is Freya your first questions. Never realised before how such a simple question is such a loaded one and I never ask other people it now.

cheese sorry about the transfusions, I know how big an issue needles are for you. Hope it makes you feel a lot better though.

Welcome winnie so sorry to hear about the loss of your ds. We all talk about all of our children on here so tell us as much (or as little) as you like about him. We'd be honoured to hear. My first DD Bobbie died in the womb and was born Oct 2010, very tiny and very early. I gave birth to her sister Freya in August last year.

fan and miasmummy booo for AF, really sorry my loves, that sucks

shakey glad you and LO are both ok. I was told to try and turn a breech baby you need to spend lots of time on all fours, ... clean skirting/floors etc.

Blimey blue good luck with that! I'd be flaking out after about 8 days

Good luck blizy

to angel
All going well here, just exhausted. Been having bad nights for a while and it's catching up with me. Apparently I am all grumpy
And we found fleas on one cat so spent the weekend hoovering, grooming, carpet shampooing, disinfecting things and flea treating said cat now known as "Fleabag". Yeuck.

Love to all xx

Whatever - Katy sounds like a fantastic little girl.

Fan - I'm on cd 18. 1st day of the 2ww for me.......

Shakey- fab news that all is well, I second whatever with being on all fours, scrub your kitchen floor!

Too- I hope you are ok? Was thinking about you today. X

Damn those af,s fan and miamum.

No more bleeding AMD back home with my feet up. Had a scan today and I don't have a low lying placenta and baby looks good lots of bloodflow through the cord, not sure where the blood came from. However she is definitely breech with het bum very low down. Hmm anyone have a tip to get her to turn?

too hope your meeting was as ok as it could be

whatever bless little katie that brought a tear to my eye.

miasmum hugs to you, that must have been hard packing up mia's cot.

blizy what cycle day are you on?

too I hope today's meeting was productive and useful for you, although I can imagine it was still incredibly hard.

blue I have heard of friends cycling together, but didn't realise it could also happen over the net too! FX then.

fan I am a bit wobbly still today, but realise that perhaps I was a little silly hoping for a BFP on the day I packed away Mia's cot. Learning - be gentle on myself!

Well, a girl goes away for one little weekend and a whole new thread appears!!
Beautiful title wtw, brings tears everytime I read about rainbow babies.
fan and miasmum I am so sorry that AF got you both and pray that this is your month along with blizy and blue. fan I think those dates could defo bring you the luck you need this month
too really hope that your meeting goes as well as it can today. Try to take it easy afterwards as it is bound to be emotionally draining, especially when you are feeling so fragile already.
cheese I havent read the last pages of the other thread but get the jist that you are having the transfusion......hope it goes well.
Hello dachs, nice to hear from you, 24 weeks, wow, I didnt realise you were so close to me in dates, I will be 27 on wednesday. I thought that there was some new thingey where all woman were able to ask for a section now???? Im probably wrong!!
Welcome winnie, so sorry about your little boy, the ladies on this thread are fab and very supportive.
angel I always tell people that ask that this is my forth baby and progress from there if need be.
shakey hope you get to go home soon and thrilled that your baby girl is fine.
hello to everyone else

just bookmarking the thread, will catch up soon. Lovely to spot Dachs again, yey for viability and team pink!

miasmum how u doing to day? I'm still a little teary, I am hopefull for this month though as on the 27th of this month is the fifth anniversary of when I met my DH for our first date. And the 4th Feb is our third year wedding anniversery, and I should be ov'ing inbetween these dates, that's got to be a good sign right?

fan and Miasmum so sorry for AF... but look on the bright side :) I'm CD9 and considering my long cycles and late ov, we will probably be testing around the same time this month

I'm tired and ill... it was DH's 30th birthday yesterday... had a party on Saturday and went out for dinner yesterday! Promised him sex every day for his birthday for the next month...

Fan and miasmum - sorry about af , sending hugs to you both. X

Miasmum sorry xxx

Miasmum oh hun, its not a good day is it. Fx its our turn next month.

I've been in tears this evening, I love my DH so much he's been giving me lots of hugs and love.

fan Me too. Bummer. I was so hoping that it would be a BFP for me this month, as it would mean the baby would be due around Mia's birthday, which somehow would seem right. Too neat and tidy, I guess. But lots of tears, nonetheless...

AF is a right witch. Its like its taunting me with pains in my womb laughing at me, the bitch!

I am trying to be positive about it all but at certain moments I am close to tears. I'm going to get on the wii fit later and burn off some of this anger which will help me sleep better later.

Oh Fan, boo! I was awake in the middle of the night hoping this was your month. Maybe this is Day 1 of your pregnancy instead.

Shakey, hope your placenta doesn't turn out to be too low. Is it too late for LO to turn? 34 weeks, wow! I would also be jealous of the women getting to have their babies now. I have to keep reminding myself that 29 weeks is much too early and I don't really want Bean to be born yet.

Whatever, I hope the scan helps your DH (and you!).

Sorry for the grumpy post yesterday - was being very selfish. Am happier this morning, probably because it's sunny!