Angels and Rainbows - The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. But it can provide colour and hope.

Thanks fan. We have Zoe's ashes in her bedroom. We can't face scattering them and there is nowhere fitting near by. Home is the only place she had known, co she will stay here with us for the foreseeable future.

blizy ophelia was cremated aswell we spread her ashes in a place in the national park near us. Fx this is your cycle it would be a great birthday gift for zoe.

Congrats, Winnie, brilliant news!

At work so will post more later. Thinking of you all.

It is fan, we don't have a place to go as we had her cremated. We are going to a memorial stone put up for her at the crematorium, we just have to make the phone call- easier said than done though. I know what you mean about not being pg, I really thought I would be before Her birthday.

blizy ophelias birthday is 27th April I thought I would get in there early to get it as leave. But its made me a bit sad to book it as its now so close, can't believe its been this long and I'm still not pg!
We will probably go to her place to be with her but we havnt discussed what else we are going to do. Its hard isn't it.

Wow, huge congrats Winnie!

Blue- fingers crossed! I'm glad Ella is feeling better.

Fan- Zoe's anniversary is the 26th and her birthday 28th feb. we would like to do something to mark it but we don't know what. I am already feeling very anxious about the dates coming up, it feels very surreal.

when is Ophelias birthday?

that would be cool wouldn't it? Fx for us both and blizy too!
It is strange I'm having a rather normal cycle now, wondering whether it could be because I'm not temping anymore and therefore less stressed?

blue fx this is your month.

I am expecting ov at the weekend so hoping we will fall at similar times.

blizy how's you? Was just thinking about as I was booking some time off for ophelias birthday. Whens zoes? Have you decided what you are going to do to mark it?

oooh excited here! CBFM has been giving highs for the last few days! Today there was a peak! I'm on CD16, so that's unusually early for me, but then my AF came early as well! will have to convince DH for some more action tonight :)
I'm very pleased as I though I would ov when I am away in like 2 weeks!

winnie congratulations! I'm hoping for a late October birthday

to everyone!
DD1's chickenpox are scabbing over, she is still very itchy but will probably go back to playgroup and child minder tomorrow!

Forgot to say we think due date is early October but will see what the doc says.

Hello,

Thanks for all the congrats! I am feeling excited and also anxious at the same time but my thoughts are to try not to worry too much. There is nothing I can do so will just have to cross each bridge as we get to it!

We told our family today although it's so early we could do with their support.

I hope everyone else is doing ok x

Thanks Razz hope u re hubby gets sorted soon also xxx

winnie that is fantastic news, congratulations
cheese great to have an update from you as you are in all of our thoughts. Fab that the hospital have you so heavily under their radar, hope that makes you feel a little safer. My friends baby was born at 31 weeks in July weighing 3lb and he is doing really well. Left hospital at 36 weeks. It would be great if she could remain inside for perhaps another 2 weeks but if not then she will have 1st class care given to her Im sure xx
fan how awful for dh to have that said to him, no wonder he is upset. Did the other man no of your history?? It really isnt the kind of thing anyone should feel ok about saying. Im defo with you and would have had to retaliate with a cutting reply
too thanks for the info on what a kindle is . I have a consultant appointment this week so guess my bp will be discussed then. I do feel fine though. Hope your pains have eased now.
wtw boo for feeling tired, the first 14 weeks are a killer!!! Im really suffering from achey legs during the night, they get so painful that they wake me up (along with the almost reverse parking fiasco that changing position now feels like!!) never had it in any previous pregnancy.
angel fingers crossed for good news for Ant this week that enables you to book that holiday. My dh has a few interviews coming up, really starting to worry about it all now. We have about 2 months worth of payments left from his bonus when he returned home. Scary stuff.
Hope everyone else is well. Im working this afternoon, Sunday is so slow, it really drags!!!!

winnie congratulations! I hope you have a very smooth pregnancy.

Good evening everyone, just a little update I got a BFP yesterday!!

Thanks whatever hopefully will be sorted ASAP !! We were going to book our holiday next week & I ' m still desperate to do so!! Need to pay as much of it off before I return to work in April as then my disposable income will be virtually zero after paying for childcare!!!
So desperate for some sun & to go abroad haven t been for 3 years with Georgie & Phebs and Ant went on a " boys ". 40 th trip to Benidorm last year so I had got the dates & resort lined up ready to go!!!
FX xxx otherwise I ll be mega depressed!!! Xxx

whatever no i didnt see that. It reminds me of when the people of paulsgrove stood up to what they thought was a peadophile and it turned out to be a peadiatrician or something equally stupid.

Poor old DH was having a very tough day yesterday, its really cuts me up when I see him so down and crying. Apparently part of the problem was what a guy had said at work, about DH not drinking coffee anymore and was that beacuse Dh was firing blanks! I cant beleive people can be so insensitive, DH said he just brushed it off and didnt say anything, but I think if that was me I would have had to say something. like what am I less of a man beacuse I want to try for another baby after our first baby died. But DH has always said Im not good at the middle ground Im either a person who is really nice or a complete bitch.

cheese so glad all is well at the moment. I hope your sugars stabilise and little gerkin gets to stay inside for a little longer.

Too thanks. That's sad. Where we visit Georgie's special place there is a bench that is dedicated to a 8 month old boy ( from about 5 years ago) I always stop & read it , though I know exactly what it says on it.I feel I owe it to him.
Cheese great all is going well. How exciting you re nearly there. You ll be fine with a section as I said before there's nothing to it xxx
Fan thanks. We re hoping for that too. Big FX he ll get a new job very soon & tell them to f**k off (though he wouldn t !!!! I would though!!!)
Love to all; it's so windy & cold !!!

Glad to hear miniGherkin is still in situ, Cheese. Hope she carries on being happy and moving lots and can stay in for the next 3 weeks at least. It's great that you're feeling better after the iron, and I hope your consultant can calm some of your fears on Monday. Try a warm bath for the backache, maybe? It usually helps me.

Angel, FX for Ant's job applications - hope he hears soon about interviews.

Razz, a Kindle is an e-reader sold by Amazon. I got mine just after New Year and I love it - instant gratification when I want new books. It's not the kind with the keyboard, though - just the bog-standard one. Can I post from it? Yay for passing the GTT with flying colours! What did they say about your bp?

Am currently hosting PIL and just took them down to the cemetery so they could see Thea's headstone for the first time and plant some snowdrops. There are another two graves since Christmas Day. Both still covered by the funeral wreaths, so must be very recent. Thea was the last baby there for the first 6 months or so but now there are at least 7 after her, including a set of twins. It makes me so angry. I always go and read the names - I feel like I owe it to all the babies to know their names.

They let me home yesterday after the 2nd lot of steroids and more iron, hated it all especially all the cannulas, took a few goes to get them in and failed blood tests! Least I got it done though. It was hard staying in the hospital as I was also on labour ward and that just took me back to Scarlett's birth, I don't think I could have done another night on there. Thankfully they agreed to let me home though and I'm due back on Monday for more iron and ctgs and to take things from there.

Saw consultants yesterday too and they seem to think delivery within 1-3 weeks will be happening, exactly when depends on my consultant (she's back Monday) and obviously how happy baby is inside me. She's fine at the moment, lots of movement and ctgs/scan all reassuring but the worry of my blood sugar and insulin dropping is still there.

I'm feeling quite up today though but still a little tired, I think the iron has helped quite a bit! Feel like I can breath a lot better.

How is everyone getting on? It's been hard keeping up as there wasn't a great signal at the hospital and getting much on my phone was hard too. I felt quite odd last night, think it was the steroids, but I was laid up on the sofa all night. Couldn't sit up as my back was killing me, still twinging today but a lot better so I'm assuming it was a combination of steroids and all the stress and tension my body has been through the last week. I noticed I've just been tense constantly and I ached all over last night.

It's been quite scary but exciting at the same time and I'm swinging from between being terrified of them rushing me in for an EMCS to thinking that it'll be best just to get her out safely. I don't even know if an inducement is on the cards now due to being early and I think she was breech still but, again, not sure.

Phew, long post! I've been thinking of you all still even though I've not posted, very much in my thoughts still and hoping for the best for everyone xxx

trickle my dh is well jealous that you have the new kindle, he loves gadgets.

angel fx that ant gets one of those jobs, so he can tell the other place to stuff it!

cheese thinking of you, hope all is well.

Thanks Trickle unfortunately we can t claim a penny nor won t be able to be if Ant stays out of work. Never been able to. Hope u feel better soon. I didn t realise you could post from your Kindle mind you last time I used it was AGES ago. I ve learnt something new today!!!
Too hope your pelvis is rested now!! No further foreward Ant's meeting at work on Monday am. Also registering at 2 specialist HR agencies on Monday. Applied for loads of jobs just awaiting to hear from them re; interviews some of the jobs are perfect. Would be ace to get 1 of them then tell his current work place to stick it!!! Even if it meant loosing some money!!
Love to all; thanks for advice xxx