Angels and Rainbows - The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. But it can provide colour and hope.

too I have had lots of scares like that, but deep down I kind if knew I was just worrying myself. Pregnancy after loss is so difficult but I just know our little ones will be more than worth it. I panic when scans are due, my midwife has now agreed to see me every week so maybe that's something you can discuss with yours? We are all holding your hand x
spilt I could have written your post, I have called in late to work too just so I can make sure he is moving ok before I get up. I began to resent work because I just wanted to concentrate on my baby. I have now finished for mat leave! So I can just sit and concentrate on him whenever I like now.
Hi to everyone else, anyone testing soon?

oh too big hugs for you. It is so so wearing. I remember times of sobbing under the duvet in terror, so scared because Freya wasn't moving, and yet too scared to "confirm" my fears by dopplering or phoning the hospital to go in for monitoring. Somehow that would make it "real". DH had one heck of a job at times to calm me down. I remember being late for work numerous times because I refused to get out of bed until I was certain I'd felt her move that morning and knew we'd got through the night ok. Was so glad to stop for mat leave and be able to give all my attention to the pg!

You're so nearly there, it won't be long now. But nothing we can say will stop you mentalling all the way to the finish line. Just know that it's very normal to feel like this and it will soon be a distant memory, I promise xx

Thinking of you Too hang in there! We're all here to hold your hand! Sounds very relaxing way of spending the day

Thank you, Wtw, Angel and Fan for all the kind words. Bean spent much of the afternoon kicking me in the cervix, which hurt! It did make me feel better, though. I told DH about it when he got home and spent lots of time snuggled in bed with the Times jumbo crossword, a mug of tea and a giant slab of chocolate. Bean seems fine and is wriggling as much as usual. Scan on Tues, so not long before we get checked out again. I think part of my panic is because it's nearly 4 weeks since I was checked by MW or consultant so I don't know for sure that everything is ok. I was due to see the community MW last Friday but she cancelled because her mum was ill and hasn't been back in touch since. I'll hang on until Tuesday's scan and then give her a ring and arrange a time to see her. Still, I think Bean has grown, so FX everything at the scan will be fine.

too oh hun, how scary. Im here as always for hand holding. And angel has given you the best advice. I do think though you should be telling DH when your scared, even if it does freak him out you may help each other through it. And stuff the house work! lol, youve got better things to be doing, sit yourself down and watch a nice movie, or your favourtite tv show, get some chocolates in or a nice hot chocolate drink and do bugger all you deserve it.

Know where you re coming from Too how about hooking up your Doppler? Phebs or Georgie never moved much so I didn t count the kicks or do any of that stuff I depended upon my Doppler. Go in to hospital for a trace if you re worried.
Best piece of advice I ce got " today you are pg & when today is over you re a day closer to meeting your baby"
Take care xxxx me & Spilt have made it through & you can & will too. Xxx

I need some hand-holding. Bean was quiet for two separate 20 minute periods 2 hours apart and after the second one I lost it and cried noisily into my pillow (was lying on left side drinking cold water in an attempt to get her moving). She is now wriggling normally.

I know she needs to sleep some of the time and there's nothing abnormal about her having short quiet periods, I just seem to have tipped over the edge today and started panicking at the least little thing. DH is out at the moment so missed the second episode (I didn't tell him about the first one until it was over and she was moving again) and the crying fit. I don't want to freak him out too. I have been trying to do some housework which makes it harder to feel movements, but all I want to do is lie still and pay attention to every little twitch. I also need to take the dog out. How do I stop panicking and carry on with my day?

Yes, I'm fine. 31 weeks today and knackered, most of the time. In 6 weeks I'll have my baby! I hope 5 weeks of work to go...counting down for that almost more than to the birth at the moment. I keep nearly falling asleep after lunch. Got a growth scan on Tuesday and then will be seeing the consultant again on Thursday, so at least the week will be broken up a bit. I think Bean spent most of yesterday transverse, because my pelvis stopped aching and my hip bones and back ached instead and I didn't have any heartburn for once.

Hi Too no news as of yet. Still attending interviews just awaiting 2 nd interviews or knock backs. Glad you re ok? Xx

Fan, your DH sounds lovely! Taking his vitamins - bless! Enjoy Aberdeenshire - I grew up there and Dad still lives there so I go back regularly.

Angel, any progress with Ant's job applications?

Ciwi, glad the bp and urine are fine. I'm getting swelling in my hands and feet when I'm hot, but it goes down when I get colder so I'm not too worried.

Blizy, will be thinking of you and Zoe tomorrow.

Poor Spilt and Freya being ill. I would give myself Calpol too! FX for hordes of viewers and lots of offers on your house very soon.

Cheese, have you heard from the doctor re DS1 yet? Hope he's ok.

Wtw, so glad the scan went well! I was put back a week or so at my 8 week scan and then moved forward a week at the 12 week scan - think at such an early stage they can only guess at how far along you are.

CiwI oh, you have my sympathy we had a cold house fir a week 3 weeks ago when our boiler broke brr... Was horrible no hot water & cold house. Glad you re MW is seeing you regularly. Worrying about swelling but good that your urine & bp is good. Hope you get your boiler fixed soon.xx
Fan glad you re feeling a little brighter. 5 years 5 years Arh... I feel like I ve done a life sentence now with Ant , 13 years!!!
Spilt sorry to hear about your house & cold. Hope Freya is better soon. We re putting our house on the Market soon & I remember it being dis heartening when you have no viewings or people just fib when they do view your house. My mat leave finishes on 9th April. About 10 weeks left grh....
Hi all; still full of cold , work still being shitty with Ant. But , seeing friends soon so hopefully I ll feel a little brighter after that.

Hi everyone,
fan don't worry about speaking your mind on here, we have all been there. Glad you are feeling better today, bless our oh's they deserve a medal sometimes, I know mine has picked me up more times than I can remember over the last year or so, it can't always be easy for him x
Really hoping for you all waiting to test, you all deserve it so much x
cheese hang in there, you are doing really well x
Just a short post from me, having a bit of a nightmare in the house, water leaking in the kitchen and can't seem to stop it plus the boiler has broken so no heating or hot water at the moment, it's such a nightmare. I am also starting to swell a bit more which is making me anxious, bp and urine ok but the midwife is going to see me every week now because I am worrying about it. Hope everyone else is having an ok day x

blizy I'm doing ok today, dh sorted me out. Fx this is your month. He sat down and took the reins of ttc off me. Asked when I thought I was due ov and then said ok we are going to try really hard this month, I've taken my vitimins. Maybe we shall start swi tomorrow and continue all week up to our weeding anniversary (next saturday). Bless him

spilt thanks.

fan Z will be 11 months tomorrow, the it will be the countdown to her birthday. How are you? That is a nice story about Ophelia's name.

Af is due on Monday and I am driving myself mad with bloody symptom spotting! I don't think this is the month though.

Hi all
blue hope your DD is on the mend.
fan so sorry you've been having a rougher patch. I won't patronise you by saying I understand because I've not been where you are. Just want to offer a hand to hold and say we're here to listen, and it's ok to be hurt and jealous, nobody minds xx
cheese the transfusions sound awful but great that the iron count is rising. When are they rechecking and what levels are they aiming for? Sounds like you are doing all the right things dietary and supplement wise.
angel that's crap about Ant's redundancy. Really hope he finds something soon. How much more mat leave are you hoping to have?

We have another batch of colds chez spilt. I'm not used to catching every bug that goes round, I'm hardly ever ill, but it just goes to show what tiredness does to your immune system. Poor Freya is utterly stuffed up again, snot everywhere and worn out. She's been screaming through the night which is totally out of character, she never cries in the night, just boob hunts drowsily and feeds back to sleep. Slurped the calpol off the spoon though!! mmm strawberry!

No one wants to buy our house. Or even blardy look at it Oh well, maybe I shall just go ahead and plant my broad beans and courgettes etc. Would be pissed off to hold off in case we move and then still be here in September having a sadly empty veg plot.

Thanks girlies, angel I have signed up to groupon, seams pretty good.

Fi would have been 9 months today, but also my hubbie and I have been together 5 years today, 5 years ago we met on our first date after talking to each other on a dating website for just over a week. We went to the cinema to see Pans Labyrith the lead character was the name inspiration for our daughters name.

Ok I ll keep boring you all!!! Massive FX for Fan, Blitzy & Blue xxxx
Fan sign up for groupon they e mail you daily with really cheap deals , if you re not already xx

cheese DH is running the Loch Ness marathon, so we will be travelling the east of scotland. I have a good friend who lives in aberdeenshire.

blizy I have everything crossed for you,

Fan- huge hugs for you. I really am praying for you and blue (and me)! Af is due on Mon, I just know the witch is going to come.

cheese I hope your ds is ok. The infusions sound really brutal, I hope you get some answers about delivery tomorrow.

whatever you can have a hug too.

angel I enjoy hearing about Pheobe, it gives me some hope to cling onto.

blue Poor ella, hope she gets well soon.

Hi to razz, shakey,august,mel, mia, too, dachs, split and anyone I have missed.

I'd love to visit Scotland, never been there. Whereabouts are you going?

I don't begrudge any of you, and please angel talk about your phoebs as much as u like I'm just in a dark place today.

We do have a trip planned for scotland in september, but nothing really this part of the year. As we have just moved in money is very tight.

I will look at ceap things to do.

Love to all

whatever I'm hoping it's nothing too, or something simple. Glad you're feeling more positive today, it's such a rollercoaster xx

fan hasn't really helped at all to be honest, the cannulas were horrible, on one of them he pierced through two veins (my own fault as I moved my hand) and got it in but when he flushed it it really burnt and was painful. It wasn't in properly and caused a huge lump and had to be resited :( Then the other hand clotted after the cannula from the previous iv so had to have more goes on that side. Bloody horrible. I felt the same before I was pregnant, it was hard hearing about other people when you're not but I also remembering feeling pleased for all of us that were. It's a hard ride and very up and down :( Really hoping it's your month xxx

blue fingers crossed, will you test early? I could never resist!

angel results for ds1 came back but the dr hasn't seen them yet, they check them after evening surgery according to the receptionist and she's left a note on his file to call me tonight to go over them. So nervous just waiting for the phone to ring