Angels and Rainbows - The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. But it can provide colour and hope.

fan I am 34 weeks tomorrow, off to pack my bag in a bit. I really wanted to tell that couple that I knew how bad they felt but couldn't. I wanted to make myself invisible, was very conscious that I am obviously pg.
cheese good luck, hope the consultant is just being thorough x
blizy I made a cake for ciaran's birthday and we released a balloon, it was nice, me and dh just spent the day together and family came round in the evening to cut his cake and blow out his candle. We plan to celebrate his birthday every year that way x
Good luck with work whatever, don't expect too much of yourself, just going in is a big step x

cheese good luck.

Off to hospital now, the consultant wanted me to go in. Will see what happens.

wtw I was the same when I went back to work, I think its because we don't expect it, its like life going back to normal like we were never pregnant but also that we were, the last we were there we were full of joy and now well we are numb and not the same. I broke down on my way into work the first day, I always thought the first time I would go back would be to introduce ophelia to everyone, but instead I have nothing. Don't try to hard, just let it happen naturally. You will be fine.

ciwi that's so sad, I would want to go and give them a hug and ask them about their baby. I remember all to well sitting in the hospital waiting for the car, holding on to my memory box watching everyone go by and thinking they all have know idea how much in pain I am in. How many weeks are you now. I packed my bag at 32 weeks.

blizy that's a lovely idea a birthday candle. I thinking of getting a tree of life tattoo, when I have the money.

razz hope you have a good scan today.

fan and blue fingers are firmly crossed for you both!

whatever Good luck with your boss, I am sure she will fine. Like someone said it would take a really horrid person not to be happy for you.

ciwi I hope you are ok? Im glasd you are being well looked after though.

fan I think I will get some stars added to my Zoe tattoo on her birthday. I will be bakiing a cake, dh and I will go to the crematorium with some balloons, I have bought a memorial/birthday card and I am going to buy a birthday candle which we will light every year on her birthday.

cheese I hope you get some answers today, thinking of you.x

Hi everyone,
fan a bfp would be the best valentines gift for both of you, fx you get it x
blue your symptoms sound very promising, fx for you too. I could never wait to test, am too impatient!
cheese glad your little one is managing to stay in a bit longer, I know how you feel about being torn between wanting her here and wanting her to cook a bit longer. The fear of history repeating itself is so intense but as my midwife said yesterday, this is a different pregnancy and what happened last time is so rare.
august hope the scan went ok and things are looking up with your dh. We have all been through the worst thing a couple ever has to go through and there will be times you just can't hold each other up x
angel hope ant gets the compensation he deserves x
whatever good luck telling your boss, mine was lovely and said she was hoping to hear that I was pg, hope yours is the same x
razz enjoy your 4d scan, we were going to get one but this little man always has his hands in front of his face so we thought it would probably be a waste.

I have had a bit of a stress myself lately, my blood pressure is creeping up and they found a trace of protein, sent me to day ward and did a bp profile which was not great but ok and the protein was gone in a repeat sample. I am going back in a week but they have said I can go in anytime I am worried and get checked. Am just worried that the pre eclampsia is starting, getting my hospital bag packed today just in case!
When we were waiting for a lift home from the hospital we saw a couple leave with a memory box :( it really brought it all back and I really felt for them, I have come a long way since that was me but knowing the pain they still have to go through made me really sad for them. Dh said he just wanted to tell them it will get better, so sad.

blue that does sound promising. I agree with the others try and stay away from the test till at least the weekend. When will af be due? I told DH that we are not allowed to buy any tests till im late. (lets see how long we can hold out)

wtw i think its a good idea to tell your boss whats going on, Im sure she will understand. They cant discriminate as we all know but then again we all know what a terrible time dachs had and is still having. FX it goes well for you. I went to my midwife appointments at NL and also saw my consultant at FCH in LH.

angel its unbelieveable what they will try and pull isnt it. I really hope it all works out and you get that holiday.

razz your DH sounds similar to mine, he would say a similar thing. And its that optimism that has helped me get through things. 4 D scans sound so special.

cheese hang in their sweetie, soon she will be here and this will all melt into the past. I know its a struggle to get there, and it seams like it never will. Waiting is never easy especially with all our history. I guess its the same for all you ladies in the last weeks.

blizy thinking of you, hows it going. Have your thought of how to mark Zoes day?

Im having a night in by myself, Im a bit knackered really (wonder why ) I might have an early night or at least tuck myself in bed with a book and hot chocolate. DH is out on the lash so I better get some sleep in now before he rolls in and starts snoring! Makes me laugh that I end up with the bads night sleep when he goes out, tomorrow we will both be falling asleep in front of the telly at about 8, him due to being out late and drinking and mine because Ive been telling him to roll over all night to stop him snoring! The tww starts now, I should be due AF the day before valentines day, so if all goes to plan I will be testing on the 14th. What a good valentines pressie that would be.

Razz hope your hubby got on ok today? Enjoy your 4D scan. Xxx
Too glad you re well.Ant's work don t officially owe him anything as he's only been there 14 months ( apart from 4 days AL) he recieved an e mail from the financial director today stating " they had offered him the money as a goodwill gesture" bollocks more like a sweetener. We ve got legal cover in our house insurance policy so we re ok there to pursue a case through a tribunal. The e mail stated there were no 2 options ; 1: to enter in to an appeal about the decision (ie; getting his job back) or entering in to negotiations re:settlement. Guess which we choose!!!!
Blue oh, I m so excited for you. Xxx
August hope alls ok with your scan?
Hi all hope everyone else is well.xxx
Oh & Cheese breathe.... Nearly there from someone who's been there breathe " 1 day at a time" xxx
Love to all xxxxx

LOL blue, why is it I get the feeling that you will cave and take the test Good luck x

Too yes indeed! although that Clearblue Digital that expired yesterday is calling out for me!

Oooh, Blue, sounds v promising! How long were you planning to wait until testing? Another week or so?

too he is sweet some times. Just got back from lunch time! Lol and he says to me sorry that the swi isn't that good! I told what are you talking about. He's worried that the sex was so quick and I didn't enjoy myself. Bless him.

Havnt had a chance to catch up on the threa will do tonight.

Waves to all

I'm CD25, 8DPO :)

I do tend to get signs very early on and negative tests, so I will have to wait before hopefully getting a positive...

fingers crossed blue
Mad isn't it when vomming makes you excited! Don't test, you need FMU anyway as it's early. How many days post ov are you now?

I threw up this morning :) couldn't have breakfast, just had and when I was getting dressed had to run to bathroom...
I would like to test, but I know it's way too early...

Too crossed posts, yes it's when it goes too low. I used to feel them and get shakey and feel really ill but I'm not feeling these at all which isn't good. Going to see where I'm at after lunch and take it from there. I was a bit higher after breakfast but not anywhere near what I usually am so something is up, they put it down to me being ill yesterday when I was in but I want to be sure. At least I'm being scanned on Friday again and seeing both consultants. They may well think that delivering quickly is a better idea after all this.

oh razz children have a way with words don't they ((hugs))

wtw bleurgh to the sickness, poor you, pg sickness is so miserable. Hope you're feeling a bit better now. I found keeping snacking helped, esp orange juice.

cheese hope the dau can advise on the sugars for you. What a lot of stress

Its a gorgeous sunny day here and I was supposed to be going to yoga but the car is kaput which is a right PITA. Think it has a flat battery so hopefully can get that sorted soon.

I told a new mum friend yesterday that we'd lost a baby before Freya, her sister. And I was very matter of fact about it. Sometimes it seems like I've become desensitized. Other times I want to rip people's heads off because they think it was something sad that happened in my past and all is fine now, grief is finished.

fanjo Ah even better then! Good luck for today too :o

whatever deep down I think it would probably be best for her to come out but the thought really scares me, I'm worried something will happen during labour if they want to induce me but I'm worried that she'll be so early too and probably need special care. That's still preferable to what happened last time but I find it hard to separate real and imagined risks now. Hope you feel better soon and that the sickness stops.

razz I really hope she's here with us soon, I keep half hoping I'll just go into labour or my waters will break to take away all of the uncertainty and choice from the matter! We had a 4d scan this time and it was really amazing, we have some lovely photos from it, I'm sure you'll love it :)

My ds2 (just turned 5) says similar at times, he says that we've nearly got this baby and we don't want her to die too. He also blows kisses to Scarlett in heaven and kisses my tummy too. I tell the dcs that the hospital are taking very good care of us and that should anything start to go wrong at all then they will deliver her right away. Dd1 worries a lot but she's a bit older (almost 10) and while I don't guarantee that everything will be fine I make sure they know I feel confident that she will be coming home and how good the care is. It's very difficult at times trying to balance it.

Fan, of all the swi! Your DH sounds so sweet.

Cheese, sorry for being thick, but what's a hypo? Is it when your blood sugar drops really low? I think you should call the MDAU and chase the diabetic nurse - you need to know what's going on.

Razz, good luck with the 4D scan! What your daughter said was so sad, but you're right, what else could you say? She just needed some reassurance.

Wtw, poor you being sick. Hope you feel better now.

Lol, it took me so long to type that I crossed posts with quite a few of you!!
Now even more envious of the seduction going on in the house of fans

Hello lovely ladies
too fantastic news about beans scan, you must feel so relieved and what a fab weight, excellent.
cheese I really do feel for you. What a time of it you have had and are still having. It really must feel like you are running against the wind all of the time. You are doing a fab job and your baby girl will be here very soon x
womanlytales welcome to the thread. As the others have said I too am sorry that you had to find us here but now that you are I hope we manage to offer you the support that you need. I lost my baby boy, Thomas, to a genetic condition last April also at 22 weeks. I am currently 29 weeks pregnant.
angel fingers and toes crossed that Ant gets a better payout and you get your holiday. My dh has an interview today so positive vibes much appreciated.
WTW I can understand your feelings about having the same mw. I have had many similar thoughts about this pregnancy, wanting everything to be so very different. Not wanting scans on the same day and so on. My dh sat me down and said it is not the day of the week that made things go wrong, it was always going to happen. So, I booked a private scan on the same week day at the same place that had given me the bad news about Thomas and all was well. Strange thing to do maybe??? This baby is due on the 20/04 and Thomas was born on the 21st. I have a section booked for the 30/03.
fan hope you had the fun you were planning on last night . My dh is not so keen at the moment which makes me sad in a strange way, just miss the closeness though he does cuddle me all the time.
august hope all is good tomorrow. Dh's can I think find it really hard. Mine still doesnt talk about this baby very much as his priority is that I am ok.

I have a 4d scan booked for friday, it will be the first scan dh has been with me for. My daughter said to me last night as I tucked her into bed "mummy, I really hope the baby is alright and that it won't die like Thomas" . It brought back to me that my dc have suffered the loss aswell and I felt dreadful as I was reassuring her that all would be well when I cant possibly no that.......I guess I just need to comfort her now, what else could I say??

Hope all is good in the house of blue, where are you in your cycle now?? Is it running similar to fans??