Angels and Rainbows - The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. But it can provide colour and hope.

Just a quick one to say too Im so excited for you and cant wait to hear your news. Bean will be here soon! Damn I counldnt get there to do your packing for you. lol

Also angel my mum told my HV when I was 6 weeks old to leave her alone, and took me to clinic to get weighed. She still states today that most dont have children themselves, and she says generally ignore what they tell you unless you are really concerned about your babies health.

I will catch up on all your posts tomorrow, Im pretty knackered, all this gardening is great but tiring!

Ok, am packed now. It is so bizarre. I have been mentioning Bean's every move aloud so I remember better when the last one was, which I hope will stop me panicking about reduced movements. In less than 12 hours we will be back in the hospital. I hope they will hook me up to a trace while we wait, so I can't freak out too much. In fact, am going to ask about that as soon as we arrive!

Cheese, could Ella have reflux? I hope she sleeps better tonight and lets you get some rest.

Blizy, that made me well up! I think I'm going to be in tears very quickly tomorrow - probably as soon as Bean cries if she cries, if she is okay.

Wtw, Mr Too will be updating as soon as possible! Assuming he gets internet reception on his phone in the hospital. We forgot to check today. Failing that, he gets chucked out for women's rest hour at 12.30 for 2 hours, so he will probably be able to find somewhere with signal during that time.

too I'm so excited for you and really looking forward to hearing about the arrival tomorrow!

Razz your numbers don't sound great to me, that's really quite low at times. Mine were going to about 3.1 at times which is a hypo and the concerning thing was that I couldn't feel it towards the end as my body got used to it and I was at risk of collapsing. They induced as I couldn't keep them up enough and were worried about the baby.

angel I don't see the HV at all after the initial home visits, I've always found them to be about as useful as a chocolate teapot and all have different opinions on everything anyway! I wouldn't worry about the weight in the slighest :)

Trying to keep up, mostly just able to read on my phone but posting from it when they're long posts is very difficult! Especially as I'm usually feeding Ella in the middle of the night whilst reading! She is very hard at nights now, she was awake literally all night long and dh took over at about 4.30am as I just needed to sleep by then. She's thrown up twice last night and today also so it's really confusing me at the moment knowing what to do.

Too- I am so excited for you! This time tomorrow you will snuggling your baby girl and Thea will be such a proud big sister! I hope you manage to rest tonight. I will be on here most of the day tomorrow eagerly awaiting for the big announcement.

Whatever another one with crappy HV experiences??! Xx not just me then??xx
Meant to say Razz I didn t know you had been a foster care. You have my full admiration it must be so difficult. Xxx

TOo I was first on the list too & with a little delay Phebs was born at 10;32 & I was back on the delivery suite eating toast & having a cuppa by 11.15. Best of luck ... Can t wait to hear you re cuddling your baby xxxxx oh, brings it all back !!!
Razz not just me who finds HV's a funny breed then??? 1 week left eek!!! Fab... Again, I m so excited for you . Hope your sugars don t dip/ increase too much in the next week.
Love to everyone else xxxx

Eek...eek...eek! Am all hyper and scared now. I've been in for my second injection, blood tests and signed my consent form, so it's all systems go for tomorrow! I am first on the list, emergencies aside, so with luck it should all be over by 10am. I then blotted my copybook somewhat by nearly fainting while shopping - wound up sitting on a bench in the big shopping centre trying not to pass out while DH ran into Boots to get me some water. Not sure whether it was the injection, nerves, heat or tiredness. I slept between 11 and 3 last night, intermittently, and then was wide awake, put the light back on and read until 6.30 and eventually went back to sleep between 7 and 8, when I had to get up for my appt. I decided not to go back to the hospital because Bean was jumping lots and I felt much better when I got outside into the fresh air.

I am not packed yet...DH is rummaging in the nursery and I think he's sorting out things like the number of nappies we have. I shall get on with it soon!

Blizy, glad you're feeling better today. That's one of the bits of news that is always going to be really hard to put a brave face on.

Wtw, that poor mother today! There are so many people out there who have suffered such a loss, and you would never know. When I came back to work after Thea, no fewer than 5 people told me they had also been through a stillbirth, not to mention all the stories of people they knew who'd suffered that or something similar, like cot death.

Razz, just one more week to go! Hope your sugars go up to the 5-7 range and stay there.

Right, I suppose I'd better get on with packing! And call my mum for the third time today to keep her calm. Might not tell her about the dizzy incident, come to think of it.

angel I fostered for 5 years and HAD to endure h/v for the entire time. It was mainly quite an unpleasent experience. I think that we no our own children best and usually have a gut instinct about things so you go with that. I think things/advice in the land of the h/v have gone mad!!!!
too you brave girl, the steroids really stung me and I promise Im not usually a wimp!! Sending you love and all the best wishes in the world for tomorrow. Cant wait to read your news
wtw great news about your nuchal results, one less thing to worry about.
blizy sorry to read about your rough day yesterday. You are bound to feel like you did. Glad dh was there for you and you feel a little better today.
cheese my sugars keep dropping to the low 3's and I have been told to try to aim to keep them between 5 and 7. Still having the odd spike of 9 when I dont think I should have!!! Oh well, only 1 week left to get through!!!

Bluzy glad you feel a little better xxxx
Mia thanks. Don t think we ll be going back. Every time we go we see a different HV , they never introduce theirselves. However, yesterday we saw 2 staff: 1 staff nurse,1 HV again only 1 introduced herself.weighed Phebs ,she's 18lb,11 oz. She's on the 98 th centile & because she's jumped up 2 centiles... They were in a state of panic!!!saying " she's taking in more calories than she needs".Read in to thar what you will!!! So basically they re saying she's overweight at 20 weeks ffs!!!
She's still within the normal range. As I advised them she never finishes a bottle , sleeps 8-10 hours per night & Isn t even having the full amount she could have.
They have advised feeding her 4 hourly as opposed to intermittent feeding!!! Want me to re-attend in 4 weeks for her to be re-weighed but after giving it some thought & talking it over I m not taking her back. My appt is tge week before I return to work & I cab think of better places to go. My beautiful baby is perfect she is smiling, laughing, talking , maintaining eye contact & thriving. Yet, they re in a state of panic she's not overweight nor will be as we re watch out for her weight but come on get a grip!!
Why not focus on the families who neglect their children or abuse them or I'll treat them not me who does everything correctly attends every appt etc..,
Mia I m with you & your friend . I win t ve going back the HV s have been shit from the start & I ve given them so many chances but bugger that now. Tge practice nurse does her injections so I ve no need to see them.
Rant over!!!!
Hope everyone's well?
Too last day.so excited for you xxxx

I want to thank you all for yesterday, I don't know what came over me! I feel so much better today after a sob dh shoulder and a sleep.

too im glad the injection didn't hurt, - 2 more sleeps eeek! How are you?

tricle No such thing as "tempting fate", if you are happy knitting I say carry on. I hope the sre start craft thing goes well for you.

I hope all the little rainbows are well.

and too, glad the injections didn't hurt!!

whatever so glad to hear that news!

angel shall be intrigued as to what you say about HV. If it helps, please know that you are in no way obliged to visit them. I never took Mia along, as I had been loaned some baby scales, and that was all I checked. (Her heart infection was something very rare, and could never have been picked up by an HV anyway.) But I remember a friend becoming very stressed by the HV pressurising her, saying her baby was underweight and to support BF with formula, which she didn't think was required.

trickle I think that is good news? Can't quite tell from your post. Just hope the classes at the creche aren't too challenging emotionally for you.

blizy hope you are feeling a little better. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Trickle think you ve got me confused with someone else as Ant & I are ok. Plodding on through crap but ok!! Thanks for your concern anyhow!!!xx
Too glad all went well. They re fine aren t they? Wow 2 days , well, nearly 1 ... So close xxxx
Blizy xxxx
Went to HV but she really pissed me off!!! I ll post tomorrow as no doubt I ll post an essay!!
Xxxx

Angel I really hope this is the start of you and DP being abel to talk together, me and DH have been through a few cycles of getting into a rut and treating each other less well than we should do. 10 years ago it would end in a screaming row to get us back to equilibrium, these days we seem to manage to have an honest chat without getting defensive - I'm still more than a little amazed about that.

too and Vicky sooo excited xxx

blizy don't know what to say, don't be ashamed no ones judging you at all, it's how you feel - you don't 'get over' this (that's awful, I've had some bloody horrible things said to me since Sproglet but that's nasty). You learn to live with it day by day.

I had two sure start ladies visit yesterday, they are going to see if I can have my home start volunteer early as I'm officially 'vunerable and isolated' nice... not! Nevermind there is a craft group at the local sure start center they've invited me to, I'll probably be the only person without a child in the creche but hopefully it'll be ok. I know it's far too early - but I've started knitting baby clothes, they are so easy and quick to make I just worry it might seem a bit strange at 13 weeks - ever the optemist I'm making mostly 6 month+ stuff, as I've already got loads of newborn and I won't have time to make anything in September by then. I just worry I'm tempting fate

Oh Blizy. You don't have anything to be ashamed of!

Angel, you were right, it didn't hurt! I'm all excited now - feels like things have started to happen. Next injection tomorrow plus the pre-op stuff. Hope Phoebe's weigh-in went well. 20 weeks already, wow!

Wtw, phew for the Down's results!

Fan, I wish you could pop round and pack my bag for me! My idea for packing is to chuck in as much stuff as possible, which may not be the best policy this time. I need DH to be able to find things for me!

Blizy I didn t see your posts but (()) xxxx
Too you ll be fine. They din t hurt xx
Whatever good news xxxx
Cheese think Spilt is right think after wr ve experienced such a horrible loss it's just such a sense of relief when your baby is here that I think that overrides any depression. Xxx

(((blizy)))

I have reported my posts, I am ashamed of them so I want them removed.

Good luck too, hope the jabs are ok. Nice and quick at least I guess.

cheese no babyblues here either which I was a bit surprised by as something like 90% get them. I guess I was just sooooo relieved she was here ok and I could breathe a massive sigh of relief that the pg was over.

blizy you poor love, you must be heartbroken that it's your sister and not you. I'm so sorry xxx So sorry they don't "get it" either. Of course you aren't over Zoe, and tbh I doubt you'd ever even want to be. She's your DD forever.

blizy oh poor you. I think that if you didn't feel a tiny bit jealous, then you would be up for some sort of sainthood!! And if anyone ever tries to tell me that I should be 'over' losing Mia, even if it is in twenty years' time, I think I will flatten them...

Oh Blizy sweetheart, that must be so hard to deal with. Big hugs, my love - you will be pg soon. I find it so hard to deal with the idea that we should be over it by now - wtf? In some ways I don't think you ever get over losing a baby.

Off to the hospital for the first jab in 20 mins - hope it doesn't hurt!

Too you re be fine ... Nearly there. The steroid injections are totally fine xxx
Fan meeting was boring, boring, boring as they are!!! I came back confused!!! Used to be able to have 2 extra A or Bs!!! However, now it's only of each : bummer. That used to cover my milk,cereal & bread fir lunch ( quite often have beans on toast, boiled eggs with toast) but now has to count my bread as a syn. What a pain??
So , here we go again!!! I m sticking to " extra easy" for now. Good luck. My SW leader texted Morrisons are selling chocolate philedelphia , mix with Quark & have with scran bran : whatever that is?? So I m off to try it.
Blizy so sorry. When my sister get pg 2 months after ttc ( I love her to death) I too felt a little jealous that it was all so easy however, she did mc a month later.not telling you this for anyothet reason other than I know where you re coming from(ie: I m not saying that's what ll happen to your sister) Stacey Soloman also caught smoking when pg why??? Don t these people have a clue what others go through to get where they are???!!
Take care , wallow for now if it helps xx
Hi all; hope everyone's well?
Phebs at HV today to be weighed , that ll ve interesting!!! Talk to her about weaning now. Phebs now 20 weeks can t believe it , time really is flying.xxx
Special hugs for Blizy it's shit ??!xxxx