Age gap between babies - what to aim for and how to achieve it??

duh have forgotten it was 2 years 9 months between the first two... and got pregnant that 2nd time without trying, 3rd was more planned though

In terms of making life easier for yourself then probably a 4 or 5 year gap is best but then they'd not have similar interests. We had mediuum gaps. 2 yrs 3 months between ds1 and dd and then 3 yrs 4 months between dd and ds2. It seems to work OK although dd is still quite difficult with the 'terrible 3's' at times. I feel though this way that I was able to devote more one-one time with the children than I would have with a smaller gap. I have long stretches of no periods when breastfeeding so this seems to be my natural way of conceiving (very fertile when the periods do return).

Also sort of planned it so that we'd have Spring/Summer babies as I couldn't cope in the winter with a baby!

plan is to wait until ds1 in school and ds2 in nursery before having another 2 close together but know knows what will happen! hope i got emoticon right this time!

studies seem to suggest that less than 2 years or more than 4 years is the best gap for your child but i dont know if there is anything in that? I have a 17 month gap between my bos and it has been great, no jealousy and they adore each other (most of the time). [smie]

I have 11 month between my 2 boys. v v v v v v v hard work! but they are now 13mths and 24mths and really playing together. seems to be getting much better now and truly pleased i went through the terrible time i did!

however an 11mth age gap is not something id recommend initially!!!

I'm planning to start trying when my DD is about three years old. Took three months to conceive DD (13 weeks old now) so if the same thing happened, that would give me a minimum of a four year gap.
My reasoning being that there is a gap of three and a half years between me and my eldest sister and five years between my youngest. Growing up we had the usual fights etc but mostly it was great, and we were very very close as kids.
I want to be able to dedicate my full attention to my DD's baby / toddler years, and have her old enough to understand a new family member, to be a little independant and not feel as confused as she may be if she was a baby / toddler. I feel as if I would be able to cope better with this than two under two.
Plus I had a terrible pregnancy with DD, found it such a struggle to stay awake at times, and really don't think I'd cope with being pregnant and looking after a young baby / toddler! I do have a lot of awe for those who have babies close together because I know I would struggle doing it myself.

I had no idea what would be the best age gap until we experienced it. I have 18 months between my dd's. Very hard work at the beginning, because at 18 months they still arent very independent, not at nursery etc and you also have a new born baby. But despite the work its been great. They are so close in age that they now play together (youngest is 19 months), dd1 wasnt old enough to understand or be jealous and she now (3 1/2) doesnt remember life before her sister arrived. Having 2 girls close in age helps with the toy situation, didnt plan it to well for clothes, one born in summer, the other in winter. Not sure if we will have a 3rd or not, personally dont think I could cope with 3 under 3. Also great for days out etc as they are so close in age chances are they will like the same thing.

Also, a lot of my friends have just had 2nd babies with a 3+ years age gap, not all but a lot of them had some quite nasty jealousy issues with the older child.

Ragtaggle - mine are 15 months apart, now 5&6. It was very hard in the early days /months, but great now. I did find it hard, (which is why we waited 5 years to try for no3), but it got so much easier, and they are very close.
Hang on in there, it's early days for you, but it will get better.

DD1 is 17 1/2 months, DD2 is due on Saturday! Had wanted a gap of less than 2 years between them as it took 9 months ttc for DD1, of course the VERY first attempt at ttc no 2 I fell pregnant!! Like hotmama I know it's going to be hard but love the idea of two little girls so close in age. Think we will wait a little longer before ttc no 3 though.

Ragtaggle

I have a 20 month gap. I found it really, really hard at first but they are now 2 and 4 and it's great. I am done with nappies, high chairs, daytime naps etc. and they really play well together.

Wishing you luck!

Dd1 is 15 months and dd2 is due in 3 weeks. Perhaps closer than I originally anticipated but I am nearly 39 so had to get cracking - if I was younger then may have left a little longer.

I have been lucky and got pregnant the first month I tried with both pregnancies.

I'm sure it is going to be really hard for the first year - but will be worth it especially as they are both going to be the same sex - according to other mners! I'll let you know....

I have an age gap of exactly two years and at the moment it's a nightmare.

Dd 1 is 2.2 and my son is two months. My dd is very jealous and confused about the new arrival but not quite old enough for me to explain what he's doing here and how much I still love her etc. They are both in nappies so I'm knee deep in them at the moment and being at home with both is utterly exhausting. Emotionally it's very draining as I feel like I'm always neglecting one of them. I don't feel like I'm spending enough time with my dd and like I'm having a guilty affair with my son - have to steal smiles and coo over him when my jealous daughter isn't watching. She is constantly being sent to her room for biting and hitting him while I'm also trying to not make him the enemy!

I didn't aim for this age gap - I thought it would take much longer to get pregnant and was hoping for about two and a half to three years. But it's very early days and I'm hoping it will pay off in the long run- would love to think that one day they will be close. Don't want to hijack the thread but reassurances from anyone with a similar age gap but older childrenwould be welcome!

I have 13 months between my two. It wasn't planned but has turned out to be a fantastic age gap. They are so close that they are like twins. If I was ever to have anymore (which is not what I am planning) then I would do the same thing again. Have two very close together.

we have 3 years 5 months between ds & dd. it's worked brilliantly, they entertain each other pretty well (dd is 6 months now), & ds has been very grown up & sensible. the gap wasn't what we'd intended (it took 6 weeks to conceive ds, but a year for dd) but has worked out really well.

Well it took me until DS was 2 and a half to persuade DH that we should have another. Luckily for me I fell pregnant immediately so I have the same age gap as Twiglett and Aloha. And yes DS was potty trained and sleeping through the night but then he was when I got pregnant - possibly the reason for DH agreeing.

We tried for 8 months with our first and decided that we would like a 3 year gap so we would start trying at 2. But 2 came and went and we never spoke about it. Then on 17th Jan 05 when dd was 2.6 we decided we would start trying - I found out I was pregnant on 26th Feb so we have a 3.3 gap.

Opposite to futurity, took a year 1st time, 1 month second time and have small age gap.

I would never have planned it that way but I love it now and am so glad I didn't get to plan it IYSWIM.

I obsessed about this but in the end you can't plan...first time round got pregnant 1st month of trying...second time it was 7 months so ended up with 3 year gap which has been really good.

Do what u want!
I had fertility drugs for my first child.
I was pregnant again when she was 3 months old!
and pregnant again when he was 3 months old!
don't plan too hard...it doesn't work out like that! (Mine were all very much wanted by the way!)just do what you feel is right for you---NOBODY else!!!

I wonder if you can really know what's the smallest age gap you can cope with, until it's too late. I mean if you - god forbid - ended up with two under one, you'd basically have to cope, would you not? (Incidentally, the mother of a friend of mine had twins second time out and so had three under one, I would personally have just left the country and never looked back).

Miaou - what age gap is there between dd2 and ds?

We would like a similar age gap between ds and no. 4 as we have between dd1 and dd2 (17 months), and we are ttc just now which would give us a gap of 14 months and will continue ttc for a few months yet. We may stop though if no.4 does not make an appearance after a certain (so far unspecified) time.

The first three were conceived very easily but I am still b/f ds so I suspect this one won't be as straightforward.

I wanted very small gap but it took a year to conceive ds2. Well, we conceived after 6 months but lost it at 9 weeks and then couldn't face it for a bit.

So now I realise that actually what I wanted was 2 beautiful healthy babies and that's what I got!