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Original poster

TTC/ pregnancy on Prednisolone or similar part 3

993 replies

freelancegirl · 22/11/2011 16:20

For those who are TTC/pregnant undergoing immunotherapy treatment. Current list as it stands, do feel free to come and join us, it's moving quickly round here!:

Tuesday 22nd November

TTC
Waiting to test
Snoopygirl - V High NKC TTC, will be Ist try with Pred, Intralipids on bfp Testing from 21/11
Havingkittens - Upgraded from High to V High NKC TTC #1 after 2 month break/testing 29 Nov -2 Dec depending on my resolve.
Waiting to ovulate
coleyoz - V High NKC. TTC #2 - ov 3 Dec (Pred and Intralipids at BFP)
duggs1976 - High/V High NKC - TTC #1 - Superovulation cycle1
batteryhen - High activation NKC, factor v leiden. TTC#1
Suemays - V High NKC TTC/ov 30th Oct. TTC#2.
Cherrycheeks - V high NKC, TTC#2/ ov 25th-26th Nov/ 4th cycle of pred
pureequeen - High NKC TTC #2 again from November (BFP cycle one but mc)
eurochick - TTC#1 awaiting first appointment (in Nov)/ov expected 28-30 Nov.
BFPSeeker

BFP
2nd Trimester
Stogan - V high NKC - BFP 9/7/11 cycle#2- 24+3 Due 10/03/12 next scan 30/12
Digitalgirl - High NKC - BFP cycle#2 -19+1 Due 16/04/12 anomaly scan 23/11
Coconutfeet - V High NKC, Factor II gene mutation, underactive thyroid - BFP pre-pred, started at 6 weeks ? 16+1 next scan 14/12
Comedy - V High NKC - BFP cycle#2 - 13+3 due 26/5/12 next scan 12/12
Iggi - High NKC & Hypothyroidism - BFP cycle#2 - 12+6 anomaly scan Jan

1st Trimester
BrownieGecko - High NKC, Hypothyroidism, & Glucose Intolerant. BFP on cycle 3 of Clomid - 11+4 next scan 28/11
Scooterchaser - V High NKC - BFP cycle1 - 8+1 Due 01/07/12. Scan 25/11
Freelance - V High NKC TTC#1 Hydroxchloroquine, Pred, Intralipids. Thyroid/hashimotos. MC 1st cycle. LMP18/10 - 4+6 - Scan 3/12
Arianhod - V High NKC, MTHFR homo, hypothyroid, TTC#2 BFP 2nd pred cycle LMP19/10. 4+5 Scan 7/12
Cheerfulcharlie - V High NKC, MTHFR/TTC 1/ (metformin, intralipids, no pred). LMP17/10(Ov'd 3rd Nov) 4+5 Scan 6/12.
ChoccyPud - V High NKC / TTC #1 BFP 4th Pred cycle LMP20/10 4+4. Scan 3/12.

OP posts:
suemays · 05/12/2011 13:35

Snoopy I think her kids are used to it by now! Her husband was embarrassed but we just thought it was funny. Its a bit of payback time as last time we were at their house I was so drunk I kept dropping my drinks and broke one of her best cocktail glasses! Her Dh is great at making cocktails so I blame him!

Free the wait for the 12 week scan was fast for me first time without the miscarriage threat as I thought only other unhealthy people experienced that! How stupid was I? I also went to Hong Kong for a family wedding at 10 weeks so I was advised I could fly so long as I kept hydrated and moved around the plane. I had just come off the pill and conceived straight away so thought the symptoms were from that, not pregnancy! In hindsight, if I had known about miscarriages etc I wouldnt have gone to Hong Kong and chanced the long distance flight. As I said earlier, there might not be a risk flying even with our deadly wombs but you might still blame yourself if another happened.

Choccy and Ari retail therapy always works for me too!!

cherrycheeks · 05/12/2011 13:33

Just catching up on the latest posts after rushing around all weekend with Christmas parties etc.

choccy and scooter I have been thinking of you both a lot in the past few days- your recent posts have brought a tears to my eyes. You're showing so much strength
ari I'm sorry to hear your news- sending lots of love. I hope that the acupuncture can sort things out so that you can avoid the ERPC.
lemon I'm with you on the pregnancy announcements. I'm surrounded by them! Even my hairdresser is due to have her baby at around the time I would have been due,hence the grey hairs creeping through for me!
sue I also wish I'd written in a diary about symptoms etc.. I've been in the 2WW so many times now I can hardly remember them all.
Sorry about the bfn this time duggs - following my appt with Dr S on the weekend I'm also going to try the super ovulation next cycle. I was reading your post about it in on the way to the NLC so I felt super informed about the super ovulation.
Good luck with testing this week coley battery and sue maybe there's still a chance of a bfp for you too?

Sorry to miss anyone- I'm also in the 2ww, not sure when I ovulated as I had smiley faces for a week and then stopped testingConfused I'm going to test on Friday I think, which will be 10 days after I started the pred. I'll try and find the list to update.

Arianrhod · 05/12/2011 13:32

ROFL! Way to go choccy, that's my kind of "inappropriate happiness"! I have just myself spent WAY too much on new Christmas decorations for our new house, and yet another present from Santa for my DD. She's going to end up with way too many toys this year but just like you, I'm thinking feck it.

ChoccyPud · 05/12/2011 13:28

Well I've just spent somewhere between the cost of a scan and the cost of intralipids on new clothes. Because frankly, feck it. Maybe this is what they mean by "inappropriate happiness"? Hmm

And you guys have reminded me I need more vitD3 and aspirin. Trip to H&B or Boots tomorrow then...

I'll just echo the comments and suggestions re testing that others have made. I think far better to get tested and put a game plan together than wonder, get pg, and have another mc, and wonder.

Original poster
freelancegirl · 05/12/2011 13:15

Hi Ari, Sue and Coley. Yes he said something similar to me about flying being ok at first. I wish I had asked him more about whether it was the flying or the fact he didn't want me to be too far away. I have just booked a follow up appointment for the next scan for 8am on Tuesday 13th, it will mean leaving home at about 6am to get there and also DH won't be able to come! So potentially bad news on my own, which is a scary prospect. Oh well, it's not a nice prospect either way is it? Intralipids pencilled in for straight afterwards just in case it is good news.

I don't envy you the DPO waiting Coley! It's all such a huge waiting game isn't it!

Sue can't believe you didn't realise you were pregnant with your daughter until 8 weeks! How lovely to have avoided all the early stages and not to have had to worry about NK cells back then.

I STILL haven't started any work today but I did come across this thread - it's us in a parrallel universe! I think BFPSeeker might be on there and maybe Hopeful - or is a different Hopeful? Shall we reach out and say hello...? We could join forces...

www.babyandbump.com/ttc-after-loss/713725-steroid-junkies-perfectly-unscientific-medical-trial.html

OP posts:
snoopygirl · 05/12/2011 13:14

sue
talk about confusing. I felt so sick on the pred last month was sure I was pregnant. you don't know what to believe do you?
Sounds like a funny party! Bet her kids were mortified!!

suemays · 05/12/2011 12:54

Hi Blue, if you can the money together for the NK testing it will put your mind at rest. If you dont and then have another miscarriage you might be thinking you should have done it. Anyway, what's £260 in the grand scheme of vitamins, ovulation kits, pregnancy tests and all the other costs!!!! I dread to think what I have spent already over the last 2 years! I also buy my Vit D3 from Holland and Barrett - they had them at half price recently.

I spoke to Louise at NLC earlier and she seems to think my bleeding was probably an early AF. The preds can mess about your cycles so she advised me to take them for another few days and do another test. I have just been on Amazon and ordered some more FRER double packs - much cheaper than everywhere else. Looks like DH and I will have to start BDing again in a couple of days just incase it was my AF as I dont want to miss another month. I am only wiping a stain away now so not even spotting. My friend told me that she remembers when I was pregnant with my daughter that I had a really bad cold and chest infection as I was moaning at the gym I felt so bad (just like now). I had implantation bleeding with her and didnt realise I was pregnant until 8 weeks as thought I had a light period. I wish I had written down more info on it now to compare. Maybe I had High killer cells back then but they were busy fighting the chest infection I had???

Battery I have been getting some twinges and sore boobs too but it could be too much food over the weekend! The preds also did that to me last month too so its impossible to symptom spot.

The Christening went well, my neighbour got absolutely plastered and a few ended back at our house after the pub. She kept falling on the floor and her kids were trying to help her up! Took my mind off everything!

Snoopy would be great if you could meet us but understand this is a busy time of year.

Free Louise said to me its more of a problem with the preds starting late if you have already got your BFP. I am just worried that taking too many will delay OV this month if I am not preggers. I am so confused with it all!

Waves to everyone else!

ColeyOz · 05/12/2011 12:32

Free - regarding the flying. I asked Dr S this in my first appointment and he says its fine up as long as you don't have any serious clotting disorders. He mentioned that I should just have Heparin before flying. I've booked a trip to Italy at the end of the year with the possibility of being pregnant but its only 1.5 hours so I'm not worried. What distance were you going to travel?

Ari - you sound really strong. Its really tough but having the scan on Wed will probably help you have some closure and move on.

Blue - I agree with Free that its always worth having the test to rule it out given your history. You have gone through a lot with your miscarriages which I'm so sorry about and I think any answers you can get are worth it.

Sue - it could be implantation bleeding at 9DPO so def test again in a few days. I have my fingers crossed for you:)

I'm 7DPO at the moment and wanted the next week to pass quickly so I can test! Gosh I hate all this waiting!

Waves to everyone.

Arianrhod · 05/12/2011 12:26

Welcome blue! I'm so very sorry to hear of your losses, the second trimester one especially must have been devastating. I can only second what the girls are saying - money is an issue for me too, but you know, if you don't do the testing you may always wonder if NK Cells might be your problem. I would definitely get the test done, if you can manage it.

Ditto to free, my Vit D3 is Boots own, and they have a 3 for 2 across their vitamins range, I stocked up on enough D3 to keep me going for years! Grin

Original poster
freelancegirl · 05/12/2011 12:10

Crossed posts with Snoopy - second that with Vit D 3. Mine is boots own.

OP posts:
Original poster
freelancegirl · 05/12/2011 12:09

Hi again Battery. Gosh am not doing well today in terms of getting on with work! I seem to have gone a bit pregnancy/mc/nk cells obsessed again. Trouble is there is nothing left for me to google! I've read it all!

Symptoms... yes I think I am pretty sure I know when I am getting pregnant now (obviously STAYING pregnant) is a different matter. Every symptom I have had was annoyingly occasional and still continues to be. Nothing consistent. I am not sure if those with successful pregnancies and children can tell us if that is normal? Twinges are a definite sign I think, I mean after ovulation if you are not pregnant did you ever get twinges? I don't think I ever did. I sympathise - 9DPO is very frustrating! When are you going to bite the bullet and test...? I didn't get a positive until 13/14DPO.

Blue, Battery has some good points I think. Unfortunately standard medical care (once you have ruled out the blood clotting etc) doesn't seem to have an answer for recurrent miscarriage. I am not saying that NK cells is definitely everyone's answer of course but it does provide an answer and a form of treatment for an increasing number of us.

OP posts:
snoopygirl · 05/12/2011 12:07

Hi blue,
Welcome to this thread. So sorry about your m/c's and the 2nd trimester loss that must have been truly awful for you.
I echo free in that I would try to find the money to at least rule it out. Then as you seem to have a compassionate Dr then maybe if there are high levels then maybe you could try to get the rest of the treatment on NHS? (Scans etc). Just a note the Vit D Dr S pescribed me was D3 which you can get in Holland and Barrett. Sorry don't know what the extra 3 bit is for? It's made by co called Sunrise I think.
Good luck with you decision.
x

batteryhen · 05/12/2011 12:02

love - hello and welcome back. free is right - I saw my local recurrent MC clinic who after my 3rd MC was basically at a loss and said to me 'it shouldn't have happened' - and there was no reason for it to.So I self referred to Mr S - yes the money is a nightmare but I thought if I only go and have the blood tests then as least I will know. I had my gp do a lot of the bloods first so when I went to see MR S I only had to have the bear minimum to keep costs down. xx
free Can I ask - did you get any symptoms with this pg? I am 9dpo today and had really sore boobs and twinges last night but nothing today.:(

Hi to everyone else xx Sorry my story yesterday made some cry xx

Original poster
freelancegirl · 05/12/2011 11:46

Blue! Lovely to see you here (Blue is a thread friend from when we went through mcs together). You are in the right place for advice on NK cells. We know all there is to know! And the rest we speculate and make it up, along with most of the professionals Grin

My personal findings would leave me to believe that NK cells could indeed cause later losses like the loss of your little boy at 20 weeks. I am not sure about whether this would show in the placenta or not though. I know that one case study in Dr Beer's book says that her placenta (at the end of a successful pregnancy) looked kind of ravaged and they thought that might have been down to immune issues.

I know there are others here like battery I think who have seen standard recurrent mc clinics like St Mary's who have been unable to do anything for them at all. In fact it seems to be a running theme, which is why we have all ended up at Mr S' door. Money is a big PITA but if I were you, I would try get the money together for the test, even if it is just to rule it out. You say your gut feeling is that it isn't NK cells, and I am a strong believer in gut feelings as this was what led me to think that for me it WAS NK cells. But IMO you will not rest easily if you don't test just in case. Glad they have put you on Vit D and aspirin. Feel free to ask away with any questions! And am sure the others might be able to add something valuable too. Everyone is so knowledgable!

Ari sorry you are bleeding properly today. I guess, as you said it is hopefully a good sign that your body is going to do it naturally this time. It's still very sad though. You are being so strong. At least on Wednesday you will know one way or another.

Now, how do we find some of Mr S' graduates? The trouble is with the ones on the website is that they are all those straightforward 'got treated, had a baby' stories and none of them mention miscarrying on the treatment. The reality is however that it might not be so rare to miscarry on the treatment but that people do go on to generally be successful. When I see him I might say it would be worth having those kind of success stories too.

OP posts:
iloveblue · 05/12/2011 11:27

Hello everyone

I posted on the older thread a while back but have been trying to take a step back from obsessing about it all since last mc in July.

My very brief history : late mc at 20 weeks in Oct 2010 (baby boy passed away at 17wks) - all tests, PM normal, followed by a natural mc at 7/8 wks in Feb 2011 (no symptoms/no scans) and then another natural mc at 9ish wks in July 2011 - had a few scans, sac grew and yolk sac spotted at one point but never developed.

Had tests down through my local RMC clinic - which were all normal.
My GP kindly referred me to see Professor Quenby in Coventry, who I saw on 7th Nov. She sent me off for lots more tests - some repeats but also TS3, TS4, Thyroid antibodies and Vit D. All normal again except Vit D which was slightly low (47 and should be 50). Am due to see Prof Q again on the 19th Dec - but not sure if its going to be worth the trip, not much else she can test for.

So - I'm now considering the NK cells route. Prof Q does a self-funded test for uNK cells which costs £260. We can't really afford it at the moment, but could get a small loan if needs be - I just have a gut feeling that its not NK cells.
Would it not have been evident from the baby we lost at 20 weeks and the placenta if it had been attacked by NK cells?? - we had a dating scan at 12 weeks which was normal.

I have asthma which was only diagnosed in Nov 2010 - just after we lost our first baby, but thinking about it I have had symptoms for years, and I know this can be related to immunological problems.
On the other hand, I've gone from not having a cold for ages to having two in the last three months.

I also have two healthy boys (aged 5 and 7) - had no problems at all with either pregnancy.

Prof Q said I was a 'mystery' - the fact that I've gone from being so good at pregnancy to being so bad.

I just don't know what to do next and am looking for advice.
Should I fork out for the NK cells test - even if its just to rule it out, or should we try again anyway. I'm now taking a supplement that includes Vit D and my local consultant suggested aspirin.
The other factor is my DH who has recently come off anti-depressants (Venlafaxine). I did some research earlier on in the year that showed that women on this particular anti-D were 110% more likely to mc - and it got me wondering if it could have been affecting DH's sperm.

Anyway, sorry for the waffling, thankyou for reading if you got this far. I think its just helpful for me to get it all written down - and I think I probably know what the next step should be.

I'm going to read the thread back now - I know there has been lots of sadness on here recently. xxx

xx

Arianrhod · 05/12/2011 11:25

Morning ladies -

You're right free, we could do with the testimony of some of Mr S's successes. It's only to be expected there will be some falling at the first hurdles, there are always other issues that may creep in causing MCs that have absolutely nothing to do with NK cells etc - just natural selection, for a start. We can't avoid those, unfortunately, just hope that the next one isn't subject to the same. By the law of averages, sooner or later a good egg is going to come along. That's what I'm telling myself, anyway! You free of course have already had your one MC on the treatment, so this one hopefully is that next good egg. Well I'm rooting for that, anyway! And cheerful, yours too!

I do take great comfort and inspiration from our 2nd-trimester ladies, hoping that we will all be joining their ranks before too much longer.

Proper bleeding here for me this morning - not lots, just average start-of-AF type stuff. shrug Oh well, it's what I expected. My scan is 1:30pm on Wed - in a way, a part of me hopes that enough comes out before then so that there's very little left to see. At least I can have hope then that it clears itself out reasonably quickly - my body does seem to hang on to its pregnancies unfortunately, but I'm determined I'm not going the ERPC route this time if I can help it. I've always wanted it over and done with as quickly as possible, but I've decided this time to hope that my body can do it by itself. With the aid of the acupuncturist, yes, but that's it. We'll see.

Hugs and /waves to everyone, hope you're all doing great this morning!

eurochick · 05/12/2011 11:13

battery that scan story made me feel like crying. How devastating.

sue that does sound like it could be implantation to me...

Hello to all!

snoopygirl · 05/12/2011 10:48

Morning all,

sorry have been absent had a very busy weekend of entertaining. My dinner Fri night went ok, main turned out great but pud too sweet, was like eating a melted milky bar on top of a biscuit..too much!! Had a good sat with family round and playing pin tail on donkey pass parcel etc with kids (all very retro)!

I have been fighting over computer with son and trying to read all the posts and keep up!!
Choccy so sorry for your m/c, thank god you have a lovely hubby to support you. Just gutted for you. Ari You too, so sorry you are convinced this one is over for you. Hope you can get support from Dr S and find out some more info to help than your local EPU. scooter you are so sweet in what you said about takin one for the team as it were, bless you I hope you are recovering ok and taking time to heal. Your snuggle up in bed on Sat sounded like the best thing you could do. x

duggs sorry about bfn, perhps like you say it was best because of your over ripe egg!
sue I would love to meet up on Sat, I'll let you know. I have to check something first though, just in process of making arrangements for weekend and catching up with people before going away at Christmas. How did the Christening go? How lovely. Interesting about your temp etc....watch this space on that one.

free so pleased for your great scan and more lovely furry hugs, it's becoming a bit of a habit with you! Roll on the 13th for the next great scan!

think I'll be Oving in next few days. that came round so quick. It's the 2ww which will drag but busy so hopefully that will keep mind off poas this time.

Sorry if I've missed anyone, waves/hugs to you all.x

Original poster
freelancegirl · 05/12/2011 10:01

Agh! There?s so much going on here and I want to reply to it all! It is all so bloody important to us and I devour every bit of it. Right, will have a go.

Choccy glad you were ok with my rant about me being rather ?switched off? about my second mc of the year. I remember saying it here at the time and I think Digi and others could relate a bit too. There are times we might all feel a bit hardened to the process as we have had to be to a certain extent haven?t we? I think I tried to put it behind me very quickly and move on to the next one. And here the next one is ? in full mentalling mode.

Ari, sorry it really does seem to be all over. I do hope you too can take some comfort in the fact it happened early this time. You are so strong, going about your business and making way for trampolines! What time is your scan on Weds? I agree about avoiding EPU, I feel like I can?t face it either. I have to go to the hospital for thyroid tests and am already dreading it.

Scooter, my heart breaks when I read the grief you are going through. I can imagine how you must have allowed yourself to get attached to this one, having seen it alive and well three times. I just don?t understand what the hell has happened! But this seems to have been the same experience others of you have had too, am I right? That it all seems alive and well and then suddenly something goes wrong. I am guessing that there was nothing you could do this time to save anything for testing, being that you had a natural mc at home? I wonder what Mr S will say when you see him. Have you any specific questions lined up? I am not sure NK cells can take a baby from fine to gone in a matter of hours like that either. Maybe there is something else? It?s such a nightmare as a lot of the time it is us and Dr Google against the world. I hope Mr S comes up with something else for you. Maybe it really is just the killer cells?

Thanks for the positive words too. I worry that those good stats ? the slimmer chances of things going wrong after seeing a heartbeat at 7-11 weeks ? are stats that unfortunately apply to other people. According to my LMP I will be 7 weeks tomorrow. The first baby of the year ? the one that was actually a baby there ? stopped growing at 7.3 so this week is going to be a particularly anxious week for me. I just keep thinking PLEASE WORK - DRUGS! I am so fed up of having been in the early stages of pregnancy or miscarrying for the whole of the bloody year I don?t think I could face trying all over again. I guess you can all relate to that in some way. I?ve been pregnant or miscarrying for the whole bloody year!

Oh Battery your experience with the last miscarriage sounds just devastating. Again to have successful scans and then it all go wrong at 12 weeks is just unspeakably awful. Is this before treatment? You can see it looks like a baby at that point can?t you. I remember my 12 week scan and it looked like a tiny little dead baby :(

Choccy and others. We are all allowed a meltdown on Tuesday! I was crying within moments of meeting Duggs the other day! If any group of people can relate to what we are all going through it?s us. So we are allowed a few tears. I hope we can get a nice table somewhere in a corner!

Oh Lemon, you poor thing. Do they know about your miscarriages? Is it her first baby? It is so very hard to take I know. We are here for hand holding, venting, everything. Like Choccy says, are you around in London tomorrow? Do join us. Breezy too, and anyone else for that matter. How many of us are there going to be now?

Sue I didn?t start on the Pred until 3DPO I think. It?s not an exact science so try not to worry about that bit. Bleeding and a temp rise is an interesting combination ? implantation? I have to admit I know sod all about implantation bleeding. Yes you are right about the flying, best to be aware that you have done all you can. I think we should get Digi to re-do the list, she is so much better at it than I am. Yes it is you and Battery that might be next on the list of BFPs I think.

Cheerful that is interesting what you say about the flying. I hadn?t heard it until the other day and I didn?t question Mr S further about whether it was the flying process or the distance away. I guess either way I might do well to avoid it this time too. With my first (non-treated) pregnancy of the year I flew around the world and back in the first few weeks! Sorry you are not going to be able to come home for Christmas. Are you going to travel after the first trimester presuming it all goes well? Kittens let us know what Mr S says about the flying. That would indeed be a nightmare for you and your situation with your mum.

The Cocoon House is wonderful right now. It sounds like the sort of place I want to go over Christmas now I probably can?t go home to see my parents in Spain or to get some sunshine further afield come New Year!

It is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster on here at the moment isn?t it? You know what we could do with? We could do with a few of Mr S? many (and there are indeed MANY) successes to come on here and talk us through it all a bit. We need support from the graduates! But the thing is they are all off happily looking after their babies. And good on them too. We have to bear it in mind though, that hundreds of success stories are out there. And look at the ladies on the 2nd trimester part of the list! We need to try to draw strength from that when we can. Hard as it is.

OP posts:
duggs1976 · 05/12/2011 08:25

I'd be up for that sue ! X

ChoccyPud · 05/12/2011 07:59

Lemon what appalling timing, that is so tough. I just found out my sil is having their second, due May. Actively not thinking about whether I will be able to cope with seeing them and their dd at Christmas. To be decided near the time...

Take comfort in the fact that you are taking steps to do something about getting there yourself. Unfortunately there are no guarantees but you will hopefully find out more soon and can put a plan of action together that will make you feel like you are in as much control as you can be at this stage.

Why don't you think about coming along tomorrow? PM Duggs for details.

suemays · 05/12/2011 00:33

Forgot to say Duggs Comedy and Snoopy (and anyone else who fancies a trip out) I am free next Sat 10th for an afternoon coffee if anyone can make it?
We could try to meet at the same place we arranged as before - the Royal Oak in Farnham Common for 2.30pm????

suemays · 05/12/2011 00:29

Scooter take time to grieve over the lost little one, we all completely understand how you feel - it's such an awful time. You are bound to feel more devastated this time after seeing the baby developing and letting your guard down but you will bounce back as you have done it before. It could just have been a chromosome problem with you this time so try not to obsess that you have another underlying problem (we all do that though).

Lemon at my daughters christening today were 2 close friends who would have been 4 weeks ahead of me from my last MC, another friend then told me she was 6 weeks pregnant! I now have 4 friends who are all pregnant plus 3 others who are TTC. I feel the same as you as it's so hard to put a fake smile on your face and try to be happy for them. I feel like I am constantly trying to chase a train I can never catch and everyone else is headed to some fantastic place I will never get to! I do believe our time will come eventually so long as we have the strength to keep going.

One of my friends said maybe the reason we are all going through this is because we are stronger than everyone else and that others wouldnt cope with it and keep going. I guess it speaks volumes that we are all chasing this dream and are prepared to keep putting up with the risk of more miscarriages. Don't forget ladies how strong we all are even though it doesn't feel like it at times.

Choccy I try and tell myself its just a heavy period when I see the pads etc. It helped me last time as I only got to about 6 weeks so I told myself I was having a long cycle, otherwise i used to obsess about the blood being a baby etc and tried to look for the foetus. Call it denial but it helped me get through it easier. My mum said that years ago thats how they used to view early miscarriages. You only went to the docs after missing 2 periods so if you bled before then it was not looked on as a miscarriage but just a heavy period. I think the emotional attachment is the worst part as all your hopes and dreams are dashed in one go. If we didnt have the early pregnancy tests it might make it easier on us as we might not even know it had happened.

free how would you feel if you did fly and then miscarried? Would you blame yourself as I know I would??? I also dont think you came across as being harsh about miscarriages. Sometimes I think we need to hear the truth rather than being told what we want to hear. At least we have all been in the same situation so we can be honest with each other. Sorry to hear about your 2 friends who died in the bike accident, hope today was not too emotional for you.

Battery you will feel sad on New Years Eve then. Maybe you should light a candle or something as a reminder? NYE is always an emotional time anyway. I remember last NYE we were at a friends party and everyone was hugging and all happy and DH and I were standing in one corner in tears. We thought that 2010 was behind us and that 2011 would be better (little did we know). Lets hope that 2012 will be the year for all of us.

Ari I think you are doing the right thing by seeing Dr S for a scan. He might see something that a normal sonographer wont which could help his treatment plan next time for you. So sorry that you are sure this one has ended for you but I think you knew all along.

Iggi I forgot to say in my last post about the doppler but it helps if you hold your breath for a while. My friend had to do that with hers everytime! Hope it works.

Duggs glad to hear your AF has come (in one way). Lets hope that you hatch a good egg next time and it will be the right one. Enjoy the cocoon house!

I got a BFN this morning at 11DPO. I am spotting now, only a tiny bit of pink when I wipe so I have only lightly bled for just over a day with 3 days of spotting. My temp shot back up again this morning too but I dont want to read too much into it. I am hoping its not an eptopic pregnancy if anything - here I go again worrying and its probably just a light period! I am going to test again on Wed but already worrying if I am preg as I didnt start taking the preds until 5DPO.

scooterchaser · 04/12/2011 22:20

lemon announcements are so tough, feel for you and when due dates match it just makes your heart sink because you know it's a significant date on someone elses calendar now and a constant reminder for you. My best friend was induced last week on my November due date (Baby 4). I will always remember feeling pregnancy symptoms when she showed me the two lines on her test and imagining our DC being best friends. Does your SIL know about your experience? Are you close enough to let her know? Sometimes people can be more sensitive than you expect. I talked about my mcs with my brother today for the first time, a real surprise how understanding he was. Hugs for you x

battery I cried reading your story. Perhaps the scans statistics are not all that accurate and this sort of thing is a bit more common with us immuno bunnies. I had started to think I wasn't really in the right place and searching for different answers but hearing from you and cheerful has been a strange comfort, just in shared experience (although I know I was earlier in weeks and am grateful for that small mercy). I think I remember duggs you had an equally horrifying scan experience. battery so heartbreaking what your DP said, their pain is so hard too. Sometimes it is important to write it down and remember, I can really relate to that feeling of sobbing like you are totally out of control.

choccy I also didn't realise how high my hopes were, we think we protect ourselves and dare not be too positive but I think being on the treatment let's hope creep in more than we anticipate. DH and I also still reeling from why it couldn't be different this time. It's so confusing. Let's hope Dr S can answer some questions for both of us. Do you have an appointment with him yet? They say about 6-8weeks for mine. Big RL hug coming your way on Tues.

ari thinking of you constantly, it's so hard to have all the signs and it feel so familiar but having to wait to know for sure. This is my second Christmas in a row like this too, it's tough.

Agree we need some good news now.
Feel like I brought down the house of cards a bit this week. Things had been looking so hopeful.

Havingkittens · 04/12/2011 22:07

I've not had a proper chance to catch up today as I've been at work and so only able to skim read on my phone. I just wanted to post quickly about the subject of air travel. The consultant I saw at Mr S's NHS clinic said it was perfectly fine to fly until 36 weeks and that as long as I was cautious about DVT, ie. getting up for a walk around every couple of hours there shouldn't be a problem. I will ask again when I see Mr S this week but I really hope he concurs as I am going to be doing a lot of flying back and forth to France for the foreseeable future - albeit short journeys. It's costing me a fortune as it is, the train costs 2-3 times as much and takes twice as long.