How likely is it to get bfp in first ttc cycle?

Hi all, bit of a newbie so excuse me if language not quite right etc! I have one DD who was v happy accident after a mc.
have been "messing about" for quite a while, ie. not exactly trying but not always being careful. Started actually trying end of Sept. this year I know that is hardly any time but it feels like forver, my cycle is v irregular and I have had 2 periods since this time, going by last month I am now 5 days late but going by previous month am only 1 day overdue. Took test today and neg-gutted! Just wanted to share as I am in mid 20s and although really I know it can take years, suppose i thought would just happen easily again.
good luck to all ttc!

Thanks for all your kind messages, and sorry for derailing this thread
op. I was feeling extremely sorry for myself on tues!!

jemima so sorry about the MCs as well, same thing has happened to us, twice in 7 months, just about to start the journey again!!

highlove indeed, I wish I could give up work and just TTC but I think that might actually tip me over the edge

wine i am going to take a look at your thread!!

Here's to loads of lovely babies for us all in 2012

farfallarocks - sending huge hugs to you. I (kind of) know how you feel.
DS came along very easily (2nd month) and we have been trying for another for a while now and everyone i know is pg with their 2nd and i am happy for them but it breaks my heart a little bit. There's no 'fairness' in it all is there xxxx

DD1 - 8 months FTC
DC2 - 1st month (miscarriage)
DS1 - 1st month
DC3 - 1st month (miscarriage)
Ds2 - accident

There seems like a common theme emerging: you simply never can tell your luck. PLUS - and no one else seems to have mentioned this - the luck of your sperm donor DH/DP/OH (or whatever circumstances you are in).

I imagine some women are doing everything under the sun to make themselves healthy and fertile but if the white stuff isn't any good, what can you do? That's just bad luck too.

As my luck was in first time round (conceived cycle 2, aged 37, v healthy pregnancy and home birth) and Lady Luck seems to have deserted me (roughly 1 year of trying for DC2, aged 39) I'm in an odd position. What I would say is my heart goes out to everyone who's having a hard, protracted time TTC and really feel the pain for lots of posters. And also - it is stressful and if there's any way to avoid that (ie - expect it to take a year and be pleasantly surprised if it doesn't) then try to stick with that approach.

Good luck and big hugs to all of those here who are feeling

I totally agree that trying longer is not "having more fun trying" and I think you are spot on that after the third attempt it gets progressively more miserable and you get progressively more obsessed with it and it consumes your thoughts and your life and is not in the slightest bit fun at all.

I second that farfall enforced shagging when you've done a 15 hour day and have to be up again at 5, which you know probably won't work anyway, isn't fun. Neither is having your whole life consumed by it and becoming, as others say, a shell of the fun person you used to be. Or enduring dildo cam on a weekly basis.

I'm jealous of the very fertile people here.

Very best of luck OP; hope it happens v soon for you.

DS1 I got pregnant in the 6th cycle - and it was already no fun and I was upset and stressed. That was 6 cycles of really TTC, we'd been pretty laissez faire for several months beforehand, so it felt more like 9 months+ to us. We officially put it on hold for a while as I was so disappointed, and it happened that month. I'd only just turned 24 when we first started properly, I never thought it would take me that long at that age.

This time I got one period post DS1, we had sex once (we were both travelling a lot that month) long after I thought I'd have ovulated, and we got very, very lucky. That month I'd written off completely, we were going to start TTC the month after. I was expecting it to take at least 6 months again.

With ds1 we only had sex once the first month of ttc and I got pregnant at 34. This time I'm 38 and we've completed two cycles of ttc and zilch so far and we've had a fair amount of sex. You just can never tell!

It completely depends - we (naively) thought it would happen v quickly for us but 2yrs+ and one round of IVF we're still not there! Don't let it take over your sex lives - ttc quickly becomes incredibly trying if it's all you're focusing on. Just enjoy it!

Farfallarocks and whereismywine, I completely hear you!!!

farfalla i totally share your pain.

We have been ttc for 21 months. We have been pregnant twice but miscarried both times.

First time took 11 months (soul destroyng)
Second time took 0 months (fell pregnant 2 weeks after mc)
Thought we had cracked it! BUT 7 cycles on and still no BFP.

I am incredibly jealous of you ladies who get healthy babies in a couple of months of trying. Seem to know a lot of these in real life too (grrrr).

Maybe when it does happen we will even more appreciative?

Good luck OP with the ttc and i hope it doesn'r take long (i would not wish this lengthy ttc misery to anyone).

farfalla I could have written that post, I feel exactly the same way and I'm in the same position with friends. I think, there are plenty of us about, we are just a bit invisible in real life. To most people who I haven't confided in, me and dh look like a couple that may or may not be planning on a family. I've been shocked recently to find out that a friend has got pregnant after 2 years and on 2nd ivf attempt. I had no idea. I thought that as a couple they weren't into kids at all ( and that she had become very down and distant of late). So, you aren't by any means alone. And it is rubbish. Do join us on the 10+ months thread if you want to chat to people in the same boat, we are very friendly

Can I 2nd/3rd/4th the fact that trying much beyond the 3rd month is not at all fun?

I too feel like a shadow of my former self, I used be a fun and relaxed person. 11 months in and I am weeping mess, consumed by TTC, its the first and last thing I think about in bed, it KILLS me that everyone I know gets pregnant first time or without even trying. I feels like its all some big joke that I don't get. My friends are mostly pregnant or have small baby and so our lives are just very different and I feel a bit left out.

A friend of mine who now has IVF children is looking through old diaries at the moment and sent me this excerpt:
"How can it still be soul destroying? 22nd disappointment shouldn't hurt this much in every possible way."
She got pregnant with an FET the next month. I recall that she looked like an empty shell of her former bubbly self at the time. Those of you that manage it quickly don't think you are missing out on anything good from having to try for longer.

Hello,

Been to see my acupuncturist tonight and we were talking about how more and more people IVF, I think as time goes on (future generations) it's going to get harder and harder, lots of factors such as plastics, the pill etc... very sad...

I'm 12 months on after trying, I wouldn't say it's not fun anymore, I just don't particularly feel like we are trying now, and I know AF is always on her way...

I've read that the average time it takes is 6 months and most people I know seem to manage it within 4 months, so there is a good chance that you won't have to wait too long to get your BFP, OP. But, it does take some of us much longer and usually there is no way of knowing if this is a case until you start trying.

I understand that trying might seem like fun and I did find it exciting for the first few months but honestly there is no fun in it when you are looking at your 18th cycle of SWI 3 times a week with no results. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Good luck to everyone trying.

ds1 - 3 months, ds2&3 one hit wonders i had ovulation pain after ds1 was born so knew what day was a good day to go for it.

Both DC planned. Both in late thirties/early forties. Both conceived in one cycle. DH bit miffed that the ttc bit was all over so quick! (No offence meant to people who have been ttc for a long time)

DH and I are very aware of how lucky we are, but both our beautiful DD and this pregnancy were conceived first cycle. We were very relaxed about it both times as both times we thought it would take ages if it happened at all due to our ages, with DD i was 36 at conception, he was 49, with this baby i am 38 he is 51.

I find it quite difficult to talk about as i have friends who have been/are struggling and it feels a bit like rubbing it in.

I used the ovulation tests straight away with this baby as i am still breastfeeding and wasnt sure of ovulation...i just bought the cheap ones and they clearly worked a treat.

I thought the first month of trying was fun. After my period came, it stopped feeling like fun and now twelve months on - I am still no closer to being pregnant. I'm 34, was 33 when began and am about to be 35. Friends my age have been more lucky and conceived within 3-6 cycles. You just never know - its one of the few things we have no control over. I hope you don't have to wait too long x

Absolutely eurochick - given it took us over 60 months, that's more 'fun' trying than anyone can endure I think!

I second that Moss. The first couple of months there is a sense of adventure and it's all a bit special. That wears off very fast!