Feeling annoyed when sister mentions "she might just have another baby"

OP - could I suggest there might be a reason for your DSis mentioning her plans - it could be that she's heard what a shock and hard it is for woman in your sistuation to hear of others who are pg, so she's trying (in a clunky way) to prep you so that news that she's pg in 6months or so time won't be as much of a shock as you'll be expecting it?

Bloody hell some nasty people around this morning! I could see myself ending up in similar situation, am 26 and no children - 2mcs and 1 dd born too soon. I have no man atm, not sure how people are supposed to "start early" - go out and find anyold man who agrees to have weans?! Or is the Liz Jones method the way to go?

Some people have no idea......what about those who don't find a partner till they are 30? Or who then try for 5 blooody years with no luck before the doc will do any referral........and then have to do all the IVF stuff??? which amy then fail......
Os should we all go out at 20 and grab any old bloke off the street????

OP - I am not being thread police here but maybe ask to get this moved to conception because AIBU is not the place for this. The nasty, bitchy psychics might not follow you there.

It is entirely understandable to feel annoyed.
it is unreasonable to resent your sister's fertility , but you can't help the way you feel.Feelings come unbidden and are opften unreasonable.

Maybe she did. I have several friends that started TTC in their 20s and kept trying for years.

Ooh another psychic poster. How exciting!

FGS, if you were so desperate to have two children, you'd have started in your 20s. That you planned so badly is not your sister's fault. Sick of people bitching at younger (read: normal aged) mothers for not being rich when it's obviously just as irresponsible to wait until late 30s to have children.

lelainapierce WTF?

In which post did the OP explain how long they'd been trying for her 4yo or a second child? I obviously missed the psychic newsflash that you got.

There must be another section of MN where the OP can find people to talk to who will understand how she feels. Can someone point in the right direction?

I think it's a little bit inconsiderate of your sister, although it depends on circumstances. Most people, like Paint, wouldn't want to hear about miscarriages in great detail when they were pregnant. On the other side of the coin, women going through miscarriages and IVF really don't want to hear about other people's pregnancies/pregnancy plans.

OP, is your sister usually supportive about your IVF attempts and happy to let you vent? If she is, then it seems reasonable that you have to listen to what's going on in her life. If she isn't, then that's a bit different.

fuck me - I hardly ever raise my head over the AIBU parapet but lelainapierce has made me a bit too cross for this early on a sunday. I hope you apologise for that nasty thing you said.

I am in a similar situation to you. 40, one 4 year old due to IVF, a failed FET. We can not even begin to afford to try again. It hurts...it really really hurts.....and the failed cycle which was in Feb still makes me cry when I think about it..like now.
I hate people telling me to count my blessings....like I don't know how lucky I am....interestingly it is the three friends who have also had IVF who DON'T ever say that. When people talk about just having another maybe, it gets me so angry and upset because I can't.
You need to allow yourself time to grieve for the children you will/may not now have. It is perfectly Ok to feel angry, upset and frustrated. Yes your sister. friends and every one else is entitled to plan their families and talk about them and get excited...but there is no reason why they should expect you, so close to having failed cycles, to find it easy to be excited for them right now.
My youngest sister is 12 years younger than me, just married and just starting to plan children. Of course I am pleased for her and really hope all works as she wants...does not stop me crying because I can't plan and won't have more.
MAybe you ned a chat with your sister. Explain how you are excited that she wants more and you will get a new niece/nephew, but right now you need her to be a tiny bit sensitive and try to see how you feel. If you had a failed cycle ths week I am impressed you are even able to mention the word baby!
Sending hugs (((()))))

lelainapierce how nasty! like others have said you do not have a clue about the op fertility history and are making general sweeping assumptions.

blimmin eck lelainapierce, that is a really horrid thing to say

PaintYouByNumbers - your friend told you the baby she had miscarried had actually been twins and you say you don't want to know? I hope she has other "friends" to talk to?

Raspberry you have every right to feel the way you do. My goodness I certainly felt it after 5 years of non conceiving and MC. With this one I started to bleed at 10 weeks, thought oh no here we go again. Why do some people have it so easy. Never say never. There is a lady on the conception board who at 42/43 is now 30 weeks pg with her first dc after years of infertility and MC. My mum is another one too, she was 42 when she had me. My friend who is 49, has a 6 year old dc and 4 year old.

That's nasty, lelainapierce, we have no idea why the OP is having problems or for how long she's been trying.

You knew leaving it so late to have dcs would risk infertility, if it had been that important to you, you would have tried earlier. You have no right to be pissed off with your dsis, shes done nothing wrong.