Feeling annoyed when sister mentions "she might just have another baby"

Wow paintyou how lucky she must be to have you as a friend. God forbid that her miscarriages make you feel uncomfortable

wibbly and lelain do you have any idea how unfair and inappropriate your comments are?

OP I'm sorry you've had such a hard time. I think it's probably the flippant way that some people talk about planning their family which grates. If only it was that easy.

agree with this:

You need to find it in your heart to be more generous towards her I think. It is not her fault that you are going through this, it is not her fault she is 10 years younger than you and she should be able to talk to her sister about adding to her family. If you think she is being deliberately insensitive, that's another matter entirely.

raspberry report your post and I hope they will help

Raspberry, if you report your own post to MNHQ and ask them to move the thread, I'm sure they will oblige.

Infertility is painful and its understandable if you feel jelous of your sister.

It is not always easy to plan when you have your children. A lot of it is luck.

I think you need to talk to your sister to tell her how her talking about babies is making you feel.

paintyoubynumbers I sincerely hope your friend has some better friends she can rely on.

wibbly and Lelainapierce you should be ashamed of yourselves.

YANBU for feeling sad about your situation which I appreciate is very painful and you're not BU for wishing your sister wouldn't be so flippant about it but YABU for expecting her to read your mind. She probably is so wrapped up in it that she's totally forgotten. I don't know your sister (or you) but I'm sure she would be upset to know she is hurting you. Have a word or two with her. Make it light and short and let her know how you feel.

Ooh, my first deleted message.
raspberry no surprise that you feel like that. Use MN as a sounding board. However,given the ill informed responses of those with psychic powers, you may find it helpful to get this thread moved from AIBU

OP, please disregard the comments from the two fuckwits, their views are certainly not representative of the sane, compassionate majority.

I'm not surprised it cuts do deep. I'm sure I would feel the same. Maybe part of the reason she is thinking about trying again so quickly is because of the problems you've had. She knows only to well it's not always that easy.

Love it when people post nasty shit and then fuck off

Op i have just had my 5th baby at 44 i have had chemo and shouldnt have been able to concieve at all but i did and it took 3 years so dont give up hope.
You are not rational when having fertilty probs,i felt hatefull towards other pregnant women which i knew wasnt right but i was so sad me and dh met too late to have a child.
Just have a respense for your sister.When i had mc a few years back,people took great delight in telling me they "carried well" they had one child or that they got pregnant in the blink of an eye. How do they know that with only one child?
Best of luck.

Infertility can strike in childhood too if the child has an illness which makes them infertile or difficult to conceive later on. What if the op waited to have a child, her circumstances may not have been such when she was younger, to bring up a child and therefore would be highly irresponsible. My goodness the 2 Witches of Eastwick

WibblyBibble and Lelainapierce wow! Two nasty people with no empathy or life experience on one thread. Maybe you ladies should meet up? You sound as if you were made for each other.

Wibblybibble how disgusting of you. I hope that you never suffer the sadness of infertility, it can happen anytime, even to younger people you know . Yes get the thread moved to conception, they are lovely there and there will be no nasty psychic posters

Is there some sort of twat klaxon that goes off when a sensitive thread appears on AIBU? Are you nasty people unable to moderate your tone according to subject, or is it all just a big pile on to show off how 'straight talking' you are? You weirdos.

Raspberryjam I couldn't read these posts and not say congratulations for the incredibly mature way you are ignoring some of the posters. You're obviously able to focus on the positive which is brilliant and your sister is lucky to have you. You're going through a very rough time and her comments probably do sound insensitive, however unintentional they are. I hope baby two comes through for you x

Raspberry - I think I can see where you are coming from.

It's not the fact that your sister wants another baby, it's the way her casual comments are making it seem so easy when you know it's not always like that.

I lost two babies in second tri before I had my son, our first son was stillborn and our daughter was premature and died shortly after her birth. At times I struggled to understand how something that happened so easily for other people involved so much pain and grief for me.

I always tried not to show it, but sometimes it was easy for me to listen to pregnancy talk and sometimes it was anything but easy. When BIL and SIL kept their fourth pregnancy from me I was very upset though.

And when I was using the baby loss support forum on another site this same issue kept cropping up, why is it so easy for other people, why don't some of them realise how lucky they are, why is it so hard for me to be happy for her?

I would love another baby but we have made the decision not to try and I think it's the right one. We absolutely could not cope with another loss. We lost both our babies in the space of eleven months and when our daughter died I was so ill that I almost died too. My third pregnancy was complicated, I had to have a lot of medical intervention to ensure my son was not at risk of premature birth and we still had the unexplained stillbirth risk hanging over us so there were no guarantees. Labour was long and complicated and it took me a long time to recover and it stirred up a lot of memories and grief.

But sometimes I still do think "but what if..." and wish it was as easy for us as it seems to be for a lot of people.

And I don't think you are wrong to find it hard to listen to your sister making plans as though having a second baby is the easiest thing in the world to do. You would be wrong to treat her badly because of it, but it doesn't sound like you are doing that to me.

lelainapierce - you have no idea what you are talking about, there is nothing to suggest the OP left anything late through choice. IVF can be a long battle that starts at a young age. You owe the OP an apology.

YANBU. If people know your situation they should be more tactful, and not flippant about the subject. You can support your sister but she should be supportive in return and not just ignore how her comments might make you feel.

You are not selfish at all in wanting to have another child, and it's not up to others to tell you to "count your blessings" or cheer up or why didn't you start sooner? These comments are always from people who never had any problems having children.