Waiting to try to conceive

Bloody hell I just realised that if DH had given in to my TTC whims when I first got the baby bug, we could have a 2 year old by now!

AuntieMaggie welcome to the thread! Your catalogue of concerns certainly put my worries about my job security into perspective. How does your DP feel about it all? Is he sorry to have to wait, or is it good timing for him as he's a bit younger?

We're all scared shitless of pg and labour, so you're in good company here! I can't believe you never found the thread before now, it's been very helpful to me over the years.

Crazychemist I've read that women can subconsciously but deliberately forget pills when they are really broody. I certainly found after years of dutifully taking them like clockwork, I was suddenly making mistakes and missing them. I certainly wasn't intentionally "forgetting". I quit the pill in the end because I was feeling so sad about having to take a pill every day to prevent the very thing I wanted most. Four years is a very long time to wait, particularly when you're only 24 - time seems to pass quicker as you get older, generally speaking. It's good to start planning it early, so you both have plenty of time to come round to the idea. I wish I'd started putting the idea to DH a bit sooner!

Hello ladies :)

I've been on MN for years but have only just found this thread.

I'm 35, my DP is 5 years younger than me and we're waiting to ttc mainly because I have some health issues including PCOS which mean I will need help conceiving and I'm trying to lose weight so that can happen.

I always thought I'd be a mum by now, but it took me a long time to find the right man and when I did life threw me a curveball in the form of needing major surgery and various other illnesses.

I will need special care during my pregnancy to make sure nothing goes wrong with my other conditions (which I don't want to go into detail about as it will out me to anyone in RL) and the whole pregnancy/labour bit scares me especially as it has to be planned and not spontaneous.

So here I am...

I'm worried how the hell we're going to afford it as we both have debt and are rubbish with money. When my health and I was low I spent a lot of money on clothes and things to try and make me feel better.

I also tend to be a bit of a workaholic and want a promotion this year so don't know how that's going to fit in!

So there it is....

buttons it's definetly nice to know I'm not the only insane one! Our stories do sound scarily similar. My DD is 14 months old as well! It's really weird this.time around, all the planning and preparations. Can't imagine how different it'll be with 2. Never thought I'd be longing for the summer break to end!

Hi everyone,

It seemed a lot of skulkers were coming out of the woodwork so I thought I'd do the same.

I feel a little silly as I'm only 24 and it would be an absolute disaster if I was pregnant, but it's all I can think about! Before this year, I was never broody and I didn't really understand what all the fuss was about. I'm really lucky though - my fiance caught me snooping on this board and was really understanding about it, if somewhat surprised. On the other hand he did say he really can't see us being in a position to TTC until we're both 28.... he's being totally reasonable, and I know he's right, but all I can think is FOUR YEARS?!?!?!?!

I'm a little bit worried that my subconscious may be intereferring as well - I've NEVER been bad about taking the pill on time, and now virtually every month I'm missing one because I forget to take it with me somewhere. Has anyone else found themselves doing that?

Sorry for the rant, have been needing to get this out of my system a while and there's nobody I can talk to about this.

Discowomb I've never known anyone it's worked for either! In terms of my maternity pay, I'll qualify if I've been there 12 months by the 11th week before EDD, so I have to wait till June to TTC. It's the only good reason to keep waiting now.

MrsBugsy no you just need a normal check up to make sure you don't have any gum disease. Smears can be done during pg but any abnormalities might have to wait for treatment. Rubella may need a booster.

Thanks pink, and sorry you had the AF upset.

Bugsy, it's worth getting the doc to check your rubella immunity because in some people it doesn't last even if they had it at school. Smears can be done during pregnancy. It's the woman's choice really. I'm on early repeats so chose to wait until after the birth. Think I'm due one actually.

I've never known anyone with the post pill fertility surge. It took my body four months to even produce a normal cycle last time, hence having ditched it in January.

How funny that we all have the same idea with regards to getting pg then graduating sparkly and bugsey. I have a 14 month DS and graduate next May. Also had a gap year after my first year for my surprise little boy, so your descriptions sounding scarily like mine sparkly Glad Im not the only one insane enough to be trying so soon.

Thanks for the tips leftwing hadn't thought about dental check up. very jealous of the lift in your flat! That will be a massive help and removes the biggest worries of living in a flat with a baby.

Fingers crossed for consultant disco hope all goes well.

No baby here. AF got me and after being pretty upset for a morning I was relieved and determined to be alot more careful until September. only 4 more months of patch to go. I can surely control my hormones for that long!

Bugsey I took a gap year out last time I was pregnant (was unplanned), however this year at uni, while being harder than without a kid, it's been easier than I was expecting! My pregnancy last time was a very easy one, apart from low energy, so fingers crossed for the same! It's a 3 year course, just finishing of my second year, starting my final year in September!

So exciting your doing your masters, what's it in if you don't mind me asking?

Thanks for the tips leftwing. It hadn't actually occurred to me that you should go to the doctors for any kind of checkup, but thinking about it, it has probably been a couple of years since I had a smear. Will they still be able to do it if there is even a small chance you could already be pregnant?

Rubella should be fine I think as I was vaccinated against it at school.

Do you need to specifically tell the dentists you are planning to TTC soon? I had a regular check up not long ago.

Thanks for the welcome back! Lots of new names on the thread, which is great but I think it's going to take some time to catch up and work out who everyone is!

We are also in a 2 bed flat but we have a lift and dont really make much use of the second bedroom. There are communal gardens but it's not the same as your own back garden. Still not to worry!

In terms of pre-TTC prep, come off the pill (or not if you want to try for the fertility surge), dental checkup (gums soften in pg), smear test, rubella antibody test, folic acid, cut down on caffeine, enjoy lots of indulgences you will have to forego while pg.

leftwing, surely if you qualify in two month's time, you will definitely qualify in 9 months' time (if you were to get pregnant straight away). If that's the case, I can't really see a reason to hold back.

I admire those of you studying. My friend had a baby last year, before the final year of her degree. She's coping wonderfully, but I just couldn't do it myself.

Two days until my consultant appointment...

sparkly that sounds brave! Are you on a three year course? What was it like last time, being at Uni pregnant and/or with a baby?

Leftwing your reason # 3 sounds like a good reason to wait a few months, but the others....DP and I both work in the public sector and really either or both of our jobs could disappear. But I think if you wait just in case that happens, then you could wait forever. Not sure what to suggest about your DH, but him taking a relaxed attitude to contraception sounds like a good sign.

DP and have been together for a long time, since our early 20's. We both definitely never wanted kids. Then as I hit my 30's and friends started having kids, I started to change my mind, and one night I drunkenly just came out told him I wanted to have a baby at some point, and luckily he agreed straight away. I've got no idea really whether he secretly started to want one too, or whether he just doesn't mind either way. His mind is still a mystery to me sometimes.

Welcome back leftwing. Sorry to hear you've had a tough time of the waiting recently but it's good to see you back. I was beginning to think I was one of the only ones left from the last thread! Great to hear your DH's FoF has waned a little too.

Getting really frustrated with waiting now to be honest. The goal of DH setting up his business was for him to work less without taking a drop in earnings. The reality is he's working just as much, if not more than before. We hoped to get the ball rolling with our plans to move after February but he's just too busy to even think about it right now. And he's booked up until October at least so it shows no signs of slowing down.

I don't know why I'm surprised really, he's been dragging his heels with regards to moving for a long time now. I'm beginning to get the feeling it's deliberate as once we move the last reason to put off TTC will have disappeared. Grrr

Bugsey, we must both be mad! So excited for September though! I've got a doctors appointment on Wednesday to discuss coming of some medication and the pill. Been working out what equipment we would need, luckily as it'll be number 2 we've got quite a lot of it already. Can't believe this time next year I'll hopefully be pregant, preparing for my final exams before graduation and have a 2 year old running about (oh and my part time job and volunteering), haha life will be even more crazy.

Hi everyone! Nice to see this thread is still going because I'm still waiting! There are now 3 things keeping us from getting started: (1) concerns about how long my job will last; (2) DH's Fear of Fatherhood; and (3) I'm not eligible for enhanced maternity pay for another two months.

After descending to such a depth of despair over ttc that i had to leave this thread and name change (I am the OP btw) we've suddenly got to the point where I can see a little tiny chink of light at the end of the tunnel. In terms of contraception we are in about the same place as LtheWife, so DH's FoF is clearly not nearly as debilitating as it once was.

It's nice to be back.

Using devices/piss sticks/temping can drive you a little bit crazy, so I would always recommend at least a couple of months of simply shagging first, TBH. If you do it at least every couple of days from after the end of your period, you should get there, assuming you have "normal" 28-30 day cycles with ovulation in the middle.

My next move would always be temping, because it worked for me to get DD1, and because you can using temping to (in theory) discover you are pregnant without the need to pee on a stick right away. I would swear by fertilityfriend.com

Most people I know who have used the clearblue fertility monitor have done so only after trying for a while without success, partly because it's so expensive and partly because it can drive you a bit mental so be warned .

Thanks for the vitamins reminder, I should really get some. I just took pregnancy vits from TTC onwards last time. No real brand preference, although i seem to remember some people having issues with pregnacare. They didn't bother me though.

As this gets closer, I'm starting to panic about whether I can really cope with two children!

I've started taking folic acid, just Superdrug's own brand

However I sometimes take Berocca, if I feel like I might be coming down with a cold or have a hangover, and noticed that contains folic acid too.

If going for a ovulation testing stick is clear blue digital necessarily expensive? It seems a lot even reduced on amazon.

Hiya,

yeah I want to get my cycle sorted so will see if I can come off pill before wedding but dont want a bleed on the day or on honeymoon!

What is the best pre-preg vit? Open discussion!

this will be #1 for me too, but I think you are supposed to start on folic acid three months before you start to try (or to not not try!)

are you on the pill? If so maybe come off sooner rather than later, as some people's cycles seem to take a while to get back to normal

Hello Ladies,

I have been scirting around this forum for a few years and now I am four months from Actively Trying! My other half is very traditional and doesnt want us to start trying until after our 'I Do's' in August this year. Its been a long way off for a long time and now I am so excited to get started.

Any advice on what I should be doing now etc? Any mums out there waiting to try for no. 2 have advice?

Sparkly and buttons, maybe the three of us will end up on a 'pregnant and studying' thread of our own, wondering what on earth we were all thinking!

If I conceived right now, I would be due one month after I finish my Masters. So I figure the last couple of months would be awkward, but it wouldn't be a disaster.