Waiting to try to conceive

mumbai with the new job to keep you occupied the time will fly by!

sparkly I'm also feeling that mixture of excitement and fear, but like others have said I actually wish I was "accidentally" pg now. I suppose mainly because it would take some of the "but what if...?" out of the equation. It would cost us a bit though if I don't manage to hold out till June for the maternity package. It's easy to think "who cares?" now but I know I'll be kicking myself down the line when I have to go back to work earlier and leave my LO.

Dances I agree with the others. You should leave it just a little bit longer before TTC. It's tough having a new baby in the family and I think it must help if there's a lot of goodwill between you built up over time. DH and I have been together for 8 years. Our relationship is happy and settled but it didn't get that way overnight. Having said that I know people who are very happily married with many happy years under their belts who got pg very early on in their relationships - and it's worked out really well, so you never know.

Another one agreeing it's probably too soon here. We had out first child after 10 years together, five years with a joint mortgage and three years of marriage. We know each other inside out, and have a strong relationship, but it was still bloody hard becoming parents! It's a huge test of a relationship. And having a family is very restrictive. If you are both really serious about wanting kids, why not spend the next year doing all the things you want to do for yourselves, and then start TTC?

My extra month wait is getting easier to swallow seeing as period still hasn't started at day 37. Maybe it will be the next cycle after all! And no, I'm not already pregnant.

Dances I agree with Bugsy. 5 months to me seems very soon, you'll still be in the blissful, head over heels in love stage, and won't have had time yet to take off the rose tinted glasses! A lot can change after that period, when you learn what its like to live with each other, each other annoyances etc. I have been with my DH for almost 9 years, been married for 3 and have a 14 month old! Things can be challenging at times, but we've had the chance to learn how to live together before the stress of a baby thankfully, as it was hard enough as it was!

I'd wait you've been together a least. I know how hard it is when you are soooo broody. What is your partners thoughts? How old are you, as if the clock is ticking loudly then it may be worth just going for it, but if you are under 35, I'd wait. Have fun together, get to know each other, how to get along not just when things are great, but when you are both at your worst to, as that will be what you need to be able to handle when you have a baby!

sapphire that sounds like a good plan to me, June's not far off and you could end up with a lovely spring baby which always seems like the ideal time to me.

dances I have been with DP for 12 years. IMHO 5 months is probably too soon. Are you living together yet? In my past relationships there's always come a point in the relationship when we've got past the initial head over heels in love stage, and started to realise each other's faults, and whether or not we can live with each other. For me that's been around a year to 18 months into the relationship, but for you it might be different.

Also don't you think it would be nice for you to have some romantic times together as just a couple, before you have kids?

I guess it depends how old you are too - if you are in your mid thirties or over, maybe throw caution to the wind. If not then I'd give it around a year.

Also what does your DP think (if you've discussed it with him)?

How long have people been with their DP before ttc?

I've been with DP only 5 months, but pretty sure this is It as it were, plus a weekend with his nephew and being auntie Dances has made me extra broody.

I know I want us to be settled down a bit more first, but how soon does the panel think is too soon?

Thanks for your thoughts. We've decided to delay until June, by that time I'll have been in the job 2 months. All round I think it is better that way, adn if it doesn't happen straight away, then we've only lost 2 months ground - not 6-12 months IYSWIM. I feel more comfortable about it this way - I know I shouldn't care what my employer will think, but I am one of those people who hates letting people down. I'd be worrying about telling them, so I think this way it is better for my health too.

Bugsy I sometimes hope I'm pregnant already, even though it'd be awfull timing! Sounds really strange I know but everytime AF comes I feel really sad and disappointed. At the same time I'm petrified if I am!

Sounds like looking around after maternity leave could be a plan, I guess it depends on how long you want off and.how soon you want to be working. I'll only be having 3 months, one I won't get maternity pay, but also it's taken me long enough to get to where I can start on my career, and I really struggled with the first 6 months last time.

freckly that's really good news that your husband is ok. Must be hard to get used to not TTC for a little while.

sparkly and buttons I feel the same as you, wavering between broodiness and panic. I have moments where I hope I am somehow pregnant already, and other moments where i am absolutely terrified in case I am. This summer is going to be quite stressful enough with work as it is.

Freckly glad to hear your DH is ok. Sorry to hear your TTC plans are being put on hold though. Looking on the bright side I suppose it does give you time to get a better job, people seem to get stuck in their job while they are pregnant and have small babies, so it would be good to be somewhere you are happy to stay for a while.

I had a meeting with my supervisor at Uni and he said that I should aim to complete my dissertation by December. Once I finish my course I'd really like to change career, to something related to what I'm studying. But I have a nice permanent, family friendly, low paid, dull, job at the moment, and would probably be moving into an area where pretty much everyone works on temporary contracts. I suppose the best thing would be to have a baby, have a year's maternity leave, then start to look around?

Ladies, sorry have been hiding out and not been on MN.

Thigns have been so stressful- HUbbies cancer scare was negative so thats a relief but his business is no where near kicking off and earning, so we have had a zillion rows and looks like my baby plans for this Dec are beign moved to 2013/14.

Am so upset but ive sort of processed it in my mind now. So, i applied for a better job too since im going to be working more now than id thought, i should move to something better for my career. Ugh .

still very depressing and things v v tense with me and DH.

Good luck to you all ladies xx

Buttons Glad I'm not the only one feeling like that! A couple of times I've lain in bed worrying if its fair on DH and my little girl, and can feel guilty. Broodyness is driving me crazy lol so excited though.

So exciting Disco thats great news you can start ttc in a month x

Bugsy I am 22 so no rush from that side of things, currently studying for a healthcare degree, and not many jobs around at the moment. Our plan is to have DC2 and then our family will be complete (until i get broody again in a few yrs time) so I can focus on my career.

mumbaisapphire I would go on your gut feeling really. I think you have to think you're very lucky if get pregnant on first month of trying but still prepare just incase you do. If that's feasible and all would be ok if you did get pregnant straight away then that's brilliant. I wouldn't worry about your new boss being angry you've got to do what's best for you! Would definitely be careful with regards to stress though :) sounds like quite an exciting time for you!

Sorry you have to wait another month disco but is that a definite start date in May?! How exciting!

Sparkly feeling exactly the same so excited to start TTC and my DS having a brother or sister but still terrified about coping, also feeling a bit guilty for feeling so desperate for another baby when I am so lucky having a gorgeous little boy already. Bloody hormones! What am I going to be like when do finally get pg!

Disco Thank you, it went ok, as we're waiting till september the doctor has started 'weaning' me off my meds, that way we can see how I go without them, good news is if I can'tcope, there are a few other meds I can take that are ok in pregnancy. This is my last month on the pill and I'm now on folic acid as Dr told me to start taking it already! So scary and exciting to actually be doing something, even if its not actually ttc yet! Anyone one else excited to start ttc, but at the same time terrified if they are doing the right thing, how they'll cope etc? Got a wave of feelings atm!

I would leave it a month or so to gauge how thing are going with the job. Sounds like a good maternity package. Don't know about there, but here you don't have to tell employer until wk 25ish, so they'd probably feel you'd been there a while by the time they know anyway.

Bloody doc says I have to wait another month to TTC to get drugs out of system, so I'm here until at least May now. I had high hopes for April.

I'm not in the UK. I have to work 600 hours before qualifying for maternity pay (from the government), so that's about 4.5 months, and it is pretty good here - lasts for 35 weeks or something. So I kind of figure I've got nothing to lose, other than getting on with it, but take your point that maybe because of the first few weeks of starting a new job, I should leave it until June!

You will only qualify for statutory maternity pay if you are in post when you get pregnant. I'd wait another month for that reason. Also, the first few weeks in a new job can be very tough.

are there any rules at your new job about needing to have been there a certain amount of time to qualify for maternity leave?

I'm in a bit of a quandry. About to turn 35 in the next month or so, and for various reasons we've had to put off TTC for the last 2 years. However we are now in a good place with regard to TTC and I'm about to start a new job in a few weeks. We always said, as soon as I got a job, we'd start TTC. So now I have one.....I'm feeling a little guilty, and wondering if whether we should delay just by 2 months. I know, it is silly. I think part of me is worrying about what if I get pregnant first attempt? Is it going to piss my new employer off? But then again, we could TTC this month, and who knows how long it could take - there's only a slim chance it could happen first go right? What would you ladies do? I've been off the pill for years and we've just been using condoms, I've also been taking folic acid since January, so from a being ready point of view we're all set. I should just go for it right?

Good luck with your appointment Disco

leftwing only in the sense that we are having contraception-free sex! I suppose if I needed a booster I would have to have it when I had my period just to be sure.

By the way I do know a couple of women who got pregnant straight after coming off the pill. Both were in their early 30's and both were fairly shocked as they had assumed it would take longer. Although whether there was any kind of hormonal surge, or they were just naturally fertile, I don't know. Most of the people I know well enough to discuss it with, it has taken 6 months to a year, and one ended up having IVF.

Hope it went well Sparkley. I will be discussing the same with my consultant this afternoon.

Bugsey Arh that's interesting, I'm currently doing my degree within the social sciences. I'm 24 btw, DH is 28. Doctors today to talk about coming of meds, I'm excited, scared and nervous all in 1!

Gotta leave for it now!

Bugsy they won't do the rubella immunisation if there's any chance you might be pg, but they'll do the blood test. Is there a chance then? [nosy]

wow this thread is getting busy!

sparkly my masters is in the social sciences, I don't want to say the exact title in case I out myself. It's good to hear from you and buttons that the whole 'pregnant at uni' thing isn't necessarily a disaster. Do you mind if I ask you both how old you are?

Thanks all for the tip about getting a rubella booster.

I don't mind the idea of pregnancy, in fact I have romantic delusions of myself floating around in glamorous maternity dresses and being offered seats on the tube by kindly strangers. I am sure my illusions will be shattered in time. Labour on the other hand I find absolutely bloody terrifying. Whatever you do, don't read the childbirth threads. I did and I wish I had stayed away!

crazychemist I think this thread is the perfect place to rant, so our DP's don't think we're completely raving mad!

hello to everyone else!

Welcome auntie. I kind of get where you are coming from, having had to come of meds to TTC. It's a shame when you can't just relax and let it all happen, but the end product is still amazing. I had a highly managed pregnancy, finally got signed off for a birth centre in the late stages, the she went and came too soon, so I ended up on the labour ward with a highly managed birth too. All best plans and all that!. I hope when you finally get to TTC it happens quickly and that your pregnancy is so smooth it surprises you.

You are very fortunate there, it's usually the men who aren't so keen.

Thanks leftwingharpie

DP loves kids and is really broody at times so is sorry to have to wait.

Ironically I've always been crap at taking my pill but am now really good at it!