Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Waiting to try to conceive

839 replies

Amonstercooper · 14/10/2011 08:02

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

OP posts:
Evilwater · 23/10/2011 21:01

Thanks notthehippo.
Lw

notthehippopotamus · 23/10/2011 20:57

I'm sure deep down he does still want them then. Lots of us have little wobbles on the practicalities now and then, even though we are all besieged by broodiness, so it's not surprising that our men do too. Do you think he might even be relieved by an 'accident'? it can be hard to actually make the decision that now is a good time, and then it puts you under pressure for it to happen, but if it happened, it would probably turn out to be the best thing after all. Keeping my fingers crossed for you! Wink

Evilwater · 23/10/2011 20:51

I'm trying to stay positive! I'm just hoping he will snap out of it. When I first met him he wanted children, and I was the one who didn't. Now the reasons I didn't want kids are the same ones he is using.
In the mean time, I'm hoping for an accident.
Lw

leaky · 23/10/2011 20:48

Hi, hope you don't mind but I was just reading your thread & wanted to add something...

nenehooo when you look at your finances don't forget that when you have a baby you could be entitled to child tax credits depending on your salary.Have you looked on the inland revenue website? There is a tax credit calculator to help you see how much you can expect to receive.You can make up income & child date of birth to get an idea.

For us it's been fantastic having that as an extra income. I am a full time mum to 3 children & used to work as a nanny so I wouldn't want to work with children & then have mine looked after by someone else.

You must persuade him!! You might never have enough money, we don't, but I'm more than happy Smile

notthehippopotamus · 23/10/2011 20:44

Aw Evilwater you sound a bit down, I'm sorry. It's been a long slow process with my DH, and I don't think it's really anything I've said or done that's changed his mind. Which isn't much help to you as I can't say what to do to persuade him, but he has very gradually changed his thinking, so it does happen.

Good luck with the budgeting nenehoo - I haven't really dared to think about the costs, but I think working it out on paper always helps to make it more manageable in the end (even if your first reaction is to panic!).

Evilwater · 23/10/2011 20:31

I'm so envious of alot of you having your DP and h on side. I just wish my DP could see children as a positive thing. :(

Lw

nenehooo · 23/10/2011 20:29

In my experience, Summer borns do tend to struggle, but it really depends on the child. I'm Summer born and have always been regarded as 'bright' - just easily distracted! Wink
Am on a bit of a downer today as hubby is having a wobble about finances again. Says he feels pressured as he doesn't think we'll be able to cope on our salaries and that he wants us to be able to have a 'nice life' as well as having a baby. Also wants us to have the choice of me not returning to work... even though I think I probably would want to as I love my job, and was never considering being a stay at home Mum. I think we're just struggling a bit financially right now because we only moved in August, but I'm ever the optomist.
So I now have to do a new budget planner to work out what a baby will physically cost us. Wish me luck!

notthehippopotamus · 23/10/2011 20:24

Welcome EvaH. You're in good company - there are lots of us planning to start TTC around Christmas. I'm not keen on the idea of an August baby either, similar kinds of reasons, although my best friend is one and was fine at school so I think it probably depends a lot more on the child than anything else. Angelico I'm with you on not wasting maternity leave over the summer - from that point of view a Sept baby has to be the best!

We're mainly spring birthdays in my family so that would be my preference but I'm trying to be sensible and realise that we'll be lucky to conceive for any month so it's not worth worrying about it! :)

Evilwater · 23/10/2011 19:52

Angelico I'm glad to hear that you had a good time in school.
I'd love a march baby.

Does anyone have a preference for the month a baby is born?

Lw

Angelico · 23/10/2011 18:36

The undiagnosed learning difficulty thing is interesting though, although I would like to think Primary teachers would pick it up. It's yet another reason why gigantic primary school classes are bad news.

Angelico · 23/10/2011 18:34

Hmmmm... I was the youngest in our year all the way through primary school but was also one of the 'brightest' so tbh I think it probably depends on the child. I know lots of July / Aug birthdays who never found it affected them at all and who were very successful at school. As a teacher, my last form class were the youngest in the year and were also the most successful class in terms of GCSE results. So I would definitely not sweat it over an August baby. Personally I'd be sweating it more about a June baby and losing my whole fecking summer pay on maternity leave lol!!!

LydiaWickham · 23/10/2011 17:05

Angelico - August babies can be only a few days short of a year younger that the oldest in the class. As children get older, it's less of an issue, but the difference between a 4 year old and a 5 year old is quite a lot - it apparently takes them until the age of 7 to catch up, so can struggle in the first couple of years at school. also if they have mild learning difficulties it can be overlooked/excused due to them being 'August babies' for the first few years.

Evilwater · 23/10/2011 16:20

Angelico- basically august babies usually have a tougher time because they youngest in there school year.
I am a August baby and had a very tough time learning things in school.

Lw

Angelico · 23/10/2011 14:48

What is all this stuff about August babies??? Don't get it at all!

Buddhagirl · 23/10/2011 13:10

My stupid phone, what's a hubbub!?

EvaH · 22/10/2011 22:32

Hello all, may I join? :) lovely reading about people's plans, it is so exciting isn't it!!! I'll introduce myself; I am 28, mum to 5 yr old twins and DP has just agreed we start TTC around xmas time for our third and last little one! (as per cycle the most likely days to conceive fall around xmas day...should be interesting, depending on where we spend xmas). Would have started in Nov otherwise but don't want to 'risk' an August baby Wink although I know very well things don't often go to plan (my twins were a bit early). Looking forward to chatting more!!!

Buddhagirl · 22/10/2011 19:58

Zara1984 WTTC #1 - waiting till April 2012 redrhumba WTTC #2 - hopefully next month LydiaWickham WTTC #2 - waiting until after Christmas AmonsterCooper WTTC #1 - waiting till settled in new job LtheBrideofFrankenstein WTTC #1 -waiting until moved house/business more established Alexeliza WTTC #1 - waiting until after Christmas ComradeJing WTTC #2 - waiting for 2 more cycles on dr's advice Angelico WTTC #1 - waiting till Dec /Jan buddhagirl WTTTC #1 - waiting until after the wedding, and when hubbub is ready

Angelico · 22/10/2011 17:44

Hi notthehippopotamus. Yes it is a bit weird now as I always one of the "Bah, children!" brigade. I just keep blaming my husband saying he is desperate to have kids and I am getting sucked in... but to be honest I am creeping towards the whole idea myself. But I will really miss my life as it is now - it's pretty damned perfect. I wish I could delay the whole thing for another decade or so.

notthehippopotamus · 22/10/2011 10:13

Angelico and nenehooo - I'm a teacher too. Really not sure how I will juggle being a mummy and a teacher, but can't imagine myself doing any other job so I suppose I'll have to work it out.

I know what you mean about holiday plans nenehooo - p-i-ls have invited us on holiday with them next summer and we don't know whether to say yes, just in case we get lucky in first month of trying, but can't really tell them why we're hesitating.

I got the "When are you going to have a baby?" question from a colleague at work the other day. I used to find it easy to brush those aside with some vague non-committal answer, but it seems harder now I'm actually thinking about it so much. Blush Anyone else find that?

Just adding myself to stats again:
Zara1984 WTTC #1 - waiting till April 2012
redrhumba WTTC #2 - hopefully next month
LydiaWickham WTTC #2 - waiting until after Christmas
AmonsterCooper WTTC #1 - waiting till settled in new job
LtheBrideofFrankenstein WTTC #1 - waiting until moved house/business more established
Alexeliza WTTC #1 - waiting until after Christmas
ComradeJing WTTC #2 - waiting for 2 more cycles on dr's advice
Angelico WTTC #1 - waiting till Dec / Jan
notthehippopotamus WTTC#1 - DH now seemingly on board, waiting till Dec/Jan

Angelico · 20/10/2011 16:46

Hi girls, just found the new thread. Zara I've started using the CBFM and it's easy enough. Got mine and sticks on Amazon. Also got 30 ovulation strip tests for a fiver on Amazon so will use them too - if they are just as accurate will recommend them. I do love a gadget though! :-) BTW if you are trying to hang on until April wouldn't get anything yet - the CBFM sticks are dear - £14 on Amazon, lot more in Boots!

Hi nenehooo! V similar situation - teacher, cats, hubby, trying to time the whole shaboodle to maximise maternity leave...! [hgrin] Also sh*t scared of the lifestyle change involved.

And to all - I had applied for a new job and didn't get it - so now tempted to say f**k the whole waiting thing and get knocked up this week...! Hmm

Zara1984 WTTC #1 - waiting till April 2012
redrhumba WTTC #2 - hopefully next month
LydiaWickham WTTC #2 - waiting until after Christmas
AmonsterCooper WTTC #1 - waiting till settled in new job
LtheBrideofFrankenstein WTTC #1 - waiting until moved house/business more established
Alexeliza WTTC #1 - waiting until after Christmas
ComradeJing WTTC #2 - waiting for 2 more cycles on dr's advice
Angelico WTTC #1 - waiting till Dec / Jan

LydiaWickham · 20/10/2011 08:33

Well, as someone who's already got one little 'angel' running about, no, you do'nt get a moment to yourself, getting your fanjo waxed suddenly counts as 'me time', you will also find yourself spending 'me time' cleaning the bathroom as that's the only time you'll get to do it without a charming toddler trying to 'help'.

However, DS can now say "how do you do?" this is heart meltingly gorgeous and I want him to have a little brother or sister to share his life with. Just not now...

We had another scary conversation the other night, we are in an area with a very good, very over subscribed state primary school, the other schools aren't very good or are a hell of a long distance away, so bullets will be bitten, prep back up plans are being made - we're going to put his name down for prep and pray we get into the good state school! Thing is, half way through this DH said he didn't understand why I was stalling about one of the very good preps - it's all boys, I said but what if we have a girl next and I'm having to do 2 different school drop offs before getting the train to work? DH said, but we want to find out what we're having this time, so we'll know by the 20 week scan, so we'll know before next summer if it's 1 of each or two little boys - at this point I had the Rolf Harris song in my head and burst into tears that by this time next year I might have 2 little boys of my own. (google it, you will be crying by the end of the song)

That ended sensible conversations about school fees (FYI - less than paying for nursery full time! Nursery is sooooo expensive!) and moved on to a conversation about names that work well with DS's name, did DH think that this yet to be conceived child would get on with DS, did he think they'd grow up close, when would be a good time to take them to disney land so they are both an age to enjoy it Blush etc.

nenehooo · 19/10/2011 21:42

Oh and it scares the hell out of me... don't know how anyone copes being a teacher and a mummy - I'll literally have NO time away from children... not to mention the hubby and cats!!! Lucky I love them all dearly Wink

nenehooo · 19/10/2011 21:38

moggle that's hilarious! I might be in danger of that happening, but luckily I'm a teacher so I can pop to Reception/check out my kids' baby siblings if I need to... :-)
Ittybittysmum I didn't find the budget planner. I made it all by myself, first time using excel. THAT's how ready for a baby I am!!! I just worked out what my mat package shoud be and then put in what I'll get month by month and how it compares to what I get now. It's VERY basic, but worked!
Only spanner in the works for us now is that we want to go on a ski holiday... can't afford to go before Xmas but then next year I want to be pregnant, but then who knows if I will be etc etc etc blah blah blah... it's a big old life change huh?!

Ittybittysmum · 19/10/2011 02:46

Er, Moggle even. Blush

It was all that cat talk earlier!

Ittybittysmum · 19/10/2011 02:45

Nenehoo where did you find the budget planner? DH responds well to charts and numbers!

WelcomeMoggie!

Swipe left for the next trending thread