Waiting to try to conceive

oooh leftwing that's great news! How exciting

Discowomb lots of luck to you too! Congratulations on starting TTC!

Redstrawberry wishing you lots and lots of luck with your SWI - I hope you smack the rat first shot. Fingers crossed you will be one of the last people I wave off this thread as (touch wood) I will soon be leaving myself. I have put in what is probably the longest stint of all time, but DH and I are planning to start TTC after our USA trip... and we leave next Friday! We've even been house hunting this week, looking for houses with extra bedrooms, gardens for swing sets and primary schools nearby!

All the best xxx

AmonsterCooper (aka Leftwingharpie, AmandaCooper, AwayinaMangerCooper)

hello - just peeping in to say bye. This thread has been so supportive and helped me cope with the baby crack. Looking forward to SWI now and hopefully meeting some of you on a 'bus'

Amonstercooper thank you for everything! How have you been? Hope to bump into you on another thread.

Brilliant news Discowomb! Wishing you all the best with it, be sure to come back and let us know when you've got your BFP!

Hi all, sorry, I've been away. And we're now actively trying. Thanks for the company and good luck all

Well I'm officially confused by the really mixed signals I'm getting from DH. I really thought we were getting closer to TTC then last weekend we had a huge heart to heart. DH admitted he didn't really feel ready to become a father but had resigned himself to the fact that it would happen in the not to distant future. I have to admit I was somewhat disappointed and confused, especially considering he's recently decided to drop the contraception and rely on the withdrawal method. Really starting to feel like its one step forwards and two steps back.

But then tonight he came home, said he hadn't been feeling great this week so stopped off on his way to stock up on some vitamins and supplements. He's only gone and bought himself some conception vitamins! What the hell am I supposed to make of that?! I'm so bloody confused!

Yes I am similar - once I decide it's time to TTC I know I will be a nightmare, I will want it to happen straight away. So while I'd be happy not to get pregnant until 2013, I figure if we start in Sept/Oct, if it doesn't happen immediately I won't start properly stressing out/becoming militant (poor DH) until Jan/Feb.

I almost envy my sister/friends who had a slip-up and the choice was made for them... I have always been far too pedantic re contraception for that to happen. (I sound like a control freak don't I?! )

Hi Gennz - a lot of what you say sounds familiar.

From reading other people's posts, I think some people are just hit by a wave of broodiness.

However, I never had this when I was younger and tbh if I was 25 again I would put babies off for a few more years and go and travel the world. However, I know that I definitely do want children, and that it has to be sooner rather than later as I'm not getting any younger. Now that I've come to the decision I am impatient to do it right now - but this might be because I'm generally quite an impatient person.

All of your reasons to ttc in September/October sound sensible, and it gives you a few months of freedom to get used to the idea. I think the average time to conceive is more like 6 months, so be prepared for it to take a little longer and have a summer baby instead. Otherwise, if it wouldn't be a disaster if you got pregnant a little earlier, you could do what DP and I are doing which is not actively trying, but not preventing either.

Can I join in? I am WTTTC and finding it very difficult to decide when to take the leap! DH and I have been together 10 and a half years, married for 3. I?m turning 31 this year and he is 34. We have a nice house with a back garden, a dog, a cat ? So you can see the next logical set p is to add a baby! (I don?t mean to sound smug or complacent, I know it might not be that easy!).

After years on the pill, and depo provera before that, 3 years ago I got a copper IUD (my cycle took over a year to regulate) so in that sense I should really be ready to go once I decide to whip it out! I recently also saw a holistic doctor and got a day 21 test (progesterone levels all good) and she recommended upping my iron intake, taking folate and multi vitamin supplements, which I?ve done. So we have all the ducks in a row ? I know DH is getting clucky ? I just feel absolutely paralyzed by indecision!! How do you decide when is the right time?! At this stage I?ve sort of decided we?ll TTC in September/October for the following reasons:

(1) It gives me a couple of months to lose a few kgs. My BMI is healthy but on the high side and I don?t want to go into pregnancy carrying extra kgs on top of the baby weight.
(2) If we conceive within 3 -4 months the baby would be a winter/spring baby (we?re in NZ) which works out well for school year here and means I?m not preggers during high summer ? can enjoy 6 odd month maternity leave in spring/summer.
(3) We are planning to renovate the house and it gives a bit of time to save some more $$ for that and for ML.
(4) I?ll turn 31 in October and I figure now or never.

How did you decide? Was it just pure cluckiness? I almost wish my hormones would just take over. I?ve always imagined having children but have never really yearned for little babies ? I love toddlers and see myself as having 2 or 3 kids but the though of having a tiny human being totally dependent on me Freaks Me Out. I also worry about the effect on the dynamic of my and DH?s relationship (this is probably silly) ? but having been happy together for so long what if I don?t like the change? It?s not like you can send them back? Argh!

No date set yet. Get out of debt and have an exciting holiday first, is our plan! :)

Thanks Wannabe, that all sounds like good advice. Do you have a date set for TTC? Or are you still waiting for your finances to be in order?

I'm not into running (traumatic memories of cross-country at school) but have been trying to lose weight and cut down on the booze and general unhealthiness a little bit in preparation for TTC (although am drinking a glass of as I type this!). I think I also read somewhere that physically fit women tend to have easier pregnancies and births.

I'm also quite into doing meditation at the moment, I find it helps really clear the mind.

I would just like to add something that has helped me with the waiting.

I started a new healthy lifestyle plan with optimal health for ttc in mind at first. I've been eating healthier foods and started going running, and I've lost a fair bit of weight already.

I have found that the running outdoors clears my head and I sleep better, and I've been doing a lot less brooding over things. I find myself reading websites about nutrition and fitness plans instead of reading mumsnet and other parenting forums. It has all taken my mind off the waiting to ttc somewhat. In fact I think of the running as a 'silver lining', because I love doing it and I won't be able to do it when I get pg!

So, even though I started out doing this for my possible future baby, now I feel like I'm doing it for me. When the ttc time comes around my body will be ready and I think my mind will be ready too, as I won't have been stressing so much about it as I was before.

For the acronym guide you click on Acronyms??? That was clearly far, far too subtle for me :D
thanks!

Yes click on "Acronyms" in the talk menu. It means "shagging with intent"!

leftwing I may be TTC soon I hope. DH and I have an occasion coming up in the next couple weeks that I want to be able to drink (lots of) champagne for, and we've agreed that after that it could be time.

That said, I am a bit worried he may get cold feet when it comes right down to it! In the month or so we've gone from planning to TTC in about September (his idea), to planning to TTC in May (my idea). So... we'll see.

Random question to any / all - what does SWI stand for? I've seen it on the TTC thread where I haven't in any way been lurking. Is there an acronym guide on MN anywhere?

Questionably I don't know the answer to your question, but I do know that I have a tendency to 'symptom spot' so something that you would have barely noticed before, now becomes a possible pregnancy symptom. I also wonder whether the missed pills themselves could be the cause. Could you do a test to make sure? What day is your period due?

I suppose your OH could book in for tests but that doesn't stop you from trying in the meantime.

Disco any sign of your period yet? If not then does that mean you could be TTC next cycle??

My period is due next week and I am starting to have all of the usual symptoms this weekend. It's for the best tbh. However I've realised that my DP had rather an, erm, optimistic view of how long it would take to TTC. I think he assumed that because we had sex a couple of times without protection then I would pretty much definitely get pregnant. I think that I have had the benefit of conversations with female friends who've had kids, and lurked on this board, so I knew the chances are that it would take a while. Whereas the last thing he heard on the subject was probably that lesson at school where they tell you that if you so much as sneeze on a girl she will probably get pregnant. I wonder if other people's DPs are under the same illusion (if you're TTC #1 that is)? Or is mine just an idiot

Questionably I suppose if your OH is up for it, you may as well rule out anything if you can. Would you have to have been trying for a certain amount of time before they would do the tests? It's hard not to symptom spot isn't it!

Hermione I can't take the credit for this thread it has been going for years, I just started this bit of it! Good to hear you've been discharged. When are you TTC?

Hello,

Me again.

Following on from talk of missed pills etc I have been good this month but 'period' started a few days early, I was still taking it, but so far its only brown and very little, controlled by a pantyliner. My boobs are really heavy.

Is this wishful thinking? Has anyone else had periods like this while on the pill still? I thought I had some EWCM earlier in the month as well which is a bit weird.

Any way this is a bit of an aimless post but its weird, maybe its just my body taunting me with the thing I want most. :-(

Also, the NHS say that they will do male fertility tests if the man has a history of operations on reproductive organs and my other half falls into this category. Should we do this before we start or just get on with it?

So many questions?!?!

discowomb thank you, I will let you know if I have any questions! Feeling optimistic at the moment, I've been discharged by the specialist now and am hoping it should be over, just hoping pregnancy doesn't trigger it to return in any weird way (it was reactive arthritis but they never found out what the first trigger was).

dances I'm sure it's a bit of a downer to here but I'm another who would wait I'm afraid.

Hi leftwing, thanks so much for starting up this thread, I've been lurking for a while! Sorry to hear you are still waiting though glad there's light at the end of the tunnel now. :)

Dances Id been with DH 9 months when found out I was pregnant with DS and it has been amazing and obviously I wouldnt change it for the world, but if you have the chance why not enjoy each others company for a while before unless as other people have said time is an issue?

bugsy thats my plan re work. I had 7 months off after my DS and was thinking I could start looking for jobs whilst on maternity leave. At least if you stay in your current job you would get maternity pay and not have to delay TTC to wait for it.

i spent the day in delivery suite yesterday for work and have to admit it did make me happy to wait till October until the lovely babies were born and Mum was having cuddles :)

Dances I'd say 5 months is a little early, and I say this even as someone who knew within a month that my DP was 'the one'. Fast forward to 3 years on, we are still together, very much in love, but our relationship is not in that first flush of love. It has evolved. I've been broody for about 8 years I think but for me there's a difference - I can honestly say I know that I want DP's babies not just a baby IYSWIM. If time is on your side, then I'd wait until you've been together at least a year. If time is not, then i'd start having a chat with him now!

Disco good news about your cycle - fingers crossed!

Freckly I'm very glad to hear your DH got the all clear - what a relief! Too bad the work stuff is still standing in the way of TTC. I know how it feels to have set back after setback so you have my every sympathy. Hopefully these things are meant to be and one day we'll look back on things and we'll have better jobs and more money and be glad things worked out this way.