Waiting to try to conceive

Hello vivipru and weesooty welcome!

Vivipru the baby crack is very addictive. I'm in the same place as you. It can be very scary being responiable for another human being.

Buddagirl- wow I can't believe that. Did you take back the baby grow? Are you sniffing baby crack more??

Anglelico- I don't really mind what I have. For a boy I'd teach him how to be a man, to be gentle when needed. For a girl I'd show her how to be strong like all the female members of my family.

Lydia- have a fantasic time at the concert.

Been to a restaurant today and my focus was on the baby that was crying. Aww........

Hi everyone,

I popped in to say hello on the last thread but then got scared and ran off!!

I have been lurking?. I?m just not sure this thread is where I should be!! I kinda wanna make mumsnet friends tho!

Wee recap about me.. I?m 26, will be 27 in February. Got married a year and a half ago, have a secure job and own our own flat (well mortgage but you know what I mean). My husband is DESPERATE to have a baby. Has been since the day we got married!

And don?t get me wrong, I do feel broody, very broody some days but I?m scared. I don?t think my husband really thinks things through. At 27 I thought I?d have a perfect job and be ready for a baby? my job is secure but its far from perfect, we can pay the bills and we go out for dinner a lot and have luxuries so yes we are ok I?m just worried we won?t have enough! I?m scared I?m not ready, half the time I feel like I?m still 18? how can I be ready to look after something so small and innocent?!?!

I?m sorry I?ve just ranted psychotically! Does anyone else have these worries??

O and almost forgot, we are def, no putting it off, starting to try for a baby after my works night out in December? I?ve put this date back so often there is no way I can move it again!!!

Hello fellow WTTCers [hsmile]

Angelico I totally know what you mean. Sometimes I wish I could just be issued with a fertility guarantee - if someone could tell me I was good to go till 40 then I might not feel this creeping sense of urgency.

I love our life how it is, we've everything we need and do whatever we like pretty much, I've a canine infant glued to my side 24-7 and I can't quite imagine a baby in our lives. But for some reason, nature, hormones, chromosomes, babycrack whatever, its increasingly playing on my mind.

DP is setting up a business and I've been the sole breadwinner for the last 12 months, I'm self-employed so measly SMP for me. We've been together 8 years and I've spent the last few months working on Operation Engagement, but its slowly-slowly-catchee-monkey with himself. I suspect he's waiting until he gets a couple of invoices paid before he even thinks about sparkly precious. For him, TTC is completely off the radar. Its so out of the question in our circumstances I think he would be shocked to the core if he knew it was becoming such a constant consideration for me.

Like you buddhagirl I have niggles about my fertility, but these aren't based on anything other than my age and the fact I've never had any slip-ups despite "accidents" over the years. Im 32, 33 is looming large and the only thing I'm completely sure about in all of this (other than how I feel about him) is that I definitely want to have kids one day. And I'm realistic enough to know that I don't have forever...

Buddhagirl... For the first time ever ...I wandered through the baby aisle in the supermarket today, sneaking peeks at sterilisers and things. I was so shifty people probably thought I was trying to find my dealer...

Oh god, I just bought a newborn babygro from mothercare . Now that is broodyness. Ive never brought any baby things before. I guess its just a nice reminder that at some point i will use them. Wont be telling anyone IRL about this! Crikey, i think I'm more about the baby-crack than i thought.

Angelico, I would love to have a little girl (actually I'd love two little girls and agree twins would be even better, over in one go!). Whilst I've done lots of reading up on how you're supposed to be able to improve your odds of having a girl (and DH is supportive and prepared to indulge me!), I would be delighted to just have a healthy baby, all being well. Bring on December 27!!

Ratata - it does make sense re the gig - I went to a couple of gigs around 4-5 months pregnant with DS and I was so aware of how drunk/out of control everyone round me was. I felt very vunerable, which isn't like me normally. DH was very attentive, but I think it rather spolit the mood. It's amazingly quick that you don't feel safe...

I'm in two minds.. I'd love a little girl for me, my little girl iykwim. But, the competitive/parent pleasing part of me would really love to have a boy, as dh is one of only two boys in his generation and there are no boys in the next yet. I'd like to have the first. Just to stop them badgering me for s boy... Honest....

I'm a bad bad person

General question here ladies, mostly aimed at the first-timers. Have you a preference for your first baby - boy or girl? I would really like to have a girl, followed by another girl. Even better twin girls and get the whole pregnancy thing over with in one go!

"I'm Summer born and have always been regarded as 'bright' - just easily distracted!"
Nenehooo - we were clearly separated at birth lol!

Isn't maternity pay just sh*t??? And I hate the way everyone thinks teachers get paid full pay for about six months - erm, no. I wish.

Ratata - loving your style on the metal gig front

been awhile, but it looks like we will be starting TTC in january!! My brother cancelled his long haul wedding, its now in the UK, so no longer any worry about long haul flights and so forth. Had to change the date too so no way I'm waiting longer!

I just started a new job in a kids shop and I'm so broody! I just had appendicitis, and they were worried it was an ectoptic pregnancy for a while as I was in so much pain. I think being in A&E and having to pee on a stick in there and worry that it might be a baby that we wouldn't be able to have and all that made us both really want to start trying.

Waiting till after Christmas as we are both August babies, and no word of a lie, its about 4 birthdays a week in our families in August so we really don't want one as we want bub's birthday to be special not just the day after auntys/cousins/mummys. I'm DREADING the MIL thou, no word of a lie OH called her from A&E to ask her to pick me up some bits as I was being admitted, first thing was "OOH is she pregnant?!!" all excited. Not a normal reaction to your DIL being in hospital lol!

Hey again everyone, sorry I've not been much. I have been lurking and reading all your posts. I get the whole baby crack thing. I had a scare last December, thought I was pregnant but just had a late period. Since then I have wanted to start trying but we decided to wait til we are married.

Official starting date for TTC will be 6th Dec, after we have been to an awesome metal gig. Circle pits aplenty not good for ba-ba :P

Notthehippo - thanks for your support. AF was supposed to arrive to day so I bought a moon cup.
But no AF.
I also spent time with my friend who has kids, damn that baby crack.
Lw

Evilwater if he is worried about his fertility as well I can imagine that only makes it harder for him to talk about it. Keep working on the communication, you will get there - and hopefully we can help and support you on here along the way.

Ittybittysmum that is excellent news! Definitely progress

SpamMarie I had better get spread-sheeting! DH works from home and has a very flexible job so am hoping our childcare needs will be really limited but we will certainly need some and I would prefer not to go back full time either, so it will affect our income. I'm glad your DH is sympathetic and hope you can work out the practicalities successfully. :)

Ittybittysmum - yay! Sometimes it just takes a while for ideas to be progressed, give it 6 months and the whole thing will be his idea!

re planning the mat leave, please all remember you have to start mat leave from the day of birth, so if you are still using holidays, you can't take the first few weeks of your DCs life as holiday and then move onto mat pay, I have friends who's babies arrived early and had to just lose 1-2 days holiday.

Oh yeah! And I have a sliver of good news: This weekend was DH's birthday. I threw him a surprise party and invited friends to bring along their kids. A few of the kids even made him birthday cards and presents! Whilst doing the dishes later he started a discussion about how cute the littlest (7 mo) was and how we might hypothetically parent!

From a man who literally went white in the face when I told him I wanted a baby, I call that PROGRESS.

Hey everyone! Sorry to have been incommunicado for a little while there. School and work have been vv busy.

Welcome EvaH!

Spammarie I agree entirely. It's so scary, the cost of living is so high and wages can be eaten up so fast. Sometimes I wonder what we'll do. In my case, DH does 23 hours per week of school and about the same in homework, and will till the end of his program, so I'm the breadwinner, but he can't be a sahd, so can I afford childcare too?

Lw good idea about talking to someone about maternity leave and pay. Shall put that on my to do list!

Spam- I'm also having huge trouble in trying to explain baby crack and coming up very very short. I'm going to have a little chat with my union about mat leave and pay ect. As for understanding child tax credits, I don't think anyone can.

Lw

Well I told my dh how I was feeling, and he reiterated how unsensible it was to be thinking of children right now, and annoyingly he is entirely correct. But on a positive note, I think I managed to convey how I feel to him, and even though he cannot fully understand my addiction to babycrack, he certainly sympathises. It isn't a case of me versus him, or even trying to convince him (he is not anti-child), it's a case of working together to make it possible.

On that note, I'm currently looking into finances. I cannot understand people who have a baby (on purpose) without making a spreadsheet of how it would affect their finances! Nursery costs would wipe out a lot of my salary, so I might stay home, but then our income would be drastically less. It scares me that at a time when we'd need more money than ever, our earning potential could be halved. Eek! I might have to go back to my job and somehow make it work. My best bet is twins as then there would be no decision to be made! I definitely could not afford nursery costs for two and I'd only ever have to take maternity leave once.

SMP and child benefits, I can calculate, but I don't understand child tax credits!

I've just used the tax credits and the money problem well... Not so much. I know babes cost a fortune but it will certainly help.
I urge people to have a look and see what they could get.
Lw

Ah I see... know how it feels to hold it all in. I used to when OH didn't want kids - was also scared of talking about baby stuff, but it just all came out one day and he didn't run a mile. So many things to think about for the two of you obviously - at least you can talk about it on here where kind ears are listening xxx

The thing is our communication broke down and we are slowly rebuilding it. I don't want to ruin all the hard work,by baby talk.
He will make a great dad. Sometimes I think that he is afraid of finding out whether he can have children, as his brother can not.

Lw

Ah Evilwater I feel your pain - up until a few months ago, my OH was dead against having children. And rubbish that he's using your old reasons - these men are tricksier than us sometimes.
Thanks leaky I've just been on the gov website and we don't qualify for tax credits as we earn too much apparently! That's nice to know!!! And annoyingly, OH's sister was getting tax credits when her kids were little, and she and her OH earn WAY more than us!
So far my research has been quite positive - looking like monthly costs wouldn't be TOO much extra. But haven't approached the minefield that is childcare yet. That's a job for another day I think... when I'm less tired and emotional...