Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 18)

baby I agree, the stress really is bad for you. Its so werid how different the policies are across the country. Where I am you can self refer to EPU for bleeding etc There is also a reassurance programme for anyone who has had 2 mcs, you can go every 2 weeks.

My friend also went cos she had lost all her symptoms at 8 weeks and had had 1 MC before. Sadly the scan confirmed the worst.

pie glad to see everything is still ok for you and the metalling is totally understandable. I am going to be a mess the next time I get updiffed, constantly checking for bleeding and cramping etc etc I have also realised how cynical the whole thing has made me. A lady at work has picked names for her baby, boy and girl and told the whole office. She is 5 weeks pregnant and I am sure eveyrhting will work out for her but I keep on thinking, why are you talking about it, you don't even know if there will a baby. Argh argh!!

manda you really are the voice of reason on here, very patient indeed, are you a teacher?

Nowt to report here, on day 23 but ovulated very late this cycle on cd17 and had no decent SWI timing wise so am out for this month but that is ok. Bring on a nice christmas party induced SWI season!

Hi all,

Pie I am very similar to you in the panicking as not having dramatic symptoms camp. Rubbish innit?!
I feel a bit nauseous at times and then read about others having to throw up at work / during meetings / on trains etc and worry. I feel tired but then read about those who feel like they've been injected with sedative / can't stay awake past 8pm / feel tired an hour after waking up after 10 hours sleep etc and worry. I have a horrid suspicion that this will be the case for quite some time too - super As I am normally very laid back about things medical (but generally I am the one in control) this is a very new, and not altogether pleasant, frame of mind.

I have been Googling and you need to have had three missed miscarriages to automatically get an early scan here, unless you have bleeding or similar while you are waiting for the twelve week one. This isn't great, so am back into wondering about embelishing the bleeding and worry side of things (and "as a Type 1 diabetic, worrying and stress is very bad for blood sugar" doncha know) to try and shuffle it forward although I haven't done anything else about it yet. I think, in a way similar to pie, I am also burying my head in the sand a bit despite also being desperate to see what's happening in there.

Admittedly, I do have concerns but doesn't everyone, and this is my dilemma really. Plus, DH is away most of the month, but has shuffled his work around so he can come with me on the 5th Dec to the scan we have booked. If I told him I wanted to see if I could have an earlier one too, he's bound to suggest we just wait as I have no dramatic cause for concern so I've not mentioned it to him.

Will shut up now as going round in circles.

Thanks Manda, I'm in NE Scotland though so we just have the one EPU here connected to the Maternity Hospital. Will see what my MW says. If we have to pay, then so be it. How did your booking in appt today go? I still haven't built up the courage to make mine yet! Have you had your 12 week scan yet ? (I guess we need an updated stats list!")

frazzled be it af on the way or other...um, early symptoms, it seems as if your body is doing something so that's good news. It's tough waiting to get back to 'normal' again afterwards, even if it's quite quick!

pie I paid for a private scan at 7+4 (they actually gave me a discount of £30 because it was with them my loss was discovered at a gender scan) but then had a nhs one at 8+4. The doctor I saw at my gp's had no qualms referring me when I told her I had my bfp (and anyway, the EPU had told me they didn't want to see me again 'until you are pregnant again when we will want to look after you' They were so bloody lovely there considering the tradegy they deal with every day). I spoke to the midwife today (booking) about needing extra reassurance, particularly around 16 weeks and she said they should be able to pick up fhr then so I guess unless they have an issue picking it up (or unless I get ridiculously stressed out!) I won't be having any more 'reassurance' scans. May pay for another private one for gender again, though.

My closest epu is a gp referral one, but there is also a walk in/self referral one fairly close in SW17. It may be worth checking if there are any like that near you (not sure if you're in London? But there are several around the country - website here: Early pregnancy organisation)

Hi Peeps,

Hope everybody is well! Why does time go by so slowly whether you are waiting for ovulation, in the 2ww or counting down the days until I might have a chance of a viable scan! Am only 6 weeks but it feels like forever since I got my bfp. I won't 'qualify' for an early scan either as you need to have had 2 m/c for that so if we do want a scan at 8 weeks will have to pay £99 for one. I might speak to my MW at my booking in appt and see if she can do anything for me. Mind you I still haven't phoned my health centre to make an appt

I have been feeling nauseous some of the time and am definitely up more in in the night for the loo but my boobs haven't changed at all

Hi to summer/martha if you are lurking!

Poppy how many dpo are you now? Where abouts in the Lakes did you go for your hols?

shimmery when is your testing date!

wellies how long has that been without AF?

frazzled your local EPU sound very supportive! I do wonder if I gave mine a call what they would say? I ended up sending them a thank you card after my m/c as we had to go up there so much (had 'retained products' and bled for 6 weeks) and they were ever so lovely to me and it really made a difference feeling as though they really cared.

baby any joy with getting an early scan sorted? How many weeks are you now? I didn't have to have 2 lots of stitches when DS was born. When they took me into theatre to try the forceps I said I didn't want to be cut/tear down there and then have a CS scar to deal with and they said that wouldn't happen. They gave me 3 good tugs to try and get DS out but it didn't happen so a CS it was. Looking at forceps now makes me feel ill!

manda was it a private scan at 8 weeks that you had? Hope you are feeling well :)

Righty-oh best dash! Lunch to be had!
Love Pie x

Wellies, hope you get your scan, good luck!
baby, hope you get seen, when i had miscarriage, EPU told me to self refer if i was ever worried in next pregnancy as they dont like to have anxious mums, hope your EPU is supportive.
Ive woken up today with sore boobs, have just looked at calender and is 6 weeks since miscarriage began and 3 weeks since bleeding stopped and got neg hcg, 3 weeks since started TTC, i think AF is prob on way, am pleased as i will be able to start charting and doing ovulation tests properly. I have been testing for 3 weeks(ovulation) and have had 2 positives so didnt really know what was going on, body getting back to normal i suppose.

Hope you get offered one, Wellies, I find once you know for sure what's going on things feel a lot easier.

Good luck! x

Sounds lovely, poppyjen :)

No AF yet so am anxious to see whether I'll be offered a scan tomorrow to see what is going on in there...

HI ladies just back from long weekend in the Lakes - my goodness it was just lovely. Just checking in, I'll catch up properly this evening.

Manda I think my chart looks pretty too - CD27 is much earlier than previous O dates so the supplements must be working their magic. Here's hoping!

I'll pop back later....

Shimmery a good luck from me too!

I have nothing else whatsoever to report. I called the EPU who said it was the wrong number and gave me another number, which was permanently engaged, and then I later checked (I first called when out with the dog, you see) and saw that I had called the right number the first time as that was the number both on-line and also on all the leaflets I have been given and sent.

I am now toying with the idea of calling the midwives (the community one's) but so far haven't. I also, after HAVING to have a sleep post dog walk, now feel quite sick so feel, weirdly, a lot more pregnant than I did this morning.

May go through the whole rigmarole again tomorrow though!

I am hoping to be offered extra scans next time Manda. I do think they do something, even if only for a little while. Problem for me is my babies went so suddenly after positive appointments/scans that I struggle to feel reassured for long.

Do you know if the same is true of not so early scans? Having lost two second tri babies I'm not going to be able to relax until well after early scan territory if at all.

Fingers crossed ShimmeryPixie.

Manda fully agree and wonderfully put!!! I had two scans (early one at 6 weeks as I had no AF and a private one at 9 weeks before DH went away) but at '12 week' (actually 13 for me) I was laying on that bed with my eyes squeezed shut and turned away from the monitor. baby let us know how you get on? Oh and as for the head size......to give some perspective he has to have his glasses adjusted as 'normal' sizes don't fit because his forehead is so wide!!!!

shimmery good to see you back and hope you managed to get lots of great stuff done!!

Right off to the chip shop for a naughty lunch, !!!!

Hello ladies

Sorry to have vanished. Not had a chance to catch up on things yet (will do that shortly). I've been off work for a week doing a very large number of jobs that have been put off for months.

I'm also metalling with the best of them, following a comment by my DH last night (looking at my boobs) of "They look bigger..." Given that we tried our hardest this month (days 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15) I am ever hopeful.

I'll go and read everything and probably do a proper catch-up tonight.

Shimmery xxx

Wise Manda strikes again!

Manda the way you decribed your scan at 8+4 sounds just like how I expect to be at mine. I was also, in a delayed shock way, kind of like that at the first scan when the mmc was spotted - I sat back up and said 'well, that's that then' and it was only until I had to send DH back in to cancel the subsequent dating scans etc that I started to wobble and hence hide in the stairwell (I am not one for open dramatic emotions normally either.)

I suspect I need to get a referral as when I had a TINY bit of spotting last time I was told that by the GP (who was semi sympathetic, but also told me that 'miscarriage is very common' as if I wasn't already aware and that being told this made it somehow less important.) I guess I am thinking that I am semi impatient not to wait for 4 weeks (four weeks today, to the minute, I'll be going in - typing that has made my heart race...!) rather than have a cast iron excuse, and yes, there are women in far 'worse' or more dramatic scenario's who need appointments more than me.

Bugger.

I might give the EPU a call and see what happens.

Watch this space...

baby Here's the thing. You're woried. Probably more anxious than you admit to even yourself (this was definitely the case for me as when I went for that scan at 8+4 I felt all blase - if it's gone wrong, it's gone wrong. Yet took sharp intake of breath and eyes filled with tears when she said 'yes, there's your baby and the hearts beating away' and intense relief flooded over me. I don't do PDA, usually!).

You have had some spotting.

There are studies that prove that although an early scan cannot guanrantee a good outcome, the amount of reassurance it gives does something positive - women with reoccurant losses/ivf have consistently better outcomes when offered early scans and general handholding. Which is so bloody interesting to me, especially when most drs say 'well, stess isn't ideal in pregnancy, you should minimise if you can, but it won't hurt...' WHy this 'placebo effect' from scans then?

How sympathetic is your gp? (I'm presuming here you need a gp referral to the epu? I live near both a self refer walk in, and a gp one). I don't think, all things considered, you really need to embellish very much at all. The fact your mmc was discovered at your 12 weeks scan, in conjunction with some spotting (that you're terrified means bad things... (stay with me here - we both know some spotting can be pefectly normal)) and general anxiety/trouble sleeping for worying you're about to go through it all again... it would have to be a hard, cynical dr indeed who would tell you to trot off and wait another four weeks like a good girl.

You do have valid reasons without need to embellish. Granted, there are, of course, other emergent women who will be bleeding lots with pain and our logic tells us 'we're not in that situation so we don't really deserve the same kind of attention.' Well, you DO derserve good care and reassurance. This is only humane!

Ok, cut it short, Manda: Speak to your GP for a referral, eh?

poppy You out there, my lovely? Yay for a C27 O! And that's a lovely looking chart you have brewing Look at the way my BFP chart this time bobbled just above the coverline for there days and then shot up... Just sayin'. Y'know, just sayin' your chat looks pretty!

Ok, gotta dash. I'll be back a little later to catch up more comprehensively.

Giant heads

Now furiously wondering about the sizes of heads in DH's family....

Am confused re EPU too. Really, I shouldn't etc etc, and I probably won't but I can't help toying with the idea all the same, esp due to what happened last time.

Hi ladies - thanks for all your hugs and best wishes. Still not feeling great but hoping this will come in time. Not really been up to much this weekend - I managed to make some curtains and matching cushion covers for the nursery which felt nice. I will have to wait until DSis comes to stay to put them up but it is nice to actually do something which doesn't hurt and not just sit around on my bum!!!

pie DH is deciding on first and second name while I get the choice of all the rest - in my culture we have loads of names so its not a problem for me and I can veto DH's choices if they are horrible!! Your DS birth sounds traumatic but well worth it....tell me it was!!! I keep dreaming of long and complicated labours due to the babies 'giant head' status....!!

far so glad they think they have the route of your problem....fingers crossed for a positive outcome next time round. And 29 - that is definitely on the up!!!

manda too right on the butt kicking - I explained to DH that women in my family only come feisty....he said "thank god for that - do not what I would do if anyone actually agreed with me in my own home"...... think that was a bit sarcasm but as with all things I just ignored him...!!

moomin wow 2 prem's, I was 6 weeks early and on the small side which is what my dad blames his hair loss on!!! Now af is out of the way will you be SWI or waiting for the consultant to go through stitch options with you?

marathon DH is loving the fact its a girl, his newest niece is only 7 weeks old so he said "they can grow up and be best friends and cousins" - he never had cousins and feels like he missed something so he is really happy. He now refers to us as his "two beautiful ladies".....I think he is just trying to keep me buttered up cos he knows how much I'm struggling - bless him for trying!! 20 week scan, scary but wonderful....sending you lots of wonderful thoughts for the day and will be checking obsessively for any news!!!

msscarlett the waiting is pants but sounds like a good plan SWI and testing wise. Hopefully things will become clearer in the coming weeks.

wellies hoping tuesday takes you a few steps forward on the baby making road! Do you get the results there and then or do you have to wait???

baby very good question!!! My MIL had to have internal and external stitches with DH cos FIL's side of the family have GIANT HEADS. Can't believe she waited until I was pregnant to tell me this horrible thing....bloody dreadding a tear now!!! Good thing your scan is booked in, yeah it feels ages away and unfortunately will feel like ages as you wake up each day and count down but it will come round. I'm not really sure what to advise re:epu as your right an early one won't guarantee a good outcome but then you might get that little bit of reassurance your looking for.

Right have probably missed people off - apologies to you if I have!!

Must go and get myself my first breakfast before this little one starts kicking the heck out of my bladder!!!

Love to all xxx

Moomins the birth of your DS also made me wince! Shudder! I find it baffling when people say, post birth, that it really wasn't that bad. I can't get my head around it at all!

A doppler is something I think I would also get obsessed with, and consequently neurotic about so I think I am best giving them a miss.

So, my scan date has been arranged for the 5th of December at 11.10am. It also came with a very bossy letter telling me that I will not be able to have another one offered if I miss this one, and I can't bring 'noisey children' and so on. I know it's not that long to go in the grand scheme of things but I really wish it was a bit sooner. I have been reasonably okay in the neurosis department but this has largely been due to being too tired to be much else. However, I am still terrified of having another MMC as the pg before still showed full symptoms, so I don't trust my body with these things. If things look amiss I want to know sooner rather than later really.

I know this is terribly naughty, but I am considering (and I mean only considering) calling the EPU with a fictitious bleed and seeing if they can fit me in a little sooner...? I have had a tiny bit of spotting, although I realise that doesn't neccessarily mean its gone tits up, so I am toying with the idea of, er, embelishing. However, I am also thinking that an early scan would not neccessarily mean it's all going to be fine either, and I am only eight weeks so it is still very early.
I don't know really. I think I just want some reassurance, but with the house stuff going on (and subsequent cost) I can't really fork out for an private scan.

Babysaurus is back in the room!
I am up this early as DH is working away this week, well poss till January, and had an early start to get to Bristol (about 4 hours away) and have spent some time catching up with everyone's news. I know I am going to forget something or someone, or get someone muddled up, so I do apologise in advance - it doesn't help that you can't go back a page on MN while writing a post to check things.

Anyway, IQ, I am firstly delighted to hear you are having a little girl. I am less delighted to hear that you are having a shite time with everything else. It sounds as if you have lots of support though, which is fab, and I really hope things start to smooth over soon. {{hugs}}

PieMistress your birth story made me wince, and I mean wince! I have to say, forceps are the stuff of nightmares for me, and so also is a c-sec. I find it really weird when people talk about them as if they are an easy option. I have come to the conclusion that these people have never had abdominal surgery! I have been reading up on Type 1 diabetic births and the like, and found a lovely, if a little weird (nice people but it makes me feel as if being diabetic is a Big Deal and more of a worry than I actually find it in RL IYSWIM) support site for diabetics, all kinds, and almost everyone seems to have had both huge babies and been induced. And these are the one's who had good control thoughout their pregnancies too - eeek! Can I ask, and sorry to be so direct, with the attempted forceps and then the subsequent c-sec did you end up with stitches, erm, 'everywhere'?

MissScarlett my cycle felt a bit weird for the first month, and I know how frustrating it can be. I just wanted things to feel 'normal' (subjective word, I know) again as it meant I could move on. I hope your period comes soon so the waiting stops.

Moomins A friend of a friend also had to have a stitch as she had two late miscarriages (one was twins too) but it was a roaring success and she now has a lovely little girl.

Wellies I am guessing they'll scan you to make sure there's nothing left. I had to go back twice for this (the joy.)

Am going to post this and then read the page before so I can catch up properly - hold on!

He's going to talk to us about what type of stitch I will have next time I'm pg

I hope all is well, wellies. Good luck to you. I am more glad than I can say you think I'm being sensible, sometimes I doubt my sanity!

I hope you are okay about AF Moomins. What are you expecting from the consultant? Sorry I'm not up to date with everyones stories. I am trying.

Hi everyone just over 5 weeks since loosing Jacob and af has arrived, still no appointment with the consultant though, I'm going to phone the hospital tomorrow

Not too sure, MsScarlett. Tests and scan, I think, to check everything is gone.

Sounds like you're approaching things sensibly :)

msscarlett it just goes to show how different everybody's experiences can be. I had a relatively early m/c at 7 weeks yet bled for over 6 weeks! Take care of yourself (and you too wellies) x

What will your follow up be welliesandpyjamas? I'm interested to know. We had a post mortem carried out but were warned not to expect results for 12 weeks.