Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 18)

Just rang the maternity unit by my MIL's and had a totally different reaction. Conversation went like this:
Me: 'hi, this is MrsIQ ringing as I'm worried out of my head as I haven't felt the baby move for over a day'
Midwife: 'right well that isn't necessarily anything to worry about but I understand why you would be concerned
Me: I've tried cold/hot drinks, singing, dancing - the usual things which make her move.
Midwife: right well I'm not sure how many births we have in at the moment but don't worry we will see you today. Better to put your mind at rest rather than have you worrying yourself. Let me take your number and we will ring you back with an appointment within the hour.
Can't believe the difference!!!!!

anyhow enough of my worries - Manda thinking of you and keeping it all crossed. Just by the way my 40 year old friend had a measurement if 2.5 and ended up with a 1 in 10,000 score so try not to worry. Xxxx

leery welcome to the mosh pit - these ladies are excellent and have talked me down from many crazy notions that I have had - the most notable to date "my tummy is really hot maybe I have an infection in the fluid around the baby"......this was at 8 weeks pregnant!!!!

Whoever asked when DH is back - it's 16 days (hopeful if there aren't any delays)......not that I'm counting or anything!!!!

Will catch up properly later - desperately need to eat something before I collapse!!!!

Afternoon all...how's everyone feeling today?

Welcome leedy so sorry you find yourself here but this is definitely the best place to be given the circumstances!!

manda great that you got an appointment, thinking of you this afternoon!

Hope the 2ww is not driving you too insane poppy, shimmery, pebs and far

In agreement with IQ/Poppy/Manda I think that unfortunately post MC there are all manner of extra worries in TTC again and of course post BFP until 12 weeks...20 weeks and beyond! Some of these things I was still blissfully unaware of until this thread, but actually knowing more and hearing other's stories and experiences has really helped and going through the ups and downs together is an important part of the support we share. Having said that there have been times when I've found either the good news (when I was in the WTF cycle or frustrated with TTC) and the bad news a bit too much in which case I have just lurked for a while until I was ready to post again.

And this morning I made an interesting discovery which is that beany doesn't like strawberries...not even half a tiny one! As within minutes of eating it I had my head over the loo and then in mid puke session was trying to explain to DH that it was not blood and that he didn't need to call an ambulance as it was in fact strawberry poor thing had gone very very pale!! I also had a bit of an emotional melt down at one of the Directors this morning after finally getting to work (only got 3.5hrs sleep last night - stupid jetlag) and then the strawberry incident so wasn't feeling too great and then there was nowhere to park...it was the last straw and the silly director kept asking if I was ok until I finally cracked and burst into tears blubbering away about there being no parking why men can't see that they really should just leave you rather than keep pushing sometimes...grrrr!!

I'll add myself to the stats:-

MarthasHarbour; TTC#2; cycle 7; AF due circa 13 Nov
ShimmeryPixie: TTC#1, cycle 3 post MC AF due 14 Nov
Pebspop: TTC#1, Cycle 2 AF due around 19 November
Smileygirl: TTC#2. Cycle 1 post MC, AF due circa 11th Oct but who knows
Welliesandpyjamas TTC#3 cycle 1 post MC
TwoWeekWonder TTC#2, cycle 2 since MC, AF due 19th ish
Poppyjen TTC#2 Cycle 4 post mc AF due 20th November ish (based on last cycle)
Farfallarocks TTC #1, cycle 2 post MC, AF due 13th November
MsScarlettInTheLibrary TTC#2 cycle 1 post MC, AF doing her own thing
MillontheFloss: TTC#1 Cycle 2 post MC, AF due approx 29th Nov

BFP: (insert your due dates etc here)
MarathonMama TTC #2 (1DD, 25mo) EDD 17th March
InsomniaQueen TTC #1 EDD 18th March 2012
MissGiraffe TTC #2 (1DD, 15yo) EDD 10th May 2012
MandaHugNKiss TTC#4 EDD 18th May 2012
BlueCrane TTC#1 EDD 31st May 2012
Eve34 TTC #2 EDD 1st June 2012
Babysaurus TTC #1 EDD 15th June 2012
PieMistress TTC #2 (1DS, 23mo) EDD 1st July 2012

manda definatley will be thinking of you - let us know how it goes.

leedy funny you should say your last pg was your only chance of getting pg first time - i am thinking exactly the same. i think we all get a bit irrational when ttc.i am going to be trying again at xmas and i am convinced i can't get pg in the first month as i had that last time!

welcome to the group anyway. it's not really the greatest group to have to join but everyone is lovely and it's nice to have somewhere to moan and not feel bad about it!

Hi and welcome leedy :) Very sorry about your loss, hope you find this company useful/helpful. Thanks for letting us in on the terrible issue of giant unicorns too

manda thinking of you for 2pm

Manda good luck, I know I would be the same. Let us know how it goes

Thanks folks! I shall continue WTF-cycling (I like it) and trying to be nice to myself.

leedy Welcome. Wish I didn't have to welcome you, but all the same, happy to have you - if you see what I mean? We positively encourage ranting, muttering, less so the stressing but we ALL understand where you're coming from, the thoughts that are impossible to express in real life, the never ending 'why's (actually, the whys do lessen an fae with time... but now you mention it, I'd never considered Giant Unicorns! I clearly didn't cover all my bases! ) You are currently in the, what we like to affectionately call, the 'what the fuck' cycle. As in, just about every woman will have a ifferent cycle than usual following a loss and further, different from other women who have had a loss! You're often left scratching your hea in frustration thinking 'Wtf is going on?!'. All we will counsel is patience at this time! And wine. And chocolate. And holidays. All the usual 'treat/be kind to yourself, try not to stress too much'.

Ok, stand back ladies, confession time... I am feeling calmer, honest. BUT. I just called the fetal medicine centre and they can fit me in at 2pm today so I'm going! SHitting myself. I'm convinced there is no nasal bone (because she only gave me one pic and it appears missing from that) and I think something like 80% of babies with issues would be missing a nasal bome at this point. I AM a person who copes better knowing - even if it's bad news - so it makes sense for me to go where the gold standard of this screening process is practised.

Will upate later when back (won't be before about 5pm I shouldn't imagine)

Hi Leedy welcome to the thread - sorry you find yourself here, but there are some fabulous ladies on here who I am sure will be as supportive and lovely for you as they have been for me

Rant/mutter/stress as much as you like - especially about giant unicorns

Hi everyone, I am not just new to this thread but new to mumsnet, hope it's ok if I join in - I found you all after some internet rummaging.

I had a miscarriage at 11.5 weeks last week - had a scan that showed no development since 8 weeks, miscarried naturally that evening (though needed further hospital visit next day for galloping blood loss), now just spotting a bit. Hospital said it was probably just one of those things, something wrong and my body's natural quality control systems kicked in. Still very sad and disappointed but would love to get pregnant again - the loss actually made me realize how much I wanted a second child.

I already have a lovely son who is 21 months - did the whole temping charting thing when TTC with him. Most recent pregnancy involved, er, a lot less trying. Actually, more "going on holiday, drinking wine". :)

So ... current mindfvcking is that because I didn't really try last time that that was my ONE CHANCE at getting pregnant straight away and this time will obviously take AGES. Also because I am VERY OLD (39) I have obviously immediately become infertile. Not to mention the standard-issue "what if I hadn't had to take antibiotics for a chest infection, even though they were safe for pregnancy? what if I have an undiagnosed progesterone deficiency? what if it was giant unicorns?" etc. etc. Also still trying to decide if I should wait for next period or next obvious signs of ovulation.

Anyway, it's lovely to find so many people in the same position as me and I hope you don't mind me coming in to rant/mutter/stress.

Manda nothing to pee on sadly - am currently awaiting my tesco delivery which will contain a shiny new pack of First Responses. I have some CB Digis too but saving them Promised myself I wouldn't test early but given last few cycles ended with spotting at 10dpo and AF at 11dpo who am I kidding!

Very pleased you are feeling a bit more calm about things now

Thanks everyone for talking me down yesterday. I have (had by last night) calmed down a lot since then as I fugure freaking out won't actually change anything... and, anyway, I couldn't have an amnio until 15 weeks if I did go for another private screening/or my risk comes back high, and what am I gonna do, live on the edge until then? Well, probably. Kinda. But I have managed to feel slightly reassure by everyone and put it to the back of my min somewhat instead of completely wallowing.

baby I feel the same as IQ/Poppy and I certainly don't feel worse for being with you guys (the opposite infact!) but we are all different. Some people really need to bury their heads in the sand to get through stressful times and so coming to a thread that constantly reminds them of what they're trying to ignore wouldn't be good! If you think it's making you worse try a few days break? You need to do whatever you need to do! We will, of course, be here should you need us

I wholeheartedly second that IQ - we know that we all have up days and down days, that sadly is the nature of the beast after mc, but I think things look very bleak when a lot of us have the down days at the same time! That's not to say we shouldn't feel free to speak about our worries here, quite the opposite - it is important for us all to feel we can share and be supported whatever the news

Whilst we may not be able to provide any reassurance we can certainly provide a safe and comfortable environment for everyone to share their feelings in a way that many can't in RL (I know I can't..)

Hopefully we can all help to encourage positive feelings even on the bleakest days Just look at the number of BFPs we have had over the past few months its wonderful!

Whatever your experience of mc and loss,however early or late and whether you feel you are coming out of the woods or you're lost somewhere in the middle just know that we will listen and support even if we don't know exactly what you are going through.

Chin up ladies, we will get through this together

Here's some and ......

I understand about the 'collective' worrying but I think were all in a bit of a down swing at the moment - we have had so much great news with lots getting BFP's, good or useful results from Dr/consultant, lovely breaks away, things to look forward to during the next few months ect that we kind of got used to that. Were all missing Martha/summer, feeling worried about babies, lack of symptoms, test results, lack of AF or crazy cycles. Unfortunately all of this has come hot on the heels of each other.

I don't think were making each other more worried - I think knowing each others stories just makes us so much more aware of the problems faced everyday by women trying to start or trying to expand their families.

It is a long hard road up to the 12 week scan and there are so many things that make you feel unsure and concerned. Then you get past that hurdle and other things turn up.

BUT we have hope, we have each other and if all else fails we have chocolate and wine!!!!

Love to you all xxxx

I know what you mean but I feel a bit stuck in the middle as I have to do some obsessing but don't quite feel at home with my worries anywhere. I feel like late MC-s are even less spoken about than earlier ones, maybe that is understandable, I don't know. Yet I don't quite feel I'm mourning a baby as on the stillbirth threads. I feel kind of in between - I don't mean to say there's a scale, of course there isn't, it's just a matter of what your experiences were and concerns are going forward. The treatments of and causes for stillbirth/2nd tri MC/1st tri MC are all so different. At the moment I'm here as I'm TTC so it is a great place for that because I don't think any of us can cope with a happy optimism and blind faith so often found in the 'pure' TTC threads.

Sorry I'm rambling and probably OT.

It doesn't make me worry more, but I worry for everyone else anyway.

While I agree wholeheartedly that talking it through is massively helpful, especially with people who've been or are in the same boat, but I did start to wonder earlier if it is making me worse (obviously I am not talking for all of us!)

baby I understand what you mean, and yes, there is that risk, but it is good to have a place to 'visit' in a world that doesn't like talking about miscarriage.

I know that I am doing ok most of the time and I use this kind thread to talk out my obsessive thoughts about ttc after the pain of loss. I'm trying not to worry too much but it's only natural (and so much more for those of you already pregnant), and actually, wouldn't we feel more worried if we couldn't talk it through?

Oh, yes, time to update!

MarthasHarbour; TTC#2; cycle 7; AF due circa 13 Nov
ShimmeryPixie: TTC#1, cycle 3 post MC AF due 14 Nov
Pebspop: TTC#1, Cycle 2 AF due around 19 November
Smileygirl: TTC#2. Cycle 1 post MC, AF due circa 11th Oct but who knows
Welliesandpyjamas TTC#3 cycle 1 post MC
TwoWeekWonder TTC#2, cycle 2 since MC, AF due 19th ish
Poppyjen TTC#2 Cycle 4 post mc AF due 20th November ish (based on last cycle)
Farfallarocks TTC #1, cycle 2 post MC, AF due 13th November
MsScarlettInTheLibrary TTC#2 cycle 1 post MC, AF doing her own thing

BFP: (insert your due dates etc here)
MarathonMama TTC #2 (1DD, 25mo) EDD 17th March
InsomniaQueen TTC #1 EDD 18th March 2012
MissGiraffe TTC #2 (1DD, 15yo) EDD 10th May 2012
MandaHugNKiss TTC#4 EDD 18th May 2012
BlueCrane TTC#1 EDD 31st May 2012
Eve34 TTC #2 EDD 1st June 2012
Babysaurus TTC #1 EDD 15th June 2012
PieMistress TTC #2 (1DS, 23mo) EDD 1st July 2012

Just a thought, do you think we might be making each other worse in the neurotic departments...? Please don't think I am NOT saying you are all fab, you are most certainly that, but I am wondering if our combined worrying is adding together and growing even bigger...?

Not sure if that makes sense or not. Probably not. If you didn't know better you'd have probably thought I was pissed...

I've added myself to the BFP stats but shitting myself incase i'm jinxing things (need to get a GRIP!)

MarthasHarbour; TTC#2; cycle 7; AF due circa 13 Nov
ShimmeryPixie: TTC#1, cycle 3 post MC AF due 14 Nov
Pebspop: TTC#1, Cycle 2 AF due around 19 November
Smileygirl: TTC#2. Cycle 1 post MC, AF due circa 11th Oct but who knows
Welliesandpyjamas TTC#3 post MC don't know about AF
TwoWeekWonder TTC#2, cycle 2 since MC, AF due 19th ish
Poppyjen TTC#2 Cycle 4 post mc AF due 20th November ish (based on last cycle)
Farfallarocks TTC #1, cycle 2 post MC, AF due 13th November
MsScarlettInTheLibrary TTC#2 cycle 1 post MC, AF doing her own thing

BFP: (insert your due dates etc here)
MarathonMama TTC #2 (1DD, 25mo) EDD 17th March
InsomniaQueen TTC #1 EDD 18th March 2012
MissGiraffe TTC #2 (1DD, 15yo) EDD 10th May 2012
MandaHugNKiss TTC#4 EDD 18th May 2012
BlueCrane TTC#1 EDD 31st May 2012
Eve34 TTC #2 EDD 1st June 2012
Babysaurus TTC #1 EDD 15th June 2012
PieMistress TTC #2 (1DS, 23mo) EDD 1st July 2012

MarthasHarbour; TTC#2; cycle 7; AF due circa 13 Nov
PieMistress; TTC #2, cycle 5; AF due circa 25th Oct
ShimmeryPixie: TTC#1, cycle 3 post MC AF due 14 Nov
Pebspop: TTC#1, Cycle 2 AF due around 19 November
Smileygirl: TTC#2. Cycle 1 post MC, AF due circa 11th Oct but who knows
Welliesandpyjamas TTC#3 post MC don't know about AF
TwoWeekWonder TTC#2, cycle 2 since MC, AF due 19th ish
Poppyjen TTC#2 Cycle 4 post mc AF due 20th November ish (based on last cycle)
Farfallarocks TTC #1, cycle 2 post MC, AF due 13th November
MsScarlettInTheLibrary TTC#2 cycle 1 post MC, AF doing her own thing

BFP: (insert your due dates etc here)
MarathonMama TTC #2 (1DD, 25mo) EDD 17th March
InsomniaQueen TTC #1 EDD 18th March 2012
MissGiraffe TTC #2 (1DD, 15yo) EDD 10th May 2012
MandaHugNKiss TTC#4 EDD 18th May 2012
BlueCrane TTC#1 EDD 31st May 2012
Babysaurus TTC #1 EDD 15th June 2012
Eve34 TTC #2 EDD 1st June 2012

Not guaranteed to be awful Pie. On my age the chance is about 1:750 but my actual risk, as calculated two months ago with my lost one, was 1:100,000. If they can swell like that even 1:150 can be very low risk.

I conceived DD without getting AF post my first MC. So I know it's possible. It's not willpower not to test - if by some miracle I'm 4 weeks pg right now (which I'm pretty certain I'm not) then I have no desire at all to know about it.

If no AF by Christmas I'll test so I can get drunk

eve glad you booked your scan for saturday. will be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

manda i was freaking out about my nt scan last time as the results came back as 1 in 800 and that seemed really low compared to all the people on the internet who got 1 in 10000 etc. especially when my measurement was 1mm. i was expecting a high result as well. they said i was low risk but i didn't feel like it. give the midwife a ring and have a chat with them.

i think we all need to start demanding attention from midwifes epu etc as everyone seems to be freaking out and they are the ones who can help us.

thought i would update the stats as we haven;t done it for ages.

MarthasHarbour; TTC#2; cycle 7; AF due circa 13 Nov
PieMistress; TTC #2, cycle 5; AF due circa 25th Oct
ShimmeryPixie: TTC#1, cycle 3 post MC AF due 14 Nov
Pebspop: TTC#1, Cycle 2 AF due around 19 November
Smileygirl: TTC#2. Cycle 1 post MC, AF due circa 11th Oct but who knows
Welliesandpyjamas TTC#3 post MC don't know about AF
TwoWeekWonder TTC#2, cycle 2 since MC, AF due 19th ish
Poppyjen TTC#2 Cycle 4 post mc AF due 20th November ish (based on last cycle)
Farfallarocks TTC #1, cycle 2 post MC, AF due 13th November

BFP: (insert your due dates etc here)
MarathonMama TTC #2 (1DD, 25mo) EDD 17th March
InsomniaQueen TTC #1 EDD 18th March 2012
MissGiraffe TTC #2 (1DD, 15yo) EDD 10th May 2012
MandaHugNKiss TTC#4 EDD 18th May 2012
BlueCrane TTC#1 EDD 31st May 2012
Babysaurus TTC #1 EDD 15th June 2012
Eve34 TTC #2 EDD 1st June 2012