Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 18)

Hi ladies - I know I've been awol, my health has gone back down hill again and I had a lovely hospital visit yesterday from all the pain in my tummy. All is fine with little miss but I'm struggling with the pain quite a bit. Its so hard at the moment because the pain makes me feel really low but every time I reach down and feel her moving I realise how lucky I am. Sorry for my sob story but its hard to explain to people in RL why the conflicting emotions are difficult to manage. But onwards and upwards ladies....every day that passes is a day closer to my DH being home!!!

pie so sorry to hear about your shocking day at work the other day - hope you have recovered from the drama.

eve sooooo pleased that your scan came back a lot better.....hopefully you get a nice letter with some good odds so you can relax properly!!

blue poor you - it is hard when you get those reminders but as you said you need to stay focused on your positive news. And for your next scan in january.....keeping my fingers and toes crossed that everything continues well for you.

baby I know what you mean about finding it tricky to talk to people in RL. Me and my cousin have both had MC's and are now pregnant which makes it is easy to talk to her but I can't really speak to anyone else cos they all just look at me like "well your pregnant now, what's the big deal". Hopefully we both continue on this journey and have happy endings.

far hope you have a wonderful time way....a nice break from work definitely sounds good!! Hope you get plenty of SWI in during your break away. Xx

poppy whoop whoop for you and your friends double pregnancy....keeping my legs crossed for you that things continue on in the same way. It is so hard in the very early stages but just try to take things as they come. My DH refused to believe anything until I sent him a photo of the CB Digi....that soon changed his tune..... Take it easy over the next few days!! Xx

marathon so glad your scan went well and hope that your busy month doesn't leave you too tired out.

manda huge congratulations on your engagement.....I do love sparkly things!! Also really wonderful that your latest scan gave you positive results.

pebs so sorry your feeling low at the. moment - it is totally understandable! Sending you lots of hugs from casa IQ!! Hopefully the new year will bring lots of good news for you. Xx

leedy so glad you had a positive meeting with your gp and I fully agree with him on hoping for happier news in the new year. Also wonderful news about your friend and twins!!

twinkle welcome to the mosh pit - hopefully these ladies will give you as much support as they've given me.

Sorry to anyone I've missed - love to all!! Xxx

Thanks for the B vits info. Luminous yellow wee, here I come!

www.fertilityfriend.com/home/374325

thansk for the support everyone.

i am doing ok today but i will probably let it all out tonight. will mention it to dh later - won't see him till about 10pm as i am out with my collegues after work. thought i might light a candle i have from my wedding as a little reminder for the baby. will do that when i get home.

poppy I have nothing more to say on the matter just now, other than to grin in your general direction!

pebs It's so bloody hard. I thought I was doing so well on Teddy's due date until the evening when I fell apart. We can only handle it the way we can handle it, and don't need to feel bad in any way. Is it worth reminding DH, perhaps in a non-direct way, by saying something along the lines of 'I'm sorry if I seem a bit distracted today, it's just that it's the due date today'. So you get to remind him without being cross at him for forgetting, iyswim?

That was one of the things that devastated me shortly after losing Teddy - within days, everyone else (except DF) seemed to have completely forgetton him. That's not to say they did but of course they weren't feeling the loss in the same way as me (or his Daddy). And the rest of the world was trundling along whilst mine had just...stopped. But it does get easier.

Is it a bit weird to say I'm so glad you have us to talk to about how you're feeling? Just that it was invaluable for me, so I'm happy to 'pay it forward' as it were and be there for someone else who maybe can't say the things in real life that they just need to say.

Looking forward to Oz is a great thing to have in the near future, especially as you'll be ttc. And, now, with the answers you have you are in a much better postition once you get your bfp. I'll try and find the link to your chart to have a nosy for you (or you could post it again )

leedy Good to have a sympathetic GP onside. I have read of so many women being fobbed off so you're onto a winner already.

leedy and Tw1nk you can take the high dose complex b vits in addition to your normal prenatal vits/multivits as they only contain the rda (or more for folic acid) but B vits are quite difficult to overdose on as they are water soluable. I took the B100 complex from holland and barratt (they also do a B50 if you don't feel comfortable jumping in at 100). Be prepared for highly flourescent yellow pee! And although they work their real magic in the follicular stage of your cycle, it doesn't hurt to take them from any point.

baby Glad you're thinking logically doing better It's those bloody pregnancy hormones that seem to override our logic at times, though, eh?

far Not sure if you'll see this, but have a great holiday! I don't remember where you're going?

blue My 20 (and half!) week scan is on Jan 4th! Conversely, for me, it seems an aaaaaage away. But so does christmas in my head (I am not a fan of christmas, and this year is shaping up to look even more of a headache than usual for various reasons). Yum!

What's my latest? Um. It's DS1's birthday today... I was in the hospital as was induced, but hadn't had my first contraction yet. That happened at around 4.15pm (with my water going, too ) and he made his appearance at 5.54pm. I always find myself reliving the actual day of their birth on my kids' birthdays. Am I odd?

it is me who is going to oz. can't wait to get away - three weeks off work hurrah!!

it's a bit weird when other people situation reminds you of what could have been. my dh step sister had a baby when my first one would have been due and his step brothers gf is overdue at the moment so that baby could come at any minute. it;s gutting but hopefully we have it all to look forward to still.

pebs hope your day is ok...so tough to have two sad anniversaries so close to each other. It is good news that you now have some answers about why things went wrong but I know that won't make it any easier. Really hope AF stays away for at least a few more days so that you can see an improvement in LP as that will hopefully give you a bit of a boost. Am I getting utterly confused or is it you that's off to Oz at Christmas and restarting SWI then? If so then hopefully that can be something to look forward too in the midst of these tough weeks.

Scarily it will be 19week scan in January but...literally just had an email pop through about the leaving presentation for one of the girls at work who finishes to go on mat leave today...she's due the same week that I would've been so it could've been me finishing today too Must stay focused on my good news but never easy to have these reminders!

Oh, lovely lovely news poppy! And ach, pebspop you have every right to feel a bit mopey and a bit sad today. Hope you've a longer lp this cycle.

Had nice chat with my GP this morning, who reassured me re my panicky BUT WHAT IF I DID SOMETHING TO CAUSE THIS thoughts (no, I almost certainly didn't), was v sympathetic in an "onwards and upwards" sort of way. Said he hoped to see me with happier news in the new year.

(He also gave me non-preg-friendly meds to nuke my recurring chest infection from orbit in the hopefully not-too-long window between being pregnant and being pregnant again - joy! Early pregnancy with bronchitis last time round was not much fun.)

Also got lovely news from an online friend who'd had three miscarriages due to a hereditary problem (something like only 1 in 6 eggs were viable) - she's pg WITH TWINS!

poppy i am glad the bfps are back! i have learned something from your experience - stick to the same tests if we are testing early. i wouldn't have known that they could be so different.

far have a great holiday - two weeks of swi sounds good to me. lets hope you come back with good news.

blue is it your 12 weeks scan on 3rd jan - sorry i can't keep up!!

baby i hate it when people say everything is fine when it's obvious it might not be. i think i would have been guilty of doing it before i have the mc's. now i hate it when anyone says it will be fine. i am tempted not to tell anyone next time until it's really noticable - i think i can get away with not telling some people until a baby is here - just so i dont' have to hear how it will be fine and everything will work out when it might not.

it's my due date today for the baby i mc'd at 20 weeks. i feel ok but nearly cried on the way into work when i saw something sad. i am in work all day then out tonight with my collegues. no-one knows about the due date. dh hasn't mentioned it. i don't expect people to remember as i suppose it was only me who really knew the dates etc. i did remind dh a few weeks ago but i think he has forgotten. it's going to be the first anniversary of my first mc next week as well. a whole year has gone past and i am still no closer to having a baby. actually i suppose i am as i now know what has caused the mc's but i do wonder why i had to be the one with a problem. other people seem to have it so easy. it's not fair! i think i will let myself have a little mope when i get home tonight.

my temp is still up on ff. i am now 7 dpo and if i am the same as last cycle should get af tomorrow. i am hoping she stays away for another few days so that my lp will increase.

x-post far hope you have a lovely holiday

poppy the words on a digi do make it seem a lot more real!!

poppy fab news for you and your friend!! Hang in there...and well done for getting the superdrug tests and for chatting to DH and getting him to look at the lines too!

Welcome twinkle so sorry to hear your news, really hope you find this bunch of lovely ladies as helpful and supportive as I have!

I got my letter through for next scan yesterday 3rd Jan...which whilst a way away, with Christmas in the middle it actually feels quite close Have also been feeling a bit less nauseous but then this morning was hanging over the toilet again so maybe I was just being a bit hopeful!

Thinking we might be in need of some Friday cakes

Thanks Far and Baby still won't sink in until I have the words in front of me though, and certainly won't for DH either! What is it about men and needing to see something electronic confirming things??

Have a great holiday Far - hope you have a wonderful time

Oh poppy that is fantastic news, wonderful, and great news about your friend too!

Now try and hold out a few days, use the CB digi and then STOP (easier said than done, I know!!)

I am off on holiday for 2 weeks now all, I really hope when I come back there is lots more good news, scans, BFPs and general xmas cheer.

Our holiday is perfectly timed for some SWI so very much hoping for a BFP as well!

Poppy It looks like you've managed to bloody do it! Whooppeee! Fab that you have someone you can discuss it in so much detail with too who has first hand experience of how fraught this TTC lark can be. My best friend (a phrase a don't especially like) has never experienced MC and, lovely as she is with everything else, tends to be a hypochondriac with herself but falsely reassuring with everyone else ('clots and red blood in early pregnancy? oh, I'm sure it will be FINE' - that kind of thing) which can make things hard to discuss. As we have said before on this thread, it's a tricky thing to talk about in RL a lot of the time. Several of my friends have had mc's but mainly of the 'late period' variety (another phrase I don't like but it describes things well in this case) rather than the more traumatic carry on's the majority of us here have had the misfortune to experience.

Anyway, enough of that, and another congratuations! I keep feeling as if it's a long journey etc etc but I also then try and tell myself that I also currently (okay, lets ignore the bleeding from the other week) have no reason to think things are not going as they should. This may sound a bit fucked up, but I also think that if I didn't want to be pg I bet all the booze, fags (not that I do actually smoke but still...) and so on in the world wouldn't make me miscarry so surely it isn't that easy...?!

UPDATE.... Temp up again today, completely went against what I said yesterday and bought some more Superdrug tests. Yesterday afternoon faint BFP, told DH and he could see it too so don't feel quite so crazy. Didn't take the test apart

No more pink cm, no spotting and no AF. 16 DPO today.

Just did another Superdrug test with FMU, and another faint but definitely darker line.

Hmmm, I am starting to get a bit more hopeful now

I was out with a very close friend for dinner last night, her DC is 3 weeks older than my DS and she is about to start a course of Clomid to help her TTC no2. She is one of the only people who I talk to about the mc and TTC generally.

Anyway the waitress handed us the wine list and I said "are you drinking tonight?" and gave her a cheeky smile, and she said "well no actually, I have some news on that front - are you?"

Cue her telling me that she had been feeling odd for a few days so had taken a pregnancy test just to make sure before she took the drug that brings on your period so she could start using the clomid.

She had got a BFP that day, CB digi 2-3 weeks! So no Clomid required for her!

She said she had been praying and hoping all the way over in the car that I was pg too as she didn't want me to feel sad (she knows how long we have been trying) so when I told her about the test I had done that afternoon we were both over the moon!

I am keeping everything crossed that things work out for both of us, I know its such a long journey ahead and as we all know things don't always work out happily but if I dare myself to hope just a little bit it would be wonderful for us to go through this together

Happy Friday everyone!

Thanks for the welcome evryone!!!

B vits sound interesting! I'm taking a multivitamin to get my folic acid, which contains B vitamins I think!

Could I take an extra B vitamin as well? hhhmmmmm?

Heh, no problem manda, I didn't take it that way!

And iiiiinteresting. I wonder should I add a b-vit complex to my existing prenatal multivitamins (and vit C/zinc combo to get rid of ongoing respiratory lurgy).

tw1nkle Welcome. Sorry you've had to find your way here but I hope you'll find it supportive/informative and somewhere you can offload thoughts that you might not be able to in 'real' life.

leedy Egads, first of all I hope I didn't come across all 'there, there, dear, be careful what you're taking' condescending! I really didn't mean to if so!

Secondly, the b vit thing is how taking high dose b vitamins is very beneficial to women who have shorter than 'ideal' luteal phases (that the time from when you ovulate until you get your period). Particularly useful post mc when most women experience short lp/general disruption to cycle (later than usual O is also common - so if not charting or using opks, the woman may think her cycle is near normal because it's still the same length, even though her lp may be so short that pregnancy just wouldn't be possible). There's evidence it improves egg quality (as I said, seen in ivf patients that take high doses when stimming).

Further, many women, even those not actively ttc, feel just... better when taking it. Mild depression seems positively affected, as does stress.

All in all, it's very interesting indeed. But, it will never make a pharmaceutical company money, so there is no active research/advertisment of its seemingly very positive effects.

Hi Tw1nkle - I'm quite new here myself, but am finding it really lovely and helpful having folks to talk to going through (or who have gone through) the same stuff I am. Sorry that you have to be here, but it's a good place to be if you do.

What is the B vitamin thing, please?

Sorry Tw1nkle - crossed post. Welcome to the thread - so sorry for your loss, hope that AF makes an appearance soon so you feel like things are getting back to normal

Manda words of wisdom as usual

The tests I have taken so far are:

15th - Superdrug early test with afternoon U - faint squinty line
16th - Superdrug early test with FMU - faint line slightly darker than previous day.
Predictor test (don't know much about these) with Afternoon U - faint line
17th - First Response with FMU - BFN. Predictor with FMU - faint line

So the simple answer is that yes, you are right of course, I should stick to the same brand if I want to stay sane! But as you said, I just thought well First Response are supposed to be a better test etc etc. Oh well, as I said earlier what will be will be

Feeling a bit crampy today so keep rushing to the loo to check - good job its just me and DS in the house today, at least he doesn't think I am a complete loon (not for that reason anyway!)

Can't quite believe that the Bvitamin thing is so shrouded in mystery, with such amazing results even in our little control group it could do so much good for other women's LPs elsewhere too I am sure!

Can I join you all please?!!?
MC in September, my body is still getting over it and I have no idea what's going on with it!!!
I'll be quite pleased to see AF (now i don't say that very often!), to know that it's getting itself back to normal. The TTC#2 can commence......

manda, yes, I'm fairly aware of what I'm taking - I've been visiting the Chinese doctor I go to for years for various things and she's great: also very open to working with GPs/western medicine, which I like. I saw her when I was TTC DS, so the current (horrible) herbs are not new to me.

eve Fab Jr. is, indeed doing well. Is it possible DH exploded afterwards as a result of being stessed about the baby? He might not even consiously realise it... they do cope in different ways to us! Either way, I hope you made up and that you had a nice dinner that you could face to eat!

blue Wrt you friend, sadly, you're in a position to know that somehow it's better to be led by her as to how you can support her. I didn't feel it myself but I seem to remember a lot of us here have struggled with pregnant friends/family after the loss. If it may put her on the spot to out and out ask her if she'd like some space or if she'd prefer you just carry on as normal then perhaps an email?

wellies I think it's FAB you're excited about upcoming SWI! Let's face it, ttc can throw up odd feelings (SWI in and of itself feels somehow forced sometimes) so as long as it's not feeling like a chore then you're winning!

fall Glad the B vits seem to be helping you too! They really are something of a revelation - the esearch is quite clea that for some reason much higher doses than is the recommended daily amount will have this effect (and I believe poduce higher quality eggs - that effect is actually seen under the microscope in ivf patients). Yet it's some sort of secret? And many doctors will poo-poo the idea.well, it doesn't make money, does it? So odd. Thank goodness for the internet and the fact we're intelligent enough to educate ouselves.

pie Ugh! I hope the fact dear knobjockey colleague realised he was a twat means he'll think twice before ripping into the next person uninformed. Do they know you're pregnant yet at work? In an ideal world you would be able to confront your boss about his duty of care to his minions line workers but from the sounds of things it wouldn't help! Hope the chocs were good ones, at least! Oh, and yes, technically I am a MrsManda already... exDH and I have been seperated over five years and so can get a no questions asked quickie divorce when one of us pulls ou finger out and actually starts proceedings. I think was DF's way of hurrying me along (he's been saying for a long time now when am I going to sort it- it just seems there's always something else going on. The Sparkly definitely is motivation to get to it!) My ring is an emerald cut diamond (E on the colour scale, .8 of carat) with a smaller one either side set in platinum. My preciousssss!

leedy Glad you enjoyed the accu, but be slightly wary of taking teas/pills they give you... do a little research first. Herbs are very potent and it's good to walk into it with your eyes open, y'know?

poppy Right off the bat, I will say it's possible this will be a chemical. I don't think I'm saying anything you don't already know/ae worying about there.

However, what I will also say is this: didn't you use the superdrug early tests the last couple of times? If you want to see any kind of progression you must stick to the same brand test - I learnt that myself this pregnancy! I used the superdug early fo four days (four tests). They were getting slightly darker (but not excitingly, really darkly so). Then I went to buy some more and the FRER were on offer so I got those. Hey, I figured, these are 'better' tests (although I've read since that superdrug are actually moe sensitive). Well, they came out lighter than the superdrug ones and didn't get any daker at ALL over the next few days. One looked significantly lighter. As I still wasn't bleeding (but plenty crampy) I got some more superdrug ones when they were gone and they were significantly darker than the ones I'd taken 4 days previous. I did also take the digi with conception indicator just over a week apart and they moved up reliably but I've seen MANY posts on here were they haven't fo women who have had nomal pregnancies (and, sadly, those who haven't too) so they are a possible source of stress too.

For now, pink cm that has stopped, temp still up sounds implantation... it's just a little too early to know for sure when you're using a different brand of test!!

Blue I have a CB digi ready and waiting - I'll use it at the weekend if no AF by then. My temp was a bit lower than yesterday but still high so

Oh well, only time will tell now - I have had it with squinting at lines/no lines what will be will be

Thanks for the hugs - much appreciated! I am off out tonight for a rare evening out with a very good friend with DH on parental duty at home so I will make damn sure I have a lovely evening and try to forget all of this stress (may even order pate, goats cheese and anything with raw egg in it just to tempt fate )

Far your September experience sounds very too - so frustrating and your anniversary too - that really does suck.

Ooooh poppy that sounds very promising indeed so its not over yet then is it?
Gawd, the highs and lows are just too much sometimes aren;t they?

I had something similar in September though, positives that got lighter and with spotting.
Then negatives but no spotting at all for 2 days
Then AF
I don;t temp so I did not have any additional data points but it sucked. It was over our anniversary weekend as well :(