Brook No Argument, smack that rat and eat that pie. All those seeking pee stick endorsement welcome. AF keep out, stay out and bugger off for the next nine months

Imps, how's the spotting? Hope it's nothing xx

You've put my mind at rest Biscuits - I was starting to get worried about your brows!

All sounds a bit knackering for you at the moment Baby. Where are you in your cycle? Hoping for you sake that it isn't Peak Shagging Time - sounds like your time would be better spent catching 40 winks!

Imps - fertile yes, but don't mention my eyebrows....

Scrambled I'm so sorry about AF. Don't feel bad for having a little wobble. I have one every month. I can't wait for us all to be comparing our war birth stories in July, when we will have completely forgotten about this stupid TTC crap. I'm thinking we will have to change the thread title to brooking no argument for quiet babies who sleep all night. We had better drop the rat smacking apart in case anyone gets the wrong idea

Imps step away from fertility friend now! I'm also shocked about your alcoholism I always thought you where such a good girl. Here's hoping your going to do a Meconium

I'm a bit tired, am on nights again. I had a nightmare morning. I normally finish work at 07:45. I didn't leave until 08:20 this morning and got stuck in bad traffic. Didnt get home until 09:50. I only live a 15 minute drive away then I had to walk my dog. I was feeling very sorry for myself!

Cake men eh?! My DH actually said to me I should get myself some new underwear as my stuff was looking a bit old. Well excuse me, I dont see him putting on some sexy pants & seducing me!

Farfalla glad your ovulation is sorting itself out. Annoyingly your DH is being sensible I agree

Little I'm glad I'm not the only one led astray by maternity sales!

Biscuits, you Fertile Myrtle you! You put the rest of us to shame...

Yup, honestly, you wouldn't believe it but I and this awful ingrowing eyebrow hair and the consultant looking at it just happened to double up in fertility stuff too - I mean, what are the chances.....

Oh and the visits to the fertility clinic? That was about something completely unrelated....

Well I've said all along that this pg was just a happy accident, I mean the fact I had a fertility monitor etc and we'd been having unprotected sex for almost 2 years was just a coincidence and carelessness respectively.

Honest guv....

It's really strange this whole how-long-did-it-take thing. My cousin told everyone that her DD was conceived within 2 months, and my mum bizarrely took great pleasure in gloating to us all that she knew that it had taken them 9 months. This situation has always confused me for two reasons:

a) Did my cousin think that there was something shameful in taking 9 months to conceive?
b) Did my mum really feel so pleased/smug that it had taken them much longer than my cousin had said to the extent that she had to tell everyone? Seriously, why the fuck does it matter??

It's similar to the whole epidural thing when giving birth - a lot of my friends who didn't have an epi make a big deal about it as though it's some sort of badge of honour; a lot of my friends who did have an epi have told me they feel a bit ashamed/embarrassed that they "gave in". Again - why the fuck does it matter??

Wowzers, sorry for the rant - it just really annoys me that there is so much unnecessary stress/expectations added to what is already an emotional experience which, lest we forget, we actually have next to no control over ourselves!

OOOOOHHHHH I've just remembered - it's the final of Great British Bake Off this evening!! Mary-Ann to win!!

scrambled I know how you feel, we will be here when you want to return.
cake I know what you mean about accidents, I think its bollocks. I also know someone who tells everyone they got pregnant first time they tried whereas I know it took them 6 months. I have no idea why women do this to the sisterhood!
The consultant I saw said normal is 6-9 months and upwards, anything less than that is actually very very quick.

imps I am with you on the booze front. I have cut down significantly this month and have ovulated 2 days earlier than normal, I am hoping to see a lengthening in the luteal phase too.

this website is very helpful for eveidence based research wasting a whole day at work and also confirms generic's vitamin C and progesterone theory.

sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/diet-and-miscarriage/alcohol

Scrambled oh gosh I really feel for you, hope you feel upto brooking real soon..be good to yourself in the meantime..

Imps that is very interesting , sounds a bit like the study I undertook on the correlation of bleeding gums & vitamin B complex, yes I do believe you are onto something there!

Cake don't be disheartened you will be next :)

Accident my arse. I'm sure that's what she's telling her OH everyone. Chin up lovely.

Yes, I know, I did drink a bit much really, but I swear it was my only vice! I am a very healthy person in all other respects despite a penchant for baked goods!

Ps imps I had no idea you were such an alcy but I'm sure you're right about the science bit

Oh scrambled I hope you're ok. We'll brook for you until you want to pick up those pom poms again

imps hope for some good news either way

I have just had another colleague announce her 'happy accident' and another wave a scan picture in my face. I'm desperately trying to focus on my delicious caffeine free redbush tea and not cry Pfft accidents, it's lies I tell you!

Hello Scrambled. Take all the time you need to pick yourself up. It's a tough business this TTC malarky.

In interesting developments, I've just had some teensy weensy bits of brown CM. This is consistent with the-day-before-AF-starting spotting. The interesting bit is that if AF does start tomorrow (which, given the cramps feels likely) this will be my second cycle in a row where my LP is 14 days, rather than the 11 or 12 that it has always been! Now, it cannot be any coincidence that for these two cycles I have properly properly cut down on alcohol - I have always been a bit of a drinker (30+ units a week usually (I know, I know ) but for the last two cycles I have reduced this to a maximum of 10 a week. This must surely prove beyond any reasonable doubt that booze = lower progesterone = not good for baby making. They can therefore cancel all of those expensive medical research studies - I am the only proof they need!

It is definitely no bad thing to have a 14 day LP rather than an 11 day even though it does make my long cycles even longer. Although I'd much rather have a BFP, I'll take a 14 day LP and a lovely OH who is properly on board for starters!

Hi all, thanks for the support. I'm feeling a little bit fragile at the moment, so will step away from the thread for a few days until I get my mojo back if that's ok.

Imps ah clearly those pee-sticks are defective. It's the only explanation.

See you all in a little while, when I expect an absolute slew of BFP's!

"fo shizzle". I am going to have to get this into at least 4 conversations at work today!!

Cake your DH sounds far too fussy for his own good. It's not all frilly knickers and saucy brassieres in this game, oh no. Big pants and jeans will just have to do sometimes!

imps step away from the charts! don't be discouraged by the evil pee sticks, your lack of AF is the key thing fo shizzle :o

hope you are feeling better this morning scrambled

DH denied me SWI last night the cheek of it. He said I wasn't allowed to come in, change out of my nice dress and nice knickers, put on big pants and jeans and then try to demand swi... why ever not?!

Arg somebody PLEASE take Fertility Friend and its blessed charts away from me!!! I can't stop searching for charts like mine!!!

Amen to that.

Thank god for mumsnet, don't know what I do without you lot to vent

Yes I do hide said antics from OH! I think he'd rather just know if I'm up the duff, rather than discussing wee and sticks etc with me :)

I do see your DH's point. Damn him!

Love it, 3 sticks in the ramekin!!!

Do you hide your antics from your DH? I know I have to as he already thinks I am a bit mentalist and then I worry he won't want to boff me anymore :)

DH has a point, if I do get updiffed, its likely to go the same way again so better just to wait it out and get a plan of action from the consultant. I know he is right deep down but still rues the day she married an accountant

It was a double whammy this morning Farfalla - an internet cheapy, a Superdrug own brand (which I'd forgotten I had until cleaning out the wardrobe yesterday) and an OPK for good measure!

I would love to have either an April or an October baby, if I was being really very picky indeed. However, I'll take a June one if it's on offer!

Damn those blimin' sensible OH's. If you get an ironic BFP and a lovely June baby then the ££s will be the last thing on your mind!

imps are you using internet cheapies? They really vary in quality, even from the same batch so I would not rely on them too heavily

scrambled so sorry about AF, witch :(

I am thinking it might be nice to have a September baby, its so pretty outside and autumn is my favourite time

Got my peak/smiley face yesterday, only on day13 which is 2 days early for me and now panicking this month I am actually going to have a decent luteal phase and waste it. Tried to convince DH we should go for it anyway and get an ironic BFP but he rightly said no, no point spending ££ on tests if I am updiffed for them. Why does he have to be so sensible ?

Hello scream and meconium nice to see you lurking about in conception and hopefully we will close this thread down soon and move over :)