With angel babies in the sky, some of us expecting rainbow babies, others still ttc and definitely swi!!

too when I was pg I wasnt very hungary and used to eat till full and I craved lots of good things like Tomatos (even though I hate them) and apples and spinach.
But now I just dont have the energy or something, like yesterday I have been on this healthy eating plan for two weeks now and yesterday I went home for lunch and ended up having a crisp sandwich and a cheese sandwich on top of the healthy lunch I had taken to work! And then DH took me out for a meal. Naughty girl, though today I will be good and do at least 45 minutes on the wiifit when I get in. I think thats my problem is exercise, since the birth I havnt got back to my old strength and falling down the stairs two months after didnt help either. But I find I cant walk as fast or do much, so I need to work that up. Might start riding into work tomorrow, that might help. And as we have said before losing weight can help with a bfp too.

Mel, I'm sending you lots of love and hugs and hope - I have every fibre crossed for the BFP getting stronger and stronger and everything being absolutely fine and healthy.

Ciwi - that's so sweet of your parents! I'm so glad they did something to acknowledge the day. Happy Birthday sweet Ciaran.

Blue, get well soon, and I have my fingers crossed for you getting the house.

August, I understand about the puppy - a puupy isn't a baby and it won't help. My mum adopted a puppy not long after Thea died, and I found it quite hard, weirdly, and it wasn't even my puppy! Still, I bet your little dog is very cute and it will start to feel like part of the family in its own way soon. What kind of puppy is it?

Shakey, yay for the heartbeat and little hiding baby. I tend to get reassured by scans for a short time but then it wears off again.

Razz, yay for the good scan too!

Green, I have been doing lots of comfort eating too . Have just had a sausage sandwich for breakfast, and dinner last night consisted of a slab of Fruit and Nut and some leftover gratin dauphinois. I do take vitamins, though! It is just that neither of us can be bothered to cook right now - planning to go shopping for some healthy, vegetable-filled ready meals on the way home so that we don't have to cook or eat junk. I have heard that just starting a diet can often result in a BFP...

Love to all!

Feel bad now that I said I hate the puppy, I don't hate him. We got him from a rescue centre, something nice for the dc and they love him even though he's a bit annoying - chewing their toys and trying to nick their biscuits. And actually he's keeping me busy and will make me get out and about for walks and I talk to him when dc are at school and dh is at work. And he is sweet really.
blue have you tried Cystopurin for the UTI? Its rank but flushes you out :)

shakey so glad your got to see your little one, I think none of us will ever be able to fully love being pregnant again. The hurt and the pain of thinking that we will never have a baby. I agree with august just try to think that you will be seeing your baby next time and try not to think of anything else.

blue hope that uti gets out of here ready for the weekend! Do you drink cranberry juice? this might help you when swi and stop you getting uti. Worth a go?

Blue x-posts - oh no, hope you don't miss out on the house... fx for that too

mel sorry, that was me being "selfish" and moaning about how I feel and I forgot that actually you could have a BFP, I really and truly hope it is and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we'll all be overjoyed for you and be here every step of the way.

Morning.
Ciwi thinking of you x
Mel I understand exactly what you mean. It doesn't sound selfish, we just feel wretched and everything's wrong. We were ttc, I was doing ovulation tests and then a few days ago I just felt like giving up. DH doesn't understand, I don't either really. I just don't want to swi, don't feel like it, or do these tests just for them to tell me that nothing's happening. And we've got this puppy and I hate it. It's not his fault poor thing but he wouldn't be here if everything was "normal", if we hadn't been derailed. I just want my baby Jacob and nothing else.
blue hope the UTI clears up quickly
shakey sending positive vibes, just think you will get to see your baby again when you go back for measurements

Happy Birthday to my beautiful baby boy, I love you more than words could ever say and think about you every minute of every day, I hope you know that xxx
mel We all understand how you feel and have all been there. Your line sounds very promising but I also know how you feel in not getting too excited, I felt like that after my mc too, I have everything crossed for you x
blue hope your uti clears up soon and you can get on with swi, fx for you this month too x
Ciaran got a card from my mum and dad this morning with money in it for his birthday present, it was lovely and we are going to use it for a memory box but it did upset me thinking that things just shouldn't be like this x

morning

mel dont apol for being selfish and negative thats what we are here for (hugs) everyone here understands how you feel

ciwi thinking of you and your angel today

razz good news from the scan

blue booo to the UTI i also usually am quite sensitive to getting them

i hamy scan yesterday and was relieved when they found the heartbeat straight away. however have to go back in 2 weeks as she couldnt get the measurements she needed as baby was hiding in the pelvis so could only measure from belly up! from scan i am 20+2 now. however my DH thought i would be alot less worried now that scan was over but i still cant shake the feeling something will still go wrong.

wishing everyone a good day even though the weather is awful

mel I feel exactly what you are feeling. We so desperatly want to get pg and then we are so scared to as well. Its not fair that we have had to go through this. I to have been close to tears over everyone elses pain especially ciwi, Angel, Too and cheese.
Its not a selfish post mel we are all here feeling the same, and we all know how it is, so we are the best people to read these posts.
I got a little upset yesterday when my mum was talking about Ophelia but couldnt use her name and just called her the baby!
mel I really hope that line gets darker and darker and you get a uber positive BFP this weekend, you deserve it. Fingers crossed that I shall be joining you shortly. have some and from me.

Hi girls, been very emotional the last few days and have been crying for all our precious babies. I hate that we have these dates to get through! However, we have the strength to do it.
AF is due this weekend and I'm too impatient for it. Actually feel like I'm about to get it with the usual cramping but decided that I'd like to torture myself a bit so decided to test early. Test yesterday had nothing, test today had a really faint line (and no, I'm not just seeing things). However I just feel really crap about it all and think I'm never going to get pregnant and have a living baby. Sorry for being so negative about what could potentially be something positive but I'm just terrified of never getting a baby x
(sorry it's a selfish post too - I am thinking about everyone and what they're going through especially Ciwi today) xx

DH took me out last night for dinner which was good, hes such a sweetie.

too stay strong, I hope this is the only blip you have this pg and that everything is fine.

ciwi thinking of you, I hope you have a gentle day. And enjoy the cake.

jane that is a lovely idea to give away Zoes moses basket a lovely gesture.

I have signed up to make a few squares for the condolence mumsnet blanket they are making for chipmonkey whose baby died. I thought as Im a crocheter I might as well lend a hand.

Well Im off to work in a moment, swi at the mo to due to impending ov today? thats if it happens, havnt had the usual run up of near pos ov tests. But we shall see. Though Im not going to get too upset this month if I dont get a bfp I am really over weight and I am trying to do something about it, Ive put on nearly a stone since I had Ophelia, its not good! (damn you comfort eating)

Jane that's a lovely thing to do. Xxx
Ciwi as I said your cake sounds lovely xx
Razz fab news. As we all know things can change so quickly however try & find a little relief in todays's results. Throughout this pregnancy I ve taken every stage step by step it's all any of us can do. Xxx hope you sleep well tonight. Xxx

Hi everyone, I am quite proud of the cake, it's not perfect but it's made with lots of love and for someone who is not very artistic I think it's quite good. I will try and post a pic tomorrow when I have done all the finishing touches.
too I feel for you with this amnio hanging over your head. To be honest, Ciaran's birthday is distracting me from the doppler scan but I do worry when I stop to think about it. I am 17+4 today x
jane thats a lovely idea to donate Zoe's moses basket x
razz great news about the nuchal test x
angel just one week to go! Hope you get plenty of rest this week then x

Hello all
Im going to be quick as so very tired. Worked the night last night then drove straight to oxford when shift was over....took me 2 hours to get there!! My appointment was for 10am and I didnt get seen until 1230. Had scan and they did nuchal test, measurement was fine. As I predicted they want me to return in 2 weeks to be 100% but baby is looking fine at the moment. I dont have a feeling of relief as I no only too well that it could all change next time.
cheese I am also sleep deprived but so desperate for some so you have my sympathy.
too I really do understand your dreadful wait and no wonder you cant concentrate, has the date for the amnio stayed the same??
angel glad that yesterday was peaceful for you. How lovely to be able to do things at your own pace. Enjoy your last scan x
green what a dreadful dream, try to have a really calm evening before bed tonight.
jane it is lovely that you feel able to donate Zoe's moses basket, what a very kind thing to do.
ciwi best wishes for tomorrow and enjoy the cake. If you feel able to it would be great if you posted a picture as I would really love to see it.

cheese yay for movements, I loved to feel Zoe squirming about, i miss the feeling so much.

too Im sorry you are feeling so rubbish just now, I am praying everything is ok with bean. hugs to you.xx

angel wow 7 more sleeps until gils! hope the week zooms past for you.

I am donating Zoe's moses basket to the maternity unit she was born, they have a shortage of them and I would love to help. We found it so comforting that Zoe was in a pretty moses basket in the hospital.

Ciwi thanks. Yesterday was nice really & what can you do??? We can t stop time can we??? Your cake sounds lovely. It's Ant who is the cook/ baker in our relationship. He's just baked a load of scones for my work colleagues. Hope tomorrow is not too painful xxx
Was it you who asked when my section is ??? Can t remember!!! It's next Tuesday the 18 th.
Cheese glad you ve got your appts/ scan sorted. Insomnia going on here also!!! Thankfully , it's bearable now as can nap in the day. Was a nightmare when I was at work.
Too poor you. It must be a very worrying time for you. I so hope everything turns out ok for you & the next few weeks fly by.
Green don t know about you but I do find when I m pregnant I have the mist vivid , horrible dreams. Mine are not so much horrible but really odd relating back to friends from 15 years ago!!!! Hope you dream better tonight x
Hi Blue, hows the house going? Any news?
Hi Jane hope you re ok?
Hi Shakey hope you re well? How many weeks are you now?
Love to all. Hope everyone's ok?
Last scan tomorrow !!!( 10th scan of this pregnancy!!!) & seeing my consultant afterwards. Then hair appointment....
Nice to be off work & chilling , pottered today & a bit of cleaning.
Love to all xxxx

Blue it does and it doesn't, if that makes sense! Certainly makes me smile when I feel the movements though :)

ciwi will be thinking of you tomorrow, hugs. The cake sounds lovely, I'm not great at baking unfortunately.

Too I'm 17+3 now :) Hugs, I'm not surprised your worried, really hope the amnio goes smoothly with no complications and that the results come back good too.

I've got my anomaly scan booked now, the 28th of this month at 8am, so at least no waiting about! Then I have two consultant appointments from 9am so a busy morning. They wanted it done before my appointment so they could see how big the baby is. Hoping to find out that all is well, Scarlett had echo genic bowels at her 20 week scan so I'm quite nervous.

Knackered again today, only managed about 4 and a half hours sleep, can't seem to do it lately.

How far along are you two, Cheese and Ciwi? I'm still not feeling anything definite - sometimes I think I feel a kick but I'm never certain. Most of the feelings are on the left of my tummy and I'm not sure if they're Bean or not. I'm 15+4. My bump is massive!

Green, that's such a horrible dream. You poor thing.

Ciwi, thinking of you for tomorrow.

Angel, when is your ELCS booked for? I know it's really soon!

Have started freaking out about the amnio now. I can't concentrate properly at work and I don't think I'm really fit to be there, but I will probably take most of next week off and then I've got 4 days booked off the week after because BIL and family will be here, so I feel like I can't miss any more time when we're so busy. I am alternatively torturing myself with a) Bean will have Down's, b) I will miscarry as a result of the amnio and c) they will scan me to begin the amnio and Bean will have died. I don't know how I will cope if any of these things happen. I've arranged for the community MW to come round on Tues morning to listen for the heartbeat and I'm going to ask her to come back every day that week to reassure me.

Hi everyone, thanks for all your kind messages yesterday, it was a hard day but I got through it by concentrating on the cake I am making for his birthday tomorrow. I have practised it now and it's looking good, just making the proper one now after being shopping for blue food colouring all day (eventually found some).
cheese my movements are getting stronger now too but still not very many (just about a couple a day) my bump is surprisingly big too!
green it seems that awful dreams are common amongst all of us, they are so horrible though x
angel I am glad you managed to have a nice day, Georgie will be proud x