With angel babies in the sky, some of us expecting rainbow babies, others still ttc and definitely swi!!

Dachs, that's great news! Phew! Don't feel silly for worrying - how were you meant to know what it was? You aren't a doctor! Hooray - now you can concentrate on your little healthy bean.

Spilt, hello! So pleased to hear you're getting on well and the feeding is getting easier. I like what you say about the comfort Freya is to you - it sounds just right. Not a replacement, but a comfort. It's so sweet!

Angel, Ciwi and Spilt, hope your first anniversaries go as well as possible. I'll be in a very similar position to you, Angel, when March comes around - Thea was born on 13 March and this baby will probably be delivered around the 22nd, so not a very long gap between one birthday and the next. I'm quite glad that we'll have Thea's birthday first, before we have the new baby - it feels like she'll get that much more attention.

Ciwi, I think we're going to get a greyish blueish granite stone too. As you say - black seemed too dark and neither of us particularly liked the whitish/greyish speckled granite.

Mama, hope work is going ok - at least everyone is being nice! It sounds really hard to deal with other people being pregnant around you. I've missed that, thank God, as my work is mainly men and I think of all the women in the office, there are only about 6 of childbearing age including me!

I've been napping for most of the evening - completely wiped out. Unfortunately, that means I'm now awake at half past 10 and not really sleepy. Boo!

Certainly do Ciwi . we ve got a scan early on Georgie's birthday then we ve got a special place we go to where we ll lay dome flowers for her, then out for lunch. It's incredibly hard to know what to do. I think 'll be another very sad day; another first. Xx

great news diffed, sorry you had all that extra stress though, glad you didn't burn the house down too!
angel and Spilt looks like we all have 1st birthdays around the same time, Ciaran's birthday is on the 12th October, can't believe it's been a year already and part of me doesn't want the year to be over, It feels a bit like Ciaran's year and I don't know how I feel about that coming to an end. I also want to do something special but I don't know what, nothing seems special enough if you know what I mean x

yehDiffed sounds good. You still got a scan on Thursday?
Hi Spilt so glad alls going well..Bobbie's birthday is a day before Georgie's (10th October) it's coming round so quick Isn t it?
I m finishing work 7 th October. Didn t want lots of time at home before section date(17th October) as had all that last year pre-Georgie. I ve got 2.5 weeks to work, 1 week AL then 1 last week at work. Busy the week before the section also; it's Georgie's birthday, got a scan, consultant appointment, 2 hospital visits for steroid injections so , hopefully time will go quickly.
I like my work andy colleagues are fab so apart from being totally shattered and having canckles I m quite happy to be there. They have been a tremendous support throughout the last 3 years. I m knackered now as Tuesday is our long day don t finish to 8pm!!!
Hi all hope you re all well?? Xc

I had another scan today.

The person today doesn't think it's an ectopic. They think it's a burst cyst from the ovary, the shadows which were visible are the remnants of the follicles stimulated for the IVF and that the fluid which is visible in the pelvis isn't blood but perfectly normal. So all that stress for a day and a half was just a waste of energy!

Am now:
very wet as got soaked in the rain
feeling silly for all the stressing since yesterday.

Also, I feel like a complete idiot as I had to leave the house v quickly after I found out about the scan so that I could get there in time, and I was in the middle of preparing dinner and forgot to turn the gas hob off. It occurred to me after I got to the station that I may have left it on as I didn't remember turning it off, so I called the PIL as they have a spare key and asked them to check (they live about half an hour away) and it was on so I'm glad I asked! Dinner was, of course, completely burned by the time they got there!

Hi everyone,
dachs so sorry that you are having this added worry, I am sure everything will work out right for your little one x
cheese glad your hubby is a bit better, good luck for your appointment x
too I hope you find the headstone that is right for you. We picked ours quite quickly as we were desperate to get something in place. It went up about 3 months after we lost him. we chose a kind of grey/blue colour as it was less harsh than a black one for a baby (we were advised on this and if you go to a good memorial place they should help you too).
Lots of luck to all those ttc x

Ohhhhh Dachs - my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours - praying that all will be well! glad that your boss is ermm supportive!!!!
Green - oh that is such awful news about your friend, i hope she gets full support from all around her!having hope is one thing but to be told it will never happen must be soul crushing!
Cheese - i hope your trying not to stress, positive news about your DH thats really good, lets hope it continues and you can relax and enjoy being pregnant!
Too - i hope you find something that you like, and im glad it wasnt as hard as you thought, - sending you strength vibes xx
ohhhh Split - sorry for the painful nipples, it will settle soon! that was nice visiting Bobbies grave,glad you was able to do that as a family, there are some covers( feeding covers) you can get for public breastfeeding really handy, not sure if shops sell them but def can order online!if i find the link will post it here later!
day2 at work not being pregnant and everyone being sooo nice and kind! I went off being pregnant to return to find a work mate very pregnant ( and i couldnt stop thinking my belly would of been bigger then hers right now! i would of known what i was having and everything!
hope everyone else is well?

Afternoon all,

Just wanted to say hello. I am still reading and rooting for you all, just struggle to get a chance to post at the moment!

dachs nightmare about the ectopic, I am so sorry. I hope they can safely treat you without losing your other little baby.

cheese thank goodness your DH is home with you all. Has your spotting gone away now?

too we're just starting the headstone thing now, it's taken us ages to face it. I'm a bit annoyed with myself now though as it's unlikely that it'll be up by the 9th Oct (Bobbie's birthday) and I would have liked it to be. We'll be going for a dark granite flat tablet I think.

angel when are you finishing work? Surely it can't be long now. Take care of yourself, the end of pregnancy is knackering.

green that's just tragic about your friend

Everyone else, hello!

Doing pretty well here, just being kept rather busy! Thank god feeding is going so much better and my poor macerated nipples are healing so it's getting less painful. I'm on my first day going solo, and DH is doing his first day back at work, poor love was really quite upset to have to leave us. I now realise just how many nappies he's been doing

We took DD to visit her big sister on Saturday for the first time. It was really special to all be sat there together, but somehow more upsetting than usual to be sat at our baby's grave with our baby. I suppose it was just very poignant. Of course DD then started screaming for a feed. I was far from appropriately dressed so ended up horribly exposed trying to feed her. Goodness knows what the etiquette is around breastfeeding in a cemetery, I felt pretty uncomfortable, but decided that letting her scream wasn't exacty considerate either.

dachs I think what you said about rainbow babies has been true for me. The ache and emptiness are dulled a bit. It's not that I don't miss Bobbie anymore, or that DD is a replacement for her, just that there is a lot of comfort in having a baby of mine in my arms, and she gives us a lot of joy where before there was so much fear and worry.

Well, that was kind of a wasted trip. It turned out that the memorial shop didn't know what the restrictions were on the baby section at our cemetery, and nor did we, and a phone call to the local council got us nowhere as they were closed for lunch! So we picked up a brochure and price list but we still don't know what size we're allowed to have. I suppose the one helpful thing is that we've decided against white marble because it doesn't stand up to the Scottish weather very well, so that basically leaves us with some sort of granite. It was less upsetting than I thought it would be because it was so short and inconclusive.

Oh too, be kind to yourself today, if it all becomes too much then leave and try again another day. Our situation was a little different as after much deliberation we decided to bury Thomas with my Grandad, in his plot. After many wobbles about it we felt that there would always be plenty of people visiting the grave and the childrens section was really quite neglected which made me so sad . I cracked on really quickly with the headstone as it was important for me that it was aknowleged that Thomas was there also. It finally went up at the beginning of last month so a little more than 3 months after his delivery. It gave me peace straight away.
I really hope that when you have chosen your special headstone for Thea it brings you and your Dh the same comfort that it brought me.
I will say that my best friend lost her father to cancer 15 months ago and she along with her mum and brother has been unable to select one yet. They just cant face it.
Sending you lots of special thoughts.

Cheese, so glad your DH is doing better! Good luck today - let us know how you get on.

Dachs, that's really good that your GP is keeping such a close eye on you - it's what needs to be happening in this situation. Also good that your boss is managing to be human! Wishing you all the best.

Green, your poor friend. What a horrible thing to have to deal with.

Today I am going to a sushi restaurant for lunch with DH and then we are going headstone shopping. I am really not looking forward to item 2 on the agenda but it's got to be done and I'd rather do it when I'm not at work. I have to find the certificate of laity we got sent - don't know if it's called that in England - the certificate saying that we own the grave plot. How long did it take you guys to get around to headstones? It's been almost exactly 5 months since the funeral and DH didn't want to do it earlier. I don't like to go into the cemetery and see dying flowers and nothing else marking the grave, though.

Dachs they're going to give you the best of care and do everything they can for you. Hopefully they'll be able to make things move faster so that you're not spending all this time stressing. Thinking about you x

cheese Glad the situation with DH is not as bad as feared - I hope things continue to improve.

green Sorry for your friend :(

Am freaking out slightly as my GP called me at home late last night and said they were really worried about the possible ectopic so could I go in again this morning for another check up. However, on the plus side I rang my boss afterwards to tell her that I wouldn't be in today, that I was pg and that I also had a suspected ectopic and she was actually sympathetic - I nearly keeled over and died of shock!

Morning all
cheese so pleased things have improved with your DH. Hope all goes well at your appointment, did you say you are having a scan as well?
green well done for a good first full day back at work. How awful for your friend to be told that news.
mel and blue heres hoping self control can be yours until Sunday
Do you no what jane I do think its good to take a ttc break every now and again just to destress.

My two dc are back at school today, I think I am more excited than them . Sadly I am looking forward to getting on with project clean, my house really needs some TLC.............
Hope you all have good days.

Dachs I hope you are doing ok this morning, thinking of you.

Oh green for your friend. Im glad you day went well.

I have my fingers crossed for mel and blue! I should be on the 2ww now cd 18 for me, but I know for a fact I'm not pg this month. We only dtd twice well before I ovulated - Damn DF and his stag doo! It does feel quite good not to be stressing about symptom spotting or the wondering.

dachs How are you? I hope you are ok and Thursday comes around quickly for you. Hugs to you.

cheese so glad your DH is better, must be a load off your mind. I hope you can sleep easier tonight.

Mel and Blue fx crossed for a BFP for the both of you, Im sure you can both hold out!

First full day back was ok, only had a little blip but managed to control myself, so quite proud of myself really.

Dachs Im sending you so many good thoughts and karma and anything else I can think of, if anyone deserves it you do.

to all the pg girlies, I hope you have a gentle night and day tomorrow.

And to us still ttc, Im sending out positive waves! We will get pg.

Just found out a friend of mine cant have anymore children, shes had 4 miscarriages in 2 years, due to badly formed placenta. So I felt like We all needed some positive waves sent out to people. I feel so sorry for her.

Night all, sleep tight

Blue I was thinking of waiting until Sunday! Do you think we can hold off?

Try and relax and destress Cheese if you're able to! That's good news though.
Haven't got a clue when AF is due as we decided to just crack on with it after the op. I know that this month will be whatever it is, I just hope it's a bfp!

dachs so sorry to hear that, I'll be thinking of you and praying for the best xx

I'll catch up tomorrow after my hospital appt, I'm having blood sugars monitored as they questioned GD with Scarlett :(

Good news re dh, platelets went up to 16 and he had a leg and spleen scan which was clear so he was allowed home with more meds and to go back Friday for more bloods and next Tuesday clinic. Just has to go back if he bleeds again. So relieved! Been there all day though and knackered again.

Mel, FX for a BFP soon! When is AF due? Good luck!

Thinking about you Dachs and hope that Thursday comes around quickly for you.
Hope all is week with your DH Cheese and that they're resolving some of the problems.
I got a bfn on pg and ov tests again but still have symptoms. So either too early for testing or it's all in my head!
Hi to everyone else and hope that you've all had a good day x

Dachs sorry you ve had a crap day. Hope Thursday comes round very quickly for you. I m keeping everything crossed for you xxx thanks for nice sentiment about " rainbow" baby xx
Hi all. Hope everyone's well?
Cheese hope DH is ok?
I ve been so busy at work,,, where did all these patients come from??? Not good for the old cancakles!!!! Xxx