With angel babies in the sky, some of us expecting rainbow babies, others still ttc and definitely swi!!

cheese Im glad you are having a better day, like you say it is good they have caught the GD this early. Google is far too handy sometimes, it has turned into an enemy of mines lately! Good luck with the scan tomorrow, I'm sure all will be well though.

Afternoon all. Been an ok day, I've been put on insulin before lunch and before dinner and need to be seen by my consultant and another one on Friday morning. I'm really nervous about taking it but I tried out the needle/pen while we were there and it really hardly hurt at all. Facing a lot of fears!

Looking forward to my scan tomorrow afternoon but also worried that something might be wrong.

Too You didn't upset me! Sorry if I came across that way. My head has been all over the place and I've googled far too much but I'm getting to grips with it. I'm definitely looking at things in a new light, it really takes you back a step. It must have been hard for you as well, that they actually said the care you received was sub-optimal. Venting does help, it's all going round and round in my head otherwise and it helps to make sense of it all.

Mel hugs, sorry af arrived but glad you know where you are now and can get on with trying!

ciwi it's funny how you can suddenly "pop out" overnight :) I know nothing will change, it's just horrible thinking that I may have had GD and had it contribute or cause Scarlett's death. I am glad they've caught me early though.

mel Boo to AF, but at least you know where you are now cycle wise.

Hi girls, yep she's def here. I'm ok though and I've worked out my shifts around ovulation and it works out!!! Hubby can't wait .
Told work last night that I wad struggling a bit and that I want to keep my hours at 6 per shift for the next set at least. Supervisor was fine but he needs to run it past HR. Could see me being signed off yet then depending on what they say.
Ciwi yay to having to get mat clothes out, have to see this as being a good thing. Can't wait til it's my turn for that.
Cheese hugs to you and to your wee ones xx

Morning ladies, well got dressed for work this morning and my trousers will not fasten up! Put together some hairband style extension to get me through the day and the clothes are definatley going to have to come out of the loft tonight!
cheese sorry I missed you in my post last night, I know it's easier said than done but don't focus on what may or may not have contributed to you losing Scarlett. You won't ever know for definate and unfortunately it won't change anything but just cause you more distress. It is a good thing that they have picked it up early now, hope you are feeling a bit better today x
mel sorry af has arrived, fx you get you bfp this month x
I am off out with my sands friend tonight who I have recently found out is pg too, hopefully we can both support each other through it this time.

Oh Cheese, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you and I had no idea there were so many indicators with Scarlett. I shouldn't have said anything. Poor you, your head must be spinning right now. I'm sure you couldn't have done any more or pushed any harder - you went in 3 times with reduced movements and you told them about your symptoms - there wasn't anything else you could have done. If you get reassured by HCPs that everything is ok then you do believe them, because they are trained and you aren't. It's good that you have a hospital who are treating you properly this time and they seem to be more on the ball in general.

I know how it feels to be suddenly knocked over by some new information - you start re-evaluating everything that happened and re-interpreting it in light of the news and trying to remember every single tiny detail that might be relevant. It's exhausting and so, so sad. It was like that when the consultant suggested that my care had been sub-optimal - you start picking out every little detail that might have constituted poor care. You've had so much to deal with recently - it's not fair! Come on here and vent as much as you want, or can. I only hope it helps.

Mel (()) it's crap but as we say at least you know what's happening now and can get back to it ASAP. Xx
Too my friends at work have suggested I travel to and from work in joggers and I have to confess in the last 2 weeks I might. I ve got some new jogging bts and I would literally be in and out of the car but still can t quite bring myself to it!!! Mmm .. X

Quick post before I head out to work, think that's af coming. Slight spotting. Probably be confirmed tomorrow. Never mind, at least I'm going to know where I'm at x

Too Well the PM did actually have indications as did I during the pregnancy. I had high sugar levels in my urine on a number of occasions, fluid levels were high which meant she had more room to move, she was bigger than she was supposed to be according to them, organs were enlarged from pm, immature villi (I think that's part of the bowel), so a lot did point towards GD with that pregnancy which could well have contributed. The consultant thought a cord accident as she was wrapped tightly in it but then a lot of babies are born like that, I've read a third of all babies and they're fine. Also she had hypoxia before she died the pm said and this is another thing that untreated GD can cause apparently.

I had symptoms too, I told them a lot towards the end and went in at least 3 times for reduced fetal movements. Maybe if I'd done more or pushed more for something then it wouldn't have happened. The more I think about it and the more I read, the more it seems that the GD played a part in her death and I think I had it as the high sugar experiences I've had recently feel exactly the same as I did with Scarlett at times. It brought back how awful I felt at times.

Nothing we can do now but at least if I'm treated better now then the chances should be lower of it happening again.

Sorry for epic post there, I've not been able to stop all this going round and round my head since finding out more and it's horrible.

I need new bras too, I've been so many different sizes from pre-pregnancy, during, after etc!

I mean, I was only back into my pre-pg jeans for about a week before getting my BFP and promptly outgrew them again. Ah well.

Angel, I find maternity trousers in general awful - they don't stay up properly and I spend my whole time yanking them up. I can see why dungarees used to be so popular. Might actually consider getting a pair for weekends for sheer comfort. I wore dresses to work almost continually after about 28 weeks the last time - the trousers were just too uncomfy. When I was on mat leave I wore non-pg joggers, but I wore holes in the crotch so they've been binned now and I'll need some more. I refused to wear those anywhere someone might see me, though (ie, Tesco was ok but going into Edinburgh meant a dress and tights!).

Cheese, sorry to hear about the GD. Hopefully this will be the last shock for a while and you can relax a little. Try not to think like that about Scarlett - from what you've said in the past, it could well have been a cord accident and that would have nothing to do with GD. They didn't flag up anything like that in her PM, did they? Be gentle on yourself - it's not your fault.

Blue, at your doctor and the mess up with your medical notes! Pelvic floor op my ass! Maybe try making an appt with the doctor you like and going into all of it in more detail? As Ciwi says, it might be worth trying to stick to one nice doctor even if it means waiting longer for appts. My MW arranged for both DH and I to see the same doctor after Thea was born and she has always been really nice to us both. The slight downside is that now I am ashamed to go in for something trivial like a verruca because she's been used to dealing with me for grief and stress! (But the verruca needs to come off one day so I will have to bite the bullet eventually) FX that your BFP will come along soon and cheer you up (and you too, Mel!).

Angel, 6lbs with a month yet to go - wow! What a little sweetheart. Glad to hear all is well. I'm fine for just now - booking scan not til 28th so am trying not to think about it too much yet.

Ciwi and Cheese, I had my maternity jeans on on Thurs because I only have one pair of normal jeans that fit and they were in the wash! My normal jeans are a size bigger than usual (post-preg cheapo jeans so I had something to wear) - I was only just back into my pre-preg jeans with a shoehorn so hopefully those will do for a wee while. I need new bras, though.

Ciwi I find maternity clothes crap. I tend to buy fatty clothes from " new look" from their inspire range. Jeans I have found an absolute nightmare. I got a couple of pairs from Asda and find they re either too loose and I have to wear a belt, then too tight if I ve got a belt on!!! I m mostly living in linen trousers from New Look. Very difficult and than god I ve got an uniform for work now ( we used to wear our own clothes). Hope you feel less sickly soon xxx

Angel that scan will be difficult for you :(

blue that doesn't sound good at all. I'm lucky to have a really good dr that goes out of his way to help, in fact all the drs there are really lovely.

ciwi I've been in mat clothes for a while now, tops are ok the longer ones at least, but jeans/trousers I haven't been able to wear the usual ones for weeks.

Getting blood out has been hard the last few times, it's taken me 3 or 4 attempts at pricking to get enough blood to test with! My poor fingers hurt!

blue i really feel for you. I eventually found a doctor that was really good and she always asks how I am feeling even if I go in for thyroid tests or something. The other thing that has really helped me is acupuncture, the acupuncturist takes a detailed history from you and takes emotional, psychological and phyical symptoms into account before deciding how to treat you. I think it has really helped me and it can help shorten cycles too. Fx you already have your bfp though so won't need it x
mel Hope you get your bfp this month too and green it must be very frustrating to not know when to test x
angel yay for the good scan, glad Gils is growing well x
jane how exciting, having your wedding coming up! you will have a lovely day x
Waves to everyone else x
Not much to report here except that my morning sickness seems to be getting worse! at 13 and a half weeks I really hoped it would start getting better, also my wardrode is getting to be extremely limited, think I might have to be brave and get the maternity clothes out of the loft soon. Anyone else in maternity wear yet? It's mainly trousers and jeans I need, tops are fine.

Mel & Blue hope your bodies settle soon. It's very frustrating isn t it? Good luck at the Drs.
cheese glad they are taking good care of you and GD. X
Green at least you re house plans are coming together. Hopefully , will take your mind off work. You know the old saying:" new house new baby"!!!!
Jane wow not long to your wedding? How exciting. You got much left to do? Are you going on honeymoon anywhere?
Too hope you re ok, I don t think any of us can approach scans without horrible thoughts coming flooding back. Even, now after 9 good scans I don t particularly relax throughout them they are a means to an end.
Hi all: my scan was good GILS already weighing about 6 lbs. She's a BIG girl we could see her lungs and chest cavity expanding and even hair on her head.
1 last scan to get through.; a month today ; on Georgie's birthday. Mmm... Bittersweet, xcc

Afternoon. I spoke to the diabetic nurse today after getting some high and low readings the past few days and she got her boss (her words!) to call me back when she was in. They're going to put me on either metformin or straight onto insulin. I'm in at the hospital in the morning with dh so she said to get someone to bleep her and she'll ask the dr tomorrow what he wants to do. She thinks it will be insulin given my history though. So, looks like I have gestational diabetes and I'm even more convinced now that I had it with Scarlett and it went undiagnosed. That could have been the actual reason she ended up stillborn :( we'll never know.

I'm relieved that something is being done now though. I'm far more impressed with this hospital, the previous one wasn't even going to test me until about 20/24 weeks and that was just a GTT. Lots to think about and read up on now.

Angel hope the scan went well. I look forward to them and don't in equal measures I think, I can still remember the scan with Scarlett where they told us she had no heartbeat, vivedly.

jane good luck for your wedding and with the TTC. Hope you feel less stressed this month after the break.

green definitely agree with the no stress but I find that hard myself, I'm always getting stressed.

blue I wasn't sure when I ovulated either, I had a really long cycle with this pregnancy but it worked. Fingers crossed for you. You should definitely ask about your cycle in my opinion, may as well and they might be able to help you with it.

Mel good luck and hope you get that bfp this cycle. Are you going to ask to be signed off for a while? I hope the gp appointment goes well.

Fingers crossed it's a good one then. Some docs are very black and White about pregnancy and related issues x

I'm going to the docs next week to discuss how I'm coping at work (or not as the case seems to be). First appointment was on monday but that's when the midwife is there so I wouldn't take it.
Blue you should discuss it with your GP at least to try and get some answers to try and work out your body. That'll help you understand what's going on and help you be relaxed about it all x

Angel, hope the scan goes well. I hate the waiting for them and the first few moments before the sonographer says it's ok. I always manage to wind myself up beforehand to a state of complete panic. Last time I had a really nice woman who took one look and said I can see the heartbeat, so I wasn't on tenterhooks for long.

Jane, only 10 weeks to the wedding - excitement! Hope everything's going well. Glad to hear you feel better about ttc after a wee break - FX for this month!

Green, DH is right - no stressing! It's really exciting about your flat - you must be over the moon.

Mel and Blue, you both have such promising symptoms! FX hard. Hoping for sneaky midweek test from at least one of you! Even though it is none of my business.

Yep good luck Angel - it's amazing the difference that you feel going for a scan after what we've been through. I remember getting excited the first pregnancy and now I look at them with dread! On a positive note though, you get to see your wee bubba!

I'm kind of same as blue. Really unsure where I am in my cycle. I had my op on 11th Aug so when things cleared up we just started trying. I'm normally 32 day cycle and have been for ages give or take a few days. Got bigger boobs slightly itchy sometimes, sense of smell is astronomical, crampy feelings that come and go, absolutely no bleeding, occasional queasiness, headaches and horrible taste in my mouth. I guess I'm going to probably say I'll next test next weekend, but might do a midweek test. Depends if I get to Home Bargains for some more of the cheapy tests . Saving my clearblue ones for confirmation tests!!
Lots of love to you all, hope you're all having a good day x