With angel babies in the sky, some of us expecting rainbow babies, others still ttc and definitely swi!!

Hi everyone,
mel thats great news and fx you will well be pg by then x
cheese I sometimes get palpitations, they are common in pregnancy I think, though they don't feel very nice!
green really hoping that this is your month x
Hi august and welcome, though sorry that you find yourself here x
Sorry girls, not doing too great with the personals at the moment. I am having a bit of a rough day, it's a few weeks till Ciaran's birthday and I am thinking a lot about this time last year. Little did I know that I would only have a few weeks left with my little boy, I thought I would have a lifetime. Work isn't helping either as I am part time on a study which involves follwing people up a year later so I am now contacting all the people I met with this time last year, it feels so much like rubbing salt into a wound. I just can't help thinking how happy I was and how quickly your life can change forever, sorry for the depressing post girls, it's just so hard sometimes x

Hi jane crossed posts with you. How are you doing?

August It is really difficult. We had the clothes in our room too and I often would see a babygrow or snowsuit and just think about what should have been and get upset. We went through them together eventually and it was hard, but easier than doing it alone. (hugs) I'm hoping it was just tiredness, hadn't really eaten anything for the few hours before and I've not had any today, touch wood! I read they're more common in pregnancy due to hormones too so, maybe that. They're currently playing the wii so at least taking their mind of the pain and sickness.

green dh bought a lovely little dress set from John Lewis along with my birthday presents in the November as we'd seen it a few times in there and I just loved it. It was meant to be her coming home outfit but we had her dressed in it after she was born in December and then buried in it along with the teddy it came with, letters we wrote for her and drawings from the children. It's quite upsetting thinking about it again, I guess we all have those days.

My skin is awful now I'm pregnant, usually it's clear and no spots but it's terrible so maybe that's a good sign for you! I really hope so. I remember feeling off for a week before I tested positive so I guess my body knew but it was too early to detect with a test. I really thought I was coming to come on though as it felt just like that, I was a little shocked when I got the positive result.

Mel that's really great news, so relieved for you. Must be a weight off your mind.

xx

green my fingers are firmly crossed for you!

august I too think you are so brave giving Jacobs things away. We have kept zoe's things with the aim of using them for her brother or sister (hopefully) one day. I still go into her room and look at her clothes too.

Fab news mel

cheese hope you are ok.

mel such good news! Yayyyyyy!

ok Ive started to obsess a bit, thinking of the symptoms I have, I have broken out skin is terrible this week, ususally this only happens when Im near AF as in the day before. CD22 today so that cant be reason and I have washed! Also that bit of pain yesterday. I woke up so hot the past two days Im boiling now sitting here in the office next to an open window!

Ok Im going to stop obsessing now thats it for today.

I just cant help myself.

Quick update, met with the nicest nurse for the occ health company. She was really good and said i'll be staying where I am and my hours will be staying at 6 per shift until after my hold in Nov. Hopefully be pg by then but she was fab and I feel a lot better. Just the grievance with hr to sort out and then that'll be me sorted at work. Hallelujah! X

august fx it is but Im not going to get to worked up this month about it. just fx it is implantation
I also think that is very brave of you to give away the baby things, well done you. If you felt it was right, we packed all ours away after 3 weeks in the loft ready for the next baby it didnt feel like Ophelias things and the stuff that did we put in her coffin with her.

cheese I remember haveing heart palps when last pg used to scare me.

Hi Cheese I agree the clothes have been the one thing that I just can't even bring myself to look at. Like you we also put pram, car-seat, moses basket and crib all away in the loft (well, DH did it) but I have this habit of just opening one drawer where all the clothes are and picking out a vest or hat and then I get all choked up. I think its mainly because the chest is in our bedroom that I can't stop thinking about it. I think it might help a little to go through it and have a cry, in a way I want to, but not alone, its so hard.

I hope your palpitations aren't anything serious - were you feeling panicky or anxious? Or some foods can cause that I think... chilli / chocolate ???

Hope your boys are on the mend x

Morning all. Tired this morning. Had some really weird and worrying palpitations last night, like my heart was skipping a beat, for about an hour. I'm putting it down to being exhausted though as I woke up ok this morning. Both sons off school, only daughter is in at the moment, hoping she doesn't get ill too. Miserable day out. Hope everyone has a good day

green good news about being moved, you must be quite relieved at that. Might be your month yet still.

Mel I hope so too, it's been one thing after another lately. Your work have been awful, I'm really sorry you're having to deal with that on top of everything else. I hope you get it sorted and they realise how difficult they're being.

Angel I know that it's low relatively but it doesn't feel that way and it's worrying. I wouldn't terminate anyway and wouldn't want invasive tests but it's still worrying to me and I would prefer to know.

Too Well I called the hospital and she explained that the risks were low, it was only my levels of free beta hcg which were high and so caused the result to be as it was but the other two measurements were fine. They were very reassuring but completely understood how I felt given my history. I hope your results are good next week. Thanks, ds2 has been breathing easier now with the steroids and the anti biotics should kick in too. Just glad it didn't get any worse. Dh is doing ok, his platelets went down again a little but not dangerously so, only a little! He's being seen every couple of weeks by the consultant at the moment until they get control of things and his steroid dose is still high too so they're working on lowering that.

Blue Tell me about it, we play the lottery but I'm not holding my breath, we're definitely due some good luck soon though. We're the same as you in that we'd always continue with the pregnancy but would like to know. My dad swears by manuka honey (not for conception obviously!) for immune and colds etc I think.

August it took us about 6 months to even start to through Scarlett's baby clothes, the things like moses basket that we were bought, blanets and pram we've put in the loft and my parent's garage straight away out of sight but it was really hard doing the clothes.

green ah, that explains it... when I read yr post I was thinking zoos and fork-lift trucks!

Your pain could be implantation... day 22 sounds about right if it was that. Actually, even if you missed your ov the little swimmers can live inside you for a good few days (allegedly) so you never know.... fx

Hi Angel, Too - my condolences for your angel babies and congratulations on the rainbows :)

Feeling quite peaceful today. I've invited one of my pg friends round for lunch on Thu as I have a huge chest full of baby stuff that I haven't been able to look at. Its been playing on my mind that I should go through it at some point so I've decided to give most of it to her. I know they're a bit strapped for cash and it seems wrong that it should all go to waste. I realise in some ways I should keep it all in case we're lucky enough to have another baby but this just seems the right thing to do and I'm sure my friend will take care of it and return it if and when my time comes. I have a few items that I bought for Jacob in his memory box. Still a bit daunted about seeing her lovely big bump (she's due on 4th October) - it will be bittersweet I'm sure.

Mel loving your planning, I'm going to buy some ov tests now so I can start keeping track...

Xx

august I am a gardener, so I have to use strimmers, ride on mowers, rotavators, chainsaws, I also do weed killing and moss killing and well you come into contact alot with faeces!

blue manuka honey never heard of it, please give us your honest opinion on if it works! Well I suppose we shall know if you get BFP this month.

I had some fibroid pain last night, certain it was, it was a sharp pain where they are, so hopefully they are dying. But then there was this little part of my that thought it could be implantation pain, or egg moving pain? if this exists? Im on day 22?

Good going Mel he he !!! " romance" what's that ????

Oops..... The head. I firmly believe what's meant for us won't go past us. Sucks sometimes though.
Yep Blue all done. 4 days this month which was a bit shorter but I'm thinking it was like that cause of the "clear out". Got my shifts all worked out and we're clear for a good run around ov time. And who says romance is dead???

Angel I suppose that friend hit the nail on

Hi Blue my mat leave starts on 7 th October. I ve got to Thursday this week then I m away for 3 days. Next wk; AL then 1 week left et work. Quite frightened of finishing at work ; obviously if all works out as should will be great but having been here before ( at virtually the same time last year) it scares me as I feel life as only just returned to some degree of normality after loosing Georgie. However, what can you do?? Life does not stand still. As one oft friends said , when I was in the midst of grieving :" life is transient it moves whether we want it to or not? Be it good or bad".
Hope you re ok? Fx this month is yours!! Xx
Awake again at stupid o clock!!

Hi people!

August, nice to meet you and I'm so sorry to hear about your baby Jacob. My little Thea was stillborn at 41+3 on 13 March, but we don't know why, not even after the full PM. I hope you get an answer at your consultant meeting. Glad to hear you're up to joining us here - come and chat as often as you like. Someone's always here and they're always sympathetic and supportive. I'm now pg again, currently 11+4. I hope you get pg quickly!

Angel, take it easy and don't work too hard!

Mel, your work have been horrible to you from Day 1! I hope this is the spur they need to behave properly.

Green, yay for the desk job! Now get on with the swi - you never know! FX that you ov twice, or something, and this month is it after all!

Cheese, I don't get my nuchal bloods taken until next Wed and then I'll have to wait for the results. I don't know anything about the levels, but I know what you mean about 1:600 suddenly not sounding like good odds! We had the same conversation about the risks of CS - DH said ok the risks are small, but so are the risks of stillbirth and look what happened there. What does your MW say about it? You know that it will probably be fine, and there's also the 20 week scan (and any others you get) to doublecheck things - try not to freak out too much (easier said than done, I know). Poor DS2, he's been in the wars recently! Hope he gets better soon. How's DH doing?

Jane, I don't think one cup of coffee will affect your chances! Your DF giving up alcohol sounds more likely to help. I don't really drink coffee because it makes me go all shaky, but I do drink tea. I try to limit myself to 2 mugs a day, but they are big mugs! I drink decaff at home in the evenings. On the dodgy foods front, did anyone hear that fat-free yoghurt is now suspected of causing asthma in babies? I've been eating heaps of low-fat yoghurt!

Hi augustmoon sorry for your loss xx my DD ; Georgie was stillborn at 41 weeks on 10 th October 2010 due to E coli. I hope you have RL support you will find you need it. You will get through just takes a lot of hard work and patience. Xxx
Green good news x
Cheese good news sounds a very low risk x
Hi all; hope everyone's ok? Xxx
Busy weekend didn t get home from my parents to 9 pm last night then busy at work today ; conducting appraisals etc ... Love to all xxx

Hi jane, Cheese, green and Mel, thank you all for your kind words. Really sorry to hear about your babies too.

green what do you do for a living that brings you in to contact with chemicals, heavy machinery and animal faeces?!

Green that's fantastic news about work. Things will work themselves out and this is maybe just the wee break needed for next month.
August sorry you're here, but hope you find the support and comfort you need. My Ruby was born sleeping at 27+3, 3 days after her big cousin was born. Think I have a really special bond with my nephew cause of this.
Cheese hope the antibiotics work and you get a nice germ free family back v soon!
I'm now in the process of the grievance procedure against the HR dept at my work. Got another letter at the weekend which was completely unsympathetic stating that I'd been absent from work cause of a mc. How about remembering the stillbirth before it? That's the real issue. Anyway, trying not to get too stressed about it. But taking it all the way so that there is something done officially.
Big waves to everyone x

august so sorry that you have found yourself here, but also so glad that you have. We lost my Ophelia at 36 weeks in April. I understnad what you have said about losing your confidence. I was a member of a NCT group and well we had to hear about all their babies coming into the world, and it was sad but also a huge relief that they were all safe. My brothers wife had a baby boy 6 weeks ago aswell, he was prem but hes fine now. My DH said it was like we had all the bad luck so that they had healthy babies. Be gentle with yourself, and if you get upset, stressed, or anything post on here.

Ive just been given good news for my TTC for the next few months well untill the end of February I shall be working in the office! Yayyyyyy so no chemicals, heavy machinery, animal feaces etc! So all good for TTc all I need now is a BFP! Even though I know we have probably missed it this month I still cant help thinking what if we hadnt, what if I am pg and then thinking shut up green you know your not! Oh well roll on next month.

jane yes it is including bloods. I know that, realistically, it's low risk but the risk of stillbirth is low and that happened so that's why this doesn't feel low risk. My free beta hcg results were high which caused the higher number, I called the number on the letter to ask but the other thing they measure and the nuchal fold were both spot on. Now worrying about that high too.