With angel babies in the sky, some of us expecting rainbow babies, others still ttc and definitely swi!!

mama how late is your period? Hope af stays away and you get your bfp.

too wow 12 weeks already, you are doing good girl!

Hi ladies im back! HELLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!( green & cheese)
Augustmoon - maybe you can get a family member to take certain items back to the shops it was bough at! if not recipt maybe a credit note for the future may help! it can also be used by someone else! my friend got rid of some of the clothes, and put the large items in the loft 3 years on she needed them new partner and pregnant she now has 2 in a row!
Melmel- yeh on the tablet reduction, yeh stay in blanket and hot choc - nice!!!
AngelGeogie - one day at a time is the only way to go! loving the mantra!
Green & Jane - lack of info after the fact is not helpful! it took me ages to find some way of getting help (miscarriage midwife well busy 2 weeks straight!)
there should be loads of information to let women know! it happens!
we live in the world were the worse doesnt happen - RIGHT!!!!!!!
Razz- however you need to make it through the days and the more that pass the closer to the birthline! women have more strength then we give ourselves credit for! praying for you all!
Cheeseandgherkins - 14+4 everyday another milestone! most people after a loss dont buy a thing until baby comes because of the past!

Still no AF here - she playing mind games and its awful!!!!!! im climbing the walls but refuse to POAS!!!! until the weekend!!!!

Hello everyone. You have been chatty!

Ciwi, hope you're feeling a bit brighter. Excellent news re results, and I'm glad that you saw the consultant and not a minion! I'm sure you will think of the perfect way to celebrate Ciaran's birthday - having a cake and close family round sounds lovely.

Cheese, I have had palpitations in both pregnancies and it says in WTEWYE that they're quite common. Perhaps I ought to mention them to the MW next time they happen just in case, though. I know what you mean about this pg not feeling real - I was just thinking that on the way home! I'm wearing mat jeans today, but I don't feel like I'm really showing, as such - just looking fatter. I was hoping that when I could feel movement it would help, but perhaps not.

Razz, I kept all Thea's things because we always intended to hand them down to the next baby. We closed the door to the nursery ceremonially when we got home from the hospital, but within about 15 minutes I opened it again because looking at the closed door was too sad. Everything is still set out just as it was.

Green and Jane, I think there should be a whole investigation going on into causes of stillbirth, like the cot death campaign a few years ago. Yes, information on Count the Kicks and things would help, but really, it would be research that would help the most. I've never yet heard what it is that Sweden do differently to have such low levels of stillbirth - why can't we have that in the UK? I just didn't notice information about stillbirth before - it just bounced off me, which makes me feel like an idiot now.

Angel, what you say about working right up to the birth rang a bell - I'm planning to do the same. I spent nearly 6 weeks at home waiting to go into labour the last time, and I can't face any such thing again. I'll have a date for either ELCS or induction at 38 weeks and I plan to work until the week before and then get Mum to stay with me to keep me distracted.

Mel, yay about the blood pressure tablets!

August, when I got my BFP I was ecstatic and then crying with guilt about distracting myself from Thea so quickly. I was having counselling at that point and I think it helped, because I don't feel guilty now. Like most ppl, I don't really believe in the getting to take home a living baby part, and I won't until it happens. I'm not sure how I will react when I am visibly pregnant and everyone and their dog starts to comment! I think it did calm me down - it answered some of the questions spinning round in my head (ie, will I ever have another baby?) at least partially.

Mama, hello! Hope AF doesn't come

Have had v frustrating day trying to persuade bank to give me my money. 7 phone calls in 2 days trying to access my savings account. I still don't have the money and I have to go into a branch with proof of address before I can get it. Grrrr! On the plus side, DH has found our marriage certificate so I can finally change my name at the bank - part of the hassle was that a lot of my bills etc are in my married name and my bank account is still in my maiden name, so I knew I would have trouble giving proof of address. It took them until phone call no 6 to say that I would need proof of address, mind you.

I shall be the 'magic' 12 weeks tomorrow! Yay, the first milestone. Only 26 weeks to go...

evening everyone,
cheese I got my results this morning and they are fine, don't need them doing now till 24 weeks so that's good. Saw the consultant today (finally) he is going to do a doppler scan to check the blood flow to the baby in 3 weeks time and then I will have scans at least at 20, 24 and 30 weeks, more if the growth is less than perfect. I am 14+5 today so you are catching me up :)
green I think there should be more sands info out there, it annoys me that they think it will scare pregnant women, it happens and that shouldnt be ignored.
angel enjoy your tea out, you will enjoy it when you get there but I know how you feel, just wanting to go home after work.
mel yay for dropping your blood pressure tablets and I am sure you will be telling her some good news very soon.
august If you are not sure about giving clothes away then don't, just see how you feel in a few weeks. I am finding pregnancy hard but not too bad, I just try not to look too far into the future and keep telling myself that this is a different pregnancy and no 2 pregnancies are ever the same. I lost Ciaran at 24 weeks though so I fully expect things to get much more difficult around then.
I have been trying to plan something special for Ciaran's birthday but nothing I can think of seems special enough iykwim. We will definately go to the cemetery with some special flowers and light his candle. Maybe release a balloon or lantern and I want to make him a special birthday cake that we might invite close family round to share. It's so hard, I have been to friends babies 1st birthdays and this is so horribly different, life is so unfair sometimes x

Hope everyone's ok today. I'm tired as usual but getting by.

blue that body lotion sounds really lovely! I don't think I could make anything like that, I'm not creative at all hehe.

ciwi Did you get your blood test results? Hope you feel a bit better today. I've had no more palpitations since the other night thankfully, gave me quite a scare. Only a few weeks? Massive hugs, that must be really building up for you now. Have you planned anything for Ciaran or are you going to take it as it comes?

Mama nice to "see" you :)

August I was adamant that I didn't want to keep anything when Scarlett died, all the new things we were bought such as pram, moses basket, car seat etc but dh said to put them away and after a couple of months I totally changed my mind. I'm glad that we kept them now. Being pregnant again is very hard, I feel scared and barely allow myself to feel happy. I'm 14+4 now and already have gestational diabetes, injectin insulin twice a day so I have a lot on my mind what with that and all the general illness and bad luck we've had. I love this baby already but I don't think I'm allowing myself to think too much. I'm showing now and feeling movements but some days it still doesn't feel real.

Mel that's good news :)

Angel I have children and I couldn't give up after Scarlett, I knew right away that I had to try again for a live baby; something feels missing without her. Not that she can be replaced and something will always be missing but it feels fundamental. She was dh's first child too.

green I've looked at those and have been thinking about getting one myself. I've ordered a few bits from there, a keyring being one of them. I don't think giving information is a bad thing at all, it's then up to her what she chooses to do with it. Totally makes sense about not buying stuff, I don't think I'll be buying anything until baby is actually here.

jane I think that's awful, rather scare some people into realising that things could go wrong than a baby dies through lack of awareness.

razz I was just mentioning to dh today about how it feels different being pregnant this time and detatched is the right word. I too really want this baby so much but I can't feel hopeful, I can't imagine bringing a live baby home.

Hello all
Yay for your nice doctor mel and the reduction in meds
Thank you for sharing with me about the things you kept, green I think you are right when you said you would have kept the pram for future children, I kept my ds's pram for dd but will now have a 9 year age gap so a new one was certainly required.
angel sorry that you are so knackered, I no a busy mind helps pass the time but do look after yourself.
august I will echo what angel said about pregnancy being so very difficult after a late loss. I have found that I am quite detached at the moment and I often get pangs of guilt about it. This baby was very much planned and wanted but I guess self protection kicks in. I have lost the 'hopeful' part of me and am far to aware of all that can go wrong. It very much feels like I am at the start of a very long, uphill marathon. I dont talk about it to many people in RL, I chose to go through this all again and can only pray that I remain strong enough to cope with what will be.

green I do think there should be some sands and count the kicks info, unfortunately it won't happen. Two of my friends are midwives and I have spoken to them about it, they say it is not aloowed as it will scare prgnant women! Personally I think woman should be made aware of stillbirth and kick counting. I was completely ignornant to it before Zoe.

Just been on the Sands website, couldnt go on there after Ophelia died also due to my slight dyslexia I find some websites hard to understand, and sands was one of them. But Ive just been looking on the shop section, does anyone else have a 'always loved never forgotten' wristband? I think I might get one. Also was just thinking if I was pg again and I went into my midwifes office do you think it would be inappropriate to give her a sands poster and maybe some information about them? I remember when my midwife came to see me after Ophelia had died and she wasnt a help at all and Ive just thought if she'd had some information or something from sands it might have been a better meeting. But also I think these posters should go on the wall in the midwives office, do you lot agree?

August being pg again after a late loss is the hardest thing emotionally. Having ad 2 MCs before loosing Georgie was nothing and I won t relax until GILS is here. However, it's only a decision you and your DH can make. I have heard about some women giving up Ttc after a late loss but for us was never an option as we have no living children. The easiest way to cope I ve found is ; not thinking about the pregnancy, continuing my life ( we ve had weekends away every month), working right up to the due date, virtually to keep me occupied. These are what's helped keep me sane!!! I did referr myself back to my counsellor but didn t actually get to see her this pregnancy. I also took 2 mantras;
" today I am pg"
." there will never be as bad happen to me as loosing Georgie"
Just my take on stuff!!
Good news Mel
hope everyone is ok?
Very tired, busy at work off out for tea tonight, could do without it!!! Only want to be a couple of hours then can chill out at home!!! Xcx

good news mel

yeah AF is the evil witch. mel that your dh had to tell you.

mama5 I lose track sometimes, somedays this thread goes slow and others its like 2 pages in an afternoon!

Crossed posts August - auntie Flo coming for a visit (ie period). It was actually my DH who told me!!

Hi All, was at my docs today and she's reduced my blood pressure tablets to 2 a day. Hooray. She seems quite happy with me and my progress so all's good. She said she'll see me in 2 months for another checkup although she hopes I'm in touch before that with good news. She is so nice! Off to work in a couple of hours but the weather is horrible. Don't want to go out the door!

Hi ladies,
Not sure if I'm doing the right thing now....... giving things away. Its hard to know what you should do. Green what you say about keeping it for your next baby and having it ready so you don't have to worry about buying things makes total sense. I have thought that too - still not daring to hope yet - but my pg friend's due so soon, I've known her 20 years so we're close and lots of what I have are Jacob's brother's things and stuff I've been given - they were going to be Jacob's things but they never were iyswim. It will be hard still, I hope I am brave enough. Talking about it's not the same as doing it.
DH has been asking me how I feel about ttc and I wanted to ask you guys, razz, cheese, how you are coping with being pregnant again? Its daunting but at the same time I can imagine the hope and joy that it might bring. What's been the hardest?
*ciwi" I can imagine how difficult it must be coming up to Ciaran's birthday. Thinking of you.
Thanks all of you for making me feel so welcome here.
x
PS - sorry for ignorance but what's "AF"? Not on acronym list!

Hi all - this thread moves so quick its hard unless on here daily to keep up!
big waves to -dachs,razz,split,cheese,ciwi,green,melmel and too
Jane - im doing ok waiting for AF to come to let me know im out for another month!
Blue - how you feeling?sending big hugs and prayers!
AngelGeogie- i had to help my friend out when she lost and had all the baby stuff ready was so hard to do, she spend loads and most things receipts was gone so gave loads away to charity shops!
Augustmoon - so very sorry for your loss, as you know every day is a mountain of emotions that need to be climb, seeing pregnant friends im sure they will understand your emotions! be kind to yourself!
and hi to all that i have not mentioned!
getting news daily about more pregnant friends, scan results and births!
dealing with it , but emotional at the same time! just focusing on other things!

not to self - must check in more often feel really out of the loop!!!

Ciwi hope u feel better soon.
Razz we ve got the same pram, car seat everything. A lot of stuff is at my folks house we ve just bought the car seat back to ours at the weekend but it's still in a large bag as too painful to look at. We , too, have a full wardrobe of gorgeous clothes that were bought for Georgie GILS will be wearing. My mum has bought GILS her " coming home " outfit and like Georgie we will buy her , her first teddy.
Mel glad stuff is getting sorted. X
Too hope u re ok?
August you re very brave seeing your pg friend I initially avoided pg ladies like the plague!!!
Jane, Green, Blue all good luck for this month xxx
Hi anyone I ve missed
Very, very tired didn t sleep last night awake from 2.30-5 am then long day at work. Only finished 10 mins ago!!! However, only 2 days to go then off for a pampering weekend and 1 week of AL yeh!!! Xxx

Hi ladies, I have calmed down a bit now. Spent most of the day in work crying off and on, luckily I am in an office on my own! The thing is I hate the research job I have and love working with children with complex needs. I wish I could leave the research job and just do the other one full time but I will only get mat pay from the research one and can't afford to lose that. I also had a doctors appointment this afternoon for my blood test results which are not back yet, really annoying because I was supposed to let the consultant know what they are tommorrow. Hoping for a better day tommorrow and really hoping I will see the consultant (apparently there is a note on my file that says I need to see him and not the juniors)
razz glad the sickness is getting better, I sent the pram back in the end, I was trying to relax about ttc and think along the lines of it will happen when it happens and I just felt like the pram was putting pressure on me (totally crazy I know)
Really hoping for bfp's for green, mel, august and jane x

maybe its an omen jane that your actually up the duff!

razz we still have the pram its up in my parents loft, we were thinking of using it for the next babies if Fi was still here so it didnt feel like her pram if you know what I mean. It was the personal things like her going home outfit, a bunny my mum had brought back from china to symobilse the chinese new year animal, and a pair of pink booties that MIL made especially for her. I think because we didnt know what we were having all the clothes and stuff we had bought was unisex and didnt solely feel like hers, some were hand me downs as well and I would have kept them all for the next babies too.
Now thinking about it keeping all that stuff was a good thing as when I fall pg again I dont want to get anything till the baby is here and well we already have it, so I dont have to go into shops and think about getting stuff, with the thought in the back of my head that this baby might not make it either. Does that make sense?

Well, loads going on again so I am bound to forget something. Here goes....
cheese you poor thing, you must feel like it is one thing after the other, it certainly seems like it all happens at once in your household!!
green that is great news about your job and it would be so lovely if you did get a surprise BFP this month ready for your move into your new home, fingers tightly crossed for you.
mel Im pleased that work have allowed you to keep your current hours, what a shame they have put you through so much stress to get there
august hello and welcome. I have not been on the thread for a huge amount of time but have found the ladies on here to be fantastic and such a massive form of support to me.
ciwi sorry that you are feeling so low but do keep telling us about it and we can all keep helping each other through. Sending hugs.
too I am exactly two weeks behind you (had another shady scan yesterday) and am now 9+5. My consultant has kindly offered to deliver me in the last week of march if I would like to keep the month of April for Thomas.......am currently pondering this
angel yay for the rest time and your journey nearing it's end
blue and jane hoping for BFP this month aswell as for mel, green and august

My sickness isnt quite so bad at the moment I am pleased to report and I havent given the game away at work
Can I ask you all a sensitive question......did you keep your prams that you had purchased for your next baby? I ask as my dad brought me a gorgeous pram that cost him a lot of money and it is currently stored at my parents house.......bit undecided about it. What did you decide??

Whats this blue leaving me out!

cheese I am ok I think, I have been having more bad days than usual this month. I have too much time alone to think Df is working away from home at the minute.

I am on cd 32 and af has not shown her face yet, we only dtd twice this month and i really don't think I am pg ( i had 2 bfn), just wish she would hurry the hell up. I want to get back in the saddle for next month!

you forgot Jane

I hope your right Blue you are being crafty today arent you, body scrubs.

ciwi big hugs, its not depressing hun, well it is but thats what we are here for to support each other at such times.