With angel babies in the sky, some of us expecting rainbow babies, others still ttc and definitely swi!!

hi ladies just a quick pop in had no time to read back what i have missed!
feeling down(AF appeared) and so have just decided to focus a bit on my RL and also been mad busy at work!!!! so not good for my stress level!!!!

hope all is well with you all and that we remember to do one day at a time!!!!

will be back real soon to catch up with you all xx

I was annoyed by that thread too. It doesn't matter how small the risk is because there is still a risk and it is such a serious one! Like someone said, it's not only stillbirth, it is risking brain damage if the placenta stops working properly. I know someone whose sister has a severely brain-damaged daughter, caused by hypoxia, and the little girl is blind, deaf, dumb and wheelchair-bound. Even if the damage is not as severe as that, any level of brain damage is too much! Grr.

Cheese, how often are you being scanned? Do scans help with the feeling of detachment? What about listening to the heartbeat? I find that between scans my detachment rises, but seeing the picture on screen helps once I've got past the first few scary minutes and established that there is definitely a heartbeat. It grounds me a bit - yes, there really is a baby, it's not my imagination! I hope as the baby grows you start to feel more connected to it and a bit better about yourself.

I am still flying from the scan - yay! A little wriggling badly behaved beastie is actually in there! I was at the hospital for nearly an hour and a half because bean just wouldn't lie still and kept rolling over. I got sent for a pee, which didn't help, then a walk, and then the technician called in someone to help because she just wasn't getting anywhere and it took two of them to get the measurements in the end. They didn't make me jump up and down, though, just cough. For the record, baby bean does not like it one little bit when I cough and dances about madly. I had the blood test done too, so that's fine.

Angel, we will all will GILS to stay put until your ELCS date! Good for you being off on the best week of the summer - you deserve it!

Ciwi, I love having other people here to tell me what's normal. I feel much less freaked out by everything having sympathetic friends to talk to.

Yeh Too wonderful news xxx
Hi all xxx
Saw my Midwive this AM all fine: heartbeat, blood pressure, urine all good. I m still measuring ahead now measuring 37 weeks but all incidental really as date of section won t change.Also, having Braxton hicks occasionally but GILS is going nowhere I ve told her I want a stress free experience this time!!! Bought a bag for GILS stuff so getting there slowly!!!
Haven t looked at any of thd threads you re discussing from the sounds of it, the topic/ contents are far too trival for us lot to occupy ourselves with. Having lost a baby it puts everything in to perspective and you realise how many people stress over trivia and shite. Not for me anymore.
Hope everyone is enjoying the sun, so glad I m not at work in this heat. It would be far to hot!!! Xxx

ciwi I know what you mean about seeing what "normal" people are like in pregnancy. I wish I could be like that again! I saw my gp today and he said that it was like a coping mechanism but that I shouldn't worry about bonding with the baby as he doesn't think that would affect it at all once it is born.

green There is a dadsnet section of MN but I don't think it's hugely busy. I often mention you all to DH as well and he thinks the same and always keeps his fingers crossed too!

Too so that put you further than you thought? Same happened with me. I'm due on 17th March but would be delivering 2-3 weeks before that, hoping for 3 rather than 2! They had me jumping up and down when I went for my nuchal to get baby to move into a better position! Glad it all went well for you. Did you get bloods taken too?

Hello!

Am going to do v quick selfish post as back to work now.

Booking scan great - am now 13+5! EDD 30 March, which means delivery date around 16 March. Thea's birthday is 13 March, so it's all getting very close together! Nuchal scan took ages - Bean would not cooperate and kept rolling over when the technician was trying to measure the back of its neck. I got sent for a walk for 20 mins but it didn't help that much. So it's a very wriggly baby, anyway!

Will post more later, xx.

this forum is a godsend, I know that I would not be here in this sane state of mind with out your girls. My DH says the same, hes knows you all from what I tell him and he thinks we are all wonderful, I sometimes think he is jealous that we all have each other. (hes not one for forums though so no chance of getting him on Dadsnet if such a thing exsists)

cheese I think this forum is a godsend, the main reason I didn't worry too much about feeling detached was because a few of you girls had said it too so I thought it must be normal after what we have been through. I do tend to stop myself when I get excited but I am trying not to now. It is much more likely that we will biring our babies home than not, it just seems hard for us to see it that way after what we have been through. A girl I work with has just had her 12 week scan and is asking me things like have you bought anything yet and have you put your name down for the nursery etc. In some ways its nice to see how 'normal' people are in pregnancy and it does make you realise that things will most probably be fine x

green I was also told I'd be induced early but that was at the previous hospital and now we've changed to a much better one but I think my consultant will think the same. I'm going to bring up c-sections too as I'm really not sure about labour, I don't know if I can go through it again after Scarlett. I'm worried it will just take me back to when I gave birth to her. It was really difficult as she was breach too and her leg was stuck up, they tried a few times to bring it down and nearly gave up with would have meant a c-section. It wasn't until afterwards, when dh told me what they were saying, that I realised how close I was to a section. They tried an ECV first which didn't work and was really painful but I don't think that would be good if the baby was alive though as it can distress them.

Given that I've got gestational diabetes I don't think they like letting you go over 38 weeks anyway so I guess either way this one will come early. The way you spoke and sang to Ophelia sounds really lovely, it must be nice to have those songs that are just yours and hers :) I've never really named any bumps though, I did talk to Scarlett a lot in the bath, she used to love the water and would always kick and move about when I had a bath.

ciwi that does make sense, maybe I should try and not think about it too much either. I do have a tendency to over think and and analyse everything at the best of times! I've felt the odd little wave of excitement at the thought of maybe bringing this baby home and being born alive but it doesn't last long. I think I'm scared to feel too much. Maybe I should let myself look at and think about the baby things when I feel like it rather than actively avoiding.

Thanks both for the advice though, it's nice to talk about these things with people that understand :)

cheese I don't have any amazing advice except maybe don't over think it, iykwim. I felt the exact same way (and still do but not as much) I spoke to my acupuncturist about it and she just said don't be too hard on yourself, it will come. Since then I have just kind of accepted that I felt detached and it was because I have been through a really traumatic time, not because I didnt want to bond with this baby and I have just kind of left it there. since then I have started feeling movement which I think has helped and I even get a few bursts of exitement so I think I am starting to accept things and I think it's mainly because I am not trying to force it, if that makes sense. Hopefully someone else will have better advice, if so I will be taking it on board too!

cheese does your bump have a name? That might help. I know it must be hard to bond when you are scared of the outcome, but maybe you should start to try.
I had trouble bonding with Ophelia while I was pg, so we started calling the bump bubble (we didnt know what we were having) Also I started singing to her and talking to her in the car. I have several songs now that are mine and hers, sometimes they make me feel sad but sometimes they make me smile that I have that connection with her forever. I shall do the same with the next one.

cheese I agree. People are selfish about their bodies when pg, I dont think they think of the person inside them. I think the media doesnt help with what seams to be promoting bad decisions by doc's which make the public think that doc's are not to be trusted. And googling a few research papers on the subject isnt the best to weigh up your alternatives.
My consultant said to me at the post mortem appointment that I will be induced at 37 weeks for peace of mind but if I wanted to go over depending on the babies health and mine than that would be fine, but if I was told that they thought it would be best for my health and the babies health to be induced early then I would agree.

ciwi completely missed your last sentence somehow! I don't think that's silly at all, I really want to keep Scarlett as a part of the family too and a visible one at that.

ciwi I always have a quick glance when out shopping at the baby aisle, not stopped or bought anything yet but I need to make this feel real and maybe that would help.

green your bracelet does does sound really lovely, I'm quite drawn to rainbows now.

On that note, has anyone got any ideas on how I could make this pregnancy seem more real and like it's really happening? I'll be 16 weeks on Saturday and am struggling to accept it still.

ciwi doesnt sound daft at all, I think it sounds very sweet and agree that it does acknowledge Ciaran.

I agree with you there green, I think it should be less about separating the "rights" of the woman and their body and more about just the actual safety of the baby. I'm sure noone wants anything to happen to their baby but you also have to be realistic and realise that things can and do happen, no matter how "safe" you think you're being. So what if the induction ends in intervention? I'd rather than any day than a dead baby. Give me a cs if needs be as well, recovery time is worse but if the baby's ok then that's all that matters imo.

that sounds lovely green I think lucky charms really help you feel positive. We saw the pope in rome the month we concieved this time and just after I got my bfp we saw a rainbow in the sky. Whenever I worry I keep telling myself that Ciwi sent us that rainbow to let us know that everything is going to be fine. I know I shouldn't but I couldn't help having a sneeky peak at some of the next baby stuff. They have 2 babygro's on there, one says I am a little sister and the other says I am a little brother. As I don't have any other dc's I want to get one for this baby (all being well)as a way to include and acknowledge Ciaran in things - does that sound daft?

I see what you mean ciwi they dont understand. But then again that poster who has be told off for policing the thread (which she is) weve had run ins with before on gender threads. Some people just love jumping on the old band wagon and turning stuff into rights of the mother or rights of the woman instead of thinking about the bigger picture.

ciwi those threads are really upsetting, they have no clue. And never will unless it happens to them, they think they are invincible. We are the only ones who know that you are never invincible when pg. All we can do is try and put our point across and if it doesnt sink in, to think that we have done our best, thats all we can do.

I bought a charm bracelet off my friends facebook business, its a pandora style rainbow colours, I bought it as it was rainbow coloured and I thought it can be my lucky charm for a rainbow baby. Im wearing it now.

I am no good at links but it's on the pregnancy topic and the title is 40+10 and refused induction. I read it because I thought the hospital had refused to induce her not the other way round. Lots of talk about it being her body, her right ect, drives me mad, I would have happily been split in two if it meant my baby would survive. They just have no clue about the pain of losing a baby grrrr again!

ciwi what thread is this?

cheese it drives me mad when people get bogged down with statistics, the risk for all of us was between 0.5 and 1%. In my opinion it either happens to you or it doesnt, it's not comforting when you lose a baby to know that the risk was small, it might as well have been really high. I just fail to understand why anyone would take any amount of a risk to their baby. Anyway, plenty of people told her she was being foolish and she chose to ignore those comments so there is nothing else that can be done, I just hope her baby is ok.
blue I eventually learned a pattern with mine, I did test in the morning, if I got a positive I would test again in the afternoon to double check so I think everyone is different. I also found the tesco ov sticks would start off light and then get darker over a couple of days till it was positive, that was really useful. The ic's however gave me a positive but it was short lived. If you are using ic's it might be worth doing one in the morning and the afternoon so you definately know when is best for you to test x

blue thats a good link, really interresting.

blue did exactly the same thing. Its a pain too that you have to do them at that time trying to do them at the same time everyday when I work is a nightmare, its so much easier to do it when wake up. I have to do it when I come in from work at 4.45pm.

ciwi I just looked again and almost posted again but thought there was no point too. Some stupid comments, just winds me up. If they went through what we did there wouldn't be any question about it, you can read as many studies as you like but that doesn't make you any less at risk...grr