With angel babies in the sky, some of us expecting rainbow babies, others still ttc and definitely swi!!

Moomin and August - yes, the groke! That's it! I love it when people can fill in the blanks in my head.

August, sorry to hear that you didn't get any answers. I didn't either and it was very hard to take.

Shakey, FX for the scan next week. I'm sure it will be fine.

Razz, try not to get upset with the doppler - my MW said she wasn't even going to try to listen for the heartbeat until 15 weeks because it was so unreliable before that, and she's trained and experienced.

Angel, yay for no more work! Not long now at all. Thinking of you lots.

Blue, come back and tell us what the house is like! I still haven't got Thea's stone picked out - we started but didn't really like any of the designs in one shop and haven't done anything else about it.

Ciwi, good luck for next week's scan. I'm sorry you're having horrible dreams . Hopefully the scan will calm you down and they'll stop.

It's my birthday today and nothing is how I thought it would be. No Thea, and with this horrible cloud hanging over Bean. Have been crying a bit. I usually get clothes for my birthday but I don't want to buy anything maternity-ish in case it jinxes Bean in some way and I can't wear anything else.

Wow lots of posts! I'll catch up later/tomorrow as the kids are still up and had a busy day. Consultant all went fine, lovely as usual, I said how nervous I've been feeling and she asked if there was anything they could do to help with that. She's sooo lovely. The midwives I saw first also both said I could call and go in whenever I want to listen to the baby and make sure all is well even if I just wake up and feel worried or anything. They'd much rather I went in than worried all day. I love the staff there, they're all lovely!

Blood tests need to be redone in 2 weeks but she's not worried at the moment about them, yay! Really happy about that, just hope they don't get any worse but for now it's all good. Back again in 3 weeks and I should have my 20 week scan before then but the appointment will be sent in the post. Insulin was upped again too and I saw the dietitian who gave me some good advice. Hope all are good tonight :) xx

razz I don't have that doppler but with mine at 12 weeks I had to wait till I had a full bladder and then listen really low down, just above your pubic bone. Don't panic if you can't hear it, the baby has lots of places to hide that early. Also, I thought my doppler said you can hear the heartbeat at 12 weeks but it really says you can hear fetal noises from then. Can you hear blobbing type noises? I couldn't even hear that without a full bladder though.
angel just think of it as being annual leave, the mat leave can start when gils arrives x
august I wanted to ttc straight away too, I got pg about 3 months after losing Ciaran but unfortunately miscarried, I am currently 17 weeks this time and really hoping and praying that we get to take this baby home.
Hi to green, moomin and everyone else x

Bloody stupid fetal doppler!!! I am still not finding the hb, have hired the bt200 from ebay that claims you can hear from around 10 weeks. I am now 12+1 and can still only find my own pulse......could it be that I have extra padding to get through as I am a good size 14?? Starting to feel uneasy about it now, a bit worried.
Any thoughts???

Hello all
Thank you so much to all that have congratulated me on the first hurdle of dna testing
shakey I really feel for you, cant imagine how nervous you must be feeling at this time, just keep reminding yourself that this is a different pregnancy. Thoughts are with you.
ciwi my thoughts are also with you what with little mans birthday coming up and your doppler scan, so hope all is well and you can relax a little bit more.
moomin sorry that you find yourself on this thread but a very big welcome, it has helped me so very much
blue I defo think you should go for the house if you like it when you view, savings can always be made in other areas until things are not quite so tight
too how are you doing? Did mum manage to source the best for the job for you?? I would have killed my dog and the dog walker!!!
august if it feels right to ttc again then you go for it, many of us have yearned for a baby after our losses, its a natural feeling
angel matty leave is finally here!!! Hope things go as well as can be this week on Georgies special day.
jane I think that missing out Zoe at the funeral is just dreadful, it must have felt like you had been kicked in the guts, Im so sorry
Hello green , mel (are you testing this weekend?) and cheese (hope your consultant appt went well).
What a long post!!!
Have a great weekend

Hi Moomins welcome & sorry you re here xx
August glad you ve got your results. Think about 2 months seems the norm unfortunately.
Well, I ve finished work now. Had a lovely quiet understated day fish & chips for lunch, followed by cake. Only cried once so was proud of myself. Not concentrating on the fact that I ve finished work again. .
Hi to all; hope everyone is ok?
Love to all xxx

moomin welcome to our thread, I love the moomins, I went to finland a few years ago and nearly bought the whole moomin store in the airport, but in the didnt get anything, wish I had now.

august (((hugs))) your not spoiling your sons memory at all by ttc. Nothing will ever replace your jacob and nothing ever should. Im so sorry they couldnt find a reason for his death, do you feel more comfortable with yourself now that you have heard the results or has it just brought up more questions?

moomin x posts, soz. Secretly I really hope I can get pregnant straight away, feel bad that people might think I'm forgetting Jacob so soon but that's not it - just it feels the only thing that would be right, another life that wouldn't be if it weren't for him. Bugger, crying now. Got to go.
x

Hi Moomin, just reading back and saw that you already mentioned the Groke! I had a little nosey around (hope you don't mind) as I hadn't met you before and read about your Jacob - my baby was Jacob too. So sorry, has made me feel really sad.
Ciwi, Too, good luck for your tests
Blue, view the house, you might love it. Also, fx for you this month x

Oh I actually feel quite sorry for the groke now

august I had an early mc last June after ttc for 14 months and was pg again in august, no sign of ovulation from the tests we were doing but we now have a beautiful 6 nearly 7 month old baby boy (who arrived 8 weeks early) so it can happen. The same happened this time I was pregnant within two months of having the baby again with no sign of ovulation but we lost our Jacob at 20 weeks

Found this....
The Groke (Mårran: morra "to growl; to grumble") ? She is cold and ghostlike, and represents loneliness and all that is scary in the world of Moomin. She seeks warmth and fire, but is unable to do anything but to put them out. Although she has a scary appearance and is dangerous to get close to due to the cold that she's radiating, she's not really evil... Just very lonely.

Hi guys,
Haven't had much time to post and only had a quick read through. Sorry - will try to catch up with the news but missed a lot just wanted to say hi!
I had my consultant appointment on Wednesday, nearly 2 months since Jacob was born so had a long wait for results and then was just told that they don't know what happened. All tests for antibodies to infections tested were negative and the placenta looked fine and healthy, no indication of abruption, only unusual thing being that there was only one artery and one vein when normally there should be 2 arteries and 1 vein. Feel kind of relieved that the appointment has now passed as I was anxious about going back to the hospital and about what they might say but now know that I will forever be wondering why he died
We've been kind of ttc, just going with it really although I think its too soon for me to get pg anyway, don't think I've ovulated at all (been doing tests really to try to find out where I am in cycle) - I might poas (pg) if I don't come on by 16th Ocotber, just in case.
Too I know the scary character from the moomins you're talking about... its name is on the tip of my tongue argh

Hi everyone,
shakey Your scan will be fine but I am not surprised you are worried, I have a doppler scan next week and the one we had with Ciaran showed that the blood flow to the placenta was severly reduced, I am so scared that this one will be the same. Can you go for a heartbeat check in the meantime?
razz great news on your dna bloods x
too our dog had a habit of peeing on the bed in the spare room when we first got her, she is banned from there now but still gets on our bed. Luckily she has never peed on that, I would be fuming too.
blue go for it, it will be lovely to live near your friends x
jane can't believe they left your little girl out, I would be very upset/ angry too x
Hi moomin and welcome, think I am on my own here but I don't know what moomins are x
No news here, had a horrible dream last night that I lost this baby too, it really shook me up. I had to have a listen to the heartbeat this morning to reassure myself that things were ok and luckily the little one was behaving and it was loud and clear. Think it was all my worries coming out in a dream.

hi girls

razz great news from your tests fx for tues

too what a bad dog!

blue a move sounds good to me, new house = new baby :-)

moomin welcome to the thread sorry to find you here but welcome, will be thinking of you tuesday.

mel hope the witch stays away and you get that bfp!

i have my scans next week and really getting nervous now as my last 20 wk scan was when we found out Grace had died.

Hi moomin I agree, they are scary! Sorry you find yourself here, but it is nice to meet you.

Hi yes it was the groke, it turned everything around it to ice.

Thanks blue I'm having bad days and worse days at the moment, would have liked to stay in bed all day today but our youngest is only 6 months and was having non of it, dp had to go back to work Monday so it has seemed like a very long week. The funeral is booked for Tuesday and I'm pretty anxious about it

Razz, that's great! Fantastic news! Good luck for Tuesday too.

Blue, just go for it if you can. You will have a new baby at some point, so you might as well take it while it's there. Yay for the saving on childcare too!

Jane, , what a horrible omission. Zoe is as much a great-grandchild as anyone else! Your poor DF too.

Hi Moomin, haven't met you before - welcome! Moomins aren't scary, though - something else was scary, some sort of monster in Moomin-land. Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? It came and sniffed around their house and frightened them all.

Cheese, hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Mel, FX!

Have just got back in from work night out and the dog had peed on the bed. So angry! First of all, the dogwalker should have shut him in the living room properly, and secondly, he should not have pissed on the bed! That's really bad dog behaviour, protesting at us leaving him alone. It's a feather duvet, but luckily it washes. If I'd had to pay for dry-cleaning I would have been even angrier, but it is in the washing machine now, grr. And I got a new maternity dress from Asos.com and wore it for the first time today and I have managed to tear it. Down the seam, so it will be fixable, but grr some more. This is just not my week. [scared]

sorry girls got you mixed up meant to say razz thats such good news and mel fx crossed for you testing.

Hi All, Im having a relaxing week at home with the hubby seams as though when we had Ophelia they got his leave weeks mixed or gave him special leave or something but what ever it is, it means hes got the week off, so I got the week off also. Shame its not ov week (next week) but I think this week will really get us in the mood.

jane I am so sorry that your family chose not to mention Zoe that is just not right. Some people I think, think they are being thoughtful by leaving our beautiful babies out of such things but they dont realise that it hurts us more.

mel thats such good news.

cheese Im sorry your having a tough day, I think you need a pamper day just like Angel had the other week.

blue I agree with jane if you can afford it why not.

blue If you can afford to I think you should go for it! It would be less of a nightmare moving now, before you are pregnant! Let us know what you decide to do.

razz fantastic news about the test results!

Sorry you are not having a good day cheese.

We had Df's granny's funeral today, it was quite hard and we kept thinking of Zoe. We are both very upset and angry though, Zoe was left out when all of the grand children and great grand children were mentioned by name. Df was so angry he was crying, which is not like him at all.