Sixth Form Common Room part IV - ttc and pregnancy post mc

Evening ladies!
I did snare Mr Moomin the other day (Thurs), but that's been it for the SWI. His shifts make things a bit awkward, as does our 4 year old DD insisting that she shares our bed! It's a wonder I managed to conceive back in July. We've had to be fairly inventive in the past, but she seems to have a 6th sense, and will wonder in just as the deed is likely to happen! I really don't know what to do about it, I've tried everything- blackmail...bribery...lying in her bed with her until she drops off...allowing her to watch dvds in bed until she falls asleep ( I sound like a terrible mother!!). She says that she is too scared on her own, yet we've said that she can switch with eldest DD (10) and share with middle DD(8), but the two older ones are my ex-husband's children, so aren't there 3 nights a week anyway. I coul spend all night taking her back to her own bed when she gets in with us, but I work full time with quite a stressful job, and tbh, I need my sleep!!! I must seem crazy wanting DC no 4! On that note, If one more person says to me, "I'm so sorry to hear about, you know, the awful thing that has happened to you, but please remember, you have three beautiful littele girls", I will scream. I know that I am lucky, but I just want one more! I feel as though people think I've reached my quota.
If there was an egg this month, I think I've missed it. I feel as grumpy as hell today, and am sure AF will show within days!
Good luck for tomorrow, Knitter.

Hello ladies,
Had the first of my RMC blood tests today - a total of 10 vials of blood!! DH only had to have 2 - how is that fair?! I had to have a large latte with lots of sugar to replenish myself!
Fingers crossed for at least a little bit of sleep tonight Knitter and for perfect results tomorrow.

Good luck for tomorrow knitter I have everything crossed for you.

Hey lovely ladies
Slowly going mad here - less than 24hrs until the scan and CVS tomorrow... may not be able to sleep tonight if this carries on though... Agggg...

cero sorry to hear DH is being a bit daft. If you can give hims some space and see if he can put into words what he's thinking would be my tip...

olives fingers crossed for the outcomes of all your testing. We had the full barage of them when they were investigating our losses. My fear was that we had been lucky with DS, but in the end we'd been unlucky with our losses which was a great reassurance :)

Izzy definitely get that bag packed... exciting times

cero my DH started to get a bit fed up with SWI and I actually got updiffed when I went out and got drunk with work mates, came home and had a good old SFF session and I know that a few other ladies on here have found than when they stop trying to hard it happened for them too. So maybe you need to relax a little although I know that is much easier said than done!

Hellooo everyone else.

Oh tomboy and olives thank you so much for your reassuring messages. Tbh I don't know what's going on with him right now...seems to be bent on behaving like a child (he was AWOL till 5am this morning). I think we probably have a few issues (more than a few) to work out...but I'm so tired and frankly bored with it all, ATM seems easier to ignore him...otherwise I'll get angry, and I don't want to ruin my weekend being angry. Just to put things in context, he's a few years younger than I am, and sometimes it's like having two toddlers

tomboy he could be depressed, yes. I feel like I don't have the emotional space for him right now...but I see that I'm going to have to up my game and be MORE loving/understanding if we're going to conceive...and make a successful partnership

Thanks so much for the support... And a big wave to everyone...I need to read back and catch up once the fireworks have abated xx

Hello lovely ladies! Happy weekend to you all.
Cero Please try not to stress too much about DH not seeming to want to DTD as much as normal. Tomboy is right, it's such a common problem when TTC. With my DH I started to feel like he didn't "fancy" me anymore and was just going through the motions and he felt that I only wanted to DTD at fertile times so he felt I didn't just want him but that I only wanted his sperm IYSWIM! In the end we had a big heart to heart and agreed that we both want the same end goal (another DC) and that means that at fertile times we HAVE to DTD whether we are in the mood or not and we can save the romance for other times! Not sure any of that really helps, but what I'm trying to say is that I'm sure its just the stress of TTC rather than anything fundamentally wrong with your relationship.

Yay for kicking bean Knitter, everything crossed for Tuesday's scan and CVS.

Good news about placenta shifting too Izzy, sounds like you need to get that bag packed and birth plan written pronto!

Good luck with the SWI Moomin, hope MrMoomin has been well and truly snared!

And a very warm welcome to anicecupoftea, so sorry for your losses but come and hang out here, it's a nice place with some lovely ladies.

Any sign of AF yet Tomboy?

I had my gynae appt today which was booked long before the EP happened. My consultant was lovely but he only knew about the EP because of the lab results on the products they removed, all the admission and operation notes are missing - bloody NHS! (I work for the NHS but they do drive me mad at times!) Anyhow, I'm now having a gazillion blood tests for recurrent miscarriage and then I'll see him again in 8 weeks to get results. He also said that even if the results are normal he will still "throw everything" at me for a future pregnancy (aspirin, progesterone etc). He was really positive and it's left me feeling that just maybe I will have a DC2 one day!

cero. Try not to worry, this is a very common problem when TTC. DH and I went through a period of something fairly similar. He felt stressed because he was having to 'perform on demand' when he didn't want to DTD and he sensed I didn't really want to either. His stress made me stressed and of course that just made everything that much worse.

Has your DH been tense about anything recently? Work, for example? Or even your mc? (Sorry, I can't remember how long ago it was, but he could be depressed because of it.) Any number of things could make him not want sex.

TBH, if you DTD on Tuesday and then ov'ed on Thursday that sounds like pretty good timing. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry overly. I'm sure your DH will be back to his usual self soon.

Hello everyone - just checking in and offloading a bit. I don't know if anyone else has experience of this, but I just feel completely like DH doesn't want me any more - not even a little bit. I'm the one who's initiating sex all the time, and he even gave me the old headache excuse the other day. It's a complete turnaround because it used to be me constantly fighting him off. Like I said, I relaxed about ttc this month and just tried to DTD every two or three days. It has felt like a marathon despite this, because he's been so totally unwilling. I have talked to him about it but he's in total denial, (I think in his mind it's not manly to not want sex) saying that I'm being paranoid. I'm NOT being paranoid - his behaviour is completely different to how it used to be (pre DD)...I haven't minded before, because I wasn't TTC but now it's just desperately difficult, and humiliating too.
Worst thing is I think all this may have been for nothing because the last time we DTD was tuesday, and I couldn't persuade him to do it last night (boy, I tried everything), and I think I ovulated yesterday.
The rejection is the worst thing...it makes me doubt myself, and my marriage, and wonder whether we should be ttc another child in the first place.

Moomin it's definitely possible to ov and conceive on your WTF cycle. I've run into several people on Mumsnet who did just that. Have fun snaring!

Welcome to anicecupoftea! Very sorry to hear of your losses. As others have said, this is a nice gentle thread full of understanding ladies who've all been through it before.

Izzy you're entering the home stretch now! How exciting!

Nothing new here. Still no AF, still wondering what's going on.

Hi all

Sorry haven't been around for a while. Been keeping away from the internet while I am on my 2ww. On CD28 today (thanks for the terminology!) and I am very silly - I just did an evening pregnancy test (a Boots cheapie) which was obviously negative. Think I need a slap.

I'm going to catch up on all the news tomorrow and reply properly to people then. For now I have to sleep.

Hello ladies,

Thanks for the lovely welcomes. I've been wondering a lot about when periods will return after the ERPC. It's been 23 days since the op, and think I might be showing signs of ovulation. Have had a fair bit of EWCM today, but then I know that it could well be my body still settling down again. Going to snare DH tonight, but I've decided that I'm going to try the more relaxed approach to conceiving this time. Having said that, I have 8 leftover OPK sticks from last time, so I can't let them go to waste, lol!

oops, posted too soon...

anicecupoftea welcome to the board, I'm so sorry for your losses. This is a good place to be in the circumstances and hopefully you'll have a sticky bfp before long x

knitter yay for booking and movements - how far along are you now? I'll be keeping everything crossed for Tuesday but definitely taking ds' optimism as a good omen for you

I'm now 36+5, scan yesterday showed placenta had moved up and was no longer low-lying and baby has definitely turned to head-down so looks like we're all set for a vb in the midwife led birth centre again, fingers crossed. Now at some point I really must write a birth plan and pack a hospital bag...

mouse so glad it went ok with scary boss

aniceuppatea we'd be delighted to have you join us. So sorry to hear about your two losses. This is a nice safe place to be while you regroup and start trying again - and to help you through the early and scary days of pregnancy. I know that board has made a massive difference to me, helping me get over my losses and understanding the fears that I have when I do get pregnant again.

As for me I had my booking in and bloods this morning. In the end there was no time for a scan too but I am feeling confident about things because I'm sure I can feel the bean kicking now - and last night I lay in bed on my back with my hands on my belly and I could definitely feel the bean moving around. So now it's all full-steam ahead for Tuesday and the Nuchal scan and CVS... DS is convinced this baby is perfect so I'm also taking great comfort from his certainty :-)

Hi all, may i join you? Was busily posting on pregnancy forums leading up to my 12 week scan on 1 Nov which unfortunately revealed a likely chemical pregnancy. So, yesterday i was lurking in the miscarriage boards, and today i'm right back to conception! What a rollercoaster. Both of my pregnancies have now ended in miscarriage - the first was a mmc just over a year ago, again discovered at 12 week scan, showing baby measuring 6 weeks. I'm keen to start ttc straight away as soon as i get myself sorted out. Just want to be pregnant again, even though it will no doubt worry me stupid.

Izzy Hope scan went well today.
Mouse Very glad that scary boss took the news well!
Big congrats to MummyA

Fabulous news for mummya!

fab news for mummya

and welld done mouse

Welcome moomin

hugs to the rest of you (and a small kick from my bean for you all too :) )

HUrrah for mummya Well done xx

Welcome to the thread moomin , sorry to heaar of your losses. Hope this is a lucky thread for you

Great news about mummyA ! and yay for mouse 's not-so-bad scary boss!

mouse glad to hear evil boss wasn't as bad as expected.. long may it continue!

Well done mouse for telling boss, I'm pleased it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be

Just popping in to pass on an update from mummyabroad who many of you will know - I've been on this journey with her since almost the beginning and she's been a tower of support for everyone despite having a really hard time herself, so it's a real treat to be able to let you know that she had her baby, Max, by c-section this morning. He weighed 3.3kilos, and is doing well. mummya had placenta acreta (when it's stuck) so needed an extra op after the cs but is apparently recovering well.