Sixth Form Common Room part IV - ttc and pregnancy post mc

That's a worry of mine mouse, I see this ever widening gap and know that there's nothing I can do about it. I also see a little girl who would love a little brother or sister. I think her age is what bothers me most about me taking so long to get pregnant

It's always lovely to hear from you Tigger, so I for one, would say you're always welcome here, (but I might not be best place to say that given my circumstances too). I also realise that once you're home for good you are going to have to your hands overflowing so posting may be a bit more challenging.

Sorry to hear you're back in hospital, I do hope he gets interested in food asap.

Ladybee I'm not so good on names either but how about something Kiwi related or is that too obvious?

Mouse that is a pretty epic cycle, we all hope this month will be yours and Tina's

Digital how are you doing? the first weeks are definately the hardest. Hope you are enjoying the weekend a bit more now.

We're having a fairly low key weekend which is lovely. I finally managed to do the weeding which I've been talking about for the last month.

Waves to all x

Hi tiggers, of course it's okay to post here! How's the feeding and expressing going? I've been thinking about acupuncture, I tried reflexology after the mc but it obviously didn't do the trick! Did you find it helpful? I probably won't bother this cycle though, we're on holiday until day 9 so I'm probably better off waiting for the next one.

Thanks for coming over here and updating us, how lovely of you to think of us when you are having a hard time yourself x

Just to update, twins arrived 2 weeks ago at 33+4 and we're currently back in hospital after a probably too early discharge on day 5. twin 1 has lost interest in food & once he regains this hopefully we can go. Tina has been supporting me on another thread for which am v greatful .

To support in return here. The hardest months for me were around dd, the months when I saw an accupuncturist and he told me I was mentally blocking ttc so I started hoping again, each fertility investigation showing it should be happening and the hsg which I'd gone to grt efforts to schedule at right point of cycle . when I gave up it was a little easier although still very difficult when others told me their good news. And then I got mine........

Anyway I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still thinking of you all particularly those who were at the start of my ttc posting like bbb and my always remembered fellow twin mummy dachs. And everyone else too who I've shared experiences with along the way on this and other threads. Let me know if you'd prefer me not to post here as I know I don't fit in this category anymore .

any typos due to phone!

mouse, I could have written that post...we're having a lovely weekend but it's in the back of my mind all the time...and there are babies/pregnant ladies/big families everywhere! I always pictured myself with two or three children, and it feels so out of reach right now.

Thanks too ladybee, it must be hard not to tell your best friends your huge news x

Oh Tina I have said those exact words so many times, it's a horrible feeling. I did find that the due dates and other milestones (no. of months trying eg.) contribute so much to the emotional pressure on ourselves. I feel like I did finally reach a point fairly recently where I was contemplating our life as a one-child family with some sense of 'that wouldn't be what I wanted, but it would be just fine'. I feel quite sad that the due date of my third MC barely even registered...just realised it's in a week or so. There is someone missing, it's not silly to feel like that, and you'll carry that 'hole' in your soul forever, but the great thing about time passing is that it always brings with it little things that help to fill the hole. Not perfectly, there will always be gaps and you'll notice them from time to time but with time the gaps become smaller and you notice them less often.
Blackberrying sounds lovely - I planted out a load of strawberry plants as it's just coming to the start of spring here (how odd!) and am looking forward to seeing whether they give us a lovely crop.
In an attempt to stay chilled and in denial about this pg I've decided to not tell my two best friends who are both about 22-24 weeks pg themselves. They both conceived very shortly after my latest MC which was difficult for everyone. If this one fails, I think they'll feel awful, and I kind of want to just pretend everything is as normal as possible and don't want to answer 'how's it going' questions from them. Easier when you're on the other side of the world, as well. But it makes me miss them and feel further away from them as well.
I did take myself off for some blood tests yesterday, it was a struggle Not to ask for Thyroid, Full blood count, Vitamin D etc etc but I contented myself with HCG, Progesterone and a B12/Folate measure as I've had issues in the past with low levels. Will call GP tomorrow to make an appt to see him and will get a second HCG to see whether levels are rising ok. I think they are - have been POAS every morning and they are progressing in darkness. Haven't done a digital yet - actually, I wonder whether they have them here? Must do...I have seen one test called 'Pregnosis' which I quite liked.
I'm contemplating a namechange. Haven't done that since I joined MN but maybe a new name with help with a new positive attitude. Mind you, I thought a New Year would bring me luck and it didn't, so maybe that would just be tempting fate...
Any suggestions?

Thanks digi. I'm feeling a bit better today, we've had a lovely morning walking through the woods and picking blackberries to make muffins later. I'm trying to focus on positive things really, we've got a lovely daughter and we live in a nice place. It just all feels a bit like there's something (or someone I suppose) missing. I hope that you are getting along ok today too.

Hope you're feeling better today Tina

Am 6+5 today and this is when mc#2 started. I actually still don't feel particularly pregnant so am beginning to silently worry. Doing my best to remain calm and just let what will be be. 7+3 and 8+2 are the next milestones.

Right, got that off my chest. Am going to attempt to enjoy the bank holiday weekend now. Hope you've all got great plans!

Huge congrats Lady!

Tina so sorry AF has got you and got you so down. I hope the Magners and donuts do the trick.

For my part, I'm worrying as much about being un-pg this month as I normally worry about being pg. I'm no-symptom-spotting like mad. Poke poke, are my boobs sore? Good, they're not. Poke, poke. Repeat for the next week or so. sigh

Thanks collie. I just opened myself a bottle of magners and I've got donuts for later!

tina it's not irrational at all to feel how you are, and with your dd looming it's an especially hard time so don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. Hearing things like 'it will happen one day', is really annoying I know, as noone acutually knows it will and it doesn't make the dissapointment easier, but it WILL happen for you. Fx it's soon! I hope you have something nice planned for tonight at least? And get a huge hug off you dd!!! Xx

Thanks everyone. I'm torn between giving up and focusing on dd (but I know that if I do that I won't really give up, I mean, it's not as if I can 'forget' my cycle and I wouldn't be using contraception), carrying on as we are, going back to the clinic and requesting a hycosy or trying acupuncture or something. I just felt like I gave it everything this month and for nothing

I feel very irrationally sad for the moment, I'm sure I'll feel better in a few days

Tina rant away. It really is shit when AF turns up. However calm and you try to feel it is crushing. I would second collie's advice about having a bit of a break if you can even consider it.

TINA so sorry you are feeling this way. I thik we all feel like that on CD1.I know when CD1 usually comes for me - I make myself book something nice for that month - a little treat like a maincure / pedicure - funds allowing. It's not much but it does make the pain slightly easier. xx

tina I'm sorry AF is on its way, and that you're feeling so down

(((((hugs))))) Tina

Just a quick post and run as I was just quickly lurking but couldn't not post to give Tina a ((hug)).... not that it helps much. I'm so it looks like AF is on it's way, I'm rooting for you every single month and wish so much it was your turn. It's shit, it sucks and I'm so sorry, I just don't know what to say. Sometimes you just need a break? You have your holiday coming up right? Maybe a month off so you can really relax will do you good? Hard though, I know when all you want is to get pg.

Congrats to digi and lady xx

I'm going to rant if that's ok?

I can't take this anymore. Like clockwork it's Friday lunchtime on day 26 so here comes the brown cm and opening cervix. I am so so so sick of this crushing disappointment and I don't know if I can do it anymore. I'm not going myself or dd dd any favours by carrying on ttc. I just want to give up now. . I will not be pregnant on my due date. We've now been trying for more cycles than before the mc.

Rant over, as you were

Congrats Ladybee !Brilliant news!

Sorry about the BFN Tina , hopefully it was just too early.

Mouse hope you're wrong about AF.

I've started a course of antib's today for an ongoing water infection (2 months I reckon, on and off) so not holding out much hope for this month, but obviously we'll try anyway

Oh, and battery I feel your pain...a friend of dh's announced that his wife is 12 weeks pregnant on Tuesday and they've been trying much less longer than we have!

ladybee you can wave a fish near me but not actually slap me because although it wasn't fmu, Superdrug tests are the same sensitivity as fr. Although I did a fr 4 days early my last pregnancy and got a bfn. In fact I didn't get a bfp until the day before af...

Good luck with your 2ww AandR x

MummyA we had constant one cold after the other when DD started at nursery - I also had more colds than I thought possible when I first arrived here LadyB

Mouse and Tina boo to bfns and long 2ww - amazing how slowly time goes during the wait - will be waiting until the fat lady sings to pack my suspenders away

waves at izzy can't believe you are 26 weeks - how exciting.

Tomboy congrats on the new job - how exciting. Should take your mind of things for a while!!

Have the scrolling problem so waves to everyone