TTC after a miscarriage - Jingle Beans, Jingle Beans, Beanies all the way!!

I'm back from lunch and my you lot have been gossiping. We've just had a letter from the mortgage advisor saying the mortgage has been accepted so all we have to do now is carry out the searches and the house is ours. They've said it will get done by xmas.

Hi everyone,
just wanted to say that it's true where they put mothers miscarrying or having stillborn, i was just about to be put on the postnatal ward after i lost my daughter- i had to argue with them to let me home as they wanted me on iv antibiotics for another 2 days, i said no and eventually they had no choice but to let me take tablets instead and go home.
i think some hospitals have bereavement rooms but not many.

I was v lucky in that I went via A&E staff were wonderful and I am on a ward and they made every effort to keep me away of pg women. I know others who have gone to the alternate hopsital in my area and received terrible care, and its not on.

Got my scan first thing tomo so got to hold in the pee....I hate that part it cripples me. I will just have to nip to the ward then go for my scan and then back to the ward.

Take care of yourself G4P. x

Well, I'm off to get organised. Got to go into Canterbury soon to collect a couple of pressies I've reserved at Argos. Will be back later. Take care everyone and don't do anything i wouldn't (which doesn't leave much!!)

xxxxxxxxxxx

G4P i really feel for you hun stay strong xx

G4P you look after yourself and don't be doing too much. Take care hunni xxxxx

See ya Xack xxxxxxx

Well, i feel i can leave the house without weeping now. So i will, christmas shopping still not done, with everything thats been going on. So have a good afternoon, speak to you later. bye

Listen my lovelies, been great nattering but i really have to clean before dp gets back and thinks all I've done is goss all day
Be back a little later all. Take care xxx
G4P- Best of luck hun, thinking of you x

Unfortunately Xack i don't think it is. What with budgets and short staffing and all that. I don't think its a case of staff being insensitive, more lack of resourses. It is higher up that need the nudge. they need to be aware of the destress this causes

Some hospitals are great some arent. When I had my eldest they put a mum in with us and she'd had one. I hope it's more rare these days.

god, i didnt realise mums having a stillbirth were put on maternity units! That is very insensitive. So awful>

Lol Carly.
G4P- we were so lucky, even though quite early on (was 11 wks when they told me it had died but actually died at 7 wks) they were wonderful.

But you know early ones are just as big a deal. Don't think they aren't for one minute. I agree though, the advice I was given (what little theres was) was deffo aimed at more advanced MCs

High about time it was changed. especially the poor, poor women that stillbirth. Still put on a maternity ward

XACK how strange! My friend's guide was an indian girl with really long black hair, thats the only reason i brought her up beacause i thought he had taken a girl into his room!! He had a gf at the time and i thought he was being naughty So you can imagine the shock i had when i went in there and there was no one there!!!!

I actually work in a womens hospital, so you cant walk 2 yards without seeing a pregnant belly. Its not that bad though, i think its just still very raw at mo. They were actually very supportive at epau and didnt make me feel pathetic etc. The only thingi would say is that the miscarraige leaflets were very paltry and seemed to be aimed at later miscarriages. AS though early ones are not quite such a big deal.

Hear hear!

ASH i know what you mean when i was rushed into hosp at 32wks with my ds1 they thought i was in prem labour and said they couldnt hear the heart very well, do you know where they put me? On the bloody post natal ward!!!!!! I was only there for a few hours while they sorted out a room for a trace and scan to be done but imagine if i had lost the baby at that point (luckily it was only a kidney infection) They just dont think do they?? Im sure if one of the bigwigs in the nhs system had a m/c they would soon restructure it so the epu was nowhere near the antenatal clinic

Also my babies of course

Awww G4P it truly is awful but it does get easier hun. You are being so strong and brave. Well done hun.
Carly- Great idea. I've never used them before so not sure how quickly they work. As for guides (or guardian angels etc whatever you fancy calling them) I've got an indian (pretty apt as I'm part cherokee), a wolf, a cloaked man and i'm pretty sure i've got my nan and brother (who my mum m/c).

I think it is so insensitive to put EPUs on MAternity units. Can't they put them somewhere else in the hospital?

Thankyou, feeling a bit weepy after seeing all the pregnant women this am.

XACK yes i have corresponding colours i think when my ds2 goes up for a nap i will go lie down for ten mins and try it will it be immediate or do i have to keep doing it? Personal question so you dont have to answer..... do you have a guide? or is it just mediums?

I have just eaten an orange and have heartburn oww!!

G4P - you have always got us. We will help you through all of this, we have experience and understanding of your situation adnwe can use that to get you through. Don't be afraid to ask anything or scream, rant, cry, swear or indeed laugh (I found myself laughing on here quite alot when i was MCing). I was in a similar position to you, as nobody I knew in RL had experienced MC, so I could let it all out on here. I felt I was boring people around me with what was goingon as they had no understanding of how heartbreaking it all was. My DH was a bit woried abou tme telling a "load of strangers" my inner most feelings but now he realises this "lot" have been my saviors and are now my life long friends.

I hope we can give you the support you need, even when you don't realise you need it. xxx