Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 17)

Mmmm, mini rolls. Thanks summer.

Oh god Baby - you mean she reads the DM seriously? And believes what it says? You poor thing (Disclaimer: I also read it, but on the grounds that everyone needs a comic and I've never taken it seriously).

Not that I read any of them at present - too depressing for me.

Sorry about your MIL IQ. How you want to bring your child up is up to you and will be perfect. I recommend deep breaths.

As my update: the crumble was delicious (even if I do say so myself) and the gramps are fine. I also made yellow raspberry jam this weekend, so am feeling all domestic. I plan to make apple and rhubarb jam next weekend (got to do something witht he leftover rhubarb). I have also fixed the bed (which no onger even squeaks).

Now, DH and I have DTD on days 10 to 16 inclusive, and I got a positive OPK on day 15. That should surely be enough!?! I feel like it should have worked this month but am trying not to get my hopes up. In any event, assuming AF arrives as scheduled [grrr], I also have days 12 to 15 inclusive booked off work next month :)

summer sadly no raving - we thought about it, but it seemed too energetic so we sacked it off!

summer, baby, MissG - I am feeling a wee bit smug so I won't rub it in too much, but I think I may have the perfect MIL She appears to have a no interfering policy, but is supportive when required.

PS blue defo Signs - many of them

by Polish gangs, not 'my'

Hmm, have just realised I have not even bought any pregnancy tests to carry on testing to see when I get the BFN. I know it was mentioned at the hospital when I left but, to be honest, I can't bring myself to so, er, haven't. So, in short, I am meant to be testing till I get the BFN and then the period is meant to come a few weeks after that? If so, what's going on now?! Argh! I fucking hate this! I also had nasty cramping the other morning which I NEVER have and that did my head in too!

I am def on the WTF cycle this month too (not that any other cycle was ever actually up for option!) Also, I have just managed to scratch the newly varnished bedroom floor when I was moving the bed to mop underneath and DH is NOT happy so the chances of luring him into bed right this second are VERY slim indeed!

Wonder how long this spotting nonsense will last? Hopefully not long as I cannot bear sanitary towels but I certainly do not need a tampon. (Sorry if TMI.)

Summer my mother says she reads the Daily Mail as it's an easy read but the scary thing is she now says things which sound as if they are directly from it. One obsession is with the bins; and namely the councils apparent 'lots of rules for us and none for them' problems. She is also obsessed with the idea of people parking outside the front of her house (on the rare occasion this has happened her journey will have been extended by a whole 1 second or 6 feet (her street is not so busy that she'd never have to park further than just park one door down) and, more scarily, she does occassionally make terrible comments about 'our ethnic brethren' and in particular their 'human rights' (said sarcastically of course.) However, if you called her racist of offensive she'd be appalled - not at herself but of your suggestion.

My MIL also reads the Daily Mail and as she is a nervous kind of woman anyway is now convinced the country has been taken over my Polish gangs, all teenagers are armed ('even middle-class one's') and if someone says they are having a party on Facebook it means their house will be trashed beyond all recognition. Oh yes, and you can get cancer off everything as, after all, 'they wouldn't be allowed to print it it if wasn't true.'

The Daily Mail is a bane in my life!

cuttle sorry i meant to ask how you are? has the bleeding stopped? hang on in there as your bean is obviously made of stronger stuff xx

baby your comment here is word for word a description of my own mother! ''I can kind of understand this as I cannot bear to argue with my mother, even though she can drive me round the bend sometimes (she can be bloody great but also has Daily Mail tendencies, and she also drinks too much and can be VERY obnoxious with it.) ''

IQ i had a similar situ with my FIL when i was PG with DS, we dont have a mixed culture in our family (unless you count Daily Mail v The Guardian!!) however FIL was arsey with me because we didnt christen DS (SMIL said 'but how are you going to keep the baby safe if you dont christen him' ) i think you have to take a step back as your hormones are all over the place and her ham fisted attitude is really going to upset you.

hey whatso glad you had a great time in Ibiza - soooo and i am thrilled that you jumped on the thread at 1am to let us know you were back

boobeez sending you the hugs, i too understand that you need to take a step back every now and again

waves to blue eve manda marathon shimmery and all the metallers - you will be thrilled to know that my neighbour has joined a GnR tribute band and has been playing bass aalllll weekend! typical as i am trying to take my mind off metalling!!

i think i am on the 2WW but i can probably join the WTF cycle this month, we SWI on Friday night but we have agreed that we should do it because we want to rather than for technical purposes! normally i would be at that but TBH this month i cant be arsed, i think my mothers reaction has contributed to this but i had a really good chat with my counsellor about it last week and she has assured me that i wasnt being 'over-metalling' (not her words obv!) but that my emotions were normal and she admires me for not losing it with my mother!

try and catch up later but waves

Hey Whatso welcome back. Glad you had a fab holiday

Boobeez if you're still around - sorry to hear you're not feeling in the right mind to metal with us Please do come back if you feel a bit better about things. I have found these ladies invaluable at times, but understand you might need some time away from the TTC/SWI/CM chat for a while. We won't be going anywhere, so maybe see you again. Good luck with everything x

IQ uurrgh, MILs. Mine is a bit metal (self-confessed metal). I have learned to cope with her metalness. One example: Because I had a DD before meeting my DH, she actually said to him after he proposed "You know, missgiraffe may be the most important person in your life now, son, but you know you are never going to be hers" !!!! I was really hurt. It was almost as if she was trying to put him off. She's changed a lot since then (MIL and FIL are divorces now and with other partners and much happier) and I actually quite like her now (although, the other day I came down the stairs to find her changing my washing about on the line . Ok, so that's maybe not on the same level as calling into question your ability to raise your child appropriately due to his/hers mixed race heritage ) It's a difficult one though, knowing how to deal with MILs. And, get your DH to grow a set! My DH who is a total mummys boy close to his Mum. He never really noticed the little things that were said and done which made me feel inferior even when I yelled them at the top of my voice mentioned them to him when the frustration got too much. Thank goodness she changed and chilled out otherwise I may have lamped her one!

Whoohoo Blue well done on starting this months 2ww metalling! (I think anyway, hard keeping up when you're off for a couple of days) I think I am only CD 11. Got some SWI in last night and Saturday, need to keep it up (teehee, unintentional pun) for the next week or so, although that's not very likely . Bloody teenagers everywhere and DH going 'fishing' (yeah, right, can you catch beer with a fishing rod?!?) Friday to Sun. Almost got caught too as DD came home much earlier on Saturday afternoon that we expected. (Note to self: lock the door when getting a quick one in!!) So, by the weekend, I am there with you. B
tw, all the things you described are definite symptsoms of implantation and PG. I'm sure of it! PMA PMA PMA PMA !!!!

Baby For comparison, it took 4.5 weeks to get a bfn after MC, AF arrived almost 3 weeks after that (so 6 weeks 2 days after ERPC) and I had 3 or 4 days of very light spotting before this last AF (the second after MC, which was 2 days late). I have never had pre-AF spotting before, but seems relatively common for it to happen after MC (and insanely annoying!) It's a pain in the ass being in the WTF stage . FX for normal cycles and BFPs all round!

Hi everyone Marathon Manda Pie Eve Summer Shimmery Cuttle and anyone else still about.

Right, time for a and some left over rhubard tart. Anyone?

Afternoon metallers

Blue I am indeed in the 2ww (probably). I have a natty little app on my phone called iPeriod which I have just logged onto and it informs me my AF is due in 5 days. However as my two cycles since the ERPC have been 32 days and 28 days I supect this is just a 30 day average guess on the apps behalf. I also imagine it will guess I will have a 10 day period given the last two were 12 and 8 days respectively (including spotting).

I have very little in the way of ovulation symptoms (never did, so I'm not specifically worried about this) so I am working on a roughly day 14 ovulation at the moment. On that basis we only squeezed in DTD once before DH went away to Japan and once on CD15 when he got back, so all the SWI on holiday will have been too late but I live in hope as when I did ovulation tests in the past I think it was positive around CD16.

I have put on 4lbs on holiday - the joy of full board! - and I am starting Weight Watchers tonight. I am sincerly hoping I have to give up because I get a BFP way before I reach goal weight

Morning all?well, at CD22 I think I am now in the 2ww, just not sure how far though it yet as not sure of Ov day or cycle length being the first proper cycle since the MC. So, for my place in the metalling room I?d like to present my symptoms for consideration:

-Hair suddenly v greasy and lots of spots late last week ? thinking this may have been due to hormonal changes due to Oving Got some clear CM but didn?t notice any EWCM. If I did Ov last week it will depend which day as to whether we stand any chance this month as only managing weekend SWI at the moment due to DH?s shifts?
-Face v red and blotchy after my shower in the morning?noticed this for last week but not had it before!?
-Nails seem to be growing faster and seem tougher (am sure I had this when PG before)
-Bloating
-Itchy nipples
-Breasts feel a little fuller

Of course all of these could just be pre-AF 2ww signs!!

whatso so glad you had a good time!! Are you now in thr 2ww as well?

IQ hope all sorts out with your MIL...families can be so complex, add a cross cultural dimension to it and it can get ever more so!

baby sorry to hear about the spotting...unfortunately seems to be 'normal' post MC but a real pain nonetheless!

eve hope you have a lovely week with DS! Guessing you're also in the 2ww as well?

Hope everyone else is well...I'm setting up a full heavy metal section up in the padded room if anyone wants to join me for the 2ww?! I have lots of chocolate cake and a large stash of Internet cheapie tests which is the perfect accompaniment for PMT or symptom spotting!!

Whatso - glad you had a good time. Hope you don't have too hectic day - first day back is always the worst.

Baby - hope you are ok, I know it is frustrating but just try to relax, your body will sort it's self out over the next few weeks. I am sure I read somewhere for some people it can take months to get back to normal.

IQ - it is your mother in laws job to do your head in. I know it is frustrating but I am in the camp of smiling and nodding. Is she someone you see often? Hope today is a better day.

Not sure what is going on with my insides, had some terrible discomfort over the weekend, ovulating has never been painful in the past, but it is ok today. We dtd tues, thurs sat and hopefully tonight. I would of done it every day over the weekend but dp been a bit flaky so we will sit it out for the next 2 weeks.

I am off this week, ds and I are off to bournemouth for the day. Off camping this weekend, just for the night saturday. Ds very excited. Can't believe the summer is going by so quickl. Have got his school uniform all ready only 3 weeks to go and he starts school :-(. On the up side 5 weeks to disneyland paris. Wishing my life away aren't I.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Hello all! Back from Ibiza, had a fab time. I've done a quick skim read catch up (Shimmery - the bed story was epic!) but if work isn't too manic hopefully back for a proper catch up tomorrow day or tomorrow evening otherwise

Yup, what Manda said - familes are bloody tricky! Your MIL, IQ sounds quite ham fisted and a bit clueless really, from what you have said. She may mean well but really comes across as a bit ignorant. And grrr at your DH for not standing up to her! Is it because he thinks it's not worth the bother? I can kind of understand this as I cannot bear to argue with my mother, even though she can drive me round the bend sometimes (she can be bloody great but also has Daily Mail tendencies, and she also drinks too much and can be VERY obnoxious with it.)

I may well be ranting the week after next as my in-laws and one of DH's brothers and his wife are coming to stay for the week. They are staying in a holiday cottage nearby and are, honestly, lovely people but I cannot help but get very bored after 24 hours. Suppose this is the same with most familes but DH behaves very differently when his mum and dad are about, he is suddenly Mr Squeaky Clean and I am left feeling like an alcoholic with Tourettes!

So, ladies. I am now officially 'spotting' so am wondering when the actual period will start? Reading on t'internet it could be anything up to a week (super) and isn't really a proper period at all. I usually have two days period, no PMT and nothing heavy so this is a contrast and a half. It's also horribly reminiscent of the MC which aint helping. Am trying to see it as positive though, ie that my body's healing from the MC and my cycles are sorting themselves out (grasping at straws? moi?!)

Gah, how frustrating IQ! I suppose, maybe what MiL means in her ham-fisted way is, she hopes that as the baby's mother (and so, arguably, the prevalant influence on the child for the first few years) you won't only focus on your culture (given that it's, uh, your culture! ).

Wait, am I saying this the way I mean it? Hmmm. I guess she's being protective over the half of the culture the baby will inherit from DH - as a mother, she probably realises how powerful an influence a mother will be ad assumes you will exclude the baby's paternal culture? Probably especially given you remarked a mixed race child will identify with one culture more than another (which seems natural to me). MiL is, again assuming that with you as the main influence, at least initially, that the baby will therefore identify with your culture. She's just being possessive about something that hasn't even happened yet! And even if it DOES happen, she's lost sight of the fact the child will still be a PERSON and a person is far more than simply its 'culture'.

Yes, she sounds a bloody pain in the rear end. So, if I were in your shoes, I'd pacify her by reassuring her that the baby will obviously be exposed to all elements of the cultures that joined together and made it - and that given you live in the UK, you're confident that with you and DH working together you hope the baby will take the very best of both for its own.

Which is kinda 'idealistic' but, hey, we all want to imagine the 'best' for our kids and work toward that. MiL is obviously assuming (again!) that you will think YOUR culture is what is best for the baby. She's doing you a disservice, for sure, but that's MiL's for you (often). Nobody will evvvvvvver love their boys the way they do

And, I KNOW how frustrating it is that DH smoothed it over by avoiding - but he obviously knows MiL and how it probably would have been fruitless to 'stand up to her'.

Families. So tricky!

The silly thing is - DH has always said he wants our children to know a lot about being African, he has said on a number of occasions how much he likes my culture and all it's quirks and odd things but like he said "it makes you - you so why wouldn't I want my kids to be like that!" It annoys me cos he always sits on the fence with these things rather than expressing an opinion himself in front of his family but when were alone it's different. Why couldn't he have just said "actually mum she is right and to be honest that is what I want" rather than being all "it's all a bit heated maybe we should leave it alone"!!!!

IQ v sorry to hear about your MIL situation...you're not being ridiculous...whenever there are different cultures involved there will be clashes at times. I'm a bit the opposite in that I'm the English one and DH's family at West Indian but I feel equally illqualified to teach a child about his culture in detail and would see that partly as his responsibility and his parents/family. I will obviously do my best but it will always have an English slant/bias. Can't write more just now but didn't want to leave your post without responding. Have you chatted to your DH about it all?
PS No handing over the child to them!!!

Morning all - I promise to catch up properly tomorrow but at the moment just need some ears to vent to - it may be that I'm pregnant and therefore a little bit insane but had a fall out with the MIL last night........I'm African and my DH is English. I tried to explain to her that children from mixed ethnic backgrounds tend to identify with one more than the other - not that either is better or worse - but they just do. Now I can say this from experience as I have many mixed race cousins, friends, nieces and nephews ect who all tell me this is true. I made a statement not a judgement.

Now when I said that she said "it's your job to make sure that doesn't happen".......which was difficult for me to understand when her son (my DH) was sat next to her and really she should have told him that. Maybe I've missed something but I thought parenting was a joint responsibility!!

I tried to explain that I wasn't able to teach my child about being 'english' because I'm not - I can teach them that they are half English and that they should be proud of and have respect for that side but would expect their dad to go through things with them. It isn't really possible for me to teach them about something that I don't really have much idea about - whereas my own culture I know about that and so can bring that to the table. Again this isnt good enough - was really angry last night and went for a walk with my sister at like midnight (thank god she was here) so that I could wind down and actually go to sleep.

It is fully possible that I'm being ridiculous and in the case that I am please tell me but the way she was speaking to me yesterday I just feel like if this baby is ok I should hand it over to them because obviously the way that I plan to raise them isn't good enough and they will obviously do a much better job of it than I will!!!!!

I'll take a double decker marathon but hanker after a Star Bar - they're still around but I never seem to see them very often.

boob I can't recall - did you get a bfn following your mc? It took many of us here quite some time to get a negative so if you didn't it's something to bear in mind. THis really is such a very difficult time - if you need to step away, of course you must; but it's also invaluable to speak to others who really know what you're going through so please don't hesitate to 'come back' if you need to - we're here for you x

cuttle It's good you have an explanation for the bleeding and that's its not directly connected to the pregnancy - fingers crossed for a great outcome for you

Annnnd... mind has gone blank again.

:( bfn again. Different brand this time nd not as sensitive, but there it is. Might step off the tour bus for a while cos I think I'm thinking about all of this too much. Thanks for all your support guys. You've been lovely. Good luck with the baby making everyone. Over and out. Xxxx

Oh IQ that link is fantastic just sat at my desk trying so hard not to giggle as load as I really want to...one of the funniest things I've read in ages! Thank you! Hope you're feeling a bit better!

Welcome back marathon glad to hear about the symptoms!

shimmery hope you have a lovely weekend...enjoy the crumble!

Right...back to work...

Ladies,

Will catch up properly later but thought i would share this with you as it has gotten me through a day of feeling particularly rough and horrible.....almost pee'd my pants!!!

Enjoy!!! xxxx

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1274048-To-never-leave-my-house-again-never-ever-ever?pg=1

Hi all

IQ - I was option (c), but after today will be back online as it'll be the 2WW for me (I got a positive OPK on Wednesday morning, so today is effectively the last chance saloon). I'm glad you're surrounded by people with good news.

Cuttle - Sorry you're having bleeding, but I'm so glad for you that your baby is hanging on in there. Sounds like your baby is tenacious, which bodes well.

Blue - Glad to have provided some amusement - it truly was hilarious. I kept chortling to myself throughout the rest of the day every time I thought about it. Also - mmm cupcakes. I keep thinking I might get the HUmmingbird Bakery book and try making whoopies, but I suspect that would quickly undo my recent shredding. I don't have much in the way of self control.

Boobeez - Retest! You know you want to. :)

I'm off to visit my grandparents this weekend, so need to get on and make a crumble (we take food with us so they don't have to cook). Dad's coming too and is making lasagne.

To all others - I won't namecheck due to my fear of missing people off - see you soon!

Hi girls. No news yet cos my Mum is here, but may go and grab a test to pee on later today. Probably getting my hopes up for nothing though because there was no sign of a line yesterday initially, but I didn't wait for the control line... DH says retest next week... It will be 5 weeks since mc tomorrow and af can arrive up to 6 weeks late, so maybe I should wait until a week tomorrow... Bleugh! Xxx

Morning all

Cuttle - hope you are resting up I have everything crossed for you and jnr.

Hope everyone else is ok. Just a quick hi as I am meant to be getting on with stuff!!

Baby know how you feel about wedding outfit. My step sister is getting married in 3 weeks. A very posh affair. I am dreading it to be honest. Got my dress in the sales half price from monsoon. Although expect everyone else to be dressed in coast as minimum. Hay ho.

Well hope everyone has a good weekend of swinging to look forward too then we can spend the next 2 weeks wondering what if :-)