Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 17)

my impending 'due date' should have read 10 October - bloomin typing whilst drinking

Well we are back from the inlaws, had a fabulous weekend, SFIL made an awesome curry last night and DH and I had a night out on Saturday together (very rare these days!).

The only downside was that AF got me on Saturday so eve shall we hold hands together, have a glass or three of and do you fancy joining me in a spot of pate, blue cheese and brie? i have some lovely warm crusty bread - oh and we can have a little sob together! I have also worked out that if we get PG this month my due date would be a day before DSs due date! So lets go for some June babies!

baby your feelings are so normal, it must be hard to be with someone close to you who is heavily preggy.

my friend is due her baby in 2 weeks time, she was 4 weeks ahead of me and we announced our PGs together i would have been due on 4 October. It is gonna be hard when she has her bubba even though i love her to bits and am so happy for her, it just feels sad.

however... MissG OMFG fantastic news!!! So your 'Desperate Housewife v Mad Men' approach with DH paid its dividends!!! As i recall you were rather rampant this month sweetie! Soooooo happy for you Have you told your DD yet? Bless her she will be thrilled she stayed out the house!

pebspop welcome but i am so sorry to hear of how you came to us, i cant imagine how it must have felt at the 20 week scan, i recall that by that point you are so ultimately bonded with your bump. Sending you some feel good vibes and hope it works out for you soon

waves to marathon manda iq blue whatso (if you are lurking) and everyone else - sorry if i have missed anyone but my laptop is playing up and i dont want to lose the message!

blue i am soooo with you on the nursery study. We bought our house 5 years ago and i managed to convince DH that the spare room should be neutral shades we werent even engaged by that point or talking about a family!!

See you all at work tomorrow where-we-are-all-guaranteed-to-be-on-MN

Hi Eve. I am alright, more or less. I think it was just a sudden bolt out the blue and I think it's also as it's family you feel more 'involved' (for want of a better word.) I suppose there will be lots of little hurdles like this to come (oh, super ) but they will hopefully become fewer and more far between. They know what happened with me too so can understand any wobbles, and can also hopefully realise that I don't resent their position, I am just a bit sad about my own.

I think I'd be upset about AF too, just because its the last thing any of us want at the moment. I realise you may have said in previous threads, but how old are you...?

I realised something today, which I am going to translate into a positive. When I was pregnant before I spent times hating it. I felt fat, bloated and frustrated, especially due to our building site of a house / cash flow situation. I only came round to the idea more consistently, instead of swinging madly from one thing to another, at about 10 weeks. I now know that if I get pg again (which I will - PMA PMA!) I will now NOT resent it or think about it negatively (apart from the MC worries, which I suspect will be unavoidable) and will instead try and enjoy it and relish (or something) it instead.

So there!

Evening all.

Shimmery - hope you are ok and looking after yourself.

Miss G - go you. So excited for you.

Marathon - hope all is well and you are looking after yourself.

Blue - decorating sounds productive.

baby - hope you are ok. It is so difficult sometimes to cope with everyone else baby news. I really don't want to see my aunt but now thinking I am just going to have to face up to it and see her before she is due. (2 days before my due date would of been)

Pebspop - so sorry that you have had to join us. I can not think for one moment how difficult and sad it must of been to have your news at the 20 week scan. I hope the tests come up with something that can be put right and you can get back on track soon.

As for me well the visitors have finally gone, we decided against the Isle of wight and save the money for Disneyland Paris - 2.5 weeks to go. On the up side I can go on the rides now I am not PG! Should also dye my hair and eat Pate.

I still upset over AF. I know it is early days second af since erpc at the end of June. I just thinking it will never happen because I am so old. I want the baby I had. :-(

Anyway to cheer you all up I managed to fall in the river today - bike and all. We went for a ride and it was bumpy and narrow. I was already sulking as I did not want to to ride up to many hills so we went along the river - as you can imagine it wasn't ideal for bikes and I went and wobbled in. DP said I did well to save my bike! Just wanted to weep then too. Gotta laugh.

Also wonder what is happening with my periods. There were like clock work beofre DS. Then had mini pill for 4 years so no AF. First period after erpc 1st august 4 days long. Ok. Second period 26th and finished today. Should I be worried? I don't know about these things never had any deviation before?

Answers on a post card!

Did you feel as if there may have been something wrong at the time, with the 20 week scan, such as an infection? My 'bean' stopped developing at 7 weeks-ish but I still felt pregnant in every way which made it an even bigger and nastier shock than it should have been. I can see why you would be worried in future pregnancies, I know I will be and 20 weeks is relatively late. You poor bugger!

there are loads of tests that can be done. usually they only do them after 3 mc's but as my second one was at 20 weeks i am having them now.

the main causes can be infections, blood clotting disorders or the baby could have defects.

if they find i have a blood clotting disorder i could have aspirin and blood thining injections next time i am pg and this seems to work from what i have read. they have tested my blood and dh's blood to see if we are passing on genetic problems.

i will get all the results back in four weeks. they said half the time there is no cause found. not sure which is worse as i would be really worried in future pg if i do not find out why this has happened.

Hi pebspop so sorry to hear what you've been through. Twice as well!

I am only just (very only just) starting to TTC after miscarrying on the 13th July (I had a missed miscarriage spotted on the 12 week scan and miscarried ten days later, the day before I was booked in for a D&C) so don't feel you have to be actively TTCing to hang out on here.

Do you have any suspicions as to why it happened twice? What tests can they do to investigate?

hi guys

mind if i join you?

i had my second mc in july which was discovered at my 20 week scan. this follows a mc at 11 weeks in november. i fully understand how worrying being/getting pregnant is for us.

i am not really ttc at the moment as i need to wait to see a consultant for test results to see if there is a reason this is happening to me. had some tests done 2 weeks ago and they said i would get all my results in 6 weeks so 4 more to go.

it;s been 8 weeks now since the latest mc and i have still not seen any sign of af. i am getting very impatient now. my af came about 6/7 weeks after mc the first time.

i thought i would start charting tomorrow. i bought the thermometer when i first started ttc last year and never used it. i think my dh was freaked out when he saw it lol! don't think he will be bothered anymore after everything we have been through.

i am hoping that temping might give me some clues as to what is going on with my cycles. it makes me feel like i am doing something positive as well.

hope you don't mind me joining even though i am not quite ttc. i will be doing lot's of metaling though about af and temping!

Ginger cake? At 100kcal a piece?! Yes please! In fact, can I have two?

MissG I think you're right, the WTF cycle does just rub it in. Also, I have no idea if I'd be ovulating or not at the moment as not really had a period as such, but have had something. I have been Googling too, and discovered that there is no "normal" and everyone can be different. And yes, I do feel a bit as if my life is now measured in cycles and / or possible ov prediction!

BlueCrane thanks. I suppose sudden and unpredictable moments will be par the course. It really did take me by surprise too when it happened on Saturday, although perhaps in retrospect I had been in a house with 12 of us talking 'baby baby baby' with the large possibility of someone going into labour right before my eyes so maybe I should have realised... Doh!

Just been back from nearly three hours out with the dog. I have been living here since the start of May and am finding more and more beautiful places to take her, the dog, all the time and they all are on our doorstep. I am also, as I am slightly obsessed (if only inwardly), thinking that all this walking and fresh air will be a far better way of head clearing / weight losing / fitness gaining than anything else I can think of and will stand me in good stead for, ahem, 'later.'

Thanks all for lending me your ears. It helps massively to 'talk' to people who know just what it's like, it really does. x

Woohoooo!!! missg fantastic news!!!

Am busier today (bank hol) than often when I'm at work done third coat on one wall and first coat on the last wall so nearly there...just waiting for that to dry so I can hopefully do the second and hopefully final coat and then the spare room/office is looking sparkling ready for nursery furniture anytime Also just made homemade chicken soup, rhubarb and apple crumble and a ginger cake...think I may need a little rest this afternoon so that I don't fall asleep at work tomorrow when I go back for a rest

baby sorry to hear you've had a tough weekend...I still find it catches up with me at random and unpredictable moments but great news on the SWI progress!!

shimmery how are you feeling today? What a cruel few days you've had but well done with your PMA approach...

Right...that final coat of paint is calling!!

It makes perfect sense. It's a rough ride, that's for sure. And I don't think anyone can really understand what it's like unless they've been through it (not that I would wish it on anyone of course!)
The WTF cycle just adds to the frustration. I didn't have clue either, waiting 7 weeks 2 days for AF to show her ugly face. And often, once you've got over that hurdle (and all the WTF-ing on the way) TTC is all you can bloody think of for most of the time. Your whole life becomes measured in cycle days and Ov prediction!

It's quiet on here this morning. Dare I ask, is everyone actually working ??

Thanks x

Yes, the miscarriage was on the 13th July which I suppose isn't really that long ago. It just feels like it was though, if that makes sense.

Rollercoasters indeed!

Thanks Baby

And sorry to hear you had such an emotional weekend .Maybe you needed that blowout. It's obviously still very raw, and your MC wasn't very long ago, was it? You have every right to still feel the pain and hurt from your own loss, and still be happy for your cousins at the same time. Oh, it's such a rollercoaster isn't it?!

Be kind to yourself. And what a lovely Bro you have. He is right though, that is what he's there for, and you should use all the support you have around you when you need it - I'm sure you would do exactly the same the other way around

Chin up x

Ooooh, cross posted with you MissGiraffe - whooppeeeee! Congratulations! xx

Any news yet missG?

Shimmery, I was very sad to read your posts. Mother Nature can be such a fucker, can't she?

Whatso hopefully you'll still be bobbing in and out to have a read if nothing else. Good luck and see you soon, I hope!

Zebra hello! I too found moving on from the miscarriage boards helped me feel more positive and able to put the MMC behind me. The miscarriage boards were a godsend at the time, and it helped me enormously to 'speak' to people in similar situations but I have found this thread hugely beneficial with regards to onwards and upwards.

I find it hard to keep up with all the developments on here so apologies if I have missed anyone or anything significant.

Bit of a brain dump from me (you have been warned.)
My cousin and his girlfriend's baby (lets call her 'J') is due today (!) and we saw them on Friday and Saturday as they are moving close to us but are moving things gradually at the moment as she doesn't want to change hospitals at the very last minute.
As she is due to pop (she is very petite normally so looks quite uncomfortable now) it was hard to talk about much else. There was also a houseful of people (ten in all, inc sets of parents) cleaning and moving furniture in and it was all quite exciting especially as J was having the odd twinge and also mentioned she had had a 'show' earlier.
We ended up all going to the pub after and as we were sat around the table I suddenly burst into tears. I have no idea where it came from, I was actually saying to J that she could borrow clothes if she needed to while she shrank back to her usual size 8's so it wasn't a terribly emotive subject, but it seemed to come from nowhere. I then had to clamber over three people at the table to rush up to the loo and try and pull myself together.
I thought I was okay with things, and by and large generally I think I am, but perhaps I am not quite as okay as I thought I was.
Thankfully we all left shortly after and I went out and, er, got very drunk. Not terribly constructive I know, but it had to be done! I then also met my brother, DH had gone home, and droned onto him. He was there when we had to call 999 when I miscarried so could understand why it was so traumatic. He was lovely too, letting me drunkenly ramble on, and kept saying 'its what I'm here for.'

So, that's been my bank holiday. Bit of a weird one, as it's both exciting and, as I have discovered, upsetting too. My cousin and J have now gone back to their 'old' house and are basically just waiting. She can't do much anyway and they have also had a few false alarms so hopefully it won't be long now. I am really happy and excited for them, I really am, but I am also finding it quite hard.

Lastly, and sorry for the TMI element - me and DH DTD yesterday and there was no pulling out at a crucial moment. This proves to me he is into the idea of trying again as much as I am. Shame I haven't the foggiest what is happening cycle wise, but fingers crossed things calm down soon. Am also wondering about getting some OPK's but not sure if I need to wait till I have a proper period first (only had varying degree's of spotting really so far.) I am also half considering 'investing' in a Clearblue one (can always Ebay it after, can't I?) even though they are very expensive as I feel as if I could be hanging on for things to settle for months otherwise. As I have said before, patience is not one of my strong points!

Well, tested with FMU and it's a definite BFP! Am with Marathon on the ostrich technique for coping though. Seems hard to believe. And I drank quite a lot on Friday night, as I really didn't think I'd be pg this month .

Marathon can I ask how you are l or would that be too much like asking you to admit to being pg again, and not let you stay in your 'happily in denial' place?

Blue jeez, you've been busy! Glad AF seems more normal, hope that's your WTF time well and truly gone now. Loving your PMA

Shimmery hope your cramps have subsided and you're feeling a bit better. You're DH sounds lovely. Making you your favourite dinner which would taste all the better washed down with a large G&T in the circumstances.

Eve how are you? Did you have your day on the Isle of Wight this weekend?

Summer any news from you? I like raisins on their own only, but hate the thought of them in anything! So will happily have some raisin-free rocky road if there's any left?

Hi to Manda IQ Baby Poppy Zebra Pie (happy hols!) and anyone else still about.

missg keep us posted!!!

I'm soooo tired after more painting today and the wall I did today is going to need a third coat which is very irritating as means tomorrow is going to be more painting...so much for resting at some point this weekend but AF seems to be going which is good...hoping I don't get the spotting the same as last cycle (which lasted for 2 weeks!!) but 4 days bleed seems about right whereas last time it was just 3 before it all went a bit crazy so hoping it's settled down a bit more and we'll get the SWI plan ready to action v soon

shimmery so sorry to hear that. As you say though, if you got a line - even if a faint one - the swimmers must have done their job & you must've have ov (and implanted even if for a very short time). Post MC it's such a worry about whether things are actually working as they should, so I'm glad you're taking some comfort from that.

eve sorry the witch got you too, hope you managed to have a wee cry as it's not a bad thing to let your emotions out.

I am full of the cold, and was soooooo tired all day yesterday. My SIL brought ciders down last night & i couldn't even finish one glass (NOT like me !) Was at a christening today, decided to be designated driver as I didn't want to drink just incase. Had 1sainsburys test left, which I did yesterday. I thought there was a very very faint line. Was one of those 'tip it to the light' lines so wasn't convinced. So, once I dropped friends home, I went to Tesco & bought 2 tests and another, darker line appeared! it's definitely looks like a bfp! Have the other to do in the morning so will report back.

Gotta shoot, pick up DD. Be back tomorrow. Hope you've had a good weekend (and enjoy the long weekend, which doesn't apply to me )

Oh shimmery so so sorry... the waiting is awful and then to get AF and v bad cramps is just horrid...enjoy your G&T and mac'n'cheese and really hope the cramps ease off soon...

marathon roast dinner sounds yummy...I managed a sandwich before cracking on with the painting again even though I ached all over after doing just 2 walls yesterday

Will catch up properly later but quick to say hello...back to the painting!

Thanks guys. Unfortunately, it seems that it wasn't to be. Started bleeding yesterday evening and have the most horrendous stomach cramps. My best guess is that implantation failed to work properly (so I'm going to class this one as a "late period" and move on). Feeling a bit :( about it, but it's also given me a bit of hope, as this was only our second attempt post MC and at least the egg was fertilised (so I can assume that DH's swimmers are OK and that I am properly ovulating).

Ergo, I will be having a G&T tonight with my personal favourite comfort food (mac 'n' cheese) which DH is thoughtfully providing to me. He really is wonderful.

Morning all...I'm in a PMA mood today so am painting the spare room/office nursery ! It's needs redecorating anyway and I figured whilst I'm still fine to balance on ladders etc I may as well get on with it and then it's a job ticked off the to do list for when I am pregnant!! Have chosen v neutral colours so will still be fine in it's capacity as spare room/office and will convert nicely to a nursery when the time comes I have the whole scheme and accessories planned in my head DH is fast asleep after a 14hour night shift at work last night so I'm trying not to drop anything or make too much noise as well!

A very warm welcome to zebra so sorry to hear about your MMC but hoping you find lots of PMA and helpful support and advice here...these girls are fab ooh...and thank you for the rocky road

OOH shimmery think that's sounding good! When I got my bfp last time it wasn't until about 15DPO and then was v v faint and got slowly stronger over a few days...and it was 19DPO before I got a bfp on a digi...people's hormones can multiply at different rates which is why it sometimes takes longer to show up...sending lots of PMA your way!!!

pie so glad you've made it to 11DPO with no spotting...that's great progress! Have a fantastic and super relaxing week!!!

eve for you with AF turning up...come and sit with me in the chocolate eating, hot water bottle cuddling part of the padded room...and cry as much as you need to! I did a lot when my first AF showed up...and indeed did on and off throughout the cycle after that...I actually found that was when a lot of the emotions from the MC seemed to finally surface. Be kind to yourself and take it easy. I tried to comfort myself that at least my body was 'returning to normal' and that I would have a date to work from properly for my next cycle.

Waves to everyone else...hope you're enjoying the BH Saturday...I'd better finish my and get back to the painting...second coat on first wall here we come!

morning all

Just a quick one to let you knoe AF showed up yesterday. I am so upset. So silly it is only the first month of really trying since MC and I just want to cry. Have houseful so nowhere to go for little sob. And DP sulking because I didn't want to sts this mornign with a houseful DS sleeping on our floor and AF.

Z - sorry you had to join us but this is the place to be - ignore my rant!

Shimmary - a positive is a positive... :-)

Hope everyone has a great weekend I will be sulking, drinking and eating pate. Oh and to top it off I have put on 2lb in a day due to AF. TFB!

Shimmery how many dpo are you? Fingers crossed a definite BFP is coming your way!!!! I am 11dpo now and no spotting (yet, although have probably tempted fate in writing that) which is a marked improvement on last cycle when I started spotting at 8dpo. I'm sure the acupuncture is helping? I spoke to him about my low progesterone level last night and he wasn't bothered at all, guess that's the difference between western and TCM. He put the needles in to increase blood flow to my womb.

Welcome zebra !! So sorry to hear of your MMC :(

Anyway, i'll be offline for a whole week! How will I cope! :) Hopefully lots of BFPs when I come back from hols! I have managed to lose my phone in the house (on silent) so will be on hols without it which is panicking me alot slightly!

Right, better go back as haven't done it yet and we are leaving after lunch! Have a good bank holiday weekend everybody xx

Right ladies - I caved (mainly because DH pointed out that a BFN would mean I could have a G&T today). And the result is...slightly inconclusive.

I had 2 Sainsbury's PG tests and have used both this morning. Consultation with DH confirmed a very very very very very faint line seemed to be present on one, and it was arguable about the second. It certainly wasn't blank, but it was a case of "tilt it so the light is right" to see it. As BFPs go, I am not hugely convinced, but at the same time I have seen definited BFNs (e.g. 6 days ago) and they are different to what I got this morning.

Now, last time I used First Response early tests, and the line was also v v v v v faint, so maybe that is to be expected for me. No idea if Sainsbury's tests are less sensitive. But of course, that PG was a failure, so possibly not a good comparator. Given the faintness, it is possible that it hasn't really worked and so is possibly on its way out. Also, my boobs really do not hurt. However, AF is still markedly absent.

Taking the results to be BFPs, I have, of course, done everything wrong since the BFN - cider, antihistamines and two lots of sushi spring to mind. Damn it.

This is really, therefore, a long way of saying I will have to buy more tests, wait a few days, and test again. If I get BFP then, I'll be more able to accept it. I think that I will go the digital route next time!