Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

996 replies

dooscooby · 20/07/2011 12:53

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

  1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
  2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
  3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
  4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
  5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
  6. And the presence of symptoms.
  7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
  8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
  9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.
10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

OP posts:
shellshock7 · 23/09/2011 14:14

Great news for your scan Lady really happy for you Smile

Food is a prob, I'm such a big eater normally and like everything so it's hard having a small appetite (but hungry all the time?!) and just not fancying anything? I'm sticking mainly to pasta, with the odd chilli and cottage pie thrown in? Oh, and TONNES of ice cream Wink

Ditto re checking everytime I go the loo - I think it's become such a habit now that I will do it for the rest of my life.

LAF77 · 23/09/2011 12:20

lady great news, so pleased for you! Are you and DH tall? I think that plays a part. My bean is 5 days ahead of schedule and I'm happy with that. I'd rather be ahead than behind.

We always find something to worry about! A friend invited me to go to the baby show next month in London and I told her I didn't want to buy tix cos I might not be pg then. I still look for blood everytime I go to the loo. I want to be happy, but easier said than done.

kat2504 · 23/09/2011 11:39

Yes I think we do manage our own expectations! I had a letter from the hospital about some blood results and my medication yesterday and it said "we will see you after your dating scan" and my brain automatically added "if I get that far and if it is ok"

Measuring a few days over is fine. It's hard for them to be accurate early on anyway, there were three days difference between a scan I had at 6+4 and 9+0 although I was behind on the first one. It could be that you actually are a bit ahead. Even if you are certain when you ovulated, there is a range of a few days of when implantation can take place.

So happy for you that all was fine at your scan :) Hearing a nice heartbeat is so reassuring.

As for food, I am loving macaroni cheese at the moment.

LadyMaybe · 23/09/2011 11:33

Hi sorry I was going to come back and update but ended up having a rubbish night with sickness, which continued today...bleugh
Scan was good, the heartbeat is still there and the Dr found it to play the sound as well so got to listen to it. Wish I'd had the presence of mind to record it for DH but it didn't occur to me - would have been a bit odd rummaging in my purse legs akimbo too Smile
I feel a bit unsettled because it was measuring quite far ahead - I know it's better than slow growth but anything other than 'normal' is going to cause mentalling. Anyway, it's within the margin of error and after some pretty intense googling I couldn't find anything saying measuring ahead at this early stage is a bad sign so am going try to stay positive.
Really having pretty major food issues at the moment, what did you guys like? I'm in need of inspiration.
I've been referred to the high-risk pg unit already (eek!) and got my appt letter today, talk about jumping the gun! Have to say the rec mc people have been unerringly positive, they don't do any of the 'if you get that far' stuff, just talk as though it will work out and this is the next step. I find it odd because uk nhs staff seem to 'manage expectations' a lot, I guess the idea here is that they expect the best and deal with the worst only if it happens. I suppose the women at a rmc clinic manage their/our own expectations, don't we.

Biscuitsandtea · 23/09/2011 08:15

Oooh yes - hope everything was OK Lady xx

LAF77 · 23/09/2011 07:41

lady thinking of you and how your scan went

Biscuitsandtea · 23/09/2011 07:04

Good luck Livin - let us know how it goes Smile

LivinInTheMoment · 23/09/2011 00:08

Hi everyone :) FINALLY!! I got my bookin in apointment, apparently there was some mix up and i shoulda been seen long ago. Hmm! Well i'm in first thing tomorrow morning to the hospital. Any tips on what to bring and what will happen? I know to bring a book for waiting ;)

Lady Sacroiliac joint pain is a lower back pain, near the top of your bum and to either the left or right side. Its agony sometmes, feels like my leg is about to separate off my body. its such a sharp pain. I get it turnin over in bed if i'm not careful, or getting out of the car, walkin down stairs, or if i bend over to pick somethin up. my auntie had it too so she told me all about it. And apparently i'm stuck with it for the rest of this pg Shock

Biscuitsandtea · 22/09/2011 21:58

If I wasn't so tired after ds's birthday I would be doing a little second trimester dance round my living room Grin. Not that there is any room at the moment as I'm too tired to tidy up all the birthday presents

scarletfingernail · 22/09/2011 21:51

notnow so very sorry to read your news. I hope you're being well looked after in RL.

Hello and welcome to all newcomers Smile

Biscuits 13+1 means that you have already completed 13 weeks so you are now in week 14 meaning second trimester (I think?!?) Confused

pigletmania · 22/09/2011 21:23

notnow Sad big hugs to youx

kat2504 · 22/09/2011 14:22

Thursday 21 September 2011

Bump 24+0 EDD 14/01/12
Hairylights 23+4
Mamarara 22+6
Pigletmania 22+6
ladybird33 22+6 EDD 22/1/12
purpletoes 20+3 EDD 08/02/12 next scan 04/10/11
angela85 baby #2 19+3 EDD 13/2/12 next scan 30/9/11
MrsSteph 17+6 Next scan 20/07/11
Stitchinline 17+1 EDD 29/02/12 next scan 24/10/11
Shellshock7 16+4 EDD 4/3/12 next scan 17/10/11
LivinInTheMoment 16+4 EDD 4/3/12
LAF77 14+1, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 13+1 EDD 28/3/12, next scan 16/9/11
Kat2504 11+0 EDD 12/04/12, next scan 3/10/11
Digitalgirl 10+4 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 21/09/11
Moomin 10+4 EDD 15/04/12
LadyMaybe 7+4, next scan 22/09/11
Boodleboot 7+0 EDD 14/5/12, next scan 20/09/11
Googie 5+4

On the grads thread too:
Daisybell - baby#1 40+9 weeks EDD 13 September
Mamapower - Baby#1 39+0 weeks EDD 28 September
Emoo - baby#2 37+5 weeks EDD 7 October
Tunnocksteacake - baby#2 35+3 weeks EDD 24th October
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 35+3 weeks EDD 24th October
Velvetcu - baby#1 35+2 wks EDD 25th October
MummyAbroad baby #2 33+6 wks EDD 4th November
CEP baby #2 33+5 wks EDD 5th Nov
Katherine2008 baby#2 33+0 EDD 10 November
Hils74 - baby#1 32+6 EDD 11/11/11
Collieandpup baby #1 31+4 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 31+0 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi baby #1 30+6 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 30+6 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby#1 31+2 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 29+3 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 28+0 EDD 12/12/11
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 27+0 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 27+0 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe Baby#2 25+1 EDD 5th Jan
Sunchild77 Baby #3 24+6 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff baby#2 24+5 wks EDD 7th Jan
Milkyways - baby #2 24+3 EDD 8th January 2012
Laylasmummy09 23+0 EDD 21 January

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... A&R; MumTum; Knitter, Mistress P, willitbe, twittwoo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance, Notnowimreading

just adding Notnow to the end, hope she is doing ok. I'm actually going to do a bit of a forum search and see how some of the other thinking ofs are doing. Haven't seen a post from Knitter in a long time.

How did I get to 11 weeks? 11 days till my scan. The time is dragging. I want my belly to get a bump or something, or my boobs to grow. Nothing is occuring with my boobs at all. They look just the same as ever.

I think daisybell must be about to have her baby too. How lovely - she was in the freak out room last time I was here. It is so nice to see people getting to the end of the road!

digitalgirl · 22/09/2011 14:14

To boost positivity I've updated the list for today, look how we're all coming along Smile

Thursday 21 September 2011

Bump 24+0 EDD 14/01/12
Hairylights 23+4
Mamarara 22+6
Pigletmania 22+6
ladybird33 22+6 EDD 22/1/12
purpletoes 20+3 EDD 08/02/12 next scan 04/10/11
angela85 baby #2 19+3 EDD 13/2/12 next scan 30/9/11
MrsSteph 17+6 Next scan 20/07/11
Stitchinline 17+1 EDD 29/02/12 next scan 24/10/11
Shellshock7 16+4 EDD 4/3/12 next scan 17/10/11
LivinInTheMoment 16+4 EDD 4/3/12
LAF77 14+1, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 13+1 EDD 28/3/12, next scan 16/9/11
Kat2504 11+0 EDD 12/04/12, next scan 3/10/11
Digitalgirl 10+4 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 21/09/11
Moomin 10+4 EDD 15/04/12
LadyMaybe 7+4, next scan 22/09/11
Boodleboot 7+0 EDD 14/5/12, next scan 20/09/11
Googie 5+4

On the grads thread too:
Daisybell - baby#1 40+9 weeks EDD 13 September
Mamapower - Baby#1 39+0 weeks EDD 28 September
Emoo - baby#2 37+5 weeks EDD 7 October
Tunnocksteacake - baby#2 35+3 weeks EDD 24th October
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 35+3 weeks EDD 24th October
Velvetcu - baby#1 35+2 wks EDD 25th October
MummyAbroad baby #2 33+6 wks EDD 4th November
CEP baby #2 33+5 wks EDD 5th Nov
Katherine2008 baby#2 33+0 EDD 10 November
Hils74 - baby#1 32+6 EDD 11/11/11
Collieandpup baby #1 31+4 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 31+0 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi baby #1 30+6 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 30+6 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby#1 31+2 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 29+3 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 28+0 EDD 12/12/11
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 27+0 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 27+0 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe Baby#2 25+1 EDD 5th Jan
Sunchild77 Baby #3 24+6 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff baby#2 24+5 wks EDD 7th Jan
Milkyways - baby #2 24+3 EDD 8th January 2012
Laylasmummy09 23+0 EDD 21 January

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... A&R; MumTum; Knitter, Mistress P, willitbe, twittwoo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance

Biscuitsandtea · 22/09/2011 13:55

Thank you all re the tummy sleeping thing. With ds I never seemed to need a pillow thing as once I had a proper bump I would have rolled off my tummy if I'd tried to lie on it and it was ok sleeping on my side. I think I'm just at that 'semi bump' stage so I can lie on my tummy but then it feels a but squashed and numb when I realise and roll over. I think what happens is I start on my side, go to turn to the other side and cos I'm tired get half way round and fall back to sleep! Anyway won't be long before I'd be defying gravity to lie on it Smile.

I know what you all mean about the long term thinking being weird. When I went for my booking in I was completely overwhelmed to be discussing birth, bf, pain relief in labour etc etc. I'm thinking 'hold on a second - let's see if there's still a baby in there first!'

Hope everyone else is doing ok, and notnow if you're still lurking, hope you're being taken care of xx

shellshock7 · 22/09/2011 13:40

Digital I know exactly what you mean about taking a step forward and then two back. I'm a bit further on than you so maybe having affirmative feelings more often (and our previous circumstances are different) but when something good happens, like feeling the baby or hearing the HB, and I get all excited, it's like my brain goes 'hang on, that's seeming far too much like you've accepted this is gonna work out' and throws a massive wobbler about something else...I have been really good and only doppling once a week, but started to feel the baby on Saturday and have doppled almost daily cos I'm so worried...it's weird how the brain works! My DH says until the baby is here we will always think something is wrong and I guess unfortunately that is true.

digitalgirl · 22/09/2011 13:19

Welcome limeflower hope your cold clears up soon. And most importantly that the next few weeks fly by for you.

ladym good luck with your scan! I agree with 13+1 being the 14th week and the start of the 2nd trimester. Still feels ages away.

biscuits re tummy sleeping, what bigmac said. If you're not uncomfortable then its fine. If you are, then you'll shift anyway. I had a pregnancy pillow with DS, which made things more comfortable, am hoping to get to the point where I can ask DH to dig it out the loft.

LAF I don't get to pick up my notes till my dating scan, so will find out then if I'm classed as high-risk. Although I asked the mw today what the situation was and she said that once I'm past a certain date I'd most likely be classed as low-risk in terms of the birth because my pregnancy and labour with DS was so straightforward.

I did get weighed today and worked out my BMI as 24.92 so really just skimming the healthy/overweight boundary - which, frankly, is amazing as I was convinced I was properly overweight with the amount of food I've been stuffing in my gob. But because I've got PCOS and my dad has type 2 diabetes I'll be sent for extra GTT tests anyway (bleurgh).

And because of my RMC history I'm being booked an appt with an obs for around 15/16 weeks for him to decide how to manage my pregnancy.

The MW asked me if I wanted to be referred for counselling in case I felt I wasn't connecting with the baby. I actually don't think I'll have a problem with that. I already feel protective of it. She even mentioned finding out the sex at the 20 week scan - which I think was her way of trying to get me excited about the baby.

It was so weird talking about this pregnancy with such long-term views. Talking about where I might give birth and breastfeeding. Felt very affirming to be honest. Unfortunately, I logged onto MN and there's a couple of threads I'm on where there have been miscarriages Sad which has burst the bubble and reminded me how precious it still is.

notnow still thinking of you...

bigmacandhappymeal · 22/09/2011 09:29

Hi to the new people and good luck for scans coming up today...

Just thought i'd say that like velvet I'm also lying on my back and sleeping left and right sides tipping over to the front over Phil my bolster pillow and new best friend. As you get bigger, back sleeping does put pressure on an artery which can make you dizzy/nauseous or worst case scenario faint but I have been assured that your body forces you to move if you get even a little bit near that point. In the third tri sleeping on your right can put pressure on the vena cava (I'm sure it's not spelt like that) but again, you'll start to feel uncomfortable and shift.

kat2504 · 22/09/2011 08:51

Apparently you aren't supposed to lie on your back because the weight of the bump can squash an artery that is beneath it, thereby potentially reducing your circulation. I've never heard anything about lying on your tummy. Perhaps get one of those special pregnancy pillows which will support the bump as you get bigger and train you to sleep on your side?

Don't worry about the High Risk. I've been put on it simply because i am a bit fat (also comfort bottles of wine after the mcs) and am on clexane. They have also put me at risk of antenatal depression, but this is mostly because of the high anxiety of pregnancy after losses.

good luck with the scan lady have everything crossed for you :)

Velvetcu · 22/09/2011 08:43

biscuits I still sleep on my back and half on my tummy (as much of it as is actually possible to be on) - I start off on my side but can't seem to stay there. Until 3rd trimester, there is plenty of room in there for getting out of the way. I get the numbness too - have read somewhere about nerves being pressed but didn't look into it too much.

Good luck for any scanners today

LAF77 · 22/09/2011 06:20

Thinking of you this morning lady hope all is well. Thanks for the comprehensive reply about pg risk. I didnt think about the risk between pg and birth.

RMC has been so hard on all of us, people may underestimate it's effects because the pgs may have lasted for several weeks, but the mental aftermath goes on for months and years. I'm ok with being heavy now because I will do whatever I can to sustain this pg. I'll deal with the weight after I give birth, if I dare to dream.

biscuits you aren't supposed to lie on your back after the first trimester, so it could follow the same for your stomach. I think it is more to do with it's effects on you vs the baby.

Good morning to everyone, off to the gym for some exercise to keep the pounds at bay, as best I can.

Biscuitsandtea · 22/09/2011 06:02

Lady am keeping everything crossed for your scan this afternoon - hope it all goes well. Am I remembering right that you are having scans most weeks? I'll be keeping everything crossed for the next scan and the scan after etc xx Do let us know how you get on.

I'm liking the 13+1 definition for second tri Smile

LAF I think you're right to just have a chat with your mw about the Hugh risk thing - she should be able to tell you why and what the impact will be, but as Lady (so very eloquently) explained there are oh so many possible reasons for it!

I have a silly question for you. A few times recently I've woken up lying on my tummy (am going to sleep on my side and generally managing to stay there but am by nature a tummy sleeper) and as I've rolled over my tummy feels a bit numb for a few seconds. Am I doing any damage or should I get it checked or anything? Confused

Hello to everyone else xx

LadyMaybe · 22/09/2011 00:53

Hi there,

LAF try not to freak out about the 'high-risk' classification. It can be triggered by lots of different things - high BMI is one, as it increases risk for developing gestational diabetes, so you'll probably be offered a glucose tolerance test to check for it at some stage (not all pg women have this). Your history of recurrent MC and diagnosis of increased clotting factor during pg is another reason - they'll want to ensure that the placenta continues to work efficiently throughout the pregnancy so you may have more scans after the 20 week one to check growth/blood flow (again, most women wouldn't after 20 weeks).
You may also be referred to have an anaesthetic review, as they'll want to put a plan in for what happens if you're hospitalised for any reason or any impact the clotting stuff might have on anaesthesia. It probably won't have any at all, but it's best to have notes about this etc.
The 'high-risk' applies to your care during pregnancy, not necessarily during birth. So along with your normal antenatal check-ups which will probably still be done by midwives either at a local health-centre/surestart centre/hospital, you'll get a couple of appointments with an obstetrician who will review everything to ensure things are progressing normally and schedule the extra things if necessary. Most likely, you'll get a review at about 37 weeks (i.e. once you reach 'term') to discuss the birth and if everything's looking hunky-dory you'll be able to choose the MW-led suite. At my hospital, there was only one labour section and it was MW-led as a default, they just called OBs if the birth looked like it was moving away from 'normal' progress. There's not much point in worrying about the birth until you reach term anyway, as if things kick-off before that you're premature and automatically need hospital help, and until 37 weeks things like breech position, etc, are still likely to change.
It's not going to be related to previous AD use.
(I was on high-risk for DS due to high BMI and history of PCOS, it doesn't take much!)

p.s. don't feel bad about the BMI, mine is likely to be worse, I was weighed after my scan last week and just about cried when I saw the number. I'm as heavy now as I was during my pg with DS.

My vote is for 13+1 being the start of the 2nd trimester, which is the 14th Week Grin

digi so pleased for another good scan and for graduating! Do St M's graduate everyone after 10 weeks or is it based on your particular history?
So a booking in appointment - the holy grail! This means you'll get your handheld notes, doesn't it? Goodness, how real. Lovely quick HB and making up the days is great (and also quite reassuring for those of us following, nice to know that a few days variation can change quite quickly).

moomin fingers crossed it's just the placenta digging in and bleeding a bit while it does it.

boodle good news that it's not ectopic, that's hurdle 1 jumped. Hope you see some progress on Friday that reassures you.

Hello LimeFlower mmm, your name makes my quease disappear, so lovely and refreshing Grin. Tooooooonnnnnes of us are the wrong side of 35, you're in good company m'dear. I think it's traditional to get a stinking cold the moment you can't take anything for it. I recommend steam inhalations or saline nasal spray to help the blocky nose and lemon/honey/ginger drinks. Double plus is the ginger might help any nausea that starts to rear it's ugly head. I've been lurking on the May thread too, I tend not to join as have had to leave several times (this my 4th pg after 3MCs following DS), but I think I might be brave this time as there are several ladies on May with a history of MCs and it's not too ''oooooohhhhh, I'm having a bayyybbbeeeee " yet. takes cynical hat off and puts back in closet

googie you may as well hop off to the dr and let them know you're pg again. As LimeFlower said, if the worst does happen, it's on record, and there might be the possibility of an early scan which some people find reassuring. Heavy boobs and sickie burps count.

Livin I'm afraid I don't even know what the sacroli-thingy joint is? What sort of pain?

Well I'm off for a scan this afternoon (am in NZ for any confused about timing of this post). I'm not too worried about it, but can't help feeling that this could be the last time I see my bean alive. Sad
Oh, in other news - I went to the opera last night - very good for distraction on the night before a scan.
And I'm wearing those seabands for nausea and they seem to be helping. Which is nice.

LAF77 · 21/09/2011 21:07

Still so pleased for you digi I have the same graduation pack from St. Mary's. I can't thank them enough for their care. I wouldn't be where I am now without them.

welcome limeflower and you will have lots of support here.

how are you today moomin? I don't understand your EPU procedures. At my hospital, we can self refer if we have bleeding. It just seems so random.

I have my notes from my booking in appointment last week. I've been classified as "pre-obese" which just seems unfair. I know that I have packed on the pounds after 3 mcs with lots of comfort bottles of wine and very little exercise. I am overweight, but I wouldn't classify myself as pre-obese. Measuring my cup size, I'm now an E, I think, so I have put the fat on in some of the right areas.

In my notes, I've been classed as a "high risk" pregnancy. I don't understand why, if this is because I've had recurrent miscarriage? I need to speak to them about this. I've had issues with depression in the past, but I've managed to get through the last 18 months without any ADs. I'm also anti-D, as I'm type O negative, so maybe this plays a part.

Maybe I'll have more support throughout the pg if I'm high risk, but I'd like to try to give birth in a MW led unit, and I don't think you are allowed if you are high risk.

LimeFlower · 21/09/2011 18:20

No probs Livin
Don't google!The outcome is always the same-terminal ilness.My pain on both sides according to google was ovarian cancer or failure.Turned out to be a gut problem sorted out with a few tablets.

LivinInTheMoment · 21/09/2011 18:05

Welcome Lime :) Can I call you Lime? Congrats on your BFP! Hope your cold clears up.

You too Googie hope you feel better soon.

Any of you ladies get pain in sacroiliac joint?? I am self diagnosing with the help of dr. google :( Will visit my real dr. if this pain doesn't pass.