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Original poster

Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

996 replies

dooscooby · 20/07/2011 12:53

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

  1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
  2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
  3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
  4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
  5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
  6. And the presence of symptoms.
  7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
  8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
  9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.
10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

OP posts:
Mitsouko · 01/08/2011 12:36

Hi, I don't post too frequently but might I join you ladies in the freak out room? I'm pretty freaked at the minute.

I'm so sorry to read about all the difficult losses recently, I hope that everyone is coping alright. I fully expect to be there myself any moment now.

I had a MMC last November, found out the baby had died at the 12 week scan. Was a total shock as I'd had no MC symptoms and still felt pregnant. I went for conservative management and MC'd naturally at 14 weeks. Suffered heavy blood loss so spent a few days in hospital. I bled for about 3 weeks afterwards, it left me really exhausted and traumatised.

After 8 months of trying, I'm now 6 weeks today. I couldn't even get the guts to test until period was almost two weeks late. I'm trying not to be too fatalistic, but really afraid of getting my hopes up too high. I'm 36, so egg quality is probably a big issue. I don't have any DC yet, so this would be my first.

I've been on the folic acid for about 18 months and off booze / coffee for the past few weeks in case there was a chance of conception. But I can't really do any other "pregnant stuff" iyswim. Not looking at books, not thinking of baby names, haven't even rung the GP yet. Not told anyone but DH, and don't plan to unless it sticks and I get further along.

I heard the rate of loss for women 35-40 was about 1 in 3. Is that correct?

Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading.

LaraandLittleBean · 01/08/2011 12:36

Ladies, for any Londoners / Southerners... a group of us in the grads thread are arranging a Sunday cake+coffee meet-up in central London within the next few weeks (so far 21st Aug seems good). We've started a thread within the pregnancy forum to arrange dates / venues etc. If you're around, please come and join!

Purpletoes · 31/07/2011 21:44

twoo I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you have lots of support in RL.

milky hope your back passage clears up soon.

I have had a relaxing weekend trying to not stress over tomorrow although thankfully it is in the morning so not too long to wait.

Had a picnic in the park today with loads of friends. Only 1 a boy noticed I wasn't drinking and asked my dp if he had something to tell them! Grin I have caught the sun thoughBlush .

Hope everyone has had a good weekend sorry for not namechecking on phone.

Hopefully back tomorrow with good news.

CollieandPup · 31/07/2011 21:03

Just wanted to say to twoo I'm so sorry Sad. You sound like you are coping admirably although I am sure you and your OH are devastated. I'm sure they'll be people on the mc thread with similar experiences, but if you look on the conception boards for the 'sixth form common room' when you are ready there is a group of really lovely ladies with, sadly, various mc experiences, serveral multiple. Lots of them used to be on the post mc ttc thread which I think you came from, but moved on after a while. Thinking of you x

lily good luck this week. I've been thinking of you lots.

Big wave to LILI hope you're doing ok?

milky sorry to hear about your rear bleed-sounds awful. Any better?

Waves to everyone else x

Velvetcu · 31/07/2011 17:02

Hello ladies

Just wanted to pop in and say hello.

twittwoo sorry to hear your news.

As for the poo issues - I still worry about pushing too hard and dislodging the baby!! I have also had a fair bit of back passage bleeding - it can be piles or just a little tear. I have a tear at the moment which pops when I go to the loo and squirts bright red blood everywhere. Sometimes I have to move my panty liner further back as it can bleed for an hour or so. Sorry for TMI but just wanted to share that it isnt that uncommon! Any good pile cream does the job for me :)

Also, all the little niggly crampy like pains are normal too. Can be stretching or wind (don't underestimate the power or the latter for making you freakout!)!

LAF77 · 31/07/2011 16:35

Thanks for the tip shell I picked up something similar from morrisons this afternoon. As I'm the hostess, I can be buzzing around without anyone noticing my (lack of) drinking.

Thinking of you twitwoo

milkyways · 31/07/2011 13:03

twittwoo I am so sorry that this is happening again. :( We are all here for you if you want to talk about how you're feeling. There is a recurrent miscarriage thread in the miscarriage section with ladies like us who have had consecutive mc's. I would just like to say, just because it has happened twice, it doesn't mean it will happen again. x

shell sounds alot like round ligament pain. I had continuous pain on my left side one day during week 9 and then it switched to the other side for another whole day. I still get pains when I sit in one position for too long too.

Thanks for the reassurance everyone. I do feel a bit embarrassed now, but the blood was shocking....This morning it happened again, but no blood in the toilet so I think it is healing. Will ask the MW about this on Tuesday. I am a bit worried though because I had a 2nd degree tear with DD and last night when DH and I were "intimate" it hurt all the way up to where the piles are and had to stop.
I have had the thought of straining and dislodging the baby in the past - only because of my tear - I fear it ripping open or something, and after yesterday I am a bit more scared about this. Another lovely thing to discuss with my MW on Tuesday - I hope she is prepared for a long session of my mentalling!!

freelancegirl · 31/07/2011 12:41

Oh Twoo I do hope ou?re wrong and that this is just one of those blood/clotting things you hear people tak about and re then absolutely fine ? as that DOES happen. Butif it is the worst I do hope that would mean doctors will take it all more seriously. I have had three all together but not in a row (no children ? the other two were years ago) but I also know of plenty of people who have had two in a row and then are fine for the next one. Keep us updated and remember we are here to talk to. And if it does come down to it, yes do try and enjoy yourself for the time in beween ? drinking, coffee, plan a holiday or a spa day if you can? but lets just see how the next couple of days pan out for you too.

I think that sounds like stretching pain too Shell. I have had left hand side pain too, all the way from ovulation onwards. I still have 'potential ectopic paranoia as they only saw an empty sac when I was scanned last week, hoping it was too early to see anything and I think I might go to EPU this week.

LAF it IS indeed totally a ridiculous thought that having a poo could dislodge the baby but it is also the same ridiculous thought I always have! I would definitely agree that you can have a drink. A friend I told said the best thing she found to not draw attention to herself was not to refuse a drink, just accept one and drink it slowly!

Yes the Due in March thread is fascinating to watch. There have been at least three miscarriages I have seen on there since it started but also a lot of symptoms swapping without our particular brand of added stress! Glad we have each other here to talk to.

shellshock7 · 31/07/2011 12:26

Hi LAF I agree with you 1-2 units a week is fine - my DH found these French stubbies in asda which are .65 a unit , if we are having people round or, like yesterday, having a BBQ I'll have one or two of these...max 2 a week tho? hope that helps x

LAF77 · 31/07/2011 12:11

twitwoo I am so sorry to hear about your situation deteriorating. Life is truly unfair sometimes.

milky hope that the dried apricots are helping you out.

I struggle badly with constipation sometimes too. I don't want to force myself to go as I worry that straining could dislodge the baby. Probably a ridiculous thought, but that's what I think. I can't believe that I would be prepared to share stories about not sodaily ablutions, but just so you know, you aren't alone. Granted I haven't been bleeding as a result of it.

Sorry I can't help you on your pains shell but I think it is good to check things out if you are worried.

freelance I haven't even considered checking the due in 2012 threads. That is presumptuous in my case I think. However, it doesn't sound good for the girl who had her dates put back by 3 weeks. That will never end well when that happens in early pg. (It's what happened to me last time around.)

I had dinner last night with a friend who is pg. I had to ask all the questions about her pg and plans and everything. It was almost like doing it through gritted teeth. I was quite shocked when she asked me if DH and I were trying again. I was on the H2O last night with the excuse that I had a slight headache. We are seeing other friends tonight and DH wants me to have a glass of beer tonight to not let them think that I'm pg. She would pick up on my abstinence for sure. He is adamant that no one that we know should know until 12 weeks. I don't think having the odd glass of beer/wine once a week is really going to do any damage. I know medical advise says, absolutely none. However, I don't think that my mcs have been caused by one small glass of wine a week. Is everyone else totally on the wagon? I must sound really bad!

shellshock7 · 31/07/2011 11:22

Hope you can doze off for a bit, and the pain eases off xxx

Twittwooo · 31/07/2011 11:10

Shell, that's okay - you've got your own worries. I really hope everything is fine. And stop googling - it really doesn't help!

I'm coping okay so far, but the cramps are getting worse. I'm trying to get some work done today but haven't been very productive so far! My husband is at work today, and he's feeling sad too, but we will look after each other when he's home. I think I might have to go to bed with a hot water bottle now.

Let us know how you get on Shell. x

shellshock7 · 31/07/2011 10:48

twittwoo I'm so so sorry, stupid iPhone, I missed yourposts. So very sorry that you are going thru this again, glad you feel you are coping ok but take the time you need to look after yourself x Hope you are being looked after in RL xxx

shellshock7 · 31/07/2011 10:44

Hi twittwoo really sorry things haven't improved overnight Sad

biscuits I'll be 9 weeks tomorrow...I've had a similar pain when coughing or moving and put it down to stretching but this is just there all the time, which I can't find any positive comments about when googling!

Think you are right, I'll go docs if still there tomorrow, thanks x

Biscuitsandtea · 31/07/2011 10:25

Shell how far along are you (sorry if I should know this already - struggling to catch up with where everyone is). As Twittwooo says it could be stretching pains?

Twittwooo · 31/07/2011 10:21

Morning Shell, no positive signs for me I'm afraid (details above).

Could it just be stretching pains? I've no experience of that kind of thing I'm afraid, but if everything else is fine it could just be that your body is moving and changing as the pregnancy progresses.

I hope it's nothing to worry about, but maybe phone your GP in the morning to put your mind at rest.

x

Twittwooo · 31/07/2011 10:16

I think you're right, although I fell pregnant straight away after my mc last month and my GP and I managed to work out the dates. The midwife today agreed with these, so I think as long as you take a note of when you had sex and got a positive test it's fairly straightforward. Just in case that helps anyone!

I think we do need a break for a month though, I might even have coffee, a few drinks and eat what I like! xx

shellshock7 · 31/07/2011 10:14

Morning, everyone. Really hope milky and twittwooo had a good nights sleep and have some postive signs this morning x

Can I ask for some advice, dr google is scaring me...I've had constant pain in my lower left tummy for 24 hours now and not just when I move/cough? Does anyone know what this is and if I should be worried (which I am!!)

Biscuitsandtea · 31/07/2011 10:08

I'm so glad you got a nice helpful caring mw to speak to. From what I can work out (based on no medical knowledge whatsoever) they like you to have had a period so they can date things should you fall pg straight away again. But I know what you mean about wanting a break. It is so emotional and the important thing is that the two of you feel ready to go again. Do take care of yourselves x

Twittwooo · 31/07/2011 10:04

Thanks Biscuits, you're so kind.

I'm really trying to stay positive and not dwell on things. Onwards and upwards! The midwife said to try again whenever feels right for us and that there is no real reason to wait, although she did remind me that the official line is to wait for a period. I think we will wait a month, just to give us both a break emotionally, but at almost 34 I'm not getting any younger!

Sending lots of positive wishes to you all. xx

Biscuitsandtea · 31/07/2011 09:56

Twittwooo I am so so so sorry to hear your news. Hope you get lots of support over the forthcoming weeks. I'll be thinking of you x

Twittwooo · 31/07/2011 09:54

Hi,

Thanks for your kind words and support. I just wanted to update you all. The bleeding is now red with clots, so I know what's happening. I phoned the EPU this morning and spoke to a lovely lady who was very kind and reassuring. She has advised me to wait until the bleeding stops, do a pregnancy test and check it's negative. She also gave me the option of getting blood tests done to check hormone levels, but really I don't see the point. She said it's a bit early for a scan, and to be honest I'm quite glad that I don't have to go up to the hospital and spend a day thinking and talking about it.

It's funny, but I'm handling this mc a lot better than the last time. Of course I'll now be constantly worried that it will keep happening but I must try to stay positive.

It would be really helpful to chat to people who have also been through 2 miscarriages over 2 consecutive months, but I know this isn't an appropriate thread for that. I'll see if I can find another.

Lots of love to you all, I truly hope things work out for you all. xx

Original poster
dooscooby · 31/07/2011 08:17

Hi there
Got the MIL staying so early morning wake up for me (not sure why I have a sixth sense for when people get up in your own house-wish I could just sleep through!)
Calling by to see how you're all doing. milky sorry to hear about your bleeding botty (!), it must have given you quite a scare indeed you poor thing. As horrid as it is, it sounds like nothing that will be affecting bub just the Mom (like most of these weird ailments we're destined to suffer from!). Perhaps the docs can give you some cream and/or stuff to make things a bit easier down there? I hope it isn't painful.

twittwoo sorry to hear about your spotting, I hope that it isn't what you think. I had pink spotting with this pg at 8, 9 and 10 wks and all appears fine now, so it doesn't always signal bad news, but I know you know your body and scenario better than anyone. Hope you can get seen at EPU soon x

Big waves to everyone else and good luck for those with scans this week purple I think? Can't remember who else -sorry.
lily great to hear from you too, hope you're doing ok

OP posts:
Biscuitsandtea · 31/07/2011 07:13

Oh Milky nothing wrong at all in your post - anything that involved blood in any context is bound to freak us out. Should I confess now that I had a little bit of blood when I blew my nose yesterday and had a mini panic before talking myself out of it?Blush

I only meant that it maybe sounded odd for me to find your bottom reassuring Hmm - the raised eyebrow was definitely in my direction!

If it is piles (I can't spell hemer haemer the other word) it is pretty common I think during pg so there must be something they can do? I have had various creams and even suppositories but wasn't pg at the time. Do get it looked at though as I found mine didn't get better until I brought in the big guns (as it were Blush)

Twittwooo hope you are doing ok this morning x

milkyways · 30/07/2011 23:32

Grin Thanks for the giggle biscuits...I've just realised how ridiculous I must be sounding talking about my bottom! Oh the embarrassement! I've decided to wait until Tuesday, and eat loads of dried apricots until then. Hopefully this will sort itself out.