Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

freelance you have a brilliant attitude to life:). In terms of NK Cell treatment, I don't really know much, but are the steroids you are taking, a constant form of medication? I'm trying to say, are you on them continuously, even before pregnancy to combat the NK cells? Or do you start them once pregnant? I really hope the yolk sac is a good sign that things are plodding along.

Congratulations on the scan livin!

Good luck to everyone with scans tomorrow! Also a big welcome to moomin - I LOVED the Moomins when I was a little girl! I still remember the song!

I've been having a few mentalling sessions about sprouting potatoes and paint fumes, but was reassured about the former in the pregnancy section, but still would advise everyone here to cut off the sprouting bits and especially green bits of the potato before cooking it as it contains poison that can be harmful to the baby. God knows how or why I remembered that from 4 years ago when I was pregnant with DD. I read it somewhere but can't remember where!
The paint fumes aren't so bad, I've found a water based gloss paint on the B&Q website, so my redecorating plans are still going ahead!

at everyone - hope those of you in the riot cities are safe.

Hello Ladies

I think this is the thread for me. I am currently 6+4 in my fifth pregnancy and going a bit mental with worry/anxiety. Not having too many symptoms at all and the ones I am having feel more like imminent bleeding/miscarriage :( - that feeling of 'period starting'.

I do have one DD who will be three soon and she is a delight and I know I am lucky to have her. Since then I have had a miscarriages in Dec 2009 @ 10 weeks, Dec 2010 @ 11 1/2 weeks and March 2011 @ 5 weeks.

I have had no testing done yet (but we know that 2nd mc was due to Turner Syndrome), but this is our last attempt on our own, if this one goes wrong then I will get referred to the RM clinic. I will be 35 this autumn so not really worrying too much about my age yet. I just get hung up on the potential age gap between DCs growing bigger all the time. It is so hard when you see everyone else moving on with their second and even third children.

I just feel so sure it is going to go wrong again and that makes me really really angry. I start off each pregnancy being positive, but I am starting to feel defeated by it all.

I feel jealous of all the pregnant ladies I see and feel a fraud for even thinking my pregnancy will result in an actual baby.

I have a scan booked for when I will be 9 weeks and just hoping I make it to then without any bleeding.

Sorry to read everyone elses stories and hoping for happy outcomes all round.

Just realised that I'm an idiot. Well actually I already knew I was an idiot but have only just realised that livin doesn't have a g - so sorry for misspelling all this time Livin

livin Im saying I'm not drinking on a works night tomorrow cos it's my cousins hen do on Sat, which will be a mega all day session so wanna be up for it...it is my cousins hen do, but it's in the evening and of course I won't be drinking!!

Hello! Yes am still here and lurking, just nothing to add. Thanks LAF, Biscuits, Stitch, Moom, Shell and others about your comments re the scan. Yes the most recent scan was Weds just gone. Still measuring small and only a couple of mm bigger than last time ? a yolk sac this time but still no embryo. Pretty sure that rules out a blighted ovum so it must be the high NK cells attacking I guess. Going to go back on Thurs to check again, but pretty sure I know where this is going.

I didn?t go for the intralipids treatment today, the specialist said to put it off to see what the scan said next week. No point in spending £350 on treatment when it?s probably not viable. I just don?t see how it can be ? only growing around 1mm all round in 10 days. Of course stranger things have happened but I don?t feel pregnant at all now and part of me just wants to know so I can have an ERPC and carry on with the next one! Does that sound like I am miserable? Actually I am fine. Probably trying to maintain some sort of detachment, but also actively trying to just enjoy life and not to focus on it too much. I mean, I am still here reading everything about it I can? but also trying to remain pragmatic and just enjoy the journey (sorry for the cliché!) of life :). There's a distinct possibility I might have to do this again and again, hopefully one day it will work but I don't want to let it take over my life. It has already affected my social life in terms of having to 'live pregnantly' (I guess that means not drinking!) and feeling a bit awkward around friends who don't know so I just want to try to minimise the disruption. Does that make sense to anyone else? I mean yes we are trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant after some traumatic times but we are still living the only lives we have so we have to make sure we enjoy them!

Sorry you are not feeling well Shell, what on top of the stress of being pregnant after mc anyway it's the last thing you need.

Biscuits time indeed does drag. Next time, for me, I probably won't schedule a scan until around 8 weeks. At least then I can mental without a specific reason to mental! I have no symptoms whatsoever now so I really think that is a significant sign. BUT so many people don't get any so there is every reason to be positive for all the rest of you.

LAF gosh that is indeed a lot of paperwork. But you are in no way jinxing anything, but I understand the concern. It has to be done too! 4D scans sound interesting. I wonder if they can see anything unusual there too, things that the EPU can?t pick up. I have to say I don?t have a huge amount of faith in EPU, you are in and out of there so quickly and no-one tells you anything! That said, the scan I had with my Harley St guy was just on a little portable thing anyway.

Great news about the scan Livin. It must be a real relief. Hope the rest of the experience goes just as smoothly for you this time. Re not drinking alchol I would say actually accept a drink. Is it a sit down dinner party or a standing up and moving around party? For the latter you can accept the first dirnk and then make sure you/OH are in charnge of getting the next ones. And then just don?t drink it! If it is a help yourself type thing no-one will notice after a while ? take it to the loo and pour a bit down if that helps

Stitch and Moomin, hope the scan goes well tomorrow. We all have our fingers crossed for you.

Kat, PUT THE CBDs DOWN!! You made me chuckle though as if I had them in the house I would be doing exactly the same. I am pretty sure they won?t tell you anything though so yes do go away without them!

Sorry to anyone I have missed. Hope you all have a great weekend and do lots of things that make you happy xx

Biscuits I will try that if i go! Ill plan it with DP and he can drink my drinks.
Its weird cos I just don't even remotely want a drink since getting pg, ive just completely turned off it and have no desire for it. Not like me at all! I am usually a big drinker and am always the one suggesting shots etc!!

and yeah time totally drags, i know i just had a scan yesterday, but i would go for one again tomorrow, just to check little one is still in there wavin and heart beatin away... sigh. Maybe i should invest in one of those dopplers too.

I'm confused now - i thought Freelance's next scan was next Thursday? If it was today hope it went ok

Thanks all re my scan news, phew it is such a good feeling, but it hasn't taken away the worry, well a little yes, but i'm still not going to be announing our news anytime soon... I have only told 2 close friends of mine so far. Its just plain obvious that my mind is so preoccupied, i had to talk to them and tell them. They are being real supportive so i'm glad i confided in them.

Shellshock sorry about the awful headaches, but that is a symptom, so don't loose faith, thinkin of you.

LAF let us know if you cave and go for a scan, its awful getting that literature again and again. After my mc had been confirmed by the hospital scan in late May that it was all over, a week later i got a letter of appointment for my 12wk scan it was awful, i rang to cancel too and told them i miscarried. So insensitive of them to have sent me that letter.

Moomin and Stitch Best of luck at your scans tomorw, will be thinkin of yous!

Kat positive is still positive! And that is great that the result displayed so quickly.

I need some advise though ladies, have any of you any good excuses for not drinking alcohol? I have to go to another party this weekend and i'm fast running out of excuses as to why i'm not getting boozed up. I've so far used these 3; anti-biotics, designated driver and up early the next day to drive. This party is at a neighbours house and can't use any of those excuses... Sigh. I'm thinkin of just not going at all and cancelling at the last minute.

freelance how did you get on today? Are you ok?

Thanks kat and stitch

Glad you had a better test result today kat, sometimes I think how did women used to cope without all the things we take for granted, but then I think they must of been better off as they didn't have all these things to give them extra worries! Agree with stitch re the lines on the digital tests, they don't mean the same as on normal tests x

stitch I know how you must be feeling about the scan tomorrow, try to keep positive and think of all the good signs you have been having

shellshock, sorry you are feeling so rubbish. I wouldn't feel bad about time off work at all - you are probably best to get a few days of good rest and then start afresh next week.

That being said as rubbish as I feel sometimes there is no way I can take time off (apart from my numerous doc appointments ) I just have way too many deadlines going on. Really need to get some procedures documented so someone else can do my work!

Kat good news about the increasing test - I don't think you should look at the lines on a CB digi though as I think the two lines even show when test is negative? something to do with it testing for both LH and HCG to do the dating bit.

I'm totally freaking out about tomorrow - friday afternoon is the worst time for a scan as if it's not good then will have a whole weekend of not being able to do anything - aaargh - need to work on my positive thoughts!

Well panic slightly averted, I got a 3+ today, which is the correct day for it to go up. The result displayed really quickly. didn't use fmu as always seem to wake up at 2am for the toilet. However, when I took it apart one of the lines is lighter than the last test that said 2-3. The mind boggles. At least it said 3+ and didn't go back to the dreaded 1-2. I think the concentration of the sample really does make a difference. I did a cheapie this morning that was not as good as yesterdays.

shellshock sorry you ae not feeling well. Sounds like you could do with a day or two off work to look after yourself. The mentalling is bad enough without headaches like that to make it worse. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

freelance sorry that the scan is still showing inconclusive, I hope you get a positive answer soon x

Amazing news livin you must be on top of the world

Moomin good luck for tomorrow, I know how hard the waiting is and how we read the worst into everything, fingers crossed it's good news x

stitch will be thinking of you tomorrow, hope you get through tonight without too much mega mentalling xxx

Bit of a me me me post I'm afraid, I'm having a bit of a bad time of it this week and have had to take some time off work Have been suffering with headaches, and have been really sidelined by them. It was so bad yesterday I had to sit with my hand pressing down on my head for about 6 hours and would just burst into tears every time DH looked at me . My pregnancy symptoms seem to have decided to disappear since Sunday as well which isn't helping my state of mind...it feels so long till my scan next Friday. I've come into work today, but feel like I've been hit by a train, not sure if I will be able to keep coming in if this continues Sorry for the mega moan!

livin excellent news on the scan :)

livin so pleased to hear that your scan was great :)

Good luck with the scan moomin I think even 6 weeks might be just slightly too early for a heartbeat but I hope everything looks reassuring.

Brilliant news, Livin. I bet your relief was immense!

I'm freaking out over my scan tomorrow. I actually felt a bit sick last when I was eating my dinner, and dared to believe that I actually 'felt' pregnant for the first time! I woke up this morning, and feel completely back to normal! Even the slight tenderness in my boobies has gone. Going to work in a mo for a 9 hour shift, hopefully it'll keep my mind a bit occupied. I think that I'm worried about the 6 week thing- I'm not exactly sure when I ovulated, so when I have the scan tomorrow, I could be between 5w 2d and 6w. Therefore, I really don't know what to expect to see on the scan, if anything at all!! I know it will probably be too early to see a heartbeat, but despite me knowing this, the irrational part of me will still freak out if I don't!! Arrrrrggghhh!!!!!

freelance it is horrible being in limbo. I've been there before and my heart goes out to you. I hope that they can give you a resolution on Thursday so you can proceed with optimism or start the process to get closure.

Glad that things are looking good for you at your scan livin

I'll sign your petition for daily scans biscuits

welcome moomin

I get it kat that you are freaking out. If you took the sample of urine that was diluted in anyway, it will affect the outcome. They can be temperamental like that. Enjoy your holiday without sticks!

I went to pick up my 12 week scan consent form from the GP today. This is the 4th information pack I've collected from my GP and it feels rubbish picking it up, like bad deja vu. I didn't like doing this. I had to book a midwife appointment as well. I hate making the appointments and then cancelling them. They ask me, "do you want to reschedule" after I ring up to cancel and I have to say "no" and then I hang up and cry. I shred the letters into little pieces so I can never accidentally come across it again. I potentially have a work trip coming up and I need to know what the dates are that they will see me before I commit.

I've made enquiries to a place near my work that does 4D scans to see if they perform early scans, so I may cave in totally tomorrow and see what is happening. I'm going mad.....

baby living even

Living glad you got some good news today and at making the scan wobble

Hi ladies, just stopping by quickly to share my news.

Had my scan today at last, they dated me at approx 10 wks, scan picture says 9w5d and CRL 28.64mm.
It was such a relief to see little one is ok. It was amazing, the nurse was pointing out body parts to us and right then little one lifted its arm and waved!!! I started laughing and the scan jumped all over the screen. So funny.

Can't stop looking at the print out picture, its just incredible. We are both so excited. I just hope an pray everything continues to progress well for us.

I will check in properly tomorow and catch up with everything thats been going on, wish i had time tonight but its all go here.

Sorry to hear what you're going through Freelance. I think that it's good that you'll be on holiday soon, hopefully it'll be a bit of a distraction, as much as it can be.
Biscuits I can understand what you mean about the worry of having to TTC all over again, each month ends up feeling like a very long time!

I think that if I have bad news on Friday, and I do manage to get pregnant again, I will not test until at least 2 weeks late. I'm feeling so anxious about the scan, still having a bit of bleeding and still not really feeling any symptoms to speak of.

freelance I'm sorry you didn't get a conclusive answer again this week. I can understand how horrible the waiting must be. Hope you are okay x

freelance sorry you are still in limbo and having to wait. I guess it's good though that there has been some growth. They won't write it off unless there's an empty sac of 20mm+ with no embryo. Hope you will know soon and fingers crossed for a good outcome.

I am freaking out today. STUPIDLY I got another CB digi out. The last one said 3+ even though it was much too early (3 days at least).Todays only said 2-3. I know that technically this is still correct until tomorrow or Friday, but I panicked as it had gone down. I should not have done the darned things. Using the same urine sample as the CB I dunked a cheapie and got a much darker line than I did on Monday. Annoyingly I will feel the need to splurge on more digis now. I should try to resist. All afternoon I have been thinking, Oh my boobs are less sore, I am not so burpy today, perhaps the bean is not growing.

Anyway in 2 days time I will be on my holiday. I will take NO sticks with me (that is the current plan anyway). I will not even think about being diffed, except food and drink stuff. That way, when I see the consultant when I get back, if it is game over I will not have wasted the time, I will have had a nice time even if I come back to shitness. If all is good, I will have had a doubly good time.

Actually that is what I want to be thinking. In reality I am seriously worrying.