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Original poster

Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

996 replies

dooscooby · 20/07/2011 12:53

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

  1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
  2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
  3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
  4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
  5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
  6. And the presence of symptoms.
  7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
  8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
  9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.
10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

OP posts:
freelancegirl · 14/08/2011 19:24

Thanks Milky and Laf! It's a bloody roller coaster this isn't it. I didn't have sex this weekend - parents are here and DH has been away! But we have to remember that my scans have been small and inconclusive. Laf I am hoping that your good scan will mean something at least.

Am taking a break from the evening's obsessive googling: 'when to try again after miscarriage' and going round the shop to get myself some comfort food.

Am also writing a list of things to do if not pregnant - they include friends I have been avoiding (go out and drink myself silly with them and prove I am not pregnant or avoiding them, of which I have actually been both), go for a wine tasting, have a cocktail night, go out dancing and book a holiday. Got to have things to look forward to. I am also thinking of trying again straight away this time, something I haven't done before. Why not have a go?

Obviously the pregnancy hasn't been totally ruled out until a scan this week but I am pretty sure it is, and got to have things to look forward too! Hope you can feel a bit brighter Laf and that I am NOT meeting you for cocktails next week. But IF we have to, lets go neck a few....

milkyways · 14/08/2011 19:12

LAF, sorry if this is too personal, but is there any chance you had sex before you saw the blood?

milkyways · 14/08/2011 19:10

Oh LAF and freelance, I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't know what to say :(. I really really hope that this isn't happening to either of you again and that scans show something positive.....You're both in my thoughts xx

LAF77 · 14/08/2011 18:56

Oh freelance I'm sorry that things are looking bad for you. I totally get what you mean about ERPC as I had the same thoughts this morning. The thought of testing is beneficial.

If you are feeling dizzy, that's not good and you should definitely get checked out cos you don't want your blood pressure to crash.

Thinking of you...

freelancegirl · 14/08/2011 17:34

Hello LAF I feel so awful for you as you sound understandably very, very low about it. I wish there was something we could do but I know that there isn't anything anyone can do really. I would say, and I know you think this doesn't apply to you as you have mentioned it already (and as Biscuits says) but we all know there are indeed plenty of women who get spotting and even full on bleeding and they go on to be fine. I KNOW you think that doesn't apply to you, from your past history, but you just never, never, never know.

Actually today I have had some brown stuff too. I think in the light of my small sac/not growing situation this is my body starting to do what it knows it needs to do. I found out when I went to the loo in a museum earlier! Shed a bit of a tear when I told DH and the folks but other than that am ok. I think for the last week I have been doing what your DH suggested LAF and living like I am not pregnant (apart from food and drink as you say). It has helped me detach a little bit I guess.

Just a bit of dark discharge at the mo but am feeling slightly dizzy so I know it might be on its way. If it gets worse I will go to A&E in the local tomorrow (I live in a different town on weekends) - make a change from going back to that hospital in London - my dreaded EPU. Sounds like we have the same feelings/experiences about that too LAF. Also this time I really think I want an ERPC so I hope it doesn't all happen too quickly for that. I would also like to see if I can get the products 'tested'.

Sorry if I am sounding a bit too detached, I just don't know how else to deal with it. Next time hopefully will be my lucky time. LAF I REALLY hope this one works out for you. I hate that you are feeling so low. I mean I am low too, when I think about it, it's just I have had a couple of inconclusive scans to point me in this direction so I have had more time to get used to it. Hooefully yours will all be fine. Not sure what to suggest about when to go to EPU/scan. It's all pretty crap really.

Angela welcome to the thread. It can be a bit up and down on here! We have had a couple of recent miscarriages from thread members and that can be upsetting and we have also had other people's scans go really which, which is amazing after they have had miscarriages but it also makes you feel a bit sad when yours isn't going right. That said, it is great to know there is someone to talk to and someone who can relate and one thing's for sure, we can all do that here.

Biscuitsandtea · 14/08/2011 17:20

I see where you're coming from LAF. Is it worth phoning the place you're going for a scan on Wednesday to see if they can fit you in tomorrow instead?

I hated our epu too so understand what you mean. They were nice and everything but such horrible memories Sad

LAF77 · 14/08/2011 15:58

I don't think so biscuits there hasn't been anymore since this morning. It was a minuscule amount, but any amount is bad to me. I have heard that aspirin can cause bleeding, so it could be innocuous. But I'm scared. Its too late as I already love this baby and can't bear the thought of losing him before knowing him. I don't want him to join his siblings.

I despise my local EPU and would only expect bad news to come from that room.

I have to always be prepared for the worst whilst praying for the best.

Biscuitsandtea · 14/08/2011 15:19

Just a thought LAF and sorry that this is a tmi question, but is there any chance it was blood from your 'back passage' (as my Nan used to say...).

I know you have probably considered already but just a thought x

Biscuitsandtea · 14/08/2011 14:51

LAF I'm so sorry to hear that Sad. I know that we could all say so many things to hope it will be ok, but we all know the potential heartbreak and it's impossible to ignore.

It might be worth calling your EPU tomorrow whether or not you see any more blood as it will be a long wait until Wednesday otherwise.

I know you know that it is possible to bleed with no implications but I do so feel for you going through this stress Sad.

I do hope that you are getting lots of rl hugs and support. I think it easier said than done to carry on 'as if we weren't pregnant' - easier for our menfolk to do that when they aren't forced to think of it every time they go to the toilet and check for blood and every time they have a twinge or indeed anything happen to their bodies. But I think our menfolk often deal with this by trying not to get too attached. They also often think they have to 'solve' the problem which is obv not poss (I am possibly making huge generalisations based on my DH - apologies if not accurate).

We're all here for you if you need us. Do take care and rest up today if you can x

LAF77 · 14/08/2011 13:35

Total freak out this morning. I've seen a few spots of blood on the loo roll. I am totally beside myself. Bleeding means the end. Other people can bleed in pregnancy and it's ok, but not me. I know there are a million empty platitudes that can be said, but only time will tell what will happen next.

I've had a good old cry this morning, knowing that the worst could be coming. DH can't understand me at the moment. He said I should act as if I'm not pregnant (other than food and drink) because of past problems. I told him that I never wanted to make the midwife appts or scans and think about the future.

I hate the thought of going to my local EPU, but if I see more bleeding today, I will try and go tomorrow to see what is happening as I don't know if I can wait until Wednesday.

I can't go through this heartbreak again.

Biscuitsandtea · 14/08/2011 07:09

Hi Angela.

Congratulations on your bfp - these early days are so nerve wracking aren't they? Good news that you have your scan on Monday though - good luck Smile

angela85 · 13/08/2011 23:13
  • barging
angela85 · 13/08/2011 23:11

Evening ladies. Wondering if I may join you? ... quick back story... I had a miscarriage back in march and am now pregnant again, no idea how far along as there was no period in between. Despite the fact that my midwife never even examined me when I saw her, she has decided that I'm about 11 weeks and has just made up dates of a last period to go in my pregnancy notes. I wasn't aware midwives were so talented these days that they know just by looking at you! needless to say I'm not overly happy with her. I seriously hope she is wrong as I'm huge already, and the thought of twins is really scaring me! I just really hope I'm carrying lots of water or something. I have a scan on Monday afternoon so I guess I'll find out soon!... Anyway just wanted to say hi, and I hope yet don't mind me bashing in. Xx

Moominsummermadness · 13/08/2011 10:58

Fab news Stitch!

shellshock7 · 12/08/2011 23:15

Fantastic news stitch, made up for you x

Purpletoes · 12/08/2011 23:10

Congratulations stitch

Velvetcu · 12/08/2011 22:05

Smile yay congrats stitch

LAF77 · 12/08/2011 22:02

Yay for stitch

milkyways · 12/08/2011 20:43

Congratulations stitcH!

Biscuitsandtea · 12/08/2011 20:07

Really pleased for you Stitch - I'll have an extra slice of pizza in celebration Smile

stitchinline · 12/08/2011 20:00

Quick post scan update- all was ok and measuring as expected for my dates. Too small for the NT scan so have to go back again in a week. Although I'm not complaining about an extra scan. Smile

Biscuitsandtea · 12/08/2011 19:14

Velvet nice to hear from you - it's always nice to hear from people who've made it through the early mentalling and lived to tell the tale. And of course I am sure that after this set of worries there will be a whole host more - fingers and toes crossed that everything continues to go well for you

Velvetcu · 12/08/2011 18:53

Hi everyone

Just popping in to catch up with everyones news. So sorry some of you are having a hard time or not getting the scan results which will give you peace of mind.

Reading through todays posts actually makes me realise how far I have come in this pg because I remember posting all of the exact same worries and fears on here from the second I got my bfp. Now I'm just worried about a whole host of other things instead!

Anyway, I hope the bleeding stops for those of you who have it (I had a few bleeds, usually around the time my period would have been) and that those with inconclusive scans get some answers soon. The waiting is awful I know. I planned an early scan so that I had time to have an ERPC and recover before flying out on holiday!

milkyways · 12/08/2011 17:27

Thanks for that information about NK cells freelance. I know alot of doctors and consultants (especially in my hospital) seem to disregard the theory; but after reading about so many women being treated for it and having babies, it makes you wonder.

Biscuitsandtea · 12/08/2011 14:30

I am so taking my sunglasses on Wednesday Freelance - a good tip. Maybe I should wear them in the supermarket too? Perhaps then they might think I was famous rather than an emotionally unstable loon.

Am hoping that since we are private for our scan we won't be stuck in a massive stupid waiting room with people with ENORMOUS bumps and thousands of children running wild.

Really, you wouldn't think it would be too much for the NHS to figure out that someone attending the EPU has 'concerns' (I mean people sailing through the pg just aren't there) so in essence their clientele are either suffering a m/c or at a much increased risk of one. It's not bloody rocket science to put those people in a different waiting area to the people getting all giggly over the first 12 week scan is it.

To be fair when I went to the EPU I can't remember that much about the waiting room (I don't think I even had to wait that long) but it was a totally different department (and floor) to those people having 'normal' scans and they were pretty good about it I think. They gave DH and I a little consultation room to discuss our options and then decided to keep me in overnight and gave me a room for that too.

But there are FAR too many people on here with tales of having to go to EPU and being left for hours with very pregnant people and stuff. It's cruel!

Don't know where that rant came from.

Back to the ironing.....