We are all jolly well going to get pregnant this month and then hang on to it and none of us will brook even the slightest argument

Wise words Have

I also think that the makers of pee sticks are going to come looking for us too

And you summed it up perfectly Scream

Ah farfalla (hey that comes up on predicative text!). I totally get how that sucks. I obviously haven't had an mc so I won't say I know how you feel. I've really struggled to be happy for friends and random strangers who are pregnant or have babies. please don't boot me off the thread for being a Bible basher but I'm a Christian. What's turned the situation round for me was something I read that said when you.envied someone, you had to bless them abundantly. Trust me, I have not found it easy but over the last few weeks it's released some of the anger I've been harboring. I hope you feel better soon.
On a more amusing note, I passed tampax in a shop today, idly wondered if the producers would wonder why their sales were down and eventually track it back to this thread!

Thanks gals, you are all LOVELY.

Sorry you have had a shite day too Scream.
You are right, the BFPs on here and some other threads I am on make me genuinely happy, no bitterness.
And deep down, I am really happy for my friend, she has had some shit times herself, not TTC but other issues.
And she was so sweet in her email, I know it must be hard for her. I remember having to tell a friend who had just been dumped by her boyf of 7 years that we were engaged and it was AWFUL.

IT WILL BE US NEXT, IT WILL BE US NEXT

Ah farfalla (hey that comes up on predicative text!). I totally get how that sucks. I obviously haven't had an mc so I w

I'm sorry to hear you've had such a difficult day Farfalla, ttc is just overwhelming sometimes!

There's a lovely woman in my office who got married around the same time as me a couple of years ago, we both got promoted earlier this year, and I knew she would start ttc around the same time as me. Well she confirmed yesterday that she is pregnant (12 weeks) and even though I get on well with her I just couldn't help being incredibly upset. I've just been absolutely gutted ever since I found out, moping around and crying at home.

It's such a disproportionate response, I haven't been trying long at all and for all I know she could have been trying for a year - even if she got pregnant in her first month of ttc though I should still be happy for her!

On the other hand though, I think it's hard to be happy for anyone unless you've actually seen them struggle through the process. Getting to know all the lovely ladies on this thread, and seeing you go through the same crazy emotions as me, means that every time one of you becomes a pee stick endorsed pregnant person I'm really truly through-and-through happy for you! Whereas in RL when someone says they're pregnant you just imagine they woke up one morning, decided to get pregnant, and hey presto it happened! Which is unfair.

I guess I'm not helping much farfalla! I'm sorry. I just wanted to say that your reactions are perfectly normal, you're still a wonderful person, and you will get through this! Soon you'll be over on the ante-natal singing away to power ballads. In the mean time though, everyone on this thread is 100% behind you!

Thanks Love. yes I am really quite shocked at my reaction, horrified about it really. Its reassuring to hear its normal! I keep on re-reading her email just thinking but its Not Fair, you already HAVE A BABY.

Right, get a grip lady.

You are not horrible at all, farfall. I felt so resentful of people getting pregnant when we were TTC and felt really quite spiteful towards people who got pregnant very quickly or who, in my mind, "deserved" a baby less than us . I felt horrible for feeling that way but couldn't help it. While I haven't (yet) had an MC, I can only imagine that that makes it a million times worse. You are not a horrible person, you are a lovely person stuck in a horrible situation.

At the risk of denting the thread's positivity, TTC is, in my experience, not fun if it doesn't happen in the first few months. I felt like I was going mad and hated swinging from "I bet I am pregnant" elation to "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, AF arrived" despair. Right now I am permanantly exhausted and constantly nauseous but it is so much better than rollercoaster obsession of TTC. I really hope this doesn't come across as smug, it's meant to be quite the opposite.

And now back to positivity, everyone! You are all pregnant and this thread will very shortly become obsolete as you will all be over on the antenatal thread.

and wine

Thank goodness for MN and chocolate

Thanks for the fanning, and the kind words.

What did peopel do before mumsnet? Go mental I shouldn't wonder!

Go on then, chuck us a cookie

xposts farfalla - that's just it: you are not in control when ttc and that is very hard to deal with.

Ooh yes, happy to fan you both.

My DH is actually the opposite in that he feels pessimistic about pregnancy (I've had 2 MCs and 1 DD) - last time I was pregnant he was cautious (and it turns out he was right to be so). I don't think it's real to him until there is a babe in arms. We don't talk about ttc, but I suppose he must know we are trying (or not not trying as he would say). MN is great because I can talk about it as much as I want without letting on to anyone in rl.

I'm now at the stage where I'm ready for a BFP and I've been practising my visualisation and positive thinking - I'd rather be optimistic about it than not. I suppose I'm of the school of thought that the outcome will be the same, whichever attitude you have, but the journey is a lot nicer if you enjoy it.

Right! Who's for a chocolate chip cookie? sod off Dr Dukan

Yes you are right generic, its this terrible physical longing, its making me question my sanity to be honest. I used to be normal before this TTC malarky, honest.

It has not even been that long since we started trying so I know I need to Pull Myself Together. Being a control freak is not helpful in these situations is it?

Oh Farfalla you are far from a terrible person. Generic is right, it does get easier as time passes. And my DH is exactly the same as yours. Sometimes that makes me so mad, but in a way, I am glad, as sometimes he makes up for the positivity I lack.

I always thought the whole TTC thing would be fun, but it is all I think about now too. In a way, I think that having a MC takes the excitement out of the TTC experience, cos no matter how much we all want that BFP, we are all slightly terrified at the same time.

We are all here for you. I'm fairly sure if I budge up a bit, there is a bit of room on the chaise lounge for Generic to fan us both

I think it's hard for DHs to relate - it's almost like you have a biological need to be pregnant again (that's how it feels for me anyway). He is right though, it will happen.

Keep talking to us and we will try to help.

Thanks gals, just what I needed, knew I could rely on you.

DH's response was 'babe chill out - don't be sad about it - it will happen for us '
I know you and he are right but I also can't seem to focus on anything but getting pregnant, it consumes my every waking thought.
I know its so unhealthy, how do I let go?

Farfalla totally agree with little - it is understandable that you would be upset about what you have lost. Let yourself be a bit upset and I really hope it's not too hard when you meet up. You will be preggo again very soon, I promise.

If it's any consolation I have stopped automatically working out how many weeks I would have been after my MMC in late March, so it does get easier as time passes.

Farfalla, you are not horrible. And I'm sure you are happy for her - you just want to be pregnant too, so are having very mixed feelings. And the fact that you would be 8wks makes it such a tough situation. It is a totally normal reaction and you will need a bit of time to get used to her news. Let yourself be a bit sad, then get back to brooking no argument about next month!

Right, I need a kick up the arse please gals.
Having a major negative thinking wobble.
One of best friends has told me she is 8 weeks pregnant, exactly what I should have been. She emailed as we are seeing eachother and she knows what happened and wanted to let me know (We are out with others)
Thank goodness because my first reaction was my stomach sinking, followed by bursting into tears.
What sort of a horrible person have I become that I can't be happy for my friend?

I think Facebook is trying to tell me something. An advert for maternity clothes just popped up on mine

Oh Little that made me chuckle I do have a lot of crap stuff in my cupboards, but no flax

It's not Thursday for AGES Generic

Right, I've just been looking for a low carb substitute for you maybe and google suggests apple flax muffins. Have you any in your cupboard? No? I'll get some over to you now. I think you need some sustenance. It's a long 9 months...

I promise that if I get a positive pee stick which i doubt I will I will eat a big pile of carbs.