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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

42 and scared to become pregnant, but would like to be pregnant!

31 replies

script · 05/07/2011 09:56

The subject says it all! I have a dd aged 14 and a ds aged 12 and have always wanted a third child. Lack of money was the main reason we didn't go on. The years just slipped by and I was content ferrying the kids to their different activities. Any time I brought it up my DH just said no, too big a gap. He however, now realises how important this is to me.

For the past six months I have wrestled with the decision to have another. It has been all consuming. On the one hand I would love another child - if only someone could just wheel in the pram! On the other hand I am terrified by the miscarriage risk, risks of chromosomal abnormalities and stillbirth. I am not really worried by the age gap as I have read lots of really positive posts regarding only children. Our child would just have a much older brother and sister.

Basically I would love another child but am petrified at the thought of it all going wrong. DH and I are very healthy and have no medical problems.

I would so appreciate your thoughts- I am so aware that I have to make my mind up now.

OP posts:
SlightlyBabyCrazed · 06/07/2011 19:47

Hi, this may be a mis-placed comment, but is it the physical sort of yearning to be pregnant and have baby or just want another little being?

If you don't need the pregnancy bit - have you considered adopting/fostering? There are still a lot of kids out there is need of a good home, you clearly have the mothering knack with the brood you have mentioned!

Just an observation, apologies if unhelpful

Hunterswish · 06/07/2011 19:29

Hi :)
I believe so yes there would be support out there for you, sometimes we just get ourselves tide up in knots with the what ifs and when we have too much time to think? Sometimes you have to just let fate play a hand and see what happens next and address accordingly?

Best of luck xxx

ciwi I am truly sorry for your loss :(

HRHMJOFMAGICJAMALAND :) and why not !!! lol if you and DH want more children and you can have more children why not? :)

Original poster
script · 05/07/2011 19:35

Thank you for all your valid points - I know no pregnancy is guaranteed to go smoothly.

It is great to hear how well the age differences have worked out for your families. I know that it is how you bring them up that matters and not the age difference between them. My dh is 5 years older than his brother and they have never got on. This has led to his belief that an age gap of bigger than 2-3 years doesn't work. He has however changed his mind.

I start to feel stressed when I think about getting pregnant - perhaps because I was last pregnant so long ago, or simply because it can be stressful parenting children when they are older. Although they are both great kids.

I am frightened that I am going to be so stressed if i get pregnant that I don't enjoy the pregnancy or worse this has a detrimental effect on my unborn child. Would support be available if this was the case?

OP posts:
HRHMJOFMAGICJAMALAND · 05/07/2011 17:33

This reply has been deleted

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ciwi · 05/07/2011 17:31

Hi, I have to agree with hunter I am 32 and have suffered a stillbirth and a miscarriage so it certainly can happen at any age. I also have a brother who is 10 years younger and a brother who is 10 years older than me. I get on very well with both of them and always have and my 2 brothers also get on very well with each other despite a 20 year age gap they often go out together to concerts and stuff. You would also have live in babysitters - lol.
Just telling you how things worked for my family but as you said, it is your decision to make. Good luck whatever you decide to do x

Hunterswish · 05/07/2011 16:19

Hi I am 40 pregnant with my 8th child and a Grandma! My eldest is 23 so there is a bit of an age gap :) Sadly we can suffer from miscarriage at any age, chromosomal abnormalities and stillbirth again although they are swayed to our age group it happens to younger women too?
I have had no problems and all tests have come back low risk and fine...it's a choice only you and your DH can make hun :) Who knows how long it will take to fall pregnant? The fun you both can have trying though :op
You and DH need to talk regarding the fact if you were to find anything wrong with the pregnancy what your next steps would be, I only had the blood test as my DH said it didn't matter as we were blessed either way :)

Hope you guys come to a decision soon take care:)