TTC 6+ months plus, part 2

I do appreciate that is tough and I didn't intend to belittle how tough it is to have to find the money. But here I end up paying twice (or maybe three times). I pay to fund the NHS through my taxes and NI. I pay tax on health insurance provided by my employer (although that unfortunately doesn't cover fertility stuff). And I will likely end up paying for at least some fertility investigations and treatment myself because even if I have the patience to stick with the NHS system (doubtful) as pout and others have found out, they often won't fund treatment at all or beyond a certain point.

Can you tell I am in a right grump today? Woe betide any tourists who get in my way (I work near St Paul's and the dithery tourists are irritating even when I am in a good mood!).

Gaga I am inclined to agree about the NHS (PC or not!)

I was actually due to start the Clomid next cycle!

Gosh that's so bloody annoying, what are you going to do? Is there no one you can phone to complain?

Must say, being rather un pc here but it riles me that we pay so much tax yet certain things you can't get on the nhs yet all these people on benefits use it constantly... That probably sounds awful!

When I had an nhs appt I had to sit in a waiting room full of pregnant people and got asked when I was due. A friend of mine had to have a d and c and was put on a ward to recover with a load of teenagers who had had abortions. Insensitive!!!

Biscuits and tea how many months on clomid had you done when you got pregnant?

I am on your behalf euro, how could they lose it twice? Surely if the GP can prove they sent the referral then the hospital should honour it and squeeze you in. This process is hard enough without having to battle because of administrative errors.

I know you pay for the nhs through your taxes, it's just we are having to find money up front and that is tough and we also have to pay for compulsory health insurance each month but it doesn't cover anything fertility related. And we still have to pay an excess for everything else so even when I visit the Dr for anything I have to pay until the excess is reached. So it has made me appreciate the nhs more. But I totally understand that there can be rubbish care when it comes to fertility. At least we feel like we are getting good service and things are moving quickly. Sorry you are sick too

Oh Euro - it's awful. I know what you mean about just wanting them to sort it out - why should you have to stress yourself out having to complain about everything.

And oh how annoying the 'are you sure you're not pregnant' comments? We had got married late twenties but been together for years and if I went out after work and didn't drink I'd get loads of that sort of comment. I'd be like 'no, I'm not drinking because I have to drive an hour home!!' Gah .

I don't even know what to say to you - all that on top of food poisoning :(

Could you leave work and go home to get some rest perhaps? You need to get yourself over the food poisoning xx

Yes, it is indeed twice that they have lost it. I don't have the energy to complain at the moment. I just feel exasperated by the whole process frankly.

And when I came in this morning and told my seccy I was feeling like shit and had food poisoning of course she asked "are you sure you're not pregnant?". Everyone is waiting for it to happen. Getting married in your mid-30s to someone you have been with for years after you have made noises about not being the marrying kind, makes everyone think you have done it to have a baby. Which we did. I just wish it wasn't so obvious to everyone around us!

Euro what a rubbish thing the hospital have managed to pull off there .

Sorry you're having to go through all that shite and have food poisoning too - hope they sort it out for you double quick.

What a stupid thing to ask about the scan too!

When I had to get my prescription for Clomid the bloke asked if I was pregnant or something stupid and I felt obliged to point out that the prescription clearly said on it for 'INFERTILITY'. He was quite embarrassed about it though. Probably worried that I might burst into tears or something.

But that is nowhere near as annoying as your hospital losing the referral - is that twice now they've lost it. I would threaten to report them to the PALS or something if they don't sort it out yesterday.

Is that the right sort of thing to threaten - I think they deal with patient complainty type things?

Hope they sort it out xx

and at the scan question. When we went to see GP for our results we were sitting opposite a young couple who were very obviously (to a woman obsessed with these things) there to tell the doctor that they are newly pregnant. Could hear everyone laughing through the door to GP's office while we waited as well. Would have much rather been following some sniffly sneezy person....

Yes, they are. The hospital gave me a particular fax number and name to use. I called the GP and they said that name and number is where they sent the last one...

The bit I enjoyed most was being asked if it was about an appointment for a 20 week scan. NO BECAUSE IF I NEEDED ONE OF THOSE I WOULDN?T NEED THE C0CKING APPOINTMENT!

I think I have NHS rage.

I think that the only word for that euro is f**k

Is your GP chasing it up? They made the referral so they should be helping you to follow through with this.

And I just called the hospital. They can find no trace of the referral.

I despair. I really do. It was first sent on 8 June so I have lost the best part of 2 months to NHS administrative cock ups.

Sorry you're feeling so low euro. Food poisoning is miserable and won't be helping you to feel calm and composed when dealing with people on the phone! I hate making phone calls at the best of times - have always found it really nerve-wracking. If I can possibly do something without speaking to a real person I will take it every time, even if it takes twice as long

Nelly I hope your in-law visit went smoothly, despite the unwelcome arrival of AF. I can proudly say that I haven't killed my mother yet :o

Hope you find the shrine, purple and have a lovely holiday. I am normally a cynical old cow but I am now ready to give anything a go!

The thing that grates though, mrsden is that it isn't free - a massive amount of my tax goes to pay for it. And yet I can't get access to the services (GP appointments are like golddust and take hours of calling to get one, lost in the admin of the first consultant referral I have had in about 10 years). I put so much in and get so little out. The NHS isn't really universal healthcare anymore - it's healthcare for people with the time and energy to work the system.

In case you hadn't noticed, I am in a right grump. I have food poisoning so my guts are churning. And AF is due tomorrow. As I had a massive temp drop this morning, I know there is no hope this month. Sigh. I am trying to level myself out before calling the 9-12 phone line. Because if they have lost my appointment again, I might just lose it.

has started, even.

Also popcorn I do believe it's best to be as close to 7 days before period starts as possible to have a baseline to monitor progesterone against. It's hard without a crystal ball though, isn't it

Quick hello. Another long and very rubbish day at work. And the icing on the cake was spotting had started. FFS .

Really busy at work so struggling to keep up but boo for periods turning up, crappy NHS, friends leaving and all the other bad news; and yay for shrines and shagging

Better go, in-laws are visiting

popcorn ideal is day 14 for ov so 12 is def better than 17

Thanks pout and euro. I know that I'm being melodramatic and we will stay friends one way or another. It will be a transatlantic flight to see them though, so not very often. My parents have friends who weren't able to have kids and they sort of adopted me as a surrogate child. I think I had in my head that her children would feel the same way about me that I feel about them. A bit ridiculous, I know .

popcorn the has just been opened :o

Euro sorry you are having problems with your appointments. Generally I am a big supporter of the NHS but I think there are major problems there, especially if you fall down a hole in their systems and procedures. I also think that some staff forget that they are dealing with people who are often upset and at their most vulnerable. A lot of the staff are under loads of pressure but sometimes this descends into rudeness which can be very upsetting when you are on the receiving end.

Madness crap about your friend, sorry. The only thing I can say is that it's so much easier to keep in contact with people abroad these days, what with things like Skype, I know its not much consolation though.

Mrsd the thought of all that cash you are spending is painful. At least in the UK we should get the tests done sooner or later without having to shell out. As for worrying - I would love not to worry constantly but it seems to be a way of life for me at the moment. The only thing I've found that helps a little is meditating; I have a 15-minute cd that I listen to when I get home from work. I do find it slows the constant racing thoughts down a bit.

Karbea Loving the sound of the acu.

Well after thinking I was gearing up for ovulation at the weekend, I did an OPK today and got a positive result so I think it'll be tomorow. I'm only on CD 12 and this in unheard of for me, I have long cycles and nearly always ov on day 17 or 18. Immediately started thinking 'menopause' but have concluded it's more likely (hopefully!) to be the effects of the Agnus Castus I've been taking. I hope it's given me a nice fertile egg and DH manges to produce some normal swimmers tonight!

It has cocked up my plans a bit though, because I'm due for the Day 21 blood test a week Monday, which will actually be Day 25 for me (as instructed by the GP due to my long cycles). Does anyone happen to know if the fact that I have ovulated early will make the test invalid, or does it not matter as long as you are still in your LP when you take the test? I'm not sure whether to try and change it or not.

Hi to everyone else. Think I'm going to have a tonight, anyone joining me? x x

Pout - haha, no am not a knitter. DH has a few holes in his trousers and as the woman I have to sew them! Really he should just buy more but all funding is going to my gynae at the mo.!

Euro - sorry about your troubles, it's just so frustrating.

Mrsd - out of interest is ICsi cheaper where you are than if you were to come back here and do it privately?

Madness- sorry about your best friend. My Bf left for 5 years and I found that really hard.

Karbea - keep us posted with the acu , hope it does the trick!

Hello to everyone else.

Good luck with the day 21 tests mrsden. I'm sure that they won't find anything else wrong, but I completely understand the worry that they will find something. I went without health coverage for a while in North America and I remember how shocked I was when a the bill came in for a simple blood test to check my iron levels so I can't imagine how much you must be paying. When talking about trying IVF and maybe going private (3 year wait in this area if we have to go down that route) dh was really wonderful and said that the money would be a small price to pay to make me happy. Would have been better if he'd said "us" but still very sweet of him.

Karbea I keep thinking that I should try acupuncture but have yet to pluck up the nerve to find someone and give it a go. Anything that will make me feel that I'm doing something proactive would help me to be a bit less stressed about this process, I think. Fingers crossed that it does the trick for you :)

Hello, How are we all?
I had acupuncture today, I really quite like it, he makes me feel very positive.
I'm on cd 22 dpo9 today, he is currently working on extending my cycle, so fingers crossed I make it to cd27/28.

how annoying euro, sounds like they are totally incompetent. I do think that maybe fertility stuff is given such low priority, they probably think if they mess people about those that can will go private. But I have to say that I would love the nhs because I have had to pay for every single thing so far. Every blood test, SA, consultation, scan etc and it is costing us a fortune (and I do mean a fortune) and this is not even for treatment just the diagnosis stuff. So I would have been very grateful if I could have had these tests done for free. But I suppose I am getting them done much quicker than I would have done on the nhs. I see the gynae tomorrow, no idea what is next because I think she still wants to make sure I have all the tests done before being referred to the clinic. I will be on CD14 tomorrow so hopefully I can get the day 21 test done this cycle. I feel nervous about going though, I keep thinking she is going to discover something else is wrong, worry, worry, worry!

Oh Euro that is so frustrating. I am a huge believer in universal health care, but that doesn't mean that it always works well. Phone tag and people passing the buck is just about the most frustrating thing there is.

I am having a very low day today. Found out yesterday that my best friend is moving overseas with her family - and they're leaving in October :( I know that I moaned about putting up with her all the way through her most recent pregnancy and how hard I found it when she gave birth, but I've gotten past it and both yesterday and today my mum and I went round to take the newborn for a walk so that she could have some quality time with her 3 year old ds. Have had him for sleepovers many times and had so many plans of what we were going to do together when he got bigger. I'm an only child and my dh's sister swears that she's never having any (40 now so she doesn't have long to change her mind!) so we've taken on the role of aunt and uncle with these kids and I can't believe that they'll be gone in just a few months. They're not from the UK originally so I always knew that this might happen, but they just registered their ds for a new nursery and I thought we had at least a few more years.

She is also going to make me break my rules about having no baby stuff in the flat, because she says that they're putting together a box of maternity clothes and baby things that they want us to have. It is lovely of her, but I don't want a box of nice things, I want my best friend to be here to help me through either a pregnancy or fertility treatment.......... [selfish and self-pitying emoticon]

Doesn't help that I think this move is a terrible idea because she will end up at home alone with two kids and a husband who has to commute to and from work, having given up her permanent teaching posts in the uk.

Well done to anyone who made it to the end of this! Has all taken me by surprise and I will be much less emotional about it in a few days.

My appointment saga continues.

I phone the hospital to follow up on the appointment (this is after I called the GP to follow up and found out that the hospital could find no trace of the referral made 6 weeks earlier...).

Called the number the GP?s Receptionist gave me - can?t see the appointment. It might have been sent over to outpatients.

Call outpatients - can?t see it. It might have been sent ?upstairs? to be scanned (whatever the f--- that means). Says it was only sent last week as it was sent on 18 July. When I say it was originally sent on 8 June she says ?well I can?t answer for that?. Helpful.

Give me another number. That person only works 9-12. So I have to wait until tomorrow to call them.

The NHS just needs completely dismantling. I was about to say and putting back together again but I am going to leave it at that. Grrrr.

At least we have the option of throwing money at it and going private. What about the people that have no choice but to put up with this sh1t? The service is really just appalling. I pay a huge amount in tax, rarely use the NHS and when I need it, get lost in the admin.

Meh. Sorry. Just wanted to rant.