Fantastic 40+ thread - part 4

Hi hairy I remember you, I have a list of names and ages on my phone because I'm hopeless at remembering everyones ages and you're on it ! Congratualtions

Dp on shift until 8 and don't want to text him. Didn't plan to test but felt so rough on way to station to get my mum and ds I got sainsburys test. Didn't expext anything as only 11dpo and not fmu but straight away there was a blue line there. Feel incredibly sick and tired so maybe that's a good sign. Need to digest it I think.

"I've also heard that it's a good idea to spend time around babies - sometimes difficult to do if you've had a mc but seems to have worked for a few people I know. "

I have a new baby nephew (now six months old) I wonder if he had anything to do with this one going better - Ive seen him at least once a week and he's definately brought me a lot of joy and a new sense of wellbeing.

Hello.

Sorry I haven't been around, have had lots on my mind, with recurrent MC testing (which came back clear - no causes found), giving up, starting again and generally mentalling. Hi to anyone who remembers me.

I am just popping buy to give you some good news.

I had a private scan today and I'm twelve weeks and four days pregnant :)

I am forty three years old and have had three miscarriages in the last year ish (last June, November and February) ... so this has been a difficult 2.5 months since finding out I was pregnant again.

Of course, I know have all the mentalling about whether to have prenatal tests etc, but I am bathing in the good news at the moment!

I rang the doc to book in today - hadn't done it yet as was fearful and didn't want to count my chickens as it were. But weeny is in there, with a strong heartbeat and the right size, and was waving at us!

I've taken this last couple of months very easy, and I've been on 150mg aspirin a day. Who knows why this one is different, but so far, so good. x

GG so sorry xx Just not fair at all - have often been thinking of you and your quilt. Have missed you on here too xx

Panashe A bit of both perhaps? Big hug for you. Babies are always wonderful news of course - have fingers and toes crossed now for your wee bean.

BB no news is good news, is it not?

Gum big hug for you too. Think it must be normal to feel exhausted by it all. Maybe you feel a bit cross with the early scan - it seemed to provide so much reassurance, and it wasn't to be. Not fair at all.

Diege don't work too hard - think you are amazing to cope with your tribe and extra work. Just mindful for the UTI/scare I got at 25 weeks - please don't over do it - will you?

Hippy how is the move shaping up? I hope you are fitting in some SWI even it wont' be a clomid baby?

Welcome bollocks - am sure you will fit nicely in here

Hugs to everyone else x

This thread is like a roller coaster 11dpo bfp , wouldn't you know it would be this month ! I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

hi there Gum not staying away - have been in London all weekend with no internet access. I am staying with my sister at the moment in B too, and no access there -I'm feeling bereft! So sorry you've gone through this again.

GG life is just so unfair. I think we went through our mc's together last feb (that was a horrible month for so many people I think). I'm sorry you've gone through this again.

I need to do another test really to see whether I'm still pg. I have to buy one and then be brave I think! I am taking progesterone, and don't know whether a period would still come if i continue to take it. I thought it would, but who knows? otherwise I would normally start to feel sick around 7 weeks which is next week, so am slightly tempted to wait and see.

hippy did your mn IOW friend go and look at the house for you? We moved most of our stuff this weekend - it's chaos! and very scary.
mitzi my dh is/was the same. There's no way we could do the SMEP as he just didn't have the stamina to do 2 days in a row!

bollocks hello!

GG that's such sad news
Gum you sound very strong and incredibly sensible in your reasonings. I can see what you mean about early scans, but as you say it is early days to makie any decisions, but I think your general aporoach to ttc-ing is pretty sensible.
Hippy how goes it on the house front? How did the 'viewing by proxy' go? (sorry if I missed an update).
All fine here, though getting pretty stressed out with the marking on top of usual job, the kids playing up and feeling very tired too. I really shouldn't moan, but think this will be the last year of A level marking for me as just too difficult to slot in alongside everything else. The money will be missed but nothing else!
Love to all on this very hot Monday morning!

God, there really is no justice Hippy - oh Galwaygal, I'm so sad for you.

How's everyone else going?

It's slow and steady here. Saturday was a good day, with hardly a tear, but Sunday I felt flat, sad and teary, tired and drained, all day. Having done this a few short months ago, I kind of know what to expect and frankly would just like to skip it. It is too hard! I've never been someone who gives up easily, but this grieving malarky, I can do without....

Hippy, I hope you don't remain homeless for too much longer. I watched "Grand Designs" last night, and he was in the IOW. What a gorgeous place - I can see the attraction. It looks like a beautiful place to raise your kids.

I've changed my mind about these early scans. If I go on to do this again, an early scan won't help. Having seen a healthy heartbeat in both pregnancies, only to have them die shortly after, how would it ever be reassuring? Next time (IF there is a next time) I won't do anything until I've made it to 12 weeks. I think deep down I want there to be a next time, but my brain is telling me it might not be such a good idea. I know now is not the time to think about it. I should revisit it once I've seen the doc and discussed the test results. I still have no idea how my DH feels about it. That will also come in good time.

BB - how are you feeling ? Please don't stay away because I had a mc - I still want to hear all about the pregnancies and how everyone else is.

GG (())
hiya Hippy xx
Hi all xxx

Hi ladies no time to catch up with you all, just (selfishly) want somewhere to sound off. Ultra frustrated. FF suggests I am likely to ov this weekend. DP "too tired", "not in the mood", "don't feel like it" to DTD last night or this morning. I'm on a promise for tonight - which may or may not materialise - but it might be too late by then. Grrr!

Gum I cannot imagine how your dh's dad must have felt after the prognosis + rethink. How traumatic. GGs words were so sensible and practical. I'm glad you're physically over the worst of the operation. There will be aftershocks, but I believe they are less disturbing when you know that that's what they are.

GG thank you for the list. It's good to see where everyone's up to. You must have an incredibly organised brain. As you can see, mine's a mess (hence the two CD dates!).

I'm nicely gliding down the temp scale to CD28, which is brilliant. I know that STARTING to temp when you're no longer having sex is an ODD thing to do, but I thought it would be good to know what my body is doing anyway. It's a really pretty chart - and not too dissimilar to one I did last April - which is good news. Still ovulating, still getting progesterone highs and still on time (well, for this month, at least) at 45. My eggs are no longer Colombian Black-Tail' beauties from Waitrose, I admit; a little more 'Happy Shopper'. But, you know, I wish they could take them out, x them, and miraculously put back the ones that will get to 21 weeks. Now, wouldn't that be brilliant?

Choicolatelymilk I just read that article, which has made me feel all positive and hopeful again! oh dear. Perhaps I should stop reading!

GalwayGal, I'm so pleased you dropped in, and thankyou so much for your kind words. They really help. And all the luck in the world to your pregnancy this time. You really do deserve a happy ending (we all do, but you really have had a run of awful luck).

I just wanted to drop in and tell you the surgery went well. The worst of it was the sleepiness all day and now a sore throat (from intubating, I think). Emotionally I am feeling okay. I don't know how long that will last though. I hope it won't be as rough as last time.

I'm feeling almost certain that I won't be trying again, but I know that now is not the time for decision making, and I also think - perhaps I could just ttc until the end of the year, then leave it at that. My DH did say he wanted me to wait til November (he said that before this pregnancy, and since the mc we've not discussed it at all).

I'm not going to bring it up for a while, til I'm more emotionally stable. And DH has his head caught up with his dad's illness too. Would you believe on the afternoon of the ultrasound with no heartbeat, his father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and told 2 - 3 weeks! Then the bloody incompetent bastards told him (half a day later) that the initial prognosis was wrong, and it looks like a benign psuedo cyst on the pancreas - which is not life threatening. Thank goodness, but my DH had a pretty rotten afternoon.

Welcome to the new members. I haven't read that article yet, chocolateymilk but will have a look now. Anything positive is a welcome relief.

I'm starting my diet today. I want to lose some of the extra chips, fatty carbs and cake I merrily ate my way through whilst pregnant!

So cute, see the lovely three black babies in a row.

www.babycenter.com.sg/advertorials/anne-geddes/slide-show/

Bollocks2u welcome.

May I join please?

Age 42, DD1 is 5, DD2 is 14 months. 1st month of trying for DC3.

Was told I could not have children at 26 following a badly managed MMC and dreadful badly managed infections. Both DCs conceived naturally. History of triplets in family.

Sorry , spelt your name wrong still cool though!!! Crappy I phone!!!!

extremlychoccolatelymilk great name!!! That article is very interesting after my DD was stillborn last year at 41 weeks we started TTC pretty much straight away . I turned 40 in December as Georgie was born in October cue much panicinig from me that I wouldn t be able to concise again quite rightly I was told by my Midwive and my sister" how does your body suddenly know you re 40? How do your eggs suddenly decline over night??? " yes I m aware it's a decline in fertilty but gradually, I guess, like all in life needs approaching sensibly, easier said than done!!!!
Hi all hope everyone's well? Very busy at work off out with a couple of friends for tea now!!! Xx
Congrats GG. xx

extremelychocolateymilkroll yes, I heard that, about being around babies. I agree it is hard to do but actually for me not such an issue. I am OK with small babies. When I was a bit younger I really found it hard to be around pregnant women, particularly before I had my daughter. Now, although I would love a baby I do have my DD and so the pain of infertility or fertility issues is not nearly as strong.

Italiangreyhound I have also heard that you are more fertile having had a baby once. I've also heard that it's a good idea to spend time around babies - sometimes difficult to do if you've had a mc but seems to have worked for a few people I know.

It's always good to check out why you're not conceiving - or miscarrying - and not just assume it's due to age.

Can anyone recommend links to Fertility Friends or other websites for people who are trying for babies later in life or through IVF, please? A friend would like to know and I only really use Mumsnet! Thanks.

extremelychocolateymilkroll Thanks for linking to that article. It's wonderful and amazing that you got pregnant both times. I also got pregnant (naturally) after the birth of my daughter (by IUI) - sadly I MCed. I could be wrong but it is my understanding that you are more fertile after you have had a baby (something about your body knowing what to do) or is that rubbish?! So your first lot of treatment may well have started things off a bit, of course I have no idea but just wanted to say that sometimes things seem to work like this.

I read Baby Next Time just at a point where I was looking at immunology issues, it is very interesting and I borrowed it from a Care clinic.

My only comment would be with the article is that it says "?They can?t adopt in their late 40s, so conceiving becomes the only option. That?s not their fault, and I hate the presumption that they are selfish women who have put their career first.?

I totally agree it is annoying to have 'putting your career first' as a reason not to conceieve in your 20s or early 30s. I had no suitable man in my life until my early thirties so it really was not an option much sooner! However, it is not necessarily true that you can't adopt in your late 40s, it may depend on where you live and lots of other factors.

In terms of 'unnecessary' treatment I guess the difficulty comes when people are trying for their first baby in their 40s because it might not be clear what the problems are. A good fertility clinic should always find out what is needed as much as it is possible to say! I had treatment in my late thirties but we had lots of tests to find out what the problem might be, and no real answers. But five years later and lots of sex with intent has not resulted in a pregnancy, so in my case the doctors were right!

Doctors are sometimes proved wrong but at the end of the day individual parents and parents to be have to make the best choice in terms of what they want and what they think they need. I am also under the impression that as you get older IVF is less effective anyway, but don't quote me on that.