so here it is, a new home for us newly updiffed ladies or still seeking that golden egg after a mc part 3

Afternoon all

Back at work today......boo! Well 8.5 days to go, will go quickly. I slept so well last night, I always do during a storm for some reason.

worm I wouldn't worry about the milk thing....I'm sure it'll all come together. At one of my classes, prob the b/f one, they said that some people have it in advance and some don't but it will come. What they said was on day 1 the baby sleeps a lot and won't necc be that interested in feeding, day 2 the baby will want to feed ALL THE TIME but you won't have much just that colustrum thingy but that is fine because the baby's tum is tiny and the purpose of all the feeding attempts is not to actually feed but to stimulate the milk. And day 3 you'll be gushing full of milk. I think I've got that right.

I noticed stains on my bra which are bits of leakage but only very tiny and not all the time. And sometimes a tiny bit of 'crust' on the nipple too. Once I squeezed and freaked out when something came out but I've tried it since and it doesn't work now. I was trying to work out where the 'ducts' that you are meant to squeeze are for 'self expressing' and have concluded that I don't have any! Apparently the hospital has a bf person on the post natal ward at all times so I'm planning to ask her. Or there are helplines and stuff to phone.

So kool it did freak me out too but didn't progress to anything so should be fine.

worm sounds like you have a lot on your plate, can't believe it's happening for you in 2 days......so jealous. How lovely it's going to be to hold your baby.

I was having a bit of a freak out last night about the whole being a mum thing. I've focused so much on the pregnancy, staying healthy and the birth that I haven't given much thought to the bi that comes after. I really have no clue at all and no experience either and cannot really imagine me changing a nappy or having responsibility for a little person. I'm not sure I can do it and the idea of not sleeping is terrifying. So trying to feed and look after a baby and being sleep deprived at the same time......I can't see me coping at all. I'm very worried I won't be able to b/f or that it'll hurt too much or arrrghhhh......need to calm down a bit!

It was werid coming to work today, for some reason I thought I'd have some kind of special treatment and not actually be required to work but that seems not to be the case. Not much chit chat about Xmas or anything, just straight back to business......bah! I am feeling ok but I'm sure I'll be knackered by Friday.

sparkly sounds like you are doing really well, you sound so calm. My DP is going to be off work for 2 weeks but when he goes back the plan is for him to spend most of the week in the spare room. We've bought one of those bedside cots so you push it up against your bed and can reach/pat the baby during the night and hoping that will work.

bedside cot

Have you tried swaddling? Lots of people have said it helps the baby to sleep/sleep longer? Feel free to ignore all the above as I'm still with the theory at the moment.

I've got loads of books but have only read the birth ones....must try harder and read something about what to do when she arrives and get that hospital bag sorted........

Right I think that's enough waffle for one day.....big snuggles to everyone

worm, how topical....I'm in about something that happened this morning .....I'm already, erm, producing and I'm only 27 weeks ... I had a weird mark on my pj top last week and thought it was odd but presumed I'd spilt something on it without noticing. Then this morning I noticed it had happened again (on clean pjs of course!), so I had a little squeeze to see, and sure enough a tiny bit appeared. Is it wrong to say that it turned my stomach quite a lot ever so slightly? I've still got 13 weeks to go! I have fears of being nothing more than a squirty, walking udder by then!!!

I know this doesn't help you, I'm sure yours is imminent, I think I'm a bit early tbh...

Life in the sparkly household sounds lovely! Would you recommend that book then? I'm keen to do what it sounds as though you've done, which is learn your baby, then consult the book (rather than the other way round) but I'm quite keen to read something and am quite keen for it not to be GF!!

He he spawkly
I have a few names I am thinking twice about because of the R issue. What makes it worse is our surname begins with an R too.

I am getting worried about there being nothing in my boobs. I have had no leakage and even gave them a squeeze just now to see if anything came out but no, nothing!! I need there to be stuff in there in less than 48 hours!!

You sound like you really are a natural, did you keep the cord clamp? I did and I didn't even wash it!!

Busy day for me today, I have so much I want to do, last minute things to do, I need to get my mother organised for DGF's funeral, colour her hair buy her and outfit etc, as well as get DS's haircut, buy shopping, eat big macs, and I am still sat here on the laptop in my dressing gown and soaking wet hair. After an enormous amount of activity from baby yesterday it is resting more today, like I knew it would, but it still terrifies me! 2 more days of worry........

Aw, congratulations to Harassed and Max Reuben! Lovely name, Reuben especially I like - I considered that one but have an issue with my R's sometimes, and a dniece called Wooby so would have been too much . That's a fighting weight, bet dad is chuffed! Gabriel has put on further weight and is now 8lb4oz, can't believe I'm doing all this work and Max is still a couple of pounds ahead
Just out of a hot bath, and gearing up for another unpredictable night; must say, I much prefer the mornings, it's quite a relief to wake up at 5am-ish, nappy change, feed, then hopefully a light snooze waiting for dawn to break. I tend to get up and feed the cats for a bit of normality, then bring a cup of sweet tea back to bed (bought a thermos cup to keep it hot)

I don't feel too sleep-deprived yet but always welcome the positivity of a new day. That said, things are already seeming easier, I think the hormones are easing and I'm less disposed to burst into tears at the slightest thing. Feeding still going well if quite constant, but DH is now getting more confident with settling Gabes when its general comfort he needs rather than a boob; he (DH) got quite disheartened for a bit, because Gabes kept crying, but it was due to hunger and now he's feeding well he will settle nicely with DH against his bare skin and happily snooze for a good hour after a large feed. That's during the day, nights are pretty much constant feeding on and off, until I eventually pass out and Gabes gives up mithering and drfits off himself about 4am.
We have revisited Penelope Leach's 'The Essential First Year' which now we are 10 days in is providing a lot of reassurance that we are doing well, and our worries are perfectly normal. Gina is still on the shelf for the time being
I'll post some photos of the little man very shortly, he is adorable and whilst not yet quite in this world, is starting to become less cross eyed more alert. He is a good little chap and only cries when a boob takes longer than 5 seconds to be unleashed, or when he has his clothing removed. He also cried throughout his first bath, I had erred on the side of caution and made it shallow and oh-so-cool, and this was utterly wrong, so he now luxuriates in a deep, pretty hot bath and seems to really enjoy it. His cord stump fell off after about 7 days, and with it went the putrid smell, yippee! His skin is a bit flaky so we got some olive oil from the chemist which we rub on, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, he looks like a Sunday roast
Still a bit paranoid about co-sleeping, we've taken precautions of removing duvets and stuff but I'm not quite comfortable; we're considering DH moving into the spare room for a bit when he goes back to work, he will need the sleep and it will give Gabes more bedspace; I think that might be the only solution as there is no way he'd go down to sleep in his basket for any length of time; have you found anything that works Wombat?
Your photos are lovely by the way, good to put a face to the name; although have just realised you are not actually called Wombat
Ooh, little fella awake, about to profer a pendulous boozum so will be off.

Re taxis we've been advised by the hospital not to mention being in labour and to get quietly into the cab! But if you give the hospital as a destination at 2am surely they'll work it out. We are going to give an address in the same street as the hospital and hope for the best!

I am very impressed you got him out without use of the sunroof harassesd hope milk comes through soon.

I don't mean to worry you London ladies but somebody on the January board is stressing about taxis not taking labouring ladies due to insurance ? Might be worth checking. Hopefully she has the wrong end of the stick.......

The top and tail bowl is because they only recommend using cotton wool and water for nappy changes in hospital . Well they did 10 years ago when I had dcs its more necessary for me really,knowing I will be in for 3 days. You ladies will pop yours out no problem and may not even have to deal with a poo nappy in hospital. I will also need mine for bed bathing myself on day 1.
Fingers firmly crossed the new treatment does the job for dh kool

Glad you are home harassed sending milk producing vibes. I read somewhere that drinking milk helps.

Congrats harassed, wow, you did brilliantly! What a great start to the new year. I'd love to see pics as/when you're fbing, I'm friends with wombat, mrsb, wellie and worm - totally understand if you're a bit busy tho!!!

wombat, yay, roll on May! I was looking on the heals website earlier, they've got some funky looking wall stickers - not a patch on your mural but a decent option. Our nursery is pretty tiny so I plan to keep things simple. Did I mention that I'm managing our Edwardian house renovation? Madness! Can't wait to move in but it's all going to tie in with my due date, which should be interesting....

Worm I'm due 4th April, so a little while yet. Exciting that I can finally say its this year though! Thanks for asking, DH mostly sleeps, new treatment this year, so all fingers crossed. It's a lovely thought to have Harry as a middle name, it's a lovely name, but only do it if you want it. I think you're doing the right thing with the funeral, it'd just be too soon and probably pretty stressful. Perhaps you could mark the day at home, cuddling your LO, looking through family photo albums or something. (I'm very aware that I clearly have no idea about the demands of a LO yet though!!). I was reading a thread in the pregnancy topic earlier about bfing and someone's worries after a nct class. Someone on there mentioned something about your milk coming in differently (later?) after a section so I thought I'd mention it to you. You probably know this already but I can find the thread for you otherwise.

yellow I've been reading lots of threads about what to take with you and I don't think I've read about a top and tail bowl anywhere....might be worth giving them a call to find out - i'd be interested to know the answer. I have the same concerns as your DP about getting to the hospital when the big day happens as I'm not going with my closest hospital but it's the one I'm happiest with. We go there pretty regularly with DH and can take a good hour sometimes...

A very quick one from me, promise all the details later.

Max Reuben was born at 2.15am on New Years Day weighing 9lb 15.5oz (yes, that big!). It was a bit of time, about as far from my home birth as poss without a c sec! Having a bit of a job feeding him as he's so big, so can't wait for milk to come in.

Morning all

What a pain not being able to sleep worm but I guess that is to be expected being so close to your date and with all the emotion of bereavement. Not sure what to advise re names, I think you can always manage to offend someone somehow so you should just focus on what feels right for you.

Nobody mentioned a top and tail bowl to me, do I need to get one?

Re DP going away it is set for first 2 weeks in march so depends when baba comes. If on time he'll be here for a month so just depends. The trip can be cancelled if I insist ask but it would be better in these uncertain times if he went. We'll see.

I have bought stuff for my bag just not assembled it yet. I'm hoping to be out of there within hours but packing for longer. DP is panicking about not being able to get cab on the night but living in fairly central London I cannot see it being an issue.

kool thanks for the offer, I am north but I guess they do have trains/tubes etc

Will catch up more tomorrow on proper keyboard, have v annoying stiff fingers today.

Your photos look brill wombat very clever that you sussed out the mumsnet mates thing as sparkly isn't on FB and will get to join us all in being able to picture you and Jack now. Thanks for the tip on the little first things bag. I will do that today. I had so far done the one bag for me and one for baby but forgot to pack my top and tale bowl which is apparently needed in hospital for nappy changes. While we all pretend we aren't going to just go on to wipes the minute we get out of hospital!!

yellow how unfortunate about DH having to go to Oz, is the date he goes already set in stone or moveable should you go past your DD? you really should get that bag packed you know.........

kool remind me again when you are due? Your meet up sounds great, and with you being London based you are far more likely to make real friendships as you will be able to physically stay in touch.......how lovely. How is DH doing?

Congratulations to harassed on her eye watering birth! 10LBs!

It is stupid oclock again and I am rather pissed off that despite deliberately denying myself any nan-naps yesterday I still can't sleep!
The date for DGF funeral is the 12th, so I will be 6 days post section and have had to accept the fact that I simply won't be able to go. The 6 hour journey each way is just not practical in a day and I don't want to stay overnight and be away from my other dc's when I have just got home from my hospital stay of 3 days in all likelyhood. The fact I am bringing a new member into the family at this sad time seems to be giving the family comfort and I will go down in february half term and pay my respects then and introduce baby to the family. I have also been mulling over having Harry (DGF name) as a middle name if we have a blue one, but unsure about it. I don't want to offend any other family members who have also passed on recently. (like they would ever know.....) What do you think?

I was just in the bath and when I used my tummy muscles there was a big weird lump in the middle. It would appear my abbs have separated all the way up to my ribs. I have made a mental note to request to see the physio while still in hospital to get some exercise advice or I could be destined to have pregnant looking tummy forever.

It felt very odd not having a hangover yesterday, we had a takeaway curry which was lush and I pushed the boat out and had a pint of shandy! If the amount of farts I had yesterday are anything to go by baby was in a jakuzi for the day a smelly one at that!

Tell me about it yellow - all I could manage was a sip of DH's g+t! Not weird at all re: a suitcase - I took 2 holdalls in the end - one for me and one for bubs. They also advised us in antenatal classes to pack an "emergency" small bag (I just used a plastic bag) with one vest, babygro and hat in case they need to whizz you off for a c section and it saves DP rummaging around (although he will need to know where the emergency bag is in your bag) and you can pack it with the stuff you would like her to be wearing in the inevitable thousands of newborn photos. Eek re: DP being away for that time! Great you have a good network around you for help though. I have found it surprisingly hard to be so reliant on other people - I never thought of myself as particularly independent, but it seems I must be! Thanks for the tips on the expressing - I am only doing that in the morning. What concerns me is what would happen if some days (i.e. weekends) DH did the 3am feeds but some days I did it? Never happy am I?! Perhaps he can do the midnight ones or something.... we'll work it out I'm sure! Enjoy your day of scrummy eating!

Aw thanks for the compliments kool - they mural was done by a friend of a friend for almost nothing and it does look fab - reminds me of an English countryside and DH is an occasional hot air balloon pilot hence those being in the mural too. How lovely re: your ivf meet-up - makes me want to do ours even more! I'll let you know when my flights are confirmed and we can go from there - how exciting!

xx

Wombat, your pics are so lovely! Gorgeous black and white ones, and I have total nursery envy, a beautiful wall hanging and what an amazing, huuuuge window! I didn't know you could do that with photos, clever! It sounds as though you're getting into a great routine there. I look forward to hearing harassed's news (wonder what on earth it could be?!!) - we're not fb friends as I think I arrived back on the thread when she was away for a bit. Exciting!

I'm in London too, so it's exciting to think that a meet could actually happen. I think I'd have previously thought that meeting up with people from the Internet is a bit but I made a couple of pals on a lovely ivf offshoot thread. Turns out that 3 of us live fairly close and we're all due in the next few months. We fairly recently met for tea and cake and it was lovely!

Yellow you thinking about your bag reminded me of me thinking about starting yoga ! Are you feeling ok about dp going to Oz a couple of weeks after the birth? It sounds as though you have a great support network which is great. I know London isn't the smallest of places but you never know we might not be too far away from each other (I'm South) and as I'm not working at the mo I'd be willing to help when working pals might not be available if you're desperate! (I say this on the basis of not having a clue!!!)

Morning all

I think this is my first ny day without a hangover! I had one glass of champagne but it didn't really agree with me so water for the rest of the night. Oh how things have changed.

Meet up in London in may would def suit me, I'm off work until sept and the little one will be a couple of months old by then so should be no problem. I am so looking forward to joining wombat and sparkly on the other side.

I watched all of the previous OBEM so I'll prob watch this one too, I think it was on channel 4 so you can prob get it 'on demand'

Bag not packed although I have thought about it does that count? Looks like it'll have to be a suitcase anyway with all the stuff we have to bring. Is that normal or weird? DP is taking 2 weeks off after the birth then going to Australia for 2 weeks. I have lined up friends to help, one is even flying in from Switz for 4 days.

Re expressing, I'm not an expert at all but what I've understood is that you pump in the am as that is when you have most milk and then at night if dh gives him a bottle you just sleep through as you produce less milk then anyway and your very clever body adjusts. Your body is attuned to what your baby needs when and adjusts supply accordingly. That's my theoretical understanding, I have no practical knowledge at all!

wellie lots of fertile vibes to you, hope you get your baby this year.

kool feel free to continue lurking/posting as it suits you. Not sure about experts but happy to pass on anything that might help.

Right I really am going to have an actual English breakfast now and later today we're going to a hotel for afternoon tea. What a yummy day!

Ooh ladies - I think I've just been rather clever! I've added you all to my mumsnet mates list and have posted a couple of pics here on mn from friday that a professional photographer friend took, but have done it so that only you can see them (I think!) - so I think I'm mates with most of you on fb, other than sparkly so you know what I look like, but we love these pics so wanted to share them with you - amazing how black and white can iron out the creases! xx

Room for one more in the group hug? It;s so true - you ladies are all fab and it's amazing how strongly connected I feel to you all. Your post also made me quite teary sparkly but in a lovely way.And yes, 'm over in early May and I would absolutely love to meet up - Birmingham or London way would suit but I can easily travel! (ha, she says, easily - my arse!) And kool - I very much doubt I'll be any sort of expert but I'm sure we'll all be cooing over your relative newborn and wishing we could go back to those early days! I don't mind at all that you don't always post - it's lovely to hear that you always read though.

Brilliant to hear from you sparkly and soooo glad to read that it's going so well with Gabes despite the birth not going as you had wished. VERY well done on the b/feeding too and weight gain after 5 days - most impressive. As worm says you;re clearly a natural. And oh yes to the big knickers with your boobs hanging out - I think this part of our lives should be renamed "the glamour never stops" - I didn't think I would ever look like I have at times, but how priorities change! Would love to see some photies when you get a chance, but only when you get a chance (that will be 2014 then! ) Your PILs sound fab bringing you round that buffet - make the most of every bit of help you can.

Sorry not to have been on for some time - have rotten cold which has knocked me for six. Fortunately DH has been off and has been an absolute treasure running around and generally waiting on me hand and foot. He's back to work tomorrow though -booo....

So, lots to catch up on! yellow - glad to hear the marathon sleep sessions are back on! Really not long for you now! And yes, be wary of the hormones post birth - they can catch you out. Although I have found (so far) that I was more hormotional (emotional and hormonal - a great term a friend here thought up) in the weeks pre Jack rather than post JAck, but everyone is different. How ready are you feeling?Bag packed? Have you got some help for afterwards? How long is DP off for?

Worm - you must be feeling all sorts of emotions right now. Are you dying for the 5th to arrive or a bit nervous of it? YOung Ones eh? That's showing my age too! Did you make it to midnight? We managed 11.45 and then sleep took over!

Breaking news - just seen an update on harassed on fb but will leave it to her to post the news.....

What channel is OBEM on? Would like to see if I can get a re-run through t'internet....

So update on us - doing well other than cold - Jack finally seems to be latching on every time although when he's feeling a bit lazy he slurps and smacks and is an incredibly noisy eater! The general pattern seems to be sleep midnight to 3, awake 3-4 then sleep 4-6 then it seems to be a visit to the "snack 'n' snooze cafe" where he's feeding for a short time then sleeping for a short time. Afternoons are anyone's guess and then evenings tend to be a bit grizzly unless we're with other people when he seems to turn on the charm and is an angel all night - .... I've started expressing in the mornings too and am slowly building up some supplies in the freezer for DH to take over some night feeds but we're not sure what to do about expressing when DH does do the feed - seems a bit pointless him doing the feed if I'm up expressing anyway.... any thoughts / tips most welcome! We gave him a bottle Christmas morning as an experiment which he seemed to take fine and we're going to try to top him up with a bottle tonight to see if he;s less grizzly - we think it may be that it's because I might not be producing as much milk in the evenings. FWIW I bought the Medela Swing electric pump and the Mothercare own brand microwave steriliser which is brilliant - so easy to use. I was really worried about the faff factor with sterilising, but once I'd read the instructions, it's a piece of cake and you can leave the bits and pieces in the pod without taking the lid off for up to 24 hours. I'm sure there is more to post but it's nearly 1pm here and I'm still in my pjs!

A very happy new year to all you brilliant ladies - here's to a fab 2012 and yes to a new baby for wellie too - still think of you lots xx

Well said worm

I'd love a meet up too - you'll all be experts by May and I'll still be a novice but I know you'll look after me! I know I've been a bit intermittent with you ladies, but while I've not always posted, I never stopped reading and think you're all ace

I'm in on the new year hugs xx

Ah you guys ...... Group hugs all round x x x x

I am currently fighting against sleep. The Telly is so crap too.

I'm definately up for meeting up, I think wombat said she was over in may ? We all will have popped by then too.
Will you guys be back at work then though ?

Sending warmest wishes to wellie that she gets a 2012 baby .

Evening ladies

worm thanks for the effort at getting us to be healthy but I'm sticking to my croissant and fried breakfast! Interesting the info re hormones after, I hadn't really thought of that. Also hope that harassed is having more luck today.

Hey kool I am almost 36 weeks, don't worry it's tough keeping track of everyone! I am sleeping well again, 10 hours last night with a 3 hour nap this afternoon but I am about ready for bed again!

sparkly what a lovely message, made me well right up. You are doing so well with Gabriel, a natural. I too would love to meet you guys, you've really been essential to me getting through some of my darker, difficult moments this last year. It's lovely that we're all getting/got there and can continue to support each other.

Lots of love and warm wishes and snuggles to all xx

Hey ladies
Just a quickie, Gabes is asleep - PIL bought round a lovely buffet lunch of cheeses, pates etc, enjoyed that and a small glass of red, and then took babes up for a feed - an hour later woke up with him contentedly asleep at the boob. Does this make me a relaxed expert or a bit of a slut?
Wanted to wish you all the happiest of new years, and sincerely hope we get to meet up at some point. Regardless of that, I wanted to thank you all for your kindness, support and humour over the past few months. I don't have many real life friends, I'm quite nice but just bad at making an effort I suppose, and I think you've gone some way to changing my thinking on that one.
Lots of love, and big hugs to our little ones already with us and on the way xxx

Sparkly, you sound amazing! What a wonderful, honest insight to your first few days. Wonderful that bf is going so well and what a great weight gain. How are the cats coping?

I hope harassed is getting on ok....

Anyone planning on watching the new series of One born every minute?! I'm going to give it a try....

worm, thanks, but I'm gonna have to pass on the muesli . How are you doing? I hope you and your family are ok xx

Yellow how's the uncomfortable sleeping going? Hope you're getting some quality hours in now. Remind me of your due date again?

Waves to wombat and mrsb

Happy new year to Wellie already!

Hey sparkly you certainly are an expert one handed typer!
Sorry your birth experience wasn't the hippy vibe you wanted, but the main thing is Gabriel is here now and you can waft around in your kaftan until your hearts content. Those hormones are a killer hey. They took me totally by surprise the first time. Days 5 and day 10 were the worst for me. Tears the whole day.
A weight gain on day 5 is hugely impressive for a BF baby. So well done you two! They have recently started weighing on day 3 here which I feel is ridiculous, and too much pressure on a new mum and BF baby. All it leads to is ladies getting into a panic and giving up BF. Used to always be day 5 here.

In harassed watch, unfortunately she wasn't able to be induced yesterday after spending a frustrating day hanging around the unit waiting for a labour room to free up. Isn't that awful, fingers crossed for today.

Don't know about you guys but I am so sick of eating crap so have laid out a fruit salad Muesli and yoghurt buffet for you all.

Happy new year! x

Hey sparkly great to hear from you. Sorry that your induction was traumatic but glad you are able to start moving on from it. I have heard some hospitals offer a kind of debrief to get closure, do you think that might be useful?

I think up and down is entirely normal at this stage, sounds like you are doing really well. Look forward to hearing more when you can. Lots of love

Typing one handed!
Suspect I won't get long, Gabriel was taken to the Trafford Centre today (not super impressive, only 10 mins away) as I wanted the baby bjorn rip-off bouncer for a family gathering on Sunday, he seemed to enjoy John Lewis but has since been fractious and not off the boob since (about 6 hours and counting!)
I think about you all often and always nearly get round to posting but either the day is going well and we are a contented family unit cuddled up, or it's a bit overwhelming and I'm wandering around in big knickers with my boobs hanging out, tears rolling down my face.
Got a busy weekend ahead, what with the inlaws also around (must show them where the kettle lives, endless cuppas are making themselves at the moment) - will be on early next week to post all about the boy and upload a couple of photies.
All in all we are doing well. The induction day was quite traumatic, I can't think about it without crying so not the hippy experience I was looking for, glad to get the one week anniversary out of the way and move on. Regardless, I have our lovely little boy, who despite his undignified entry into the world is generally a gentle and mild-mannered little soul. He looks like dh, and also Simon Pegg weirdly enough. BF is going too well, he latches on a treat and the lansinoh is working well, bit of smarting as he chomps down but apart from that no pain. The midwife weighed him at 5 days and he has put on weight and is past his birth weight, I was so proud of the chubby fella!
Sorry it's all about me, do need to catch up properly. Worm, very sorry about your grandad, hugs. Thoughts with Harassed too, sending happy good luck vibes.
Right, might have a little sparkly wine now!

ooh, didn't notice this was an older thread. I'll find the one for the more recently upduffed. Thanks for the good wishes and reassurance though!