Emmsys weebling onwards and upwards into summer.

barbie Hope you're OK, hun. You have a beating bean which is wonderful and a crap scanner which is crap. Let the bean grow just to spite her
And I've never had sore boobs either!!

4ever hoo blinking ray - I've half written a text to you today but then got distracted and didn't manage to finish it. Hurrah for your treatment on Friday.

Now at the risk of lecturing pregnant ladies, both, sit down, have a lovely cold non alcoholic drink and breathe slowly!! You have babies to grow and toddlers to chase, take any time you can!!

Lovely words from a kind lady there barbie Take heed.. I do feel it was a miracle and DH and I had both said well we shall just have to pray, and look what happens.. Dont know how people without faith deal with the crap that life sometimes throws!

X post barbie! Glad you are feeling a bit more optimistic about things hon, everything xd it shrinks away to nothing but lots of positive stories on that thread, and from blue. Your poor little Dolly talk about in the wars bless her bum.. Awful to see them hurt. Hope it looked worse than it actually is and tomorrow she has healed up ok.. Hope you both get a good nights sleep.. Oh, and portland was the hospital that gave us the treatment the first time round with Summer, so very disappointing they have messed us around this time when they were like our miracle giving saviours previously, still, despite everything I cant take away the fact that they diagnosed the probable cause of all my mc's, and gave the cure that resulted in Summer, so for that, I guess I can forgive them now (at least now im having the treatment after all elsewhere, probably not so forgiving if I wasnt!)

You see 4ever somebody is watching over you.... The lovely lady who took my blood yesterday said to me, believe in the lord, he will guide you and care for you. Why would the lord give you a baby only to take it away and replace it with an evil cancer? Now i am not at all religious but this women made me a little bit happier with her kind words.

I would still write the shittest of all letters to the hospital though, if only it stops then from treating another lady the same!

Aw bless you vjay! Tell you what, swap that for a non alcoholic - we are celebrating! Called portland to basically be told doesnt look like it can happen, sorry, nothing more they can do, obviously I was devastated, in tears, angry at the way it was dragged out, called DH who was going mad, planning our letter of complaint at how it was handled, when literally 10mins later the other clinic called to say they had been given a date for this friday! Cue me crying down the phone with relief to the woman, thanking her profusely and telling her I love her! What a miracle, and absolute huge relief, ive literally gained a spring in my step, I was soooo low! Of course even with the treatment I wont leave all my anxieties behind, but alot more than without.. Ive a scan next tuesday so if all is well, I may just allow myself to get the teensiest bit excited that we are going to have another baby!

You girls are the bestest

vjay thank you for that link, i did some of my own research last night and there are bigger cyst that people had to contend with and it all worked out ok. I think i just freaked as she was so bloody rude and the C word was mentioned I guess i just think that i cant be this lucky, to go on and have two babies while others are so desperately trying too. I have kind of detached myself from the pregnancy, I am just doing it all in chunks, blood results first and then sort out the cyst, then maybe i will dare to believe there is a little heartbeat inside me. If that makes sense?

4ever i would be writing an email and firing it off to every single email address on the 2 hospitals web page, somebody has to listen surely? I have you called your lovely doctors who helped with summer? Just call all the numbers of the maternity unit, the gyne ward etc etc, leave messages and don't give up on this lo, im sure we will both be ok

blue thank you, for you message, of course you are right. My cyst will shrink on the next scan, the baby will grow and i will just put this down to even more experience...

buddha how very shit that the nhs are giving you the run around i hope you are resting and enjoying this child free time. I bet the wee man is having a blast with the oldies Devon's sleep has been terrible but im putting it down to teething, i shall let you know when it all settles down.

Dolly has just smashed she mouth on the bed, never seen so much blood Dh is away so i ran across to our lovely neighbours who helped me clean her up and calm us both down. I think she has gone through the gum as it all swollen and not damaged her teeth. I keep thinking of mls little one. I will try to check them later as she sleeps.

Right i would love to write more but i am determined to be in bed and asleep by 8pm

Night all xxx

No news going out of my mind and climbing the walls cant believe iv just been left dangling and there literally could be a life at stake phone is permanently attached to my hand just in case.. Really trying to distract myself but cant think of anything else

Hi. Sneaking on quickly at work. 4 days to go...

Barbie so glad the baby is healthy and really have everything crossed that the cyst is ok. Was shouting at the screen when i read about that bloody sonographer though. So for you.

Monkey Glad you can go ahead with the IVF. Hope things are feeling a bit better for you.

4ever Hope you've got it all sorted out now.

Louey So pleased to hear that tongue tie is sorted. Gold star for persevering. You wow me with your multitasking.

Buddha totally get your mixed emotions but try to relax and enjoy the sleep.

Cupcake Hope that boy is toeing the line!

Must dash. Love to the lovely Blue and Vjay really wish I lived in your are and was on holiday now (with all my marking done of course!)

Back soon

barbie I am so so with your sonographer. How DARE she talk to you like that. I'm sorry for my language but she sounds like she is talking out of her arse. I'm really glad that vjay managed to find some links to show that cysts are quite common and blue's story should hopefully show that its not the end. I would second getting another scan sooner than 2 weeks for peace of mind. Hang onto the fact that there is a baby, with a heartbeat and that is the reason you are feeling so tired and sick.

monkey hope things are bit brighter today, have pm'd you with details from my sister.

buddha enjoy your chill time, sleep deprivation is just awful and you need some time to recharge. Don't worry about E, he will be spoiled rotten I'm sure.

cupcake poor J, it is very hot at the moment. Next year he will be diving into the paddling pool, lots of kids are wary of water to begin with but it wears off! We set up the paddling pool yesterday afternoon and put the slide in it so they were sliding down into the water. Great fun!

Right, ILs have gone (hooray). Have house to myself (with O obviously)...It was 29 degrees at 9am so its a tad hot and I have very few summer clothes that fit. In fact I have very few clothes that fit, maternity clothes are too big, normal clothes are too small. I've ordered the 30 day shred dvd and want to start as soon as I get past 6 weeks cos I feel like a flabby whale at the moment.

Breast feeding counsellor was ace. He did have a tongue tie and it was affecting his tongue movements and causing me pain. It also explained why he would randomly clamp down on my nipple with his gums - he did it to the bf counsellor on her finger and she explained it was caused by the tongue tie and was callled snapping. It was pure agony when he did it. She snipped the tie and I fed him straight afterwards with no pain! We are still using the nipple shields and she thought we would need to for a while but he is now feeding much better with them on and more importantly seems to be getting enough milk at most feeds so that we haven't got to top him up. Last night he threw me because he went down at 10.30 and didn't wake up for a feed until 3.45am. Not sure how much of that was down to the heat though. He is still jaundiced and we are going into hospital on Wednesday for a screen to check it hasn't got another cause. This week is a bit of a mess because I've got various appointments with the older two, including a school visit to Luke's school. Hopefully will be driving again by Wednesday which will make life a lot easier although getting 3 kids out of the house before 9am is going to be a challenge...

Vile vile woman how dare she be so awful Barbie I am so sorry that you had such a rollercoaster yesterday, fantastic news that you saw the heartbeat and bean is all fine, but terrible that they have identified a cyst. We will all be here to hold your hand whatever the outcome I really hope you can relax and think positive thoughts sweetie although I know it's so hard not to keep thinking negative things
Monkey Finally some good news So so pleased that you have a chance at IVF
4ever Any news your end?

Well Ewan went on holiday today with my parents, really mixed emotions as I've had the worst week ever with him at nights, I feel like the walking dead worse than when he was newborn to be honest so can't wait to chill this afternoon with some baby free time but I know I'm going to miss him terribly But I should be grateful for this break too

Gah!

She wasn't concerned and certainly didn't mention cancer.. I really hope it's a case of a crap sonographer with no bedside manner. Any cyst can be cancerous but 99% of them are not. Mine had shrunk and was t mentioned at any of my further 16 odd scans...

You have a bean with a heartbeat which is fantastic! Please try and stay positive xx

Apologies for hair trigger posting

Bloody pu

Posting from phone so apologies for being brief.

barbie like the other thread I had ovarian cyst at six week scan it was 10cm.. Midwife wasn't c

Back again...

barbie what a complete nightmare, and can't believe that stupid witch made you cry and was so nasty hope you're ok. That thread you found vjay is fab and so hopeful, none of them said it had affected the pregnancy or baby so fingers firmly crossed. Still a big worry for you barbie though I know (not helped by evil doc) not twins then!
Also mustn't forget massive YAY for baby being ok :):):)

buddha another gold star from me lovely having you back regularly.

sabs lovely to see you too and sorry things are so tough still. You know you don't even have to knock here though just grab a beanbag :)

monkey my lovely lovely lady, there are just no words. Your description of being so heavy you can hardly move just makes my heart ache for you. I can't imagine trying to go through the motions of each day with this weighing on you all the time. But SUCH wonderful news that you can still go ahead and we'll all be praying for you and rooting for you and your lovely family xxx

qa how lovely you'll have a surprise when baby is born :) I predict a boy :) and yes bowels are a bitch during and post-pregnancy eh! I ate loads of pears as my mw said they were the business! And prune juice is supposed to be the ultimate thing but I was always too scared to drink that incase it was TOO powerful

blue love your description of B being 'the man' what a dude.

louey lol! I clearly remember numerous occasions of just sitting down to a meal only to be interrupted by a newborn glad you're still going on with feeding hope you're ok with it all as I know the first few weeks with bfing are hard.

Well we have had a very unhappy ds today...he really doesn't cope well in the heat and has inherited mine and dh's sensitive skin bless him so always comes up in a heat rash :( he did have a little play in his new paddling pool but was quite wary of it

well found vjay :)

Oh god barbie been lurking for news, thank god bean is all good so hold onto that, your ovaries create a cyst when they release an egg, it can be perfectly normal, and can go on its own. Im holding out thats the case with you, try not too think the worse, the doc sounds like a right cold unfeeling bitch, talk about give with one hand and take away with the other. A 2nd opinion elsewhere sounds like a very good idea, cant you go sooner than 2wks? Try too focus on the positive that this bean is ok for now.. Big hugs x

ohhh barbie i dont know what to say either, but a huge big hug from me too. your doctor sounds like a total unsympathetic bitch, how very dare she be nasty to one of our emmsys, if we were there she would have got a right hook and more! hang on in there lovely lady, we'll help you get through whatever comes next :)

Hi girls,
I did send a text to you all, hence not rushing back on here but i see that only a few sent so I'm sorry if you didn't receive one.

Like louey posted, good and bad news. My head is a mess.

The doctor wasn't the nicest to be honest. Eastern european and not the kindest with her words.

Her first words were are your boobs sore, when i said no she went 'umm, not so good' Luckily i know from experience breast tenderness isnt a big thing to worry about.

She then scanned me and took forever to say anything, just kept making faces. I was crying so much begging her to tell me something. She told me to keep still as the crying was making my body shake.

Anyways she said there was a baby, we saw the screen and the dates were spot on. We also heard a heart beat. She said not to get too carried away as the heartbeat was here today but who knew about tomorrow

Anyway then she points the dildo cam the other way and says about the cyst. I asked if it could be cancerous and she shrugged and said who's knows.

I have had bloods taken, i have to wait for 4 days to see if they flag anything up.

Scan in 2 weeks (we are going elsewhere thankgod) i hope the cyst has got smaller by then and then it will be ok, if it grows we either have to monitor until 12 weeks and then hopefully have it removed with a small risk to baby. Or they can leave it. Or if its grown loads will will have to decide whether to carry on with pregnancy or to have surgery where i could lose my ovaries.

Total head f**k for 2 weeks while we wait.

monkey i wrote you a long email but i lost it, i have been thinking about you loads. Will try to find it and send it to you.

4ever please forgive my lack of conversations with you, my head has been in the toilet sand and i havent been able to concentrate on much at all. Fingers crossed you have the good news you have been waiting for x

Must go, I'm a weeping mess Will try to get on tomorrow with a better attitude xxx

Message from barbie

Good and bad news. Baby all good. Heartbeat good. But found massive cyst. 7.5cm. Have bloods taken to check for cancer markers. Have to have another scan in 2 weeks. Might have to have operation to remove cyst. Will have ti decide to carry on with pregnancy etc. Fingers crossed it doesnt come to that x

barbie hang in there my love, am hoping that the next scan shows the cyst has shrunk.

Must go, am refereeing 2 children with a hosepipe