Sixth Form Common Room part III - post mc ttc & pregnancy

We all seem to be having a hard time at the moment don't we? :( Hopefully a change in fortunes is around the corner

Battery how unbelievably awful :( . I hope that it was just the receptionist not knowing what she was talking about and that the consultant has more helpful information. You really deserve to get some answers, treatment and a healthy pregnancy.

Dachs :) good on you for confronting something that makes you nervous, even if it is a little thing to most people it is a big thing for you and you did it! :)

Digital nausea on the tube sounds horrendous. Do the side effects pass after a few days or are you stuck with them for the foreseeable future? Great advice from mummya again I see!

Waves to yrmotb, mouse, and everyone else x

Off to update the list, on proper day 2 now.

Dach thats great I really hope I will be doing something similar soon. I know what you mean about feeling a "big brave proper person" I feel that getting my license will make me feel the same - though I know I will be just as scared as driving as you are!

Am v chuffed with myself today. Instead of sitting at home being miserable about being stuck inside doing nothing and brooding about the lack of follicles and almost certain doomed to failure IVf cycle, I drove into town (Reading) and went shopping. This may not seem like a monumental thing to do, but I am a v nervous driver and have not driven into town alone and parked and gone shopping for about 4 years, and last time I was so traumatised I haven't done it since. Until today. And it was remarkably untraumatic!

Although now I'm home I'm brooding about the ivf again, but at least I managed to get out for a bit.

I know it's pathetic but I thought I'd share anyway, as going into town on my own and spontaneously makes me feel like a big brave proper person rather than a pathetic loser. :)

digi Yes, you are right. Because lining changes all through the cycle, you can only really get a diagnosis of "thin" lining when you are sure that you are at the stage very near ovulation. So what you really discovered is that start of your cycle was not progressing quickly (something you already knew) because the lining hadnt built up and follies hadnt grown - they should be growing together (This would be how someone with a clockwork cycle would look on day 2) but this doesnt indicate any problem with the lining itself, i.e. damage preventing it from growing to its max (from adhesions, cysts, polyps or other things) To give you an idea of what "thin" lining really is, before surgery mine measured 2mm with follicles of 18mm (just about to hatch) and then in a couple of days I went back and they saw the corpus luteum (post ov) and lining was still only 2mm. This means that the absolute maximum it had grown was only 2mm at the very height of the cycle.(also charting confirmed I was definately at ov time) Whereas in your case, you dont know when the maximum height was, it could have happened much later, as you often have long cycles. If the follies and lining are "matching" (both small) then this would indicate a hormonal problem preventing the cycle from ramping up as it should rather than a structural problems preventing the lining from growing as it should. IMHO!

dachs ouch on the long needle! Hope all 6 follies hatch top class eggs for you.

mummya I had no follicles growing when I measured 5.5mm. So hopefully that means it would have grown along with my follicles?

Results from St Mary's are normal. Nothing to do now but get a bfp and go back for more tests and scans.

Feeling a bit queasy from restarting the metformin. Not good on a hot stinky tube ride...

Thanks izzy

Sorry for incompetence battery I hope they manage to get you better information.

mummy yay for third trimester! And good luck with docs. Glad you and DS are recovering

digi yep, they sedate you and then stick long needles up through your uterus to collect the eggs. It's not pleasant, but the sedation takes the edge off it!

yrmotb last time there was a growth spurt at the end, but the follicles were already developing, they were just small. This time there are only 6 there that might develop further, so def less than last time.

mouse have you considered poasing on an hpt if you carry on getting + opk? You can get positive opk if you are pg

Just popping in very quickly before work to give a big (((hug))) to dachs and battery. dachs I'm still crossing everything, remember you only need one good one. battery that's really hard, I hope you manage to find someone with sone more answers (and your test results) soon. So difficult to know so much about your baby and yet so little about what went wrong

I will do a proper catch up tomorrow but had to reply to battery today. I'm so sorry that you now have to deal with this botch up of results on top of everything else. . So very sad for you to find out so much, and in such a crap way over the phone. I just want to give you a big hug

Hi ladies,

sounds like everyone is struggling with one thing or the other at the moment, hopefully that means that the tide will change soon and we will get a rush of good news.

Dach I cant imagine how stressful IVF must be, there are so many measurements and factors to worry about, I know you know it only takes one good follie/egg, but I can totally understand how your mood must be linked to every new bit of information on progress. I am keeping everything crossed the end results is good, thats what really counts.

battery bloody receptionists. They seem to be keepers of information that is far too sensitive for their level of training. Sorry that you suffered by the botched info, hopes the info is not lost for good.

sorry for the limited catch up (again!) DS and I have just recovered from colds, and he went back to nursery today giving me a couple of hours off - bliss!

Not much news from me, except that FF told me I have just started my third trimester and its got me terrified that I havent yet sorted out a place to give birth. I have 2 appointments with new doctors on 12th Aug and 12th of Sep and another recommendation to follow up. I am just hoping that one of them will make me feel reassured and helps me work out a plan. I had thought that I was happy with the decision to have a CS, but have started back tracking again, and dont know what I want!

P.S. Digi re: my pet subject Thin Lining , at the time you measured 5.5mm was it confirmed that they could see large pre-ovulatory follicles (above 11mm?) ONLY if you see this can you be sure you really were at the top of your cycle and looking at your lining at its thickest. Otherwise you may still have been a few days away from ov and not looking at "thin" lining but just lining that hasnt grown to its max potential yet.

Hello. thank you mouse and digi for your replies.

digi It was only the consultants secretary that told me the results, so I guess I should wait for my appointment with the consultant before thinking too much, but I think it is right.

Hope both your cycles sort themselves out - wierd how you are mirroring each other!

That is so spooky digi! You have always been my twin though! xx

x posts mouse bloody hell, we do like to synchronise weird cycles don't we?

Oh battery I remember that feeling of sadness when I got my karyotyping results . Is it absolutely proven that your body rejected a healthy pregnancy or could it be that they only test for the most common genetic problems? Lots of hugs for you. I'm sure it would be worth discussing your dose of heparin with Mr S - but he will test you for NK Cells and antibodies so it may be that heparin combined with steroids will be the treatment for you.

dachs glad to hear there's been some growth in only a couple of days. How do they collect the eggs? Do they go in through your uterus and up your tubes? I've always wondered.

Lots of cramping last night. Which I seem to recall getting the same time last cycle (and it didn't mean anything). But strangely my temp has been rather low for it's post-ov range. Normally I'm in the 36.7 territory by now, but it's not gone beyond 36.64 and today it was 36.51 which is just on the cusp of my cover line. Not sure what to think. Wondering if the weird herbal potion I took pre-ov has screwed with my luteal phase. Or if taking a temporary break from Metformin has messed it up (was so convinced the metformin made things worse that I stopped taking it for about a week). I've also stopped taking aspirin, which I was worried would thin my lining before implantation (and it was thin on my last scan 5.5mm on CD19).

Oh battery I'm so sorry, what a total cock up. I'm furious for you. Is there any chance she just didn't have all the information to hand and they may 'locate' the other results?

digi I would love to coordinate BFPs - it's been long enough!

I have a slight problem in that after 5 days of high temps at the correct time for ov (and after a + opk) temps have been back at the coverline for the last 2 days and I've just had another +opk. WTF?!!! Will throw DH a pretend SFF just incase but seriously, WTF??!!

Hmmm... might go and POAS just to complete the insanity....

waves to dachs tina yrmotb jolls bbb aandr lady tigger and mummya

RANT ALERT:

I called my consultant today to see what was happening from the tests from the baby when I had my ERPC as it has been 6 weeks and I have heard nothing. His secretary is very helpful, and she told me the karyotyping is back from the baby and it showed that the baby was female :( and had no chromosomal issues. I then asked if the histology was back as my consultant wanted to know if I was on the correct dose of heparin, or if there were clots in the placenta, we would need to up the dose the next time. The hospital that the samples usually go to have no record of them, so either no samples were sent or they have got lost. Brilliant, so now I don?t know if clotting was a factor or not. I am waiting for the secretary to call me back after she has spoken to my consultant to see what is the next step. I am so cross and upset, my body has rejected a perfectly healthy pregnancy, and not I might not ever find out why, because of some incompetent idiot. Also had my bloods done today and my HCG is 7. Enough already. Some resemblance of normality would be appreciated if that is not too much trouble.

Rant over.

Sorry.

Hello all.

Hope you're all well and good. Been doing some degree work and generally trying to buckle down as the end of this module is in sight. I am in some pain from a pilates session that involved quite a few press ups- I think the extra weight makes them even harder!

dachs sorry to hear that the follies aren't playing nicely. It is only one good one you need, but know you were thinking about freezing some. I've got my fingers crossed that they will speed up. Didn't they do something similar last time, in that they weren't growing very well and then had a kind of growth spurt at the end? Best of luck to you though.

ladybee so sorry you are feeling down.It is totally incessant at times, and you have had so much on your plate recently.

ladybee, mouse, tina If this all works out then DS will be 5 years and 3 months old before he has a brother or sister. It's something I feel guilty about regularly as he is a lovely friendly child who would have loved a constant companion. However, I also feel that he will make an excellent protector (of little one) and helper (to me). Anyway, there's not too much I can do about it now. There is a 5 year age gap between me and my sister, and whilst it meant we were very separate as children, since I left home the relationship has got much better, and the gap matters very little.

battery I had to wait 8 weeks for my period after ERPC. I was so fricking frustrated. I really feel your pain xx

waves to everyone else, I can't scroll back or remember much else, but hope all are well.

Hello all. Still waiting for true af to kick in, I think this'll be a long one! Got all the bumf from the clinic this morning, yikes there's a lot to read/fill in!

3 jabs a day sounds like torture dachs, I really hope that the new drug works and it'll all be worth it x

Good luck for tomorrow digi x

Still no af tomboy and battery? how frustrating!

So the follies are getting bigger, but only 6 are developing, which is half as many as the previous two times

digi I'm on Gonal-F as the main drug, they've added in Menopur as an extra one, Orgalutron to stop me from ovulating before I take the trigger shot and Ovitrelle as the trigger shot. So I now need to inject three different drugs every night and it's not fun! Good luck with your follow up on Tuesday

aandr I'm on the same drug as I was last time, but instead of increasing the dose of that one they have included a different drug instead in the hopes that it will start working more quickly. Good luck on the 2ww! :)

tigger Triplets would be fun! :) But my obstetrician thinks it would be safer to just put one back, so I only need one decent one. I'd like some to freeze though, as we can't keep doing full IVF - it's too expensive.

izzy Thanks for keeping everything crossed :)

Waves at battery glad you had a relaxing holiday. Boo to no ov or af though. Mr S may scan you to check on how it's all looking - whether you are about to ov or whether there's still a clot or two to come away. Or you could ask if he doesn't offer (it will cost a lot though). Hopefully this is just your body's way of hanging onto an egg until you need it.

I have my follow up at St Mary's on Tuesday.

Then testing next Saturday.

Then if bfn I'm picking up drugs next cycle's stimulated ovulation.

dachs how frustrating for you. I fear I'll be typing exactly the same post when my turn comes. My experience with drugs that are supposed to help make me ovulate has been depressingly negative so far so I'm not sure how my body will react to the Letrozole. What drug are you on?

ladybee sorry to hear you've been so down. Has af turned up yet? My lowest points emotionally are definitely between bfn and waiting for af. It's all so bloody familiar isn't it? I'm actually having more and more thoughts about how much I enjoy it just being the three of us. But I don't know how to stop. I'm not sure what else I would focus on. I'm worried I would focus too much on ds and turn into an over bearing mother who ends up pushing her son away.

Tina sorry af turned up for you too. But yay for sorting out an appointment - it does take the edge of 'helplessness' off.

mouse eek, I think we're on the 2ww together!! Fingers crossed we finally get to synchronise our bfps!

So tomorrow is August. And it will officially be two years of ttc, pg & mc. If my first pg after ds had worked out I'd have a 1 year old and a nearly 3 year old.

Hello :)

There is such a lot going on!

dachs I am sorry that your scan wasn't positive, I really hope the new drug kicks you into action iyswim.
AandR I know how you feel when people who don't even want to be pregnant fall so easily. I am constantly hearing stories of people who are devestated to be pg and not even trying. Sigh.
lady Sorry you are so down too. There seems to be a lot of it on this thread., Even though we count our blessings all the time, there is still an extra little blessing missing for a lot of us yet xxx
mouse so ...2WW eh? Good oh... I need someting to focus on, please keep us updated!
tina sorry for Af showing up too . boo hiss.
tomboy my WTF twin. Seriously, WTF is going on with me and you. I am 6 weeks post ERPC and no AF, no sign of OV either. I am not temping yet so have no idea where I am at. For christ sake, get a bloody move on body. I feel your pain lovie xx

Hello to izzy MA tigger freezing and collie and the hundreds I have missed xx looking for bbb jols and babe

Am back from a lovely holiday. The weather was gorgeous, and we did lots of eating,drinking and just relaxing. I was hoping to come home from holiday to find a letter from my consultant with some results or just ... something. But no. So I am off to see DR S in London on wednesday, to see what he has got to say. I just wish my body would get back to normal.

My friend who is 2 weeks ahead of where I should be text me last week on my holiday to say she is having a boy. Great.Thanks for that whilst I am on holiday.

Also I went in to a health shop to enquire about agnus cactus and spoke to the lady who it turns out is having fertility treatment after trying for ages to concieve. She has just had her first lot of IVF and is testing tomorrow. I wondered if she was a fellow MNer as she had that glint in her eye :) We both talked about our crap bodies until I had to leave as we were both filling up! Nice lady. And no I didn't get any agnus cactus either.

dachs sorry the scan wasn't as positive as we were all hoping, but remember the higher dose worked last time - my dsis was the same, they told her at first scan it looked like she hadn't even taken any drugs, then upped the dosage and her follicles suddenly kicked into life in a massive way! Hopefully it's the same for you this time, keeping everything crossed x

ladybee Tina mouse aandr and anyone else watching the milestones go by and feeling low - big ((hugs)) to you, it is really hard . I think we all have an idea in our heads of the family we start out wanting - number of children, age gaps etc - and it's so hard getting your head around the fact that we have so little control over how things work out. I do believe we will all get our babies one day, and I hope for all of you it's soon, but I completely understand the at knowing when, or if, it will happen and grieving for that family we planned and hoped for but hasn't arrived as we wanted. I remember when dd was born (ds was nearly 3) saying to dh that I would love a dc3 but really wanted them close together, say about 18 months/ 2 years apart. She is 5 on Wednesday. I know I'm incredibly lucky to be pg now, and I can now see the advantages of having a bigger age gap, but it's not what we planned and it's taken a while to readjust my thinking. Fx for all of you that you get there soon xx

Dachs - sending you lots of growing thoughts. I hope one or two of them come through (I'm not sure how you feel about triplets so I'm not putting three down...)

tomboy sorry AF still hasn't turned up.

re: the follies - last time it took a few days for them to get going and they had to increase the drug dose. I just need really high doses of the hormones to get things going. I'm just a bit depressed this time because I was hoping after all the weight I've lost I wouldn't need so much to get things going, and I want things to start happening quickly to make sure I've got plenty of time to complete the cycle before i start back at work. Plus I was hoping I'd produce more eggs this time, and it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

Oh Dachs that sucks Is this a different drug to last time? Fx the new drug kicks things into action.

LadyB I so hear what you are saying - I rode home on Thursday in floods of tears and am really feeling beaten down by how this just isn't sorting itself out for us - but I think I am with tigger - I have a feeling this for me is happening for a reason - my dh has been extremely stressed and if I had had any of the pgs work out - I wouldn't have been able to go back to work to take the financial strain off his shoulders and I wouldn't have been able to help him emotionally as I would have a 6 month old and been sleep deprived and extremely irrational!! I think this bean is waiting for us to get ourselves sorted out so they can be born in our new house! Don't underestimate how much of what you are feeling is part of your overall move - it is such a big thing. How horrible to have two robberies - makes you feel so vulnerable As one of my wonderful Aunts says ' You are storing up a mighty lot of good karma there'

Seem to have lost my ability to look back at other posts so I am sending good karma to all of us - I still have my fx for you tina ...

On the 2ww here - have a feeling we would get a 'poor' result for this month! Oh well I am sure I will have my hopes far too high in any case!