Freak out room for those newly updiffed after mc - Part VI

Dachs Words are difficult to find so I will just say that I am thinking of you and your DH. xxx

dachs I've written and re-written and actually I can't find the right words...

You and yours are in my thoughts.

God Bless Felicia and Alexander

Dachs you and your family are always in my thoughts. I can only echo the words of nicks and kat and wish you and mrdachs all the luck and love I have as you work through the next few days, weeks and months. I can't seem to find the right thing to say either, but know that you are in my prayers. x

Dachs your strength has inspired me xx

I really hope you find the strength and courage to cope with and come to terms with your losses x You have been constantly in my thoughts for days..and will continue to be for a good while yet.

I hope the naming ceremony and the cremation allow you to grieve for your babies and to help you move on.

Words fail me...... just nothing i type seems right

Wishing you everything you need for you both to get through this xxx

dachs I have posted to you on the grads thread, lovely, but just wanted to pop in and send you a (((hug))) here too. You, DH, Alexander and Felicia are in my thoughts xx

Dachs i am so very sorry to hear such bad news. I'm sure you both mustbe completely heartbroken. I was just lurking on here to seehow you were all getting on but didn't want to not leave a message. I haven't read the whole thread, but however it happened it must have been awful for you. I hope you both have whatever support you need to make it through the days and weeks ahead.

Going on holiday sounds like a great plan. It will give you the chance to spend time together and begin the healing process. I can partially understand your anxieties about giving it another try, although I've not had either ivf or later losses, so that must make it an even harder decision. Only you will know when you need to call it a day, but perhaps counselling would be helpful if you feel you aren't ready to stop yet.

I hope your trip away is just what you need.
Wishing you a speedy physical recovery and thinking of you and mrdachs and your beautiful twins.

Thank you for posting dachs and letting us know how you're getting on. You, DH, Alexander and Felicia have been so much in my thoughts. Ditto to hairy's post that we are very much here to support however we may be able. I hope that you've had good care at the hospital and in RL. Still thinking of you lots.

Lovely to hear from you dachs youve been constantly in my thoughts. I'm sure none of us can know how you are feeling but we are all here for you to support you in whatever way we can.

Hello all. Thanks for all the good wishes. I may not be posting but I am lurking. Your support is appreciated! Heading home from the hospital tomorrow. No idea how I'm going to cope, but I'll have to try.

DH and I are going to go away for a little holiday together to try to work through some stuff, so I'm trying to focus on planning that at the moment.

Giving birth to babies I knew wouldn't make it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Definitely harder than my earlier loss. We had a naming ceremony for them yesterday and they are being cremated some time over the next few days. they were beautiful babies. Alexander looked just like his daddy and Felicia was going to be a very pretty little girl.

The doc thinks we should give ivf another go but right now I have no idea whether I'm ever going to be able to find the emotional strength to try again. I may have to face the fact I'll never have one.

I have everything crossed for all of you, and I'm looking forward to hearing all about all your babies.

I told my boss over the phone (was working from home that day and had to in order to give them enough notice to sort out Dubai trip) and I then sent an email to 9-10 of the people I work with directly. I then left it to the magic grapevine to do the rest of the work for me! In fact, I only told my neighbours face to face so I also ducked out of most of the embarrassment. It does feel good to have the cat out of the bag now - it feels more real.

BTW - I am seriously body conscious and am dreading comments from well-meaning colleagues / friends like "wow, you're showing early" etc. (most of them come from other cultures / countries and often are therefore more "direct" / less tactile than us Brits).

Silver that's wonderful news .

Collie glad dh has told work..... come on, be brave! It'll make things easier for you, honestly.

Lara god if a rice cake is a binge then I'm in big trouble!!

Thanks for the reassurance re: the ms. I do know these things, they just don't seem "right" when it's for myself iykwim!

Urrgh I hate the whole bump touching thing.....

Totally relate to you Collie - I am sooo embarrassed when people make jokes. Our office is probs 70% male and most of my sales guys are young, brash and make comments that would make most people blush. Since I announced my pregnancy they have been making all sorts of jokes and I am even embarrassed to go to the water machine as my pregnancy is bound to be a conversation starter . Then earlier this morning, my well-meaning colleague said "wow, you really are eating for two" as I ate a rice-cake. A RICE-CAKE? Hardly what pg binges are made of!

I am also conscious when I walk past people's desks that they're looking at my stomach thinking "is she, isn't she" as at this stage, while the bump is def there and pg-shaped, they might just think I've been eating too many pies.

Have decided that I will smack anyone that tries to touch my bump though... two friends already tried this week. Why is pg a licence to fondle?

I'd urge you to tell work as soon as you're comfortable and then you can wear lots of uber comfy things to show off your bump.

silver thats wonderful neyws i hope you will be able to relax soon and enjoy your pregnancy as scary as it is,
my appointment with the midwife has been changed to tomorrow afternoon but if i dont have it by her calculation i will be 13 weks by the time i can see her as shes off on holiday for a few weeks,
has anyone got any tips for long car journeys with nausia and a 2 year old dd? we are off to a wedding thursday and its a 4-5 hour drive then a ferry and another hour drive, i can safely say im not looking forward to it at all, i hope everyone is having a good day x

Silver - great news on the scan :)

starkadder - You'd be surprised. My argument for not getting one was that I'd be using it every day and go mental if I couldn't find it, but surprisingly I haven't. It has been really easy to find and I only allow myself one or two goes per week. One time I couldn't find it and I didn't panic eventhough I thought I would. So I decided not to get one but then I saw one on ebay going cheap, second hand and I couldn't resist! so I paid about £8 for the angelsounds one.

Still thinking of Dachs and DH xx

coconuts & others who've mentioned dopplers - yes?I hover over the button on ebay quite regularly but given that my tactic with getting through this is denial (!) I am not sure how I'd cope with a doppler?I know I'd get obsessed with it and if I couldn't find a heartbeat I'd go completely crazy. So I don't dare to get one.

Collie - delighted your DH has come round! It is amazing how different things feel for me after announcing it to the world last week. It is amazing how obsessed I was with the whole subject of miscarrying, something that 90% of the outside world seems oblivious to. At work, colleagues are making jokes about me being pg and soon being with child (in a nice way, not a malicious way) but I still feel like a fraud cos I can't imagine the day when Baby will actually be here. They just talk about my pregnancy like it's so normal whereas for me, mentalling is an obsession.

Collie - are you sure your pains aren't due to your trousers being too tight? Yesterday I thought I had a UTI as I kept feeling pressure on my tum, pain, needed to wee but only a little came out. I realise today that it was just my skirt and tights being too tight . Today I discovered I had two lovely loose, but stylish stretchy black dresses (one of which I am wearing) and combined with low rising knickers (that don't put pressure on my tum), I am 100% comfy and am in no discomfort.

Totally relate too to what you were saying re. friends. I am petrified something will happen and everyone around me with have their babies and I will be back at square one. Plus, after seeing scan, I feel so attached to this little bean.

Well done on finding Pup! Would love a doppler but am too scared. I want to invest in a Dream Genii pillow though as sleep is hell at the mo.

Great news, Silver - hope everything progresses smoothly....

Silver am massively pleased for you - that's fabulous news. Hope the little 'uns go from strength to strength :)

Lara yep - that is exactly how I felt around that time - slightly fraudulent! You wait. Before you know it you will be the size of a small cottage.

Hi all - had scan this morning and both hearts still beating away and fluid levels look normal too, massive relief but dont think I am going to be able to relax at all for the rest of this pregnancy.

Hairy and coconuts - totally with you on not buying anything, silly but feel like I would be jinxing things.

Dachs - hope you are ok.

Yes it is normal Harassed - your placenta takes over about now which is why you suddenly start to feel human again!

I wore my first outfit today that actually makes me look pregnant (stretchy black dress). Looking forward to when the podge will be replaced by a hard bump.

Did anyone else feel decidedly "inbetween" at this stage? Many of my first trimester feelings have gone but I don't look or feel "properly" pregnant now. And of course it's way too early for kicks etc. Anyone else at about 13 - 14 weeks felt or feeling like me?

A me, me, me freak out post......

I'm 9+1, and my all day sickness seems loads better. I thought I'd be happy when this happened as I've been so rough.... but it's freaking me out . Is it normal???