Freak out room for those newly updiffed after mc - Part V

ps - happy to go on a school trip to MamaP's too with you all - would be fun. Bet we don't discuss half our gross symptoms face to face!

Morning Ladies and I hope we all calm as the day progresses. We need to remember the mantra - symptoms come and go!

Had a freak out this AM. Was late for work. Spent 20 mins standing in my knickers in front of my wardrobe freaking out cos nothing fits.

Also freaking out cos scan is in a week's time and I'm terrified.

Also freaking out cos I'm not, erm, belching that much this AM.

Also freaking out after hearing about Kelly Brook... V sad. But surely, leaving Mahiki and various other clubs at 2am, jetsetting between LA and London etc can't be good for a growing bean... anyone else have a mini freak out after hearing about her loss?

Yum - wotsits.... just made an emergency stop at M&S for orange juice.

Good luck to any scanners today?

ps - Tommy's walk in is supposed to be very good - one of the lovely ladies on this group went there a few weeks ago if I recall.

Morning all. Sorry you're having a tough time hadrian. I agree with the others that a private scan might be the way to go-my EPU actually told me to say I was bleeding next time I needed a scan but I hate the hassle/stress involved with fibbing so I had a private one last preg.

It's no consolation but I've felt the same since Sunday and my loss of symptoms, that's even after a good scan on Friday. It's soo torturous isn't it. I've woke in the middle night the last three nights, dreaming that it's all gone at the next scan. It's the boobs bit that worries me as that went before with my MMC and then I convince myself that I can't feel the pg at all like last time and it's gone. During the day I can be a bit more rational and listen to the ladies on here, but in the middle of the night I'm completely irrational.

Anyway, hope you get the scan booked in and feel a liitle calmer as a result x

Thanks for the advice everyone. I went to UCH last time and don't think I can face going to that EPU again - all I remember is sitting in those bloody uncomfortable seats facing the wall and waiting for hours on end for someone to see me. Actually maybe it wasn't that bad, I'm just feeling a bit negative about everything right now

I like the sound of the Fetal Medicine Centre, thanks for the tip pink. I think I'll see if I can make an appointment there for next week when I should be more than 7 weeks. I know it's a lot of money but your're right, it's about peace of mind.

Oh god it's all so agonising!

hadrian sorry you're having a crap time. I agree with the others - lie and get yourself a scan or go to a walk-in. Hope it all works out for you. Privately there are loads of London places that do it - FMC is one of the best but there is also the London Ultrasound Centre who will do early scans.

UCH and I think Guys and Tommys have walk in EPU (I went to UCH with the mc).

hadrian I would lie too. It's all for peace of mind. My symptoms are honestly coming and going a lot, but am a week behind you. If it makes you feel better, I'd just fib to the epu a bit. Hugs x

hadrian sorry you're having a rubbish time. Thing is, once the idea it's all gone wrong gets in your head it just keeps going round and round and there's nothing you can do about it until you see some evidence that everything's ok (if you're anything like me). You could try the EPU like velvet says but in my area you have to go through a GP and even then they make you wait quite a few days. If you're in London, IIRC there's a walk-in EPU somewhere central, sorry I can't remember which hospital but hopefully someone who can remember will be along soon. Otherwise if you wanted to go private the Fetal Medicine Centre were fab for my 12 week scan and I know they do early pregnancy scans too. xx

hadrian sorry you are worrying. My epu wont scan without a midwife referral but you could always lie and say you are bleeding a bit. At least it will put your mind at ease.

Evening all and apologies in advance for the me me me post. I'm feeling depressed and scared today

For the last couple of days I've been feeling a lot less pg and today I feel nothing at all - no tiredness, no nausea and my boobs aren't sore in the slightest. I don't feel any different to normal and I wouldn't have the faintest clue I was pg if I hadn't had a BFP.

I should be 6+4 today and this is around the time it all went wrong before. I KNOW symptoms come and go and I've been telling myself that but today I have the same feeling in my bones that I had last time - that something is wrong. I know it's irrational but I've been crying my eyes out because I can see it all unfolding in exactly the same way .

What should I do? I haven't had any bleeding yet but then last time I only started to bleed about a week after the symptoms stopped. I don't think my EPU will give me a scan unless I'm bleeding.

Should I call the EPU and see if I can persuade them to scan me? Maybe I should go private - pink where do you go in London?

Or should I just sit it out and pray? Maybe it's better not to know and to deal with it if and when it happens...

Aaagh sorry for the mentalling, I just don't know what to do with myself

velvet I'm keen! I'm trying to get there with my family too but would love to meet you all so happy to go twice!

Minnie ignore what people at work think-they have no clue what being pg after MC feels like. I haven't DTD since BFP either, and to be honest I can't see myself psyching myself up for it until at least 28 weeks..... I've read that the cells of your cervix change when pg so there's a chance you'll bleed-not that it sets off a MC but I could really do without the stress of bleeding....

Someone on the train is eating wotsits, they smell AMAZING!!!

Ok, this will be my last post on the topic then I'll just inbox the people who can make it;

I'm going to visit mamaps wine bar/restaurant at some point in the next couple of months. Let me know if you want to come and I'll get organising.

I know I've sent this before but I cant remember who replied!

harrassed I'm with you on the constant eating! I just wish I fancied healthy stuff-I'm loving hula hoops and french fries at the moment. Also had a bizarre need for spaghetti hoops in the supermarket earlier-haven't eatn't them since I was a student! Those lemonade lollies were gorgeous though and the cider ones!

lara I see I'm not the only one googling weird symptoms. Bit worrying considering dp's mate sometimes comes round to borrow our computer. Can't imagine what he'd think to 'brown cm in week 7 of pregnancy' when it pops up on the history!

jiggle sorry about the stress with dh. All this ttc and mc stuff is so stressful. I'm worrying that since I got my bfp I haven't even thought about doing the deed. Worried it'll set off another mc which I know is probably irrational. Dp pretty good about it at the moment but I can't see it lasting much longer!

Thanks for all the positive messages about getting a scan- it's made my mind up and I'll aim for one on Wed I think. Dp thinks yes though a few people at work think we're mad (not a mc between em I may add!). Bleeding not too bad just brown now. Also realised yesterday would have been the first day of an af so maybe that's just it. Fx

Hi all

Lara yep weekly. I had an IVF clinic in London monitor the pregnancy (they were investigating the MC) and they did weekly scans to make sure all was well. Weekly blood tests too to see if needed to adjust medication. They were fab and helped a lot with the mentalling but the flip side is that they stop regular scanning at 12 weeks so was a long wait for the next scan!! Sounds like you've had a v boring day!! Did you puke Kiev??? That sounds unpleasant-I puked twiglets including through my nose last week-v v nasty!!! :)

Sorry v bad memory and on phone so can't scroll! On drinks, im addicted to apple juice mixed 50/50 with water.

jiggle sorry you're having probs with DH. how about trying couples counselling? I think hormones make you feel weird about relationship stuff too which doesn't help.

Minnie and battery how are you doing today?

Anyone who's suffering with sciatica or spd......get yourselves to a chiropractor!! Really worth the money.

I've just eaten a big spoonful of pickle. Straight from the jar. I couldn't help it.

Where can I buy lemonade lollies like the icecream man sells?? Please........

I think the cravings have kicked in .

Doo pillow between the knees when you're sleeping to keep your hips aligned. Helps my pg-induced sciatica no end!

Doo - to reiterate what I try and tell myself on a daily basis... symptoms come and go....!

Hi there
Congrats to hairy on the bfp. Hope things have calmed down a bit for minnie and battery.

I felt sooo sick and grotty on Friday and Sat I thought I'd never feel better. I couldn't really stomach any food (after eating constantly in the first few weeks food is no longer my sickness cure). DH did complain about my moaning, but only in a very gentle way. Then Sunday, pow - only mild nausea (can cope with that!) and way less sore boobs - cue constant worry that it's all over again. Arrrghh, this really is a crazy rollercoaster of a ride isn't it. Can't help wishing months of my life away right now and then feeling very bad as that means wishing away most of Summer and doesn't feel very balanced or mentally stable at all!

Oh, I've also managed to get some very strange sharp pain deep in my buttock cheek that only seems to hurt when I've been sat or laid down. It keeps me awake at night as it really hurts when I turn over (which I do a lot). Looks like it might be sciatica or something (from middle of the night googling!).

Thanks lara, sound advice. I think you are partly right and I did explain that after a day with DS when I am pg I have no energy left to give much time or attention to him. One friend in RL knows and she is lovely but feel I have burdened her with too many moans about DH in the past!

Jiggle - just got your message... (you posted the same time as me). Sending you a big hug... Maybe your DH is extra stressed as the realisation of the pg kicks in. My DH had a weird mood this weekend when he panicked that my insatiable tiredness might be permanent and therefore signify the end of our relationship as he knows it. He is also extremely worried about money even though we have financially planned for bean as best as we can. Maybe your DH just needs time and reassurance. I think that men can sometimes hide from the reality of pg and it often doesn't kick in until long after it has for the rest of us.

I admit too I need to make more of an effort but when you're tired, feel like crp and are scared shtless every time you do a wee that you'll have a mc, it's easier said than done. I'd say relax, give it time and keep talking. And maybe it would help to confide in someone in RL...?

Lemon juice might work - so long as it's not too strong. As an occasional tipple, sprite is quite refreshing. But I can't have the Sicilian lemonade that Pizza Express and Carluccios serve.

You wear a proper sanitary towel all the time? I wear pantyliners and, like you, won't go anywhere without them. If I am going somewhere new, I also take with me the number of the local EPU . Paranoid in these quarters? Nooooo!

Hi I am here too - feeling rubbish and rather tired, but with a DS who sadly no longer has a day sleep.

Had a bit of a rubbish weekend. DH and I have not been getting on well recently and my tireness is not helping. Had a long and rather depressing discussion last night but good to finally get things out in the open. Basically we both feel if it wasn't for DS we might well have split up by now and getting pregnant again became a bit of a mission after 18 months of trying and one mc but unfortunately our relationship is not in a great place now for me to be having another and I do worry about the future. We came up with some solutions and we both need to make more effort we agreed, so we will see how things go.

DH is also worried about money and we bought a house in Nov which needs lots of work and now he feels we can afford the extension, but I don't think we would have bought the house if we were not going to extend.

I feel quite stressed and run down generally at the moment. My ezcema has come up, which I have not had since I was a child. Lots of allergies and general tireness. Sorry for moan. No one in RL knows I am pregnant yet and I don;t like to expose DH and I's problems to my RL friends (although they know there are issues)

Hope everyone is ok.

Ooooh congrats Collie!!! Has the worrying magically lifted?? Please say yes. Belfast sounds fab, my friend is moving there in 3ish weeks as her dh is in the army.

Lara I've been drinking the apple hi-Juice, but gone off it now. Thinking maybe a squeeze of lemon juice might be the way to go next.......

I have loads of cm too, no blobs thank goodness!! I won't go anywhere without wearing a towel though. For cm and also in case I mc again. Neurotic??? Me??!!

Monday's List (9th May 2011)

Nickster 27+2 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 23+2 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 22+2 EDD 10/09/11 next scan 25/5/11
Daisybell 21+4 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 20+1 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 19+6 EDD 26/09/11 next scan 13/5/11
mamapower 19+5 EDD 28/9/11
DoubleDiffedDachs 18+5 EDD 5/10/11 next scan 18/5/11
Emoo 18+3 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 19/5/11
Lovemysleep 17+6 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 16+1 EDD 24/10/11
Onions 16+1 EDD 24/10/11 Next Scan 07/06/11
IreneHeron 16+1 EDD 23/10/11 next scan 3/6/11
Velvetcu 15+6 EDD 25/10/11 next scan 22/06/11
MummyAbroad 14+3 EDD 4/11/11
CEP 14+2 EDD 5/11/11 - 20 wk scan 22/6/11
Hils74 13+5 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 13+4 EDD 10/11/11 next scan 23/6/11
Haffertee 13+2 EDD 14/11/11
delilahbelle 12+4 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 12+4 EDD 17/11/11
Collie 12+1 EDD 20/11/11
Ninunina: 12+0 EDD 21/11/11 next scan 12/5/2011
wombatinwaiting: 11+4 EDD 24/11/11 NT scan 12/5/11
Banana87: 11+4 EDD 24/11/11 NT scan 19/5/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 11+2 EDD 26/11/11 NT scan 16/5/2011
LaraMi 10+3 EDD 2/12/11 Next scan - 18/05/11
Blackkat 10+0 EDD 5/12/11
Jigglebum 9+4 EDD 8/12/11
Hairylights 4+0

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; harassed; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504